Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

Billy only had part of the story. Granted an entertaining part but not the whole story.

Let's look around the restaurant and see who else is here.

Ah! Chuck and Amy. Married fifteen years. Two kids, Donna fourteen and Jim thirteen. He's a car salesman and she's a nurse. Together they make pretty good money. They are here every Friday night. I believe it's called a date night. They love each other very much. Tonight they will go home and make love. They are active in their church. Both donate to the local emergency food bank. Good people. Not.

Chuck's been screwing the receptionist at the dealership where he works for the last two years. He got her pregnant last year and had to shell out for an abortion. He's also seeing the organist for their church. Chuck is a real man. Don't believe it? Just ask him.

Poor Amy. Ha! She's been bedding a doctor at the hospital where she works for the past three years. Oh and she and the preacher from their church have been known to do more than pray together. She's had STDs more than once. She's also had to resort to the morning after pill four times.

Chuck and Amy each think the other spouse is loyal to a fault and feel some guilt. The kids know better. They know about both parents affairs. That family dynamic is going to change with a vengeance very soon.

Let's see. Who else is here? Harold and Maude. Married fifty-two years. Such dedication. He's a retired postal worker and she was an elementary schoolteacher. They have two children in their late 40s And four grandchildren.

Harold firmly believes in the old saw, a happy wife means a happy life. Anything Maude tells him to do he does and does it with a smile. They have only had sex ten times in their marriage. That was so Maude could get pregnant. What she told him was that sex is only for procreation. Her idea not his. She has feelings for him but she has never loved him.

The love of Maude's life is Sarah their neighbor. It's been an ongoing affair for 40 years. She only married Harold for the financial stability and to have children. She treats him well but makes him tow the line. Harold has no idea about Maude's extracurricular activity. Fat, dumb and happy I guess.

Moving on we find Bill and Julie, newlyweds. He's a freshly minted attorney and she's an auditor for an accounting firm.

Not a lot to say here except Bill cheated on Julie at his bachelor party with a female stripper and will soon find out he has AIDS.

No worries. Julie cheated at her bachelorette party with a male stripper and is pregnant by him.

Should be a fun next few months.

Andy and Beth. This is their second date. They both were burned pretty bad in their previous relationships. As a result both have trust issues. They are both twenty-nine.

Andy's story is his fiancé left him at the alter to run off with the best man. Ouch! Until Beth he hadn't dated in five years.

Beth's last boyfriend moved in with her then emptied her bank account, maxed out her credit cards and left for parts unknown. He is not believed to be in the country. She hasn't dated in three years.

They both seem to understand the risks. I hold out hope for them.

Then there's Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice. Two friendly couples sitting together. They are all swingers and all are bisexual. I count ten different possible combinations. Eleven if you count the foursome.

Bob and Carol are married to each other as are Ted and Alice. It's unfortunate they will all wind up separating by September. Between jealousy, backstabbing and outside influences the foursome will fall apart.

Here comes Sam, the bartender. He'll fix you a drink, listen to your problems and give you a warm smile. He is a very good bartender. He also thinks most of the people here are scum of the earth regardless of how much they earn. This is a job and because he's good at it he earns more in tips than the salary he's paid. He is always a gentleman and never flirts. It might interfere with the tips. He loves his wife and kids and his wife thinks he hung the moon. I like Sam.

Well now, there come Jerry and Paula. Both are approaching 40. Jerry's a hardworking banker. His employer loves him. Jerry is very dedicated to his job. Paula is also dedicated just not to Jerry. She doesn't work and they have no children. Paula is dedicated to their neighbor's nineteen year old son, Mike. Mike would love to run away with Paula and make love to her all day every day. He could never afford her. Paula loves Mike's energy and passion. She will string him along until she tires of him then trade him in for a newer model. This situation will come to a violent end when she does. Jerry will be devastated.

I see Daniel and Phillip. They have been together for seventeen years. They are as in love now as they were when they met. The problem is Phil never met a credit card he couldn't max out. They each make north of $200k but live paycheck to paycheck. They will undergo retail therapy soon.

I guess I should mentioned Kiki. The waitress. She's single, twenty-three and doesn't date anyone under the age of thirty-five. She is a lanky brunette with a beautiful smile and legs that go on forever. She has a girl next door quality but don't let that fool you. She is husband hunting. Rich husband hunting. She wants "Daddy" to take care of her. She has her sights set on Dave. He's 42, divorced and has a seven figure income. He doesn't stand a chance against Kiki. She will be Mrs. Dave by year end.

In a back corner, trying to remain unobtrusive are Matt and Sally. They are married but, not to each other. Matt married right out of high school and regretted it soon after. His wife makes his life miserable with her constant complaints. Sally's husband is an alcoholic and abuses her emotionally and physically. They hope to divorce their respective spouses and run away together.

Before you throw up your hands in disgust at the depravity shown here and my callous attitude there are things you need to understand. These are just a few of the people that will grace this establishment this evening. Most that come here are honest and hardworking. They love and honor their significant other. They love their kids and would die before harming them.

This could be any city anywhere. Some people are nice, some are assholes. Some will give you the shirt off their back and some wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. The problem is that unless you know someone intimately it can be hard to tell the difference.

So, don't be too quick to judge. If you look around and see a couple frowning at each other don't read to much in to it. Everybody has their hopes, fears, dreams and problems. We are privy to only a small portion of their lives. There's a line in a Joe South song that goes 'Before you abuse, criticize and accuse walk a mile in my shoes.'

I apologize for taking up your valuable time and bid you a fond farewell.

Oh, don't forget to tip your waitstaff. They work hard for the money. That's for you Donna.