Safe and Warm

We briefly made eye contact, then she rapidly turned back towards the stage. I was busted staring. Great!

The next week, I checked the attendance sheet that was passed around, and learned my attractive row-mate's name was Heather Doyle. Curiously, she gave me a warm smile when our eyes locked later that same session. Life was good.

At such a large university, casual relationships were fleeting. Most people kept within their peer group, but I was desperate to break out and meet the hot girl from class. Then again, it appeared everyone else did too.

If Heather wasn't the most beautiful girl at school, she certainly was in the top one percent. Sadly, she always seemed to have a posse in tow. After class I hoped to engage her, but it never happened organically. Since she had so many friends and suitors, I then opted to play the mysterious, indifferent type. The aloof route didn't work either, so after a while I gave up.

Heather was a serious student, if rumors were true, and was not into the party scene. I myself tried to strike a comfortable balance between the two. Sadly, I never found Heather in the library or any of the other quiet spots I frequented to study on campus, nor at casual school events. But in a school of almost nineteen thousand, that was more the rule than the exception.

I grew to truly admire Heather, as she seemed completely unafraid to answer Dr. Patterson's questions in the enormous lecture hall. Her confidence was almost unnerving. Inspired, I attempted to do the same and became an active participant in the Q&A at the end of class. Although Heather and I occasionally exchanged nods and furtive glances, we never chatted.

Then, it happened! For the first time all year, I found the amazing Heather Doyle at a party. Sadly, it was the post-finals week Spring bash at my buddy Mike's frat house, the last blowout before everyone headed home for summer break.

After a bit of liquid courage, I screwed up the nerve and walked up to her. "Hello."

"Hi. Ben, right?" she smiled encouragingly.

"Yeah," I nodded, perhaps a bit too excitedly, astounded she actually knew my name. "And you're...Heather?"

"Yep, that's me" she responded with a toothy grin. Uncomfortable silence ensued, before she stated, "I loved hearing your thoughts in Dr. Patterson's lecture."

"Umm, thanks. I really enjoyed his class," I muttered. Standing so close, I was amazed that Heather's green eyes were even brighter than I had witnessed from across the room. "Oh, I loved all your comments too," I gushed awkwardly.

We chatted amicably on and off for an hour or so. Her female friends and random dudes interrupted us repeatedly, yet we somehow always gravitated back towards one another. If I hadn't been before, by that point I was completely smitten.

After I refreshed our beers once more, we moved into a quiet corner. Heather took a sip from her red plastic cup and coyly asked, "So, what took you so long?"

Put on the spot, I stuttered, "Wha...what do you mean?"

She gave me a knowing smirk, "I've seen you checking me out."

Tired of feeling like a pussy, and possibly flexing my beer muscles, I responded, "I couldn't help myself."

Heather leaned in and gave me a soft peck on the chin. "Just so you know, a few guys asked me out this year, but none of them interested me." With a wink, she added, "But I'm interested in you."

I felt equally proud and foolish at the same time. Proud that my crush appeared to like me too, but a fool for not introducing myself earlier. Emboldened by her comment, I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as well.

Heather grinned at me with rosy cheeks, I'm sure feeling the effects of the alcohol just as I was. "Next year, ask me out, ok?"

We were then interrupted by a frat brother holding a tray of Jell-O shots, which Heather gladly accepted. First, she fed me one, then swallowed another herself.

Speakers blared moments later, and Heather shrieked, "Oh, I love this song! Come on."

Before I even knew what hit me, I was pulled into a throng of writhing revelers on a makeshift dancefloor. Bodies rocked all around us, but I had eyes for only one.

A slow song finally interrupted the steady stream of up-tempo numbers, and Heather immediately pressed herself tightly against me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, then nestled herself comfortably into my body. A moment later, she looked up at me with expectant eyes. Intuitively understanding what she desired, I lowered my lips to hers.

We made out undisturbed in the middle of the swaying crowd without a care in the world. In spite of the numerous beers and shots I had consumed, an erection soon spiked between us. I was embarrassed, yet Heather didn't appear to mind at all. On the contrary, she began slowly grinding her midsection against mine.

Encouraged, I traced my hands down her back, until I grasped her taut ass. She whimpered in my mouth as I pulled her forward, our bodies swaying sensually to the music. "Oh, god," Heather grunted, making me wonder if she might cum right there in the middle of the dancefloor.

When the song ended, Heather placed her hands on my chest to force me away. "Sorry, but I really need to pee," she shyly admitted, "don't go anywhere."

No sooner had Heather departed than my buddy Mike was on me. "You fucking stud! Please tell me she's not leaving."

I couldn't suppress a smirk, "Just a bathroom break."

He nodded knowingly, "Atta boy."

I was about to ask if there was a secluded spot where I could take Heather to get better acquainted, but Mike was way ahead of me. "So, I'm staying at Julie's place tonight. If you want to use my room, feel free."

Mike had been assigned my mentor during orientation, and had been like a big brother ever since. "Dude, I owe you."

"No worries, just have fun," he said, pulling me into a hug.

Heather reappeared shortly thereafter with two nearly overflowing red cups in her hands, so we made our way to a nearby couch where we chatted. And kissed. Mostly kissed.

My head was simply spinning. At first more from finally scoring Heather Doyle after months of fantasizing, then from the effects of the alcohol. One of my last clear memories from the evening was taking Heather by the hand and escorting her to Mike's room.

I awoke groggily the next morning in a strange bed, naked and alone under the sheets. My head throbbed as I contemplated just where I was and how I had arrived there. Peering about, I realized I was in Mike's room, which slightly softened my nerves. Then disjointed memories began slowly streaming in, and I fought to piece things together.

As I nursed a hangover that morning, I wracked my brain trying to remember exactly what had transpired the evening before. Most importantly, how it had ended. Sadly, little would fall into place. A largely impenetrable fog had rolled into my head about the time Heather, and I left the common room, with few moments of clarity thereafter.

I definitely remembered us passionately kissing. I hazily recollected Heather's blonde head in my lap, then her straddling my abdomen, while sensually disrobing. Scant images of a blouse being pulled over her head and tossed away, exposing a sexy black bra, before it too was summarily cast aside.

Scattered visions of Heather then bouncing atop me, followed by me taking her from behind flittered in and out of my head. But I simply couldn't distinguish fantasy from reality. I found a thick crust around the base of my cock, thoroughly matting my public hair. Something evidently happened, perhaps only a wet dream.

It seemed cruel that after so much anticipation, I could remember so few of the intimate details of our night together. If we fucked - and I was somewhat certain we had, I prayed Heather was left with a better impression of our coupling. Or any positive memory of me at all.

As I fought to make sense of things, I did find an item that seemed to indicate the fleeting memories were not complete hallucinations. Standing out clearly against the white sheets next to my chest rested a skimpy pair of black panties. They had to be Heather's. They just had to be.

Tiny and light as a feather, I stretched them out before my face. Without a second thought, I pulled them to my nose, and breathed in. A strong feminine scent instantly wafted into my nostrils. The lovely smell frustrated me completely, as I could not recall if I had gone down on Heather. My mouth tasted like stale beer, so I had no indication -- but hoped I had anyway.

The next afternoon, I reluctantly drove home for break. As I labored as a landscaper under the hot sun that summer, my mind often wandered to Heather. When we reunited once more, would she still want me to ask her out?

I strolled campus with a cocky gait the next fall, yet never saw her. I heard rumors she had transferred to a school closer to home, but no one could confirm them. Not being friends with any of Heather's pals, I was reluctant to inquire further. So, it appeared my dream girl was gone. What had seemed so promising was lost.

I pulled my mind back to the present and gazed at Kristin. She continued to page through the photos, barely looking at me. When she flipped the last picture over, she hung her head low. I could tell her face was red and I felt terrible for not showing keener interest. Tears rolled down her cheeks as I heard a soft, stuttering, "I'm sorry, I...shouldn't have...bothered you."

There were times in my life when I was justifiably accused of being a cold-hearted asshole. This would not be one of them. I reached across the table to lovingly grasp Kristin's hands within my own. Her emerald eyes gazed upon me with an expectancy I could almost feel in the pit of my soul. Before I could stop myself, I shared, "I'm glad you did."

"Ohh, thank you," she gasped.

Without thinking, I guided her around the table and onto my lap. I had no prior parental experience but rapidly found I didn't need any. We melted together as though we had done so countless times before.

I gently placed a palm behind Kristin's head, and directed her cheek to my shoulder. If she wasn't my daughter, I would marry this lovely girl in a heartbeat and be the luckiest guy in the world.

The diner had other patrons, a few of whom were gazing our way. Normally I would have been embarrassed for creating a minor scene, yet at that time I didn't give one flying fuck. This was something I had to do.

Kristin softly heaved against me as I held her close. Suddenly I felt super strong, almost as if I could leap tall buildings in a single bound; probably like how most fathers feel when they hold their kids. This was entirely new territory for me - but I liked it.

After Kris cried herself out, I eased her slightly away from me, to once again look upon her tear-streaked but adorable face. She had small pools welling beneath her pretty green eyes, and as I cupped her cheeks in my hand, I brushed them away with my thumbs.

Krissy gave me a soft smile and I simply couldn't help myself. I moved forward and gave her a gentle peck on the forehead in a fatherly way. As I looked downwards, it appeared she was hoping for more. Without thinking, I leaned in until our lips touched.

It was no lovers kiss, yet nonetheless my mind went numb when I heard her sigh contentedly. I closed my eyes as the sweet sensation of our intimate contact rushed throughout my body.

I have no idea how long we sat there, but when I finally regained a measure of composure, I found Kristin peering up at me with a dreamy look upon her beautiful face. She appeared to be savoring the moment. Despite the slightly bloodshot eyes and streaks from her tears, she seemed as content as any person I had ever met.

"My mom told me you were handsome," Kristin whispered. "She was right."

"I, umm...thanks," I mumbled. I wanted to tell her she was without a doubt the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, but decided to keep that to myself for fear of coming off creepy.

Before viewing Kristin face to face, I had contemplated being a hard ass - demanding we meet in my lawyer's office and immediately requiring a DNA test. Suddenly, I didn't care. And it wasn't just because she was beautiful. There was just a certain something there that I thought only a dad would notice. Her dad.

Inexplicably, at that moment, I felt a swelling in my groin - much like I had experienced while dancing with her mom all those years before. It had been months since I shared intimacies with a woman, and never before with one so enchanting. I was ashamed of my physical reaction; but thankfully she was sitting atop my thigh and wasn't aware of my awakening enthusiasm.

Kristin finally arose with a subtle shake, then again took her seat across from me. Her eyes appeared dewy, but she gave me a sweet nod and a gorgeous smile. Thoughts of her mom were left far behind.

But was I supposed to inquire about her mom? It felt disingenuous to ask questions after being out of her life for so long, yet I was curious. How did she manage to raise this amazing girl on her own? And did she raise her alone? Did Kris call another man Dad? Thousands of thoughts rattled around in my head, yet I barely uttered a word.

After finishing her tea, Kristin inquired, "So, umm, can we get together again?"

She appeared so willingly vulnerable my heart nearly leapt from my chest. I couldn't help myself as I smiled broadly, "You bet."

"Thank you," Kristin replied, and started sobbing once more.

From the very core of my being, I wanted to hold her and make all her cares go away forever. In short order I went through a range of emotions. Anger began to rage inside me. Why hadn't Heather told me I had a child? With little effort, she could have found me; why hadn't she? I was undoubtably the only Benjamin Barton at State. What the fuck?

Feeling the need to be a rock for Kristin, I took a few deep, steady breaths to compose myself. This was about her, not me.

Upon reflection, who was I to judge? Maybe all those years ago Heather truly believed she was doing me a favor. I was not ready to be a father at that age, so perhaps she bravely took the task of raising our child upon herself, in spite of any stigma. Given the results, she clearly had done a wonderful job.

In the restaurant parking lot, Kristin nervously asked me something I knew was coming from the very beginning. Her cheeks glowed as she inquired, "I hate to ask this, but would you mind...taking a test?"

"Of course not." The Heather I remembered did not at all seem like a tramp, so if I had done the deed, I was ready to step up. I wasn't going to slut-shame anyone.

After fishing about in her folder, Kristen extracted an envelope. She handed it to me with bowed head, seemingly unable to look my way.

Kris grasped my hand within hers as we walked towards her car. It felt right. She appeared reluctant to let go before opening her door, and then turned back towards me. "Thank you for coming."

I'm not sure if it was for her benefit or my own, but I responded, "I was happy to be here."

Kristin's eyes welled again, "Hmm, okay, so...maybe see you soon?" After a brief hug, she climbed behind the wheel and drove away.

I stood motionless in the parking lot for a few minutes, then shook my head and strode towards my car. Plopping down on the cushioned seat, I silently contemplated my life.

Moments before, I sat across from the loveliest woman I had ever met. Somehow, I was only partially freaked out to think she may have been my own flesh and blood. There was no denying I found her captivating, I hoped due to the clear resemblance to her mom. But I had other feelings for her - I just couldn't yet reconcile what they were.

Arriving home, I poured myself a deep glass of scotch. Tense muscles slowly relaxed as I repeatedly pulled from the drink, but I simply could not shut off my mind. As I sipped the smooth whiskey, I contemplated the likelihood that I may in fact have a daughter.

Sleep proved nearly impossible once more that evening, as I just couldn't get Kristin's lovely face out of my mind. I remembered every cute expression and striking feature, each more amazing than the last. She was truly breathtaking.

I was troubled to again find my cock hard. And not just the usual bedtime erection I had experienced so many times over the years. No, I was truly, painfully rigid. As much as I wanted to deny it, I knew there was but one source of my excitement.

I tried to tell myself that it was simply because Kristin looked so much like my fantasy girl, but I knew better. Kristin had awoken something within me I hadn't even known existed. A twisted paternal instinct that not only wanted to love and protect her, but love her. Intimately.

Only moments later my cell phone vibrated upon my bedside table. Normally I would have let it go to voicemail, but I was fairly certain of the caller's identity. It was just after 10:30 PM and I worried there might have been an accident on the way home. I answered anxiously, "Hello?"

"Hi," my caller whispered softly.

There was no need for introductions, as I immediately recognized the sensual timbre of her voice. Kristin sounded comfortable, certainly not distressed, which eased my mind considerably. Relieved, I rested my head back into my pillow. "Hi there."

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I'm up," I responded, no double entendre intended - yet my cock was still fully erect.

"So, I didn't call too late?" she asked tentatively. There was a silkiness to her voice that almost made me shiver.

"Never too late for you," I replied easily. She seemed to have me out on a limb like no other woman ever had before, so I figured I'd tell the truth.

"Thanks."

The line was quiet before I asked, "So, you made it home safely?"

"Yep."

"And you couldn't sleep either?"

"Nope."

I somewhat anticipated the answer, but had to ask anyway, "So, what's keeping you up?"

"You," Kris responded directly. Her reply made me uneasy, but I understood. I didn't need clarification as I too was right there with her. Before I could speak, she uttered softly, "I enjoyed our...time together."

"Me too," I replied honestly.

"So, I guess you made it home too."

"I did, but you don't need to worry about me," I answered as positively as possible.

The line was quiet, before she asked, "So, when the results come in...you'll let me know?"

This was undoubtedly on her mind from the very beginning. "Of course."

In barely a whisper, I heard, "Do you hate me for asking?"

My breath caught in my throat. Somehow, I managed to reply, "Kristin, I could never hate you."

Between sobs, I could barely make out the words, "Thank you."

There were so many things to say. All seemed to touch on topics far too sensitive for a late-night conversation between people who hardly knew one another. At a stalemate, I balked and said, "Well, you should try to get some rest."

"Okay," she replied, yet I could tell there was more on her mind. Another long silence ensued before she threw me for a loop with her next question, "Do you think...you could ever love me?"

Never in my life had I experienced anyone exposing their inner thoughts so nakedly, and my heart ached for her. Feeling the significance of the moment, I responded honestly, "I think...I already do."

I heard a soft groan and assumed perhaps she felt the same towards me.

There was another long pause as we both seemed unsure where next to take the conversation. I'm usually cautious in relationships, however my next comment flowed seamlessly, as though I was hearing it from someone else. "No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you."

I heard her gasp, "You promise?"

"I promise."

"Oh, thank you," she whimpered.

A shiver ran down my spine as I replied, "You're welcome, baby." The word 'baby' slipped out unintentionally, yet it felt oddly natural.