Sarah's Journey Ch. 021

021 Holy Fuck What Did I Just Do!?

Staring at each other it was obvious that this wasn't going to be pleasant. Apparently Russ couldn't deal with me dating other men even though this was told to him early on. After a really hostile argument with Russ, he finally left and I went up to my condo. I knew I was going to be mad about this for days I could just feel it. And to top it all off I had a text from Brandon about the taxes. We were expected to have to pay quite a bit, and I wasn't expecting that. So another aggravating piece of info there. I had a couple glasses of wine and went to bed.

Tax day was coming and I was going to be happy about being divorced finally. That was the only thing that I was happy about. That Friday I saw my surgeon for another expander fill. I was still pretty fired up after what happened. I asked the Dr. to be very aggressive this time. When he finished I asked if he could add more saline.

"I could, why do you ask?"

"I'm just feeling pretty good right now and they are starting to sag a bit when I don't have a bra on."

"Sarah, you have quite a bit of saline in there, that's heavy. It's going to sag some, that's how we've gotten your tissues expanded to this point. Which is already much larger than I thought you would be able to handle much less be comfortable with."

"I understand, but adding more will make them stand up better without a bra. And it will just accelerate my tissue expansion, right?"

"Well technically yes."

"Is there a health risk to me?"

Grasping my left breast with both hands and lifting it up he attempted to feel my muscles underneath my breast as they hold all the weight. He was having trouble though because holding it with only 1 hand wasn't working. I was pretty happy about that to be honest, I looked in the mirror and I couldn't believe how huge my breasts were now. After a minute he brought a small table on wheels over, lifted it up and had to actually rest my breasts on it in order to examine my muscles and tissue.

"Well your muscles are not showing any signs of weakening or undue stretching."

"Ok then, lets keep going."

"Alright if that's what you want to do I don't see a health reason not to."

After another bag of saline each they did stand up and away from my chest better and looked fantastic with out a bra. They were enormous, they were almost bigger than my head, I thought as I looked in the mirror. I turned sideways and they stuck out further from me than I was thick. God I loved how they looked. And I made sure to let my Dr know!

I did the same ritual with my bra shop lady Rose. She had to put me in a 54II [double I] and even then my breasts bulged and gushed out of the cups.

"Ok Sarah, this is the end of the line for bras. You're going to need a special ordered bra."

"How much do they start at?"

"About $500."

I about shit myself right there.

"Oh, ok, I will plan for that, thank you."

Now there was one more thing that I was mad about, the new bra costs. I couldn't get a $500 bra every 2-4 weeks. As I was at home thinking this through I was pacing, not paying attention as I rounded the corner into the kitchen my left breast hit 3 glasses that were on the counter sending them all crashing to the floor.

Ok so they might be getting to a point that is more problematic than not. I thought to myself as I cleaned up the broken glass. I continued doing stuff around the house all the while not wearing a bra. I figured that I'd do maybe 1-2 more aggressive fills and call it good.

The next few weeks passed and I was still chatting with my construction worker guy, as well as still getting angry texts from Russ. That really aggravated me. Tax day was coming and I was getting antsy about that and how much I'd have to pay.

I got a text from Brandon that the taxes were done and how much I'd need to pay. While I did have it in the bank I didn't want to pay it now. Brandon suggested that with my yearly deposit from him, he just deduct the $85,000 that was my part. Although I didn't make nearly enough to warrant that high of a bill, the HVAC business was really doing well. So that was a good thing sort of. Brandon also said that the divorce papers were waiting for me at the lawyers office. That was a mixed feeling, relief and absolute freedom, but 15 years essentially wasted. With all this I was in a really bad mood.

I think that's where I really went over the edge and off the rails. I drove to the lawyers office and opened the door, as I did I hit my right breast with the door surprisingly it didn't hurt, or I was too mad to notice. I had to turn a bit sideways to get through the door and squeeze them together a bit as well. While another annoyance, I was happy to deal with it, especially after the looks I got from the office staff.

I stood there a few minutes with people staring at my 5'6" 125lb frame with these giant breasts that literally had to be pushed together just a tiny bit to get through the door. I got the papers, looked at them and signed them. Wow that was simple, and it's done, I thought.

As I walked back to my car I was in almost a daze. I called my Dr's office and asked to come in. Thanks to a cancellation they had an opening in 45 minutes. And away I went.

"Ok doc, I here's what I want to do. One more aggressive fill and then implants."

Smiling he said, "Ok, sounds good to me. Remember you will have to get saline implants as no gel ones are this size."

So that day I got divorced, had another aggressive fill, and scheduled my final surgery for my breasts. After I left his office with my gigantic bra in my purse I could tell that my breasts were going to be more in the way that I had expected. I had around 3500CCs in each breast and they showed it. They definitely looked like basketballs, there was no hiding them and that was the way I liked it.

I was scheduled for surgery 4 days later on Tuesday. I arranged time off work and a stay at home nurse to help take care of me for a few days. All that weekend all I could think about was Tuesday and my surgery. Unfortunately the weekend was also filled with hateful texts from Russ, so I had to deal with that as well.

Tuesday finally got here and I showed up for my surgery with my nurse driving me. I already had to change how I got into cars which was something else I hadn't thought of. I was used to my car but not hers. Still really mad and upset at Russ I got prepped for surgery and my Dr. came in.

"Ok, big day." he smiled.

"Yep." I said a pleasantly as I could. With all the thoughts I was processing.

"So we need to talk about the fills on the implants. You're at 3500CCs, are you ok with that size? Do you want to go smaller maybe?"

"Do I need to go smaller?"

"Well medically no, I was more asking for quality of life reasons. I noticed you had a bit of trouble getting out of the car in the parking lot."

"Oh, ya; I'm not used to Marias car. I've had to make quite a few life style changes because of them so far. I'm starting to get good at it." I said with a small chuckle.

"Ok, so what were you thinking?"

Still mad at Russ, and ruminating about 15 years of my life essentially wasted I probably shouldn't have answered that question in that moment.

"You know, what the hell. As big as is medically safe."

"Are you sure about that Sarah? You've done really well with my instructions especially the skin cream. That might be a big jump."

"Yep, lets do it!" I said with an air of defiance. A minute later the anesthesia hit me and out I went.

I woke up in recovery, groggy, bleary eyed, and felt like I had an elephant sitting on my chest. I tried to move and couldn't sit up. Maria was there and she raised the bed a bit so I could sit up. I looked at Maria.

"Why is it hard to breathe? Why can't I sit up?"

"You will be able to after the anesthesia clears up some more."

"But why is it hard to breathe? I feel like I've got an elephant on my chest." I groaned a bit as I tried to adjust myself in the bed.

"Your implants are very large, and they are heavy."

This took a second to process. I looked down and all I saw was this wall of bandages. It took a second to realize what I was looking at. It was my breasts. They were gigantic, like they were big before but now, holy hell! I wasn't sitting all the way up and I couldn't see my knees, all I could see were my feet.

"Holy fuck! Why are there so many bandages?"

"All that isn't bandages." I heard my surgeon say as he walked around the corner to check on me.

"What!? Are you serious?"

"Yes, I took your expanders out and put saline implants in that, as you asked for are, as big as medically safe."

"Holy shit really!? Are they really this big!?" I asked almost in a panic.

"Yes Sarah, I went as large as I felt was safe, liked you asked me to." He said with a slight twinge of fear, probably because of a malpractice suit seemed like it was impending.

"Yes but, Jesus! How big did you make them? Why is it hard to breathe?" I asked through labored breathing.

"Well you had 3500CCs in the expanders and I used them to gauge the implants volume. You ended up with 5000CCs on each side. With the high profile implants so they should have the look you wanted after they heal up."

"Fucking hell that's what about 1/3 increase!?" I groggily panicked. "And the labored breathing?"

"It's just the weight of the implants. You will get used to it and once your muscles have had a chance to adjust to the weight, breathing should feel normal again in probably 4-6 weeks."

"The weight..." I trailed off waiting for the answer.

"About 15.5 lbs."

"EACH!?" I almost shrieked.

"NO, no, no, total." he laughed.

I wasn't laughing though. I mean I love having really big breasts but damn. I laid down flat again and tried to get an idea on what I had gotten myself into here. I was still numbed up so I took a couple of deep breaths and it was definitely noticeable that inhaling wasn't as easy as previously. I guess because I never had added that much weight at one time with my expanders it made sense. I noticed it ever so slightly with the expanders over the almost 2 years I'd had them.

Maria helped me to her car. She had to help me get sat down and the seat belt put on. I swear I thought the seat belt wasn't going to reach around me now. It did, but there wasn't much more it could have gone around. Maria took the shoulder strap and pulled it to the side, considering. As she closed her car door it pull handle on the inside hit my right breast and that hurt through the anesthesia. But faded quickly, as I noticed that sitting there in her car, my right breast rubbed the passenger door.

Holy fuck I thought! Maybe this wasn't as good an idea as I had hoped. The ride home was uneventful except I could feel every last tiny bump on the road. Maria got me home and on the couch. She stayed with me for the next 10 days as I almost couldn't do anything. The checkups at the Dr's office went well and Maria started coming once a day, then every 2, then every 3 until I was functional. I was having to wear surgical wraps as there wasn't a surgical bra that would fit me.

When I got more healed up I slowly began to use less and less surgical wraps as I changed them out every time I sponge bathed. I could feel how heavy my breasts were. They were 15 ½ lbs, so I needed to not freak out when I got on the scale. I slowly stepped on, 145 lbs. I freaked out anyway, that was more than 15 lbs. Then it dawned on me, swelling. Having stopped my panic, I took a minute to look at them in the mirror, for more than a quick glance as I was getting them wrapped back up.

They were still bruised and a bit sore. They definitely took longer to heal than I expected, but the Drs office assured me that was normal. They were gigantic, I mean you couldn't see most of my torso because of their sheer size. I mean they did stand up on their own and they didn't sag so they weren't laying on my front like saggy mail bags. I was glad that I still had that nice under-boob that stopped at my torso so it was very obvious that I wasn't fat. Standing there looking in the mirror I was happy that you could at least see my navel and most of my abs, I then noticed that with my arms at my sides my breasts completely obscured them. I couldn't see my arms at all unless I moved them out to the sides about 2". This was crazy, I mean I never expected these.

I spent the next few weeks working from home and taking time off from the gym. As I gradually healed up the bruising went away, the stitches dissolved and I was able to shower again. Looking in the mirror now the swelling had gone down and they didn't look so angry. And while they still completely covered my arms when by my side, it was only by maybe 1" now that the swelling had gone down. I headed for the shower, after weeks of sponge baths I was so ready for a shower.

The master bathroom had a stand up shower only as it was right across from the toilet in the corner. I opened the door and started running the hot water. I sat there marveling at my breasts that were obviously bigger than my head. Running my hands over them the expanse of skin was huge, My nipples weren't painful which I was really happy about. I noticed that my nipples hadn't stretched almost at all, they were still rather flat nipples, they stood up just a bit so you could see their outline under a thin shirt, but the areolas were still about the size of a quarter and still centered. They really did look fantastic despite being like beachballs.

Adjusting the hot water I went to get in the shower. And I hit my breasts on both sides of the door at the same time. My breasts were wider than my shower door. Granted it's not that big of a door, but still. I turned sideway and was going to just side step my way in, but even with my back touching the door, they stuck out further than the door was wide. I never expected this! I tried pressing them flatter but that still hurt. I ended up facing the door and squeezing them together and then getting in the shower.

Taking a shower was a new ordeal as well. My breasts took up more room than I did. With my back against the wall of the shower, there was maybe a foot of clearance in front of me. That sounds like plenty of room, until you remember that my back is pressed against the far shower wall. So now that is about 6" of space. I managed to take my shower, I bent over to wash my feet and I couldn't bend over like I used to. I could reach my feet but it squished my breasts out everywhere, and I was still sore. I couldn't see under my breasts I had to wash my torso by feel.

Then I started to wash my hair. I turned around and my left breast hit the shower door and bumped it open. Splashing a bit of water on the floor. I reached over and closed the door. That was something else I was going to need to master. I have to turn with my back almost against the far wall of the shower now or I will pop the door open.

After figuring out how to shower I got dried off and went to put the towel around me like a robe. I could no longer get the towel all the way around me. It went around me and it now stopped not quite to my right nipple. Ok, another thing I didn't expect was to need to buy beach towels to wrap a towel around me. I went to put on shorts and I almost fell forward because I wasn't used to the weight. Then was the search for a shirt that would fit over me. I expected my wardrobe to be a bit tighter, which was fine by me, but I didn't expect to not be able to wear almost all my tops! I couldn't find anything that I could stretch over my giant breasts. The things I could get stretched over them I couldn't pull down far enough to cover them. Most wouldn't even cover them to the nipples. I felt a bit of eroticism but more aggravation and frustration. I finally found an old sweat shirt that I used to wear in the winter time before I moved to LA. That at least fit over them, as it was a 3X. But it just hung off the fronts of them like a drape.

I headed down the hall to the kitchen to get something to eat. As I walked past the lamp on the end of the couch my right breast caught it and sent it crashing to the floor. My breasts just cost me about $100. Not counting the glasses weeks before. After cleaning that mess up I went about my day.

Intending to go see Rose as soon as I could I started thinking about spending about $2000 on bras. At least that was expected. I decided to go to the store and drive myself for the first time in weeks. I grabbed my purse, now having to turn sideways just a bit to see the table I sat it on. I went down to my car and opened the door. I sat down and began to turn to my right to get in, then my right breast hit the horn. Ok, another thing I didn't expect. Moving the seat back almost as far as it would go I got my giant tits packed into my little sports car. Sitting there I didn't feel like there was room for me in there at the same time. Driving was different as well. To get my hands on the wheel I was hugging my breasts with my forearms. They squeezed together rather nicely I remember thinking as I drove to the store.

Getting parked I found a spot and parked as I always did. I grabbed my shopping bag and opened my drivers side door. There was a car next to me and I could only open the door a little under half way. As I turned my breasts got jammed together between the door and the car. I backed up and tried to slide sideways out of the door, but I couldn't get even 1 breast squeezed out of the partially open car door, as they were still a little sore. I just turned back into my seat, closed the door and just sat there looking at my steering wheel, or at least what I could see of it with my gigantic breasts in the way. Then I started to cry. I can't even get out of my car because of these stupid things. Now that I thought about it I actually am disfigured, I am technically disfigured. I kept thinking as I cried with my tears landing on the sweat shirt and soaking in to the huge plane of material that it took to get these things covered. Looking down at the material I thought, "I'm going to have to order my clothes by the acre."

I sat there crying for probably 10 minutes. I kept telling myself that this is what I asked for of my own free will. It still didn't change the fact that I didn't expect it. I looked at my watch, and headed to the bra store to see Rose. I got there and she was with another customer, and waived at me over the clothing racks. I looked at a few things, many of which were really pretty but there was no way in hell they would fit, even before this they wouldn't. At least I'd already made peace with that.

Rose finished up and headed my way with a smile. "So it's been a few weeks, How'd it go, did you heal up ok?"

"Yes I healed up well enough, but..." I trailed off as she rounded the clothing display that you could only see my head over the top of.

As she came around and looked at me she made a very audible gasp, coupled with a look of shock and disbelief. "Ummmm..." was all that she said for a few seconds.

"Sarah honey, did you ask for breasts this large?"

"Well funny story. I may not have been in the best of moods and a bit impulsive. I probably shouldn't have scheduled this until I had some time to calm down with the divorce, and the rest of it. Technically I did ask for 'As big as is medically safe.'"

"Well it seems that you are a pretty safe girl, now doesn't it." Rose said with a smile.

I was happy to hear her say that as supportive as she was. "I guess so." I laughed.

"Ok lets get you in a dressing room and see what we can do."

The dressing rooms were pretty small but Rose and I always managed to stand in them comfortably.

This time Rose was halfway out in the center walk. She gently suggested that we move to the handicapped dressing room. In there it was much easier to move around.