Sadist's Fire Pt. 01: Begging

He was right there. City of millions and the stars aligned where I got to see him. He seemed out of place in the rush. It was just wrong that a god like him should be seen by this many people at once, seemed like sacrilege that they should all walk past him without acknowledging that he was divine.

I turned around and followed him, as if he had my leash again. I could almost feel it back around my neck, could almost feel the chains I so missed. And I was curious. Where was he going? What was he doing here? I hid behind people and pillars, dodging to keep him just in sight and staying behind so he wouldn't see me. How did he move so easily, with such security? I cringed from people wherever I went, trying to make myself smaller to get out of their way. He was the opposite. Other people got out of his way and it was fascinating to see it. He had this grace and self assurance that made him seem like a lion unconcerned about the tons of zebra that surrounded it. And the sheer amount of grace he had! Oh, it was sexy as hell...

He paused at a point and then turned down a side way where there were restrooms and I had to quickly dart to follow him, hoping I didn't lose him. But when I turned the corner, he stood to the side, watching me, and I blushed furiously. "You're shit at stalking," he said.

My blush deepened, remembering this wasn't the first time he'd told me this. "Yes, sir."

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, then, little plaything. For future times, if you're going to follow me, then do it by my side like a good toy, so you're in easy reach. And if you insist, then let's go, but you're going to amuse me since you're here. Same for future run-ins."

I grinned. "Yes, sir!"

He turned away and I followed again, this time by his side. And it was less stressful than trying to follow him without his seeing me. I could stand close to him and it felt like falling under a blanket of protection, as if his self possession covered me too and I was free to walk easier. And I could get my questions on why he was there answered. But, of course, like he demanded, I was a toy to amuse him if I kept him company. He made it very clear that that was our dynamic and I had best get damn well used to it like a good plaything.

But then, it wasn't so difficult to be that. "Stand up straighter if you're going to be beside me." He spoke softly, but with command in his voice, and even though that was a difficult command to follow, I did it. I liked cowering by his side and hiding next to him, but it was possible for me to raise my head and straighten. "Good girl. You may not be in a place where you can outwardly be my toy, but that's still what you are. Be a pretty, graceful little toy for me, understood?"

"Yes, Master." I glanced at him, loving the way he walked. It made me feel safe and a little afraid of him, but I liked being afraid of him too.

"And if you're spoken to, be fucking polite and use your manners."

I snickered, unable to help myself. "I don't think I could do otherwise with you, Master. I'd be too scared to."

He snorted and was silent for a moment, and then asked, "Why are you here?"

"I was looking for jewelry for my piercings and going to get a stuffed animal from the Disney store." I said it absently, trying to remind myself again to stand up straight and be a pretty toy that he liked showing off.

"Don't bother with the jewelry. I'll get you some to wear. What's the stuffed animal for?"

I shivered at the thought of him replacing my rings. "It's for me. I just want one."

He chuckled, lips curving up, and again it transformed his face, so that the usually stern features turned lighter and younger. "Fair enough." He turned into a store and I blinked.

It was a music shop. I followed him, watching while he went to the counter, but I stayed back when he did, not wanting to be overly intrusive. It was a short exchange anyway, one where the worker smiled at him with familiarity - and respect, I noticed - and went to a back room for a moment while Master waited. It intrigued me that the worker spoke with familiarity but my master's face and mannerisms were distantly polite, as they were with strangers and anyone else. He didn't seem to favor anyone so far as I could tell, but it was obvious when people knew him from somewhere.

It was also becoming obvious that none of them were very close to him. I looked around while we waited, enjoying the store. It was funny to me that the quietest place I had experienced in this mall would be a music store. I looked at different guitar strings, thinking I should take up the guitar sometime, when the worker came back with a case that he gave to Master.

When he opened it, I couldn't help myself. I moved closer, enchanted by the violin in it. Master noticed me and gestured. "Go on. You can look." He handed his card to the worker beside me, while I trailed my fingers across the strings on the violin. "I just inherited this one," he said over me. "It wasn't very well taken care of and needed work done. I'm not sure how I'll like the sound over the one I normally use, but it was causing me pain to have it there without giving it some love."

"That makes sense." I smiled up at him, infatuated all over again. Of course he played something like the violin. "I haven't played since high school."

"What did you play?" He waved goodbye and we walked out together, after he closed the violin case.

"Clarinet. I liked how pretty it sounded, but I'm not interested in playing it again. I'd rather play guitar, I think." I hesitated. "I mostly think I need to pick music, in general, back up again. Because I remember the mindset and mental processing that went with it and I think it's something missing for me right now. I think it's intellectually healthy, kind of like logic puzzles are healthy."

He touched my lower back and I inhaled, trying to ignore the sudden throbbing desire in my sex just from his touch. It made me remember his hand in my hair while I sucked his cock, made me remember his touch on my face before he so viciously said I was too filthy to interest him. "Stand straight." I hurried to obey. "And it has everything good that comes with any discipline. Martial arts, music, language. Many people don't even have the desire to learn. Fewer have the perseverance to go through with learning and to put in the time and effort. If you want to stand out in those ways, then you have to earn it."

I considered all that, thinking that it was all accurate really. And it also made me really want to be one of the ones who had the patience, like he obviously had. I trailed beside him and then stopped when I realized which store he was going into next. The Disney store. He guided me through it, towards the stuffed animal tower, where he stood and studied it thoughtfully. I tilted my head, wondering if I was supposed to do anything.

No, as it turned out. He chose an Aristocat stuffed animal and had me follow him to the desk, where he paid for it and handed it to me. I stared up at him, wide eyed, opening my arms slightly when I wanted to hug him and then curling in on myself when I was too scared to do something like that. The result was that he hissed at me and his voice was deliberately cruel while he dragged me from the store. "Stand the fuck up. How many times do I have to tell you?" I straightened again, shaking in fear at the vehemence in his tone.

But his lips were curving in that cruel, cold smile he got when he liked seeing me cower or in pain. My eyes went down and I swallowed when I could see the outline of his erection through his jeans. Now that I knew when to look for it, it was clear when he got hard. "I'm sorry!"

I backed away when his eyes went storm dark. "Since you can't be bothered to add 'sir' or 'Master' to your apology, go home and don't go to Sulfur's ‪until next Thursday‬."

Horror flooded through me and I grabbed his arm with a pathetic whimper while he watched in his twisted pleasure. "No. Please, not that. Please, I'll do anything. I'm sorry, Master, please."

"Cute. But I don't want anything. I want you to get out of my sight and think about terms of address and respect until I said to. ‪Next Thursday‬. 7. Get out."

I clung to him, shaking slightly. "No! I can't do it, I can't. Please, I'm begging you. I'll do anything, Master, and I'm sorry and please hurt me." His eyes darkened at those words and thrill raced through my body at the sight. I pressed on even while I was terrified. "Hurt me, Master. Even the cane, anything. Please. I'll get on my knees if you want and kiss your ankles and beg for hours if you like!"

"Jesus fuck. What kind of a pathetic excuse for a submissive are you that you can't take the hint? No. Now, leave and don't come back to Sulfur's until next goddamn Thursday."

I whirled away from him gracelessly, in a burst of random emotion. "I hate you!" I said the words softly, without any conviction at all in them and said them so weakly that it was fucking laughable because anyone who heard them from my mouth would know I was a liar. I didn't even know if he heard them at first, they were that weak and guilty.

And I was forced to admit that I only said those words because of how aroused it made me to see it when my demon tormented me. My sex felt goddamned swollen with how wildly horny I had become and I wanted to masturbate myself into four rapid orgasms as soon as I got home. I stood on the sidewalk when I was free of the mall, feeling defeated and ridiculous. The sudden burst of emotion had been unexpected. Ugh, I'd acted stupid and it was embarrassing, but then my stupid seemed to be par for the course where he was concerned.

I squeaked when his hand was suddenly on the back of my neck, knowing exactly who it was and knowing it couldn't mean anything good. And it didn't. "Say you're fucking sorry and do it correctly the first time."

"I'm sorry, Master," I mewled pathetically. "I didn't mean it, I didn't. And I'm sorry I didn't accept your punishment like I'm supposed to. And I'm sorry that-"

"That's enough. I get the gist and your list doesn't help me with your bratty fucking behavior anyway. And I'm well aware that you were just being a bitch by saying that." Tears sprang to my eyes and I whimpered. "But since you're so insistent, come there tomorrow then."

I inhaled, head bowed where he had me by my neck. "Yes, Master. Thank you, Master."

His laugh was so dark that tendrils of terror crawled up my throat and I swallowed nervously. "Oh, we'll see if you continue to say that. All of my efforts are going to go into making you wish you had stayed the fuck away when given the chance. 7."

It turned out to be the second time that everything would change for me.

————

My master was waiting for me when I arrived that time and his eyes were flat and uninviting when I went to his side, something that served to intensify my fear. I didn't regret anything, but I had to keep reminding myself that I didn't, especially when he looked so stern and hard. "Strip." Even his voice was something terrifying. I scurried to obey, tugging off my clothes and handing them to him. And this time he didn't have any cute lingerie for me, didn't have any pretty and lacy bras that would make me feel so graceful at his knees. He left me cold instead and fitted me with a collar, but it wasn't the nice, pretty one with silver under it. Oh, it was still silver, but it was thick and humiliating. He fastened it with a look of assessing irritation and attached my chain leash, something I took comfort in. I missed the leash and at least it stayed the same.

I looked down in a form of sad misery when he tugged it, wondering how I would suffer tonight, wondering if I would hate myself by the end of this. Our thing had started so weird, but we definitely had a thing now, whatever it was. I finally looked up when he stopped walking.

And things got very twisted from there on out. He stood in front of the man from last time, the one who had fucked me before, and there was a Domme with him. And I knew where this was going. Of course my master wouldn't be spending the night with me. He had made me miserable with the thought of not being here, but I suddenly understood that this might not be better. This might be worse, way worse, to know he was so near and to be unable to serve and bow to him. He handed my leash to the man and his Domme friend, along with a key. "You wanted to fuck her again. Don't abuse my toy, but use her in any way you like."

The man grinned at me, tugging my leash, pulling me away from my master so that I trembled. Master had always been near during our times and suddenly I didn't wonder if this was worse than staying away anymore. I had my answer when I was tugged forward by my leash. I should have stayed away because this was definitely worse, so much worse. The Domme grabbed me before I could even look back at my master and plea with him, her hands stroking up my shoulders. "Look at you. And you serve like a whore even lower than his other partners." I whimpered and she kissed me, lips pressing to mine.

Females kissed differently than males did. I lifted to it, curious as to that difference, marveling at how she was softer than the guys I had kissed, even if she was so obviously a D type. There was something terrifying about it. That softness didn't translate to kindness for me.

No, that softness seemed to suggest that she would be more pitiless than a male would be. Males were inherently wired to be protective of the opposite gender, but another female would know we weren't so easily broken. And this one had vibrant red hair like Trish did, but she was nothing like Trish. She had a sharper, meaner look in her eyes, a look that made me cower. When I got the chance to turn back, my master was already gone and my leash was tugged away when they led me to one of the private rooms and used the key my master had given them.

When they opened the door, I felt a flood of heat through my body. It was the straight up medieval torture dungeon setup and it was my favorite actually. I had been in here before to role play interrogation games with Doms that Trish or Morgan would introduce me to. Now I tried to imagine my master in it with me and thrills of absolute terror went down my spine, instead of the playful memories I had. As if that wasn't bad enough, he wasn't even here to reassure me through that fear. He had left me with these two strangers instead.

The Domme was easily the boldest of the two. She shut the door behind us and grasped me by my hair so that I squeaked in fear, lifting to her and shaking. But she only laughed at my nerves and dragged me to the middle of the floor before she got the head box from the side. "A little fucktoy like you has to know how something like this works. We don't need your face." Her submissive partner laughed behind me and helped her fit my mouth with the open mouthed gag. And he might have been on the S side of things, but he wasn't nice to me. There was a roughness to his touch that was flat out mean, actually. The open circle was locked into my mouth, the corner straps of it fit with metal that had connection for another part of the head box. The result being that my face was covered, encased in a wooden box... but my mouth could still be used, as fitting a fucktoy like me. I'm sorry, master. I'm sorry. And I suffered all of it without fighting or even saying a word. I had to bend over in a humiliating way that showed off my ass, displaying my pussy for use, and my face was pressed forward and held up in an uncomfortable way.

"Did you want to use her mouth?" The Domme asked it over me.

And her friend was already running his fingers up my slit, which was drenched. "Not really. God, she's fucking dripping. It's no wonder Calloway started buying her pretty little collars after the first time. With a pussy as slutty as hers and the way she looks at him as if begging for his abuse." He slapped my ass and I pulsed in horny heat, orgasm threatening me.

God, this was twisted in all the best ways and my master wasn't even here. The Domme laughed above me and something was shoved into my mouth, while the guy stopped his toying to tether my legs apart in a position that would make sure I stayed open for use. I quickly realized what kind of gag was in my mouth too, when it inflated. It went slowly, so fucking slowly, and I could hear the Domme squeezing the bulb above me, could hear every last second of the inflation as it filled my mouth so completely that it hurt and I whimpered through my nose. But she went just a little farther until I was forced to snort instead, unable to make hardly any sound around so much.

My hands were clasped to the collar, chained to the back of my neck so that I was secured into pure fucktoy stance. I shifted a little and didn't find a bit of recourse. Fear intensified everything.

Along with terrible amounts of arousal. I whimpered when the guy was back to toying with me, using his fingers to fill me up and tease me and I couldn't hold the orgasm back this time. I came with a soundless cry, my mouth too stuffed for me to succeed in noise. My face was hidden in the box and I was just for use, without my master to even comfort me through it. Needless to say, I quaked in punished bliss, my body curving what little it could. And that was where things went wrong. That was where the night turned.

"You little fuck." It was the Domme who spoke in a cruel voice. "He can't just let you do that."

It was the guy who laughed. "Actually, he doesn't care. If she can get off on it, then he usually just lets her. God, the night I fucked her she came so goddamned hard as soon as I fed her some cock."

The Domme snorted and she sounded farther away, but then when she spoke, her voice approached again. "I don't just allow it. And you serve the pleasure of whoever he loans you to."

But you didn't tell me the rules! I thought it, followed by the terror that she seemed to think the behavior reflected on my master, which was the worst thought. If I was commanded, then I would have obeyed, would have never embarrassed him. And it was unfair... but there was nothing I could do about it.

Something hit my ass, not overly hard, and I yelped silently into my gag, excitement lancing through me with the slight hurt along with fire hot desire. No! No! You can't. You don't understand! Hell, I didn't even understand. It wasn't the pain that bothered me. I had begged my master for pain and had been braced for the eventual possibility of it and the light toy she spanked me with could hardly even be called pain play. But there was still just this knowledge, and I didn't know where it came from, but it was this instinct that this was not okay by him. Pain was his domain, not something he would share. It was the way he so lovingly stroked his whips, the way he gazed in curiosity as he tormented. If he used me for pain, it would be solely for him. Others could have sex, but they couldn't have that, not even in this light way. That was his sovereignty and he was a jealous god. I squealed with the next strike, taking it, and I had another insight.

These strikes turned me on something fierce, but they were also messy. They were uneven, not at all the perfect decorum I had seen from my master. He just wasn't like most other Doms who played to get off because he, for him, the playing and the marks was the getting off. So, he was carefully assessing about every strike he gave and the Domme was the type who didn't particularly care and wasn't even trying to abuse me anyway. And if this turned me on, then how much more would his expertise make me riled, if I could ever earn it? I snorted through my nose, taking a third and fourth strike, and then a fifth. She slapped my ass over some of the stinging pain of whatever hard surface implement she used, and I lifted to the touch, hot with need and desire. I had played some dirty games, but this one was a strange head fuck on a lot of different levels. "Don't cum unless you're told, are we clear?"