Satisfied With Love Ch. 12

"Here, we also use hugs but you should not start with hugs. I have learned that a hug is a universal healer, thanks to Brad. After he mentioned it, I remembered from my younger years with my family, but never thought to apply hugs to my professional career. Now, I do. It makes people feel good. In many cases, it helps heal the emotional pain associated with problems people face. Everyone I have observed likes affection. It makes people feel better, especially if it comes from the boss."

"Be conscious of your employees. Look at them as an asset. Don't play the blame game. If you make a mistake, own it and admit it. Leaders are not perfect and will make mistakes too. You will be a team with them soon so treat them as a team even though you have not actually built one yet. If one member of the team comes up short, the team comes up short."

"Don't expect a team until you have established a good relationship with each member. You build a team, not create or assign people to it. Building a team is based on relationships. It is not a 'snap your fingers and you have a team' kinda thing. If you give your future team members hi-fives or hugs or both, or most any other accolade, I can almost guarantee you will have a successful team."

"If you yell at your employees, under any circumstance, you will end up shooting yourself in the foot. It is counter productive. Praise them in public. Replace discipline with training, as much as feasible. Yes, there will be employees that will not get on board. At some point, you will have to make a decision about their future at Packard Records."

"Talk with them before firing them. Get into their heads and find out what's going on. Ask them the tough personal questions. Help them if you can. Treat every employee as an asset, not a liability."

"Do not lie to your team, or anyone else. It will start a distrust with them and your team will take a downward plunge which may be unrecoverable. News of something like this spreads rapidly. Brad has no problems telling his team why he does things. I am glad he does because it reveals his inner person. You should also take that into consideration."

"I also need to point out the relationship you have with your team may not be the same as the relationship the Packard team shares so it is not in your best interest to compare yours to ours. We live together on this Island and we are on call 24/7. You, on the other hand, will see each other at work with only occasional interactions outside work. However, your attitude will be very much the same. The Packard team is happy and proud to work for the Packard Empire and so will you, eventually. Just guessing though."

"Have you heard anything so far you did not know before you got here?" Kristi asks with high hopes for a yes answer.

"Absolutely Kristi. But it sounds like common sense, yet we don't do it the way you describe," Larry said.

"It is common sense if you think about it, but I need say more about accolades. Every person appreciates recognition for what they do, however small. They sit dreaming about being recognized, especially by the boss. Accolades are very important to a team. The more you give, the stronger the team. The power of hi-fives and hugs, for me, is one of those things in your head that wakes up when triggered. Brad triggered them for me and I learned most about them from him. I have learned, from my own experience, they are a very powerful tool."

"I have heard enough to agree with your early assessment. I wish to complete your training. Sandi and Helen, what about you?" Larry said.

Both agree.

"One question before you continue Kristi. If you and Brad did not have the relationship you share with each other, would you still be willing to talk about everything and tell him anything?"

"Yes Larry. It is important to be able to communicate with one another. Without that ability, you have no team..."

"I'm sorry Kristi. That was a dumb question. I should have known the answer and should not have asked," he said, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Helen, the questions Brad asked you in the office that day were from his experience with his team, the ones he asked you not to answer. Do you remember them?"

"Actually, I do Kristi. He asked us if giving his staff a hug made them feel bad; did it make them feel guilty about being scared; if they did not appreciate his effort to help ease their tension and; did his staff hate him for giving them a hug. Then he said the obvious answer is yes."

"I could see the hurt in both you and Jeni. You looked like he ripped the life right out of you, or told the lie of the century. Both of you responded instantly and challenged him."

"After Brad made you laugh, gave you a hug, apologized and explained, your emotions changed immediately. I was favorably impressed. It was an eye opener for me. If it was rehearsed, it was played perfectly," Helen said and is surprised at her own memory.

"You have a very good memory, Helen. Did you answer those questions yourself as he asked them?" Kristi asks.

"I did, actually."

"Did you answer no to each one?"

"I did and even I was shocked when he said the obvious answer is yes. I thought for a second he should not have said that. I knew he was wrong."

"Did it make you feel bad as well?"

"It did," Helen said lowering her voice.

"Did you wish you were getting a hug?"

Helen blushes and pauses.

"Yes, Kristi, I actually did," she said, her face turning red.

"I'm sorry Helen. I did not mean to embarrass you."

"I know, Kristi. You made your point in a way that resonates with me so I would completely understand it. I don't blame you for doing that. I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes. It's a good training tool."

"Then you know it was not rehearsed. You felt and reacted the exact same way Jeni and I did. There was no time to rehearse this. Brad did not know Larry was going to ask the questions he did, nor did Jeni or I know Brad would answer with those words. He really shocked us when he said yes."

"I was hurt and so was Jeni. Brad wanted you to see the affect accolades can have on a person and he used Jeni and I to prove his point. I didn't realize what he was doing until he explained because I was caught up in my own shock."

"Does a hug fix everything? Absolutely not, but it is a major step in that direction. For me in that scenario, it was the fun, the hug, the apology and the explanation of why he said yes that made me feel better. The fun was important because it temporarily took my mind completely away from the hurt I was feeling, as you stated back then. It was a very smart move on his part."

"As far as Team Brad's relationship goes, Jeni and I are BFF's. I got her a job at the Packard Empire several months before Brad arrived on seen. We get along great because of our prior history together. Brad hired her as his personal assistant based on her performance, her interview and my recommendation. Both Jeni and I are happy he did."

"As for Brad and I, we joined forces about a week after he got here. It was only two or three days before we showed up at your door, Larry, so we were in the infancy stage of our private and personal relationship. Brad had not yet reached his goal with his team at the time we made that trip so he said a few things in that meeting with you that caught Jeni and I off guard, things he had not previously revealed to us. He does not want secrets between us so he spilled the beans in your meeting."

"Our private personal relationship was not planned, but it happened. You can't control who you are attracted to or fall in love with. That is one reason why the hanky panky rule will be removed from the rulebook. We chose affection to help with stress relief because it works and makes people happy. Humor also works and we use that too, especially Brad. Same with hi-five's and hugs. We like win-win situations," Kristi said.

Larry said, "What an education Kristi. Thank you..."

Larry continues, "Brad, you said you want your employees to be happy to work here. Why do you want that and what have you done to achieve that goal?"

"You don't ask easy questions do you? Give me a break."

They laugh and Brad pauses.

"Just kidding... I'm hesitating because I wonder if answering that question will do anything to promote relationship training."

"I understand your concern," Larry said. "Have you ever been in a position where you thought about what you want to know, but weren't sure what you need to know?"

"Yeah, I do believe I've been down that road Larry."

"That is where I am now. I just don't know what I need to know, but I also have a very specific reason for asking."

"What is the reason?"

"It will tell me the inside story of how you got where you are with your team and the details of how you accomplished your goal," Larry said. "I have been thrashing that around in my brain ever since you brought it up in my office back then."

"Well spoken Larry, but, what you really want to know is whether or not I'm lying to you, yes or no?"

"It will probably tell me that too," Larry said, "but, that is not my intent. I am dying to know why you wanted to do this and, more important to me, is how you accomplished this goal. The last two weeks has been torture for me because of that. I am so close to an answer it's not funny. I have been thinking about it for years and have not come up with a plan I would be willing to risk my job for. It is mind boggling to me that you came up with it so fast."

"The reason I want to know is because I want to make it happen at Packard Records. The employees at my company deserve it. I have been thinking about doing this for years, more off than on, though," Larry said.

Brad knows his reasoning matches what he told him before, but for whatever reason, he is still skeptical of the story behind Larry's question. Why is he really asking that question, he wonders.

"Okay, I want to clear the air before we go any farther. It is not our intention is to sit here and lie to you throughout this training. And, if that is what you think we are going to do, we should call it quits now and not waste the time."

"Nor am to sit here and lie to you. As I just said, I really want to know why you did what you did, and how you did it in such a short period of time," Larry said.

"Fair enough Larry... I can see a difference between the two of us already. We both saw something we want to change. We both thought about it, but only one of us created a plan and did it," Brad said.

Larry sat there and stares at Brad for a few seconds.

Brad broke the silence and asks, "What stopped you?"

Pausing, he said, "I wish I knew Brad. I'm hoping this training will help me answer that question."

Pausing a few seconds, Brad said, "I do hope you find your answer."

Brad already knows what stopped him, but decides not to say anything because he wants to know if Larry can figure it out on his own. Kristi also knows the answer and follows Brad's lead, saying nothing.

"Let's back up for a second Larry. Why do you want to duplicate at Packard Records what I did here?"

"Now who is asking tough questions Brad?"

"Bad habit of mine Larry," he said with a smile.

Larry sat there a couple minutes, thinking.

He finally said, humbly, "It's because I personally feel the employees of Packard Records deserve to be happy where they work. They are the smartest group of employees I have ever seen in one company. They have braved through thick and thin and they bust their ass everyday to get me my salary. I feel indebted to them in some strange way, but I will never tell them that."

"Perfect answer Larry. In short, you respect your employees. Even though you feel a little uncomfortable right now, I am proud you admitted it. My original guess about you is correct. You do care about individuals. Don't be afraid to admit it. That is something you should be proud of. It will also make your employees proud of you, if they know it. It will make you a better CEO and, it will also make you a better leader."

"Now, I bet you feel better inside, don't you?"

"I do Brad. Thank you for asking that question. Being honest with yourself and others does have a profound affect on you doesn't it?"

"Very much so."

********

"To answer your question," Brad says, "first, I have to say, I have been thinking about doing this for about ten months. I wanted to do it because it was me who wanted to feel good about working for a company. I was driven by that desire and thought about it many times. But, because I was not in any position to make any changes, it ended up on the back burner. I was just another pee-on in the company."

"Okay. This story will take a while, so settle in. This is personal to me so do not repeat this to anybody else, unless asked about it here on the Island. Deal Larry?"

"Deal," Larry replies.

"Deal Sandi?"

"Deal," she replies.

"Deal Helen?"

"Deal Brad."

"The reason I ask this of you is because the people who should know the answer to this question the most, is my team and they have not yet asked. I know they will, but as yet, have not done so and I understand why."

"Helen, you feel different here, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. It is relaxing. It does not feel like we are in a business environment. Even this training does not feel like business, but I know it is. It's weird, but true, at least for me."

"And me," Sandi said.

"And me," Larry adds.

"Good."

"Okay... Why did I want to make such a significant change at the Packard Empire? First of all, during my short tenure working in a business environment, I saw the way people were treated in office politics, myself included, and I absolutely hated it. I still hate it."

"Second, as an employee, I want to be treated with respect. All employees do. Respect is what I and everybody I know expects from everyone they know whether it is at work, at home or wherever they are, but rarely get it. There is so much hidden talent in people and most of the time, it naturally comes out when people respect people."

Third, a day after I arrived on the Island, I saw several people working a job. I saw fear in their eyes because of the three strangers who just walked in and invaded their turf. I know what that feels like and I felt there has to be a way to get fear out of the picture."

"Fourth, I discovered I have a brain, and I also discovered that I know how to use it. It's a learning process but it seems to be working well. Companies don't seem to want people with brains that work toward advancement. They just want the work done and in several cases, rightfully so."

"I, on the other hand, want both. I want their talent to shine and be part of them. Why? Because it gives them a sense of accomplishment and that makes them feel good about themselves and the job they perform. How do I know this? Don't forget, I was one of those people who did not get recognition for the work I did for the company."

"My bottom line is, I loved the work I was doing, but hated the company I worked for and that limited my enthusiasm for the job. Most people are happy at home, but not at work, so I asked myself, why can't people be happy at work too? There has to be a reason why and therefore, a way to make it happen."

"While I worked at the consulting firm, and for my own benefit, I analyzed what makes a great employee. All of those thoughts were soon passed into storage as I weathered the everyday grind at work."

"One answer down. Now for the how... For me, it started the day Kristi and I got into that heated argument she mentioned earlier. My anger level was so high and at its peak it clouded my thought process. As I became more coherent, I had no desire to repeat that ever again. I felt like shit afterwards. Kristi was trying to do her job and the only thing I did was give her another major problem to deal with - me, a naive, ignorant owner!"

"After it was pretty much over, I wasn't concerned if she, or I, was right or wrong. I was only concerned about the aftermath. Yes, she screwed up. She knew it and apologized. I expect that from her and all the staff."

"But, I also screwed up. I knew it and I apologized. I expect that from myself, out of respect for my staff and anyone I have to interface with."

"I also learned that anger does not solve problems. It only exasperates them. All I did was compound a problem and I regret doing that to this day. That is the reason Kristi got pissed at me back then."

"Then, a bigger question struck me - what happens going forward? I have no desire to be constantly mad at my staff, and no desire to treat them the same way I treated Kristi."

"My mind immediately went to my days in the office and I realized I did exactly what I swore I would never do to another employee. At that moment, I was more pissed at myself than I was at Kristi. As I realized what I did, I had to apologize to her. I was feeling bad about that the rest of the day. I could not believe I did that. That is what anger does to you. It takes you to extremes, barring any and all logic."

As Brad told his story, Kristi repeatedly squeezes his hand every time he said something that emotionally touches her.

"Kristi did not know how bad I felt when that argument was over. I did my best to conceal it from her and everyone else. It didn't really hit me hard until I went to bed that night and thought about the incident. I lay in bed not caring who did what or why. I felt so bad it literally took the wind out of my sails."

"To see the expression of hurt and fear on Kristi's face just ripped me apart. She was there to help me and that was what she was doing. I lay there fuming with myself. Visions of chaos overwhelmed my perception of my future because I was always mad at everyone. I could not handle it and I made a decision, right then and there, it will never happen again."

"Then it hit me like an exploding bomb. Out of nowhere, I was suddenly confronted with the fact that I am an owner of this large corporation and a leader of thousands of people who depend on me to do the right thing, whether I want it or not. It is a huge responsibility and I have to either take the job, and the challenge, or walk away."

"Obviously, I took the job and here I am. The reason I took the job is because of the challenge. It is something new, different and huge. My work for the consulting firm was getting mundane and I was dreaming about a more serious challenge... Surprise. Surprise. One dropped on my lap, through no fault of my own."

"Thinking usually gets me in trouble, but it dawned on me that I'm now in a position to make a difference about how people feel about the corporation. That was an eye opener for me. I am in a position to influence attitudes now. I can make the rules."

"I had to figure out how I can use that newly discovered company rank to make people feel better and make a big change in this company. I started with my immediate staff. I was excited. I can do this, I told myself, even though I had only been here for two days."

"I didn't really know anybody, not even Kristi, at that time. I also knew if I was going to do anything, I would be doing it by myself. It caused me to do a lot of soul searching. I was truly scared and I suddenly felt a lot of pressure trying to overwhelm me. It was the first time I acknowledged to myself I am an owner, and it sunk in deep. I had to man-up and be the leader the staff deserves."

"I began to think about what kind of boss I wanted to be. My experience level was rather limited and I had only two things I can relate to - my family and a short work history."

"Both of my uncles have large, happy families. I was raised an only child but spent lots of time with both families. They have fun, stick together and get along well. I have only fond and great memories of family. Family is everything to my Mom and Dad, and me as a result. This team lives and works on this island so to me, it made sense to think we should be a family."