tagIncest/TabooSanta Clause Cums Tonight

Santa Clause Cums Tonight

byWyden Long©

I won't bother trying to describe myself. You've all heard my description--"nose like a cherry", and a "belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly" and all that shit. What the prick who wrote all that about me didn't know was what was hanging under that bowl of jelly. What's the point of fulfilling all those wishes for everybody else if you can't help yourself out once in a while?

I get around a bit, about once a year. Most of the time I'm just hanging around the old pole, trying to interest Mrs. Clause in a little of the old roly poly, usually with damned little success. For a long time I just thought she was too old for sex, then I began to notice that far-away look in her eye more and more often and thought I could see more movement under her long skirts than could reasonably be explained. So, I kind of lurked around the corner of the hall one day until she began breathing a little faster and moaning a bit.

Before long, she was really yelling for somebody to go faster because she was about to cum. I couldn't figure it out because I had just left the room a few minutes earlier and thought she was alone. Then it dawned on me. I stalked back in there, stood directly in front of the hussy and whipped her long skirts up.

Yep, there was that damned Pinnoccio doll she had asked for last XXXmas, and from the looks of things, he had been telling many, many lies. I was so disgusted. "You think just because you're a doll you can get away with anything, don't you? Going around sticking your nose in other people's business! Now go wipe that stuff off your nose and try to act like a little boy for a change."

Mrs. Clause looked at me tearfully, not knowing what direction my wrath would lead me in this time. I guess she was remembering the time I caught her with Rudolph, but that's another story.

However, I couldn't get too mad at her. At least this told me she hadn't lost interest in sex, she just got more kinky.

"Don't worry, sweet cheeks. I'm not mad, but just to even things up a bit, I'm thinking about paying a visit to the teenage boys' wish locker."

"Oh, no, dear. Don't do that. You know how weak in the knees that leaves you and you have a lot of traveling to do this week. Just let me suck on that big thing a little while you calm down. You really need to finish reading that stack of letters that came in this morning. I've sorted them by age group and sex. Tell you what. Why don't you read a few from this batch while I hum your favorite tune?"

"Good idea, dear. Let's see now."

"Dear Santa. My name is Nadine and I'm 23 years old. I'm still a virgin because I'm too afraid of how it may change me if I ever lose my virginity. I am so crazy about sex that I've already worn out all those silly vibrators you brought me last year. They were costing me a fortune in batteries, anyhow. I know that it is probably asking too much, but could you see your way clear to stopping by my house long enough to pop my cherry for me? It would make me ever so happy. Here's a picture of me and my pussy. Hope you like it. (Signed) Nadine"

"Ho, ho, ho. There's one good little girl who will get her wish."

Mrs. Clause took her mouth off long enough to complain at my disrespect. "Who you calling a 'Ho', Fat Man? I never charged a penny in my life. In fact, it's getting where I have to pay more every time, it seems."

"Shut up and suck, woman. I'm busy reading here."

"Dear Santa. My name is RuthEllen and I'm having so much fun with those lovely boobs you gave me last year. All the boys seem to enjoy them, too. Last night I let Mr. Brown get a good look at them when he was taking out the garbage and I think he liked them, too. He takes out the garbage a lot. The cans are right under that little slit where my shades don't quite come to the bottom of the window if I'm not really, really careful, you know. Anyhow, I was massaging them like you showed me to do to help them grow evenly, and I could hear him trying to get the lid on the can without looking down. I felt so sorry for him, poor man, so I made sure he could see ok without having to climb too high, but I guess it wasn't good enough because I heard a lot of banging and cussing after a while. Maybe I can take some chicken soup over to him after his wife leaves for work. Oh, and could you please bring me one of those Pinoccio dolls you were telling me about? Love, RuthEllen."

"Dear Santa. My name is SueAnn. I'm from Texas, too, and my boyfriend just can't seem to keep up. I've tried and tried to get him to take his Viagra you gave me last year, but he says there's no skin left on it. If he takes any more Viagra, he'll bleed to death. What am I going to do? I really enjoy it when you let me sit on your lap, but that only happens once a year. Can you bring me something for my problem? I can't wait to sit on your 'lap' again, if you know what I mean. Last year, it was the middle of January before I had much feeling in my pussy after that stretching you gave me. I'm not complaining, but you sure make a girl look forward to XXXmas. Love and kisses, SueAnn."

"Dear Santa. I feel silly writing this because most of my friends tell me you don't exist, but SueAnn and RuthEllen have told me some pretty wild tales and I guess I don't really have anything to lose except my pride if this is just a practical joke, so here goes. What I want is a tight pussy. No, I don't mean I want to get my cat drunk. I mean I wish the little bitty cocks I get around these parts could reach both sides at once. It's hard as hell to have to keep wiggling back and forth so one side doesn't dry out before he can work his way back over to it. I mean, shit! I thought Texans were supposed to have big dicks and I can squeeze a hot dog in two without trying too hard and still can't get any satisfaction. If you can't make my pussy any tighter, can you at least get me a job in New York? I've heard they are all pricks, there. Love, Nell."

Dear Santa. My name is BillyJoeBob and I don't know what kind of shit my girlfriend is writing you but I can tell you one thing. One woman's 'hot dog' may be another man's 'stick of boloney', if you get my drift, and she couldn't get a good grip on a dry two-by-four with those loose flaps she calls 'lips'. I hope to hell she asks you for a tighter pussy, like she's always threatening. It wouldn't hurt a thing if you could take some of those warts off while you're at it, too. Thanks a lot, BillyJoeBob."

"Yo Santa. I know everybody thinks we're all a bunch of big pricks here, but I want to know what time you're fuckin going to get here this year, you old fart. Last year I had to fuckin wait all fuckin night long for your fuckin sleigh to get up on the fuckin roof and one ah your fucking reindeer shit all down my fuckin chimney and I can't get the fuckin smell out of it. Try to get your lazy fuckin ass here on time this year and plan to spend some fuckin time cleaning my fuckin chimney or I'll sue your fuckin ass off. Oh, and bring me a million fuckin dollars, motherfucker.. (Signed) Vinnie.

I had to stop and think a minute before I could place the darling boy. I suppose I had sort of blocked that memory and Mrs. Clause was beginning to hum the credenza about now, so I grabbed another letter to help divert my mind a little, although the thought of how much he would enjoy a million crabs made me smile.

"Dear Santa. I'm ever so hopeful that you will grant my wish this year. I know you told me to be patient, but this is the 27th year that I've waited for Mr. Handsome to come back and let me see him after XXXmas is over. It's not that I haven't enjoyed his special game he plays every year right after I hear you drive away. You know, the one where he throws my skirt up over my head so I can't see him and sticks that big thing in me, while he calls me his "Ho'. I don't mind him calling me a "Ho', but I wish he would let me see his face once in a while. If he is half as handsome as he says he is, I'm sure it would be nice to see him sometime, although I think maybe he could stand to lose a little weight, if you know what I mean. I mean he had this great big dick and all that, but honestly, his belly shook like, well, you know. Love, Marian"

"Dear Santa. I'm SueAnn's boyfriend and I'm wondering if you can bring me some Teflon(r) condoms this year? That wild bitch has fucked the hairs off my balls, just from slamming down on them so hard. Damn, I wish they hadn't outlawed her pony act. It kind of took the pressure off of me a little, you know? Shit! I'm as horny as the next guy, but morning, noon and night ever single fucking day has worn me to a rag. I know it ain't right to moan and complain about getting too much pussy, and I sure as hell ain't never going to bitch about not getting enough again. I do thank you for filling my wish so exactly. She is everything I wished for in my letter, I just didn't know what I was asking for. Tell you what. Can you maybe see it in your heart to bring me another one just like her so I can watch them together? I know it's taking an awful chance, but SueAnn is going to fuck me to death pretty soon anyway and I might as well go out in a blaze of glory. Thanks, Buck.

"Dear Santa. This here is Darlene. If that asshole I live with has been writing you to complain about the reindeer shit in the chimney, I need to explain a little before you get here and start straightening him out. Ya see, Vinnie came home a little earlier than expected that night and Rocco was still 'decorating my tree', if you get my drift. We already had the fire out to cool the chimney down for you, so Rocco jumps in the fireplace to hide when Vinnie comes in. I tried to keep Vinnie away from the fireplace, but he kept wanting to look up to see if you were there yet and every time he did, poor old Rocco shit himself a little. I mean, there he was halfway up a chimney with his balls hanging down where he couldn't see them and a very excitable, very drunk Vinnie, who was known for certain acts of violence was somewhere under him. I kept telling Vinnie the scrabbling was one of your reindeer caught in the chimney and reindeer are famous for loose bowels when they get stuck in chimneys, so he better keep his nose out of there. So anyway, Santa, baby. I'll be so very, very 'grateful', if you get my drift, if you wouldn't let on, you know? Maybe I can do that little trick you like so much where I sort of do 'this' and maybe a little of 'that'. Remember? Ha, ha, ha! I'm saving all my cookies for you. Love, Darlene."

I had to stop a minute and thank Mrs. Clause for such a wonderful job. She was always so conscientious, never spilled a drop and always smacked her lips to let me know how much she enjoyed my contributions.

"You're not still mad at me, are you dear? For taking a little pleasure with my doll?"

"No, of course not, my little turkle duv. I don't mind at all if you can squeeze a little pleasure out of a stick of wood. I'm getting ready to go on the road again and you will need some way to keep your blood pressure down. You know the doctor told you to watch it. By the way, if you really want to get the most out of old Pinoccio, just ask him how long his little weenie is. That ought to grow his nose another inch or too. Oh, and you might want to help me check out that 100 cc vibrator Miss Peach asked for. She wanted one with electric start this year. Her old one was too hard to kick start when her fingers were slippery."

"Yes, dear. We exist only to serve."

"Ok. Try to keep the racket down a little. I've got to finish these letters."

"Dear Santa, this is Kimberly again. Remember last year when I asked you to give that home hypnosis kit to my geeky brother so he would get up the nerve to fuck me? Well, he thinks he is a master hypnotist now. He comes into my room every night with this big hard on and waves his hands at me and says some shit about me getting very sleepy, then he jumps on me and gets his gun and jumps off. I'm still having to get myself off with my fingers every night so I can sleep. The only difference is that my pussy is full of cum when I do.

Here's what I need this year. Can you give him some porno tapes or something so he can see what he's supposed to be doing? I can't tell him because I'm supposed to be hypnotized, right, and he doesn't have a clue. If he didn't think I was hypnotized, he would never dare come in my room at night, so I really need this. Oh, by the way, you might enjoy this. I know I did. He got so carried away with his master hypnotist gig that he tried to hypnotize Mom. She jerked him up by the short hairs and blistered his ass. When Dad came home, he did it again and grounded the little twerp for six months. It was priceless! He still comes into my room for his 60-second fuck every night, but I really need for him to learn to eat pussy. Please see what you can do. Love, Kimberly."

What a darling child! I would surely have to see what kinds of tapes I could come up with. The ones I had in mind were something called SMBD, or something like that. Probably means "small mouths bite deeper", at least that's my guess. I hope she appreciates it. Oh, and there is supposed to be an accessory kit that goes with them. Can't forget that. Now let's see. Where were we?

"Dear Santa. You probably don't remember me, but I'm the guy you gave the hypnotism kit to last year. I just wanted to thank you. I've been able to fuck my uptight sister every night this year. Two or three times every night. She thinks it's only once a night, because I go in her room and make some silly talk about her getting sleepy and all, like the books say. Then I throw a real quick fuck into her just to get some of the pressure off my balls and when I pull out, I really hypnotize her. I tell her that I've left the room and the only way she can get relief is to do it herself. She starts frantically playing with herself, trying to get off, but I won't let her cum. I just love watching her.

Most nights, I hypnotize Mom and Dad, too, and bring them into Kimberly's room. I get her to sit on Dad's prick while she is still trying to get herself off with her fingers, and I have Mom deepthroat me while I watch them.

This has been the best gift anybody could ever get. I have to admit I got into trouble once when I drifted off to sleep and woke up with everybody awake and were they pissed!

This year, I would really like some BDSM accessories. I can't wait to handcuff Kimberly to the bed and bring over my buddy Jake. She should look real good in a ball gag and harness. Thanks again, Santa. Your friend, Billy."

That Billy! What a guy! Guess he reminds me of myself at that age.

Well, I guess I better pack up now. There's lots of greedy little shits out there waiting to see what they are going to get. I plan to leave a lot of broad smiles wherever I go. Got to go get my cookies. Just hope my Teflon(r) condoms hold out. I'm thinking about moving my trip back a few days earlier than usual. December 21st is supposed to be the longest night of the year and I need all the time I can get.

"Ho, ho ho, and away we go! Donner, get your fat ass in line! Blitzen, quit licking Rudolph's balls! Dancer and Prancer, you prissy bastards better shape up or I'm looking for replacements next year. You can't pull a sleigh while you're trying to sniff each other's assholes.

Merry XXXmas to all and to all a good night."

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byWyden Long© 4 comments/ 233573 views/ 16 favorites

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