Scales like Stars Pt. 05

"Nooooooooo!" Kursk screamed. "Fucking ramming speed! Now!"

Every last droplet of anti-matter felt as if it was being set off behind Kursk. Several giants were tea-bagging him, their massive balls smashing him into the chair. That was how it felt, at least. The needle of his ship plunged towards the demiship, which was still trying to bring its railguns to bear. But Kursk's ship and the other remaining Ouster ship both crashed into the adamantine hull with a rending tear. Every single pre-bought spell slot that the Ouster ship had left port with went off in the same motion. Ant-Carry was cast on each crew-member, to let them carry the sudden weight pressing on them as gravity ripped at their forms. Mage Shield and Mage Armor both flared to life, turning aside the impact and making the prow into something close to a magical knife.

And, of course, magic missiles kicked on too.

Kursk saw it on the screen as the nose of his ship thrust into a large corridor. Several men at arms who had been rushing to their positions were cut down by a sudden streamer of perfectly aimed darts of pure force. The one who managed to dive into cover before the spray was finished was screaming for reinforcements. But then the front of the bridge opened - as if the view screen had turned to reality. Kursk undid his crash webbing, drew his chain-saber and pulled his DK-Bolter from his holster, then leaped onto the demiship.

"Kill everyone!" he bellowed. "Every last fucking one!"

***

Relix was on her feet immediately. "Evacuate the decks!" she said. "Get the civilians to the storm cellar! And get me my sword."

"Yay!" Brash clapped, then leaped off of Merton's head. He shifted as he flew, landing on the deck before the two of them. He had shifted into a sleekly muscled, humanoid form - toned and strong, with human skin and raven black hair. The only clue he was a dragon was his golden, slitted eyes, the fine patina of scaling on his chest in the place of chest hair, and his eighteen inches of dick. Because dragons had a theme, it seemed. He pulled a tricorn hat from literally nowhere and set it on his head. "Avast, maties!"

"Where did you get that hat?" Merton asked, slowly, still clutching a pillow to his junk.

"Oh! I shapeshifted my palm so that it was holding a hat! The hat's actually my cells, but it just looks like a hat!" Brash picked up his hat, showing a very tiny filament wire of black hair connecting the hat to his scalp. "See?"

"...then why didn't you shapeshift to have clothes?" Merton asked.

Brash looked utterly confused. "I...those words were all in Common, but...none of them made any sense in that order."

Gunner, meanwhile, had grabbed onto Relix, frowning. "You are going to the storm cellar right now. We have less than twenty men at arms left. Each Ouster ship carried its own goblinoid swarm and the Ousters. They have DKs and chain-blades and power armor."

Relix snarled. "This. Is. My. Ship. And you're my people. And I will be damned if I let some space pirate do anything but die aboard her." She snapped her fingers, holding out her palm. A flash of magic surrounded her palm and a glowing blade of pure, purple light formed in her palm. She swung it around, then rolled her shoulders...and shifted. Her scales thickened and expanded, from the smooth snakeskin of her normal form, until she was covered in armor plating. Her wings actually folded back until they were gone, while her tail became short and stubby. Her muzzle lengthened and a pair of horns grew from her forehead, then fanned outwards, creating an almost samurai-helmet style look around her head. She rolled her shoulders again and Merton could hear the creak and groan of her armor-plates shifting.

Then, without a word, she started stomping towards the exit.

Merton looked at Gunner and Brash. Brash looked a bit chagrined. "I could do that, if I wanted too! The psi-sword, I mean. I just...haven't. Yet." He blushed, then gasped. "Oh! I know!" He leaped onto Merton's head.

Before Merton could say anything or do anything, Brash shifted. The tightness and heat of enfolding membranes slurped along every inch of Merton's skin, until he found himself entirely enclosed in darkness. Then a pair of pinpricks thrust into his ears and there was a loud clunk and he could see out of his eyes again. He looked down at himself and yelped. He was covered in gleaming scale and hardened armor. Claws thrust from his fingertips, and he felt a thrumming, pulsating strength. He felt the wind breezing along his back and his shoulders.

Hi! I'm ARMOR NOW! Brash's excited voice boomed in his head.

Firstly, Merton thought. Volume. Secondly...WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?

Gunner, meanwhile, was gaping at the pair of them. The rest of the bridge crew was gaping. Every one of them looked utterly and completely shocked, as flummoxed as Merton felt. But before he could ask any questions, the loud roar of something between a chainsaw and a lighting storm and the end of the world echoed down the corridor, and he could hear the faint cry of Relix's voice. His heart squeezed and Merton moved without thinking. He leaped forward.

And smashed his head into the ceiling. He rebounded, hit the ground on his scaled belly, then skidded five feet.

Wheeee! Brash giggled in his head.

"Ow..." Merton growled, then put his palms under his feet. He forced himself up - and that motion sent him flying backwards, shooting into the bridge. He yelped as he realized he was about to hit the front of the bridge - and reflexively beat his wings. Wait. Wings? The sudden pressure at his back stopped him cold in the air, and a wind billowed around his body. Merton spread his hands wide, trying to balance himself. His feet clicked onto the ground. But then the roar of gunfire came again. This time, he ran forward but modulated his movement. This meant he cleared the bridge in two bounds and was in the corridor a moment later.

The view swirled with a sudden sandstorm of information. Outlines flickered on around each of the Ousters that were swarming forward in the corridor. Health bars snapped up over each one and a haze of targeting reticules and sword-swing indicators. Merton saw Relix staggering backwards as a swarm of goblins - each one armed with a shimmering, midnight black knife - leaped onto her armored form. She spread her arms wide, growing extra arms underneath each goblin to fling them aside. This filled the air with goblins, and made Merton realize what he needed to do.

Brash! Target lock! Merton thought - looking at a specific goblin. The rest of the targeting data faded away and Merton saw exactly where he'd need to kick. His bare foot kicked out and he saw that his leg and foot were both black scaled and draconic. The impact of his foot into the goblin's belly folded the cackling creature in half, sending it arcing over to smash into the helmeted face plate of one of the Ouster boarders.

Look out! Brash thought, his voice more excited than afraid. Warning indicators jerked Merton's head down as one of the Ousters leveled a gun that looked like it was a cross between a crossbow and a lawnmower and a plasma gun. It fired a searing buzz-saw of plasma that shot past where Merton's head had been, the blade exploded against the wall behind him. Merton took a single step forward and punched the Ouster in the head, as hard as he could.

He had expected a lot of things.

None of them had been the Ouster's head vanishing like a soap bubble of blood, and their headless corpse flipping through the air, trailing crimson.

Merton felt his gorge rise. But it got worse.

He felt Brash's disgust and horror as well.

And both Merton and Brash got sick at the exact same time.

Which meant Merton went flying out of the Brash-suit's mouth, hit the ground, and skidded on a belly slick with lubrication that he didn't even begin to want to identify. Merton skidded to a stop right before the tallest looking Ouster - which still meant he was pretty short. But that didn't matter when one was naked and on their belly, and the other was in power armor, holding a roaring chainsaw cutlass and a pistol that looked like it fired entire swords out of its huge barrel. The Ouster's helmet was off, revealing an incongruously adorable squirrel-like face, marred only by a pair of huge, puke-orange orbs for ears.

The ouster grinned.

"The husband," he purred.

He lifted his sword. The chainsaw edge roared.

Merton lifted his arm, knowing it was useless.

The chain-saber came down, sputtering with smoke and oily fumes.

And smashed into a shield of crackling green energy. The impact jarred Merton's arm and left it completely numb. But the Ouster rebounded with a shuddering jerk, his sword groaning as the teeth failed to bite into anything. Merton stood, his lubricated feet skidding along the ground. The green shield on his arm was formed exactly like Captain America's shield. Complete with the star. He whispered, slowly: "When he throws his mighty shield..."

"A mage!" The Ouster growled, righting his posture.

"All who oppose his shield must yield!" Merton bellowed and threw in the same motion. The green shield flew outwards and smashed into the Ouster's chest plate with a sound like a gong. The Ouster went flying backwards and the shield rebounded to slap against Merton's arm.

"Merton, look out!" Relix shouted.

Merton turned and saw one of the goblins running at him, holding a hissing cartoon style bomb over her head, cackling like a maniac. Merton simply had to think his shield into a weapon and it transformed into a ray-gun. A stream of green light struck the goblin's bomb and the corridor between Merton and Relix got painted with a fine red mist. Then Relix was at his side and both turned to face the Ouster.

The Ouster leveled his pistol and Relix froze.

"Take another step forward," the Ouster growled. "And I riddle your pathetic monkey with enough Lethe shards that even if you rez him, he'll be a dribbling infant."

Relix's hand tightened on her sword. Her eyes flashed.

"Who are you?" Merton asked. "Who sent you?"

"I am the Pirate Lord Kursk of the Ouster Clan Smoke Jaguar-"

"Clanner scum!? Really?" Merton asked.

The Ouster glared at him.

Which is why he completely missed Relix opening her mouth and hitting him with her breath weapon. As her nose had steamed earlier, Merton would have bet money on either cold or lightning. It turned out that his first guess was the right one. The blast of raw ferocious cold almost turned his own skin blue, just by standing next to her. When the swirl of white and flash-frost had faded, the Ouster stood - statue still, his face still trapped in a quiet glower.

Relix breathed slowly out.

Merton smiled at her, then turned around. He knelt down and picked up a tiny, shivering Brash. The small dragon had turned into a tiny, almost palm-filling, replica of his quadrapedal form and was hiding his head under his wings.

"Hey, little buddy..." Merton whispered, caressing the dragon on his back with a single pinkie. He felt very soft right now. Brash peeked out from under his wing, his eyes filled with tears. He flinched slightly at Merton's smile - and Merton felt a sudden almost blinding level of utter and complete rage. It started with the very idea of Baron Bex Thresh of the Singularity Principalities being anywhere near Brash, let alone being a father figure. It spiraled outwards to include the entire Five Talon Empire for being a place where Brash would need to learn to hide his tears. But as quickly as the dizzying fury came, it passed, leaving Merton merely feeling tired. Instead of growling, he simply petted Brash again. "You did good."

"I-I did?" Brash whispered.

Relix - shifted out of her combat form - stepped over. She looked haughty and imperious. But at Merton's look, that expression shifted to confused softness. She nodded, then reached out to pet Brash gently too.

"Very, uh, brave," she said, as if she wasn't sure if they were the right words.

"Yay!" Brash leaped up and landed on Merton's shoulder. "Brash is the bravest dragon in the whole galaxy!" And he started to dance - while the men at arms came forward to start clapping the surviving Ousters in chains.

Even their leader, the dread pirate Kursk, was wheeled to the brig.

After all. He was only frozen.

***

"Errr. Mah. Gahhhhhhwwwwwdhhhhhhh!" Julia had said the phrase 'oh my god' so many times and in such rapidity that her capacity to enunciate, let alone speak English, was rapidly falling to pieces. But Brash had, just as the old XKCD comic graphed out, a cat-like ability to reduce human intelligence and coherence with mere proximity. Julia was holding Brash in her hands, and letting him floop from one palm to the other - something Brash was more than happy to do. He giggled and cheered as he flowed from palm to palm in that curiously boneless way that young kittens could do. "He's like a tiny scaled sausage of utter adorablness!"

"And apparently into soft vore," Trevor said, dryly.

"Dude!" Julia, Carlos, Lisa and Merton all said at once.

Merton's Mom, who had been watching Brash being petted and fawned over, blushed. "What is, uh, soft vore?"

The nerds all exchanged a glance.

"You don't want to know," Lisa said, nodding.

Dad harrumphed. "So, this is the famous son of Baron Bex Thresh, the dragon that he was willing to try and assasinate the entire ship for..." He rubbed his chin. "Have any idea what makes him special?"

"Oh!" Brash waved his clawed paw into the air, excitedly, starting to jump up and down in Julia's arms. "Oh! I know! I know! Pick me! I know!" He waved his paw more. "I know!"

Dad chuckled. "I'm not that kind of professor, Brash. You can just say so without me needing to call on you."

Brash started to bounce even more excitedly. "What kind of professor are you? A love professor?" He wiggled his tiny eyebrow ridges excitedly. "Oh! Can I become a love professor?" He craned his head around to look at Merton.

"Uh..." Merton said. "Aren't you a bit young for that?"

"Dragons age at an extremely accelerated rate, then an extremely slow rate after that!" Brash said, cheerfully. "I'm eighteen human years old as of ten seconds after I hatched. Then I age at the rate of one human year every two hundred and thirty two million years as per the orbital speed of the draconic homeworld!"

They all exchanged looks.

"How can you compare human ages and dragon ages?" Lisa asked.

"I'm psychic!" Brash said, cheerfully. "I learned while snoozing in the egg. Then it got boring and I left! Hi!" He waved at them.

"Okay. Why such a big number for, uh, dragon years?" Merton asked.

Mom chuckled. "Well, it sounds like the draconic homeworld has a similar orbit to SOL, then. Earth takes between two hundred and twenty five to two hundred and fifty million years to orbit the galaxy. Which is also known as a galactic year." She nodded slightly.

"Dragons be old, man," Julia said. "That's hip street language."

"No it's not," Lisa said, frowning.

"True, I worked in data entry, I have no idea what street is," Julia said, giggling, then leaned forward to mash her face against Brash's side. "He's. So. Freaking. Cute!"

Brash started to vibrate excitedly. "I'm cute!"

"Yesssssssss!" Julia started to pet him all over again.

Merton was about to ask more questions when the door to the room opened. Relix entered, dressed in her finest robes. She walked forward, opened her mouth - about to say something to Merton. Then she stopped as she saw Brash looking up at her with huge puppy dog eyes. Relix blushed along her muzzle, then knelt down and patted his head. Brash cheered excitedly. "Yay!"

Relix looked at Merton - and since she was kneeling and he was sitting on the ground, this actually meant their heads were on even keel. Her voice was soft: "The Ousters have been interrogated, but House Thresh did a good job of putting intermediaries between them and their assassins. Even truth spells haven't wrung anything out. And Ouster ships destroyed their own computer cores. We have no evidence. Nothing." She sighed. "Fortunately, we'll be reaching Hamin Yeltanzo's territory in a few hours. There, we should be able to examine this little bundle of...cuteness."

Brash rolled around happily. Then he gasped. "Right! I forgotted!"

"What did you forget?" Relix asked, her brow furrowing.

"What I was going to say. Oh! Right!" Brash nodded. "I was designed to take over the galaxy! That was why I was special." He shrugged. "But it's not like galaxies are important, unlike cookies." He nodded sagely.

Everyone in the group exchanged a look.

***

"So, Specy-"

The four armed purple skinned chick slowly turned her gaze on Merton and Merton's casual smile faded.

"My name," she said, clearly. "Is Spectral Timeweaver Compounding the Infinite. Gunner calls me Specy because he has no understanding of the insult inherent in such a shortening."

Merton gulped. "R-Right. Sorry, uh, Spectral Timeweaver Compounding the, uh, Infinite." He coughed. "What, uh, what do your scans say?"

Brash, meanwhile, had completed his third complete rotation within the scanning sphere. He was pushing himself in circles with tiny wingbeats, giggling incessantly as he enjoyed the scanner beams sweeping over his body. Apparently, they tickled. On the screen next to the scanning sphere, Merton could see a load of scrawling runes, as well as an internal view of Brash's body. It looked like a Where's Waldo picture of organs, with so many things smooshed into a single space that it was hard to tell where one organ started and another organ began.

The four armed purple skinned chick sighed. "This dragon has been genetically engineered."

Relix hissed, quietly.

"How?" Lisa asked. "Like...augmented abilities?"

"Augmented is putting it mildly," the four armed purple skinned chick said. She took hold of the side of the glowing screen, detaching a chunk of it. She unrolled that chunk like a scroll. It hit the floor - that was how long it was. "This is the genoscroll of a normal dragon, like Relix. This is her shapeshifting, this is her cryonic breath, and so on." The four armed purple skinned chick twisted her wrist, and the scroll wound back up again, hiding away the glowing purple runes that had been scrawled across it. She tapped on the edge, then unrolled it again.

This time, the scroll unfurled to the floor, then continued unrolling until it went out the door. The faint rattling and clicking of it unrolling continued for a few seconds.

"That's-" Merton started.

"It's not done," the four armed purple skinned chick said.

Merton shut up - and heard the continuing click and clatter of the scroll unrolling.

"Holy-" Merton started again.

"Still not done."

The clattering continued a bit more.

Merton looked at the four armed purple skinned chick. She waited a moment...then nodded. "Now it's done."

"Holy balls," Carlos, who had been sitting in the corner of the room, said.

"You can say that again," Lisa said, looking at the scroll.

"Holy balls," Carlos said again.

"Does everyone have to keep using such foul language?" Merton's Mom asked.

"Yeah, stop fucking swearing!" Merton's Dad growled, then laughed, then subsided as Mom glared at him.

The four armed purple skinned chick looked right at Relix. "He is a cross between blacks, reds, greens, golds, silvers, coppers, tungston, zebra, teal, yellow, astral, radium, and time dragons. There's altered DNA from the drow, dwarven, goblinoid, humanoid and elemental species. But more, there are genetic sequences that actually force specify his shapeshifting components. No matter what form this hatchling takes-" she pointed at the spinning dragon in the sphere. "-he'll have contact points for a wide range of magitech augmentations. There's pre-built slots for targeting arrays, plasma beamcasters, anti-matter bowdarts, spinfusors, bolt guns, vol-tech ray launchers, goblin spheres, death wands, hellwhips, shike catapults, long ranged anti-personal plasma missiles, tactical nuclear mine layers, and a water cannon."