Screwed by Wall Street Pt. 03

Screwed by Wall Street - Part 3 - Joan Discovers She Can't Abandon Her Persona

Chapter 8 - Finding a Home for the Foundation

With coffee in safety cups, we met Tony and Gloria at Penn Station for the 8:30 to Oyster Bay. Clyde and I had decided that a limo both ways was a waste of money, and we might as well check on the Long Island Railway, since it was the major source of transportation to and from Oyster Bay.

The reverse commute got us seats in a half empty car. I tried a bleary smile on Pat, who elbowed me. "Looking good, Erica. Are we putting down a deposit this morning?"

The five of us were turned out in dressy casual. The guys were on the tough side of casual, which was fine with the women. I was sure at least one weapon was along and wondered where it was. Probably under the linen jacket Clyde wore to diminish the bodyguard look.

Pat had been her usual efficient self and there was a seven passenger van at the curb. A well dressed woman in a summer print with dark glasses and a straw hat stepped forward.

"Good morning, I am Eleanor Swift from the Adams-York agency and will be showing you around Oyster Bay. Why don't you climb in and we will get started."

Pat put me in the passenger seat and took the one right behind Eleanor, providing introductions and a brief sketch of our interest in renting an upscale property for Erica's father Maximilian's business requirements. I asked if it was possible to skip public availabilities in the rental use space for that purpose elsewhere in Oyster Bay. Eleanor, who asked us to call her Ellie, gave me a sharp look and said today might be our lucky day.

In ten minutes, we were sweeping up a gravel driveway to an impressive front in a version of Tudor style without all the exposed beams. As we climbed out, she said, "This house is going on the market in a few days. We have the selling commission. The last survivor of a 19th Century steel fortune died last fall, leaving only three grandchildren, none of whom are nearby and want to live in it."

The house had been magnificent in its day, but was looking terrible from years of neglect. We walked through rooms with tall ceilings and blank spots where art had been hanging.

Ellie explained, "The heirs wanted the art, some of which was sentimental and some of which was valuable pieces by well known artists of the day. There was a large Thomas Hill mural of Yosemite that one of the grandsons who lives in California was very happy to have."

She went on, "We have had several appraisals done, and they are all over the lot, but between ten and twenty million. Not counting at least a million to update the utilities and fire safety. And more to restore the gardens."

We were standing on a back veranda with weeds everywhere. The view was terrific. This was a house you could fall in love with, I thought.

To Ellie, I said, "Will be hard to sell. Today's buyers want a movein ready property."

She gave me another sharp look. "You are right, Ms. Erica. If you are at all attracted to the property, the heirs would be interested in a favorable arrangement."

Everyone was looking at me, so I took a deep breath and said, "A million from us in a budget to bring it to code and current appliances. If more than that, the heirs cover it. Everything in escrow until all contingencies and permit approvals are sorted and resolved. If it falls apart, a hundred thousand from us in nonrefundable earnest money. Twelve million for the property, with five million from us in cash and the rest in a private twenty year note. "

Behind me, I heard Clyde mutter, "Damn." In front of me, Ellie was trying to recover from the shock of my aggressive bid. She extended a hand. "You've been the CEO of something, haven't you?"

"I am my father's daughter and have worked with him for years. He has no patience for long winded decisions." I let a little extra accent into my words.

We turned to go and I got a poke in the back from Pat. "Nice."

After we were back in the van, Ellie asked if we needed to see other properties. "I am happy to show you more, but none have the unique character of what we just looked at."

I looked at the others and asked, "Is there a coffee shop you could drop us at, and come back in an hour?"

She smiled and said, "Yes, of course. It will be my pleasure."

The coffee place had a deck, and Pat had the waitress take us to a far corner, to a nice table under an umbrella. As everyone was sitting, she gave me a hard stare and said, "Erica, you've gone off message already. We are supposed to be looking for a rental."

Everyone was very sober until Pat and I started laughing. I stood and high fived everyone. Gloria jumped up and crushed me in a hug. "All I can say, honey, is WOW!"

I sat down and looked at Pat, "What do you think?" Our drinks arrived as she was thinking. After the waitress left, she said, "Gutsy. You are assuming we have more patient capital than they do. Which I guess we do. Twelve or fifteen million doesn't break us, especially when we only have to come up with seven in cash."

I looked at Gloria, "Here is your first piece of business to negotiate. I will tell Eleanor that you are corporate Vice President for Property Management and taking charge after today."

She interrupted, "Erica, or whatever your name is, she is going to have a cow over a young black woman representing an Austrian industrialist!"

I stared her down. "Money talks. We don't know what commission deal they have, but there is at least a million in fees in this for them. That will get her agency over any racism that is lying around."

"I have another idea. Let's write them a hundred thousand check this morning and say it is the earnest money. That is, nonrefundable once we enter escrow. Then write them another hundred thousand check and tell her they only get to cash it if we close escrow in ninety days or less, code renovations included."

Gloria sat back and reached for Tony's hand. "Oh shit. You know how to scare a girl."

Moving over to leave an empty chair next to Gloria, Pat said, "This assignment is yours, right now. Erica is only going to smile and nod from here on out. You know that famous in-the-face Gloria routine? Well, here's your chance."

I looked at Tony and Clyde, who had been very quiet. "What do you think, guys? Am I pissing away the Foundation's money?"

They looked at each other and Clyde responded, softly, "You think faster on your feet, Joan, than most guys I know. Fixed up and dressed up, we can peddle that house for more than we have in it if we want to."

In exactly an hour, Ellie walked across the deck to us and took the chair Pat pointed to. Visibly taking a deep breath, she said, "I want you to know I almost got fired a few minutes ago. I went to check signals with my boss and he tried to take the listing away from me. I told him no, and that if he tried to fire me, I would file a grievance with the real estate board."

I glanced at Pat, who nodded with the same thought I had. We needed to keep an eye on this woman. The Foundation might well need a smart feisty woman like Eleanor.

"Ellie, my team wants to go ahead. Gloria Estevan here is our VP for Property Management and will handle the details with you. In fact, she and Pat, who is our finance person, will stay behind while I return to Manhattan. Given what you just said, Gloria is authorized to deal only with you, and we will put that in writing if you like. Before we break up, tell me what you think our chances are with the offer I described."

"Erica, the heirs are sentimental about this house. There are many good memories. But their uncle is gone, and the family fortune long since distributed. I'm not going to guess how they balance sentiment against twelve million dollars, but we will soon find out."

Clyde and I decided to stretch our legs and walk to the train station, leaving Tony with Pat and Gloria to work on details with Eleanor. I took his hand. "Big guy, it sure feels good to have you with me. And I mean your brain along with the body." I brushed his hip with mine. "Not to mention your brainy, gorgeous girlfriend."

"Are you chatting me up for a reason, sexy woman?"

"I just meant that I took a big risk back there, walking out on a limb with that offer. But it felt good, having my team with me. I'm thinking this foundation idea might actually work."

The inbound train arrived and we took seats. He reached for my hand and pressed it between his big mitts. "I don't want to call you Erica, and I don't want to call you Joan. What do we do about that?"

I used my softest voice, "Damn, the bodyguard has to have a special name for me."

After a sufficiently long silence, I said, "Lynn. You can call me Lynn. But it better just be for the two of us."

Chapter 9 - Best Laid Plans Go Awry

"Thank you. Lynn is a very nice name. There is something else I have been thinking about. Your fingerprints are in possession of the government, aren't they? Securities laws and all that?"

"Yes. It was years ago they were taken for something or other."

"So, if Erica gets in a situation, and the cops take her prints, your disguise is out the window."

I sucked in a breath. "Damn, you are smart to see that. Even if we don't break any laws, the foundation and the team could be in an awkward spot."

"Yes, especially if it unravels one of our operations."

I looked at his serious face. "You have a solution to the problem?" I touched my lips quickly to his. "That's a friendly peck. Nothing to get you in trouble with Caroline."

His smile was wide. "I think you need to find an out of the way place to buy a second home and apply to the local court to change your name. We will do a little G2 to see if we can keep it undercover. Maybe say it's related to the surveillance problem we have had here."

Back at our temporary office in the hotel, the action list looked daunting. Need to follow up on details of the Bali trip for the fake Joan and her friend. Keep plans for the Oyster Bay occupancy moving along. Find a corporate counsel we can trust. Sort out this new challenge with changing my name.

I grabbed the latte one of the helpers offered and sipped it greedily. A little voice said any more caffeine would fry my addled brain. Pat finished a phone call and came to sit by me.

"Do we have too many balls in the air at once?" I asked.

Her fingers massaged my tense neck and shoulder muscles, "What we have to do, boss, is concentrate on the critical path items. There will be time and money to solve the rest."

God, I liked this woman. Cool, confident, professional. I squeezed her hand. "Thanks. What should we do about this idea of Clyde's to change my name?"

"Like a splash of cold water, isn't it? You don't have a staff of corporate helpers anymore, and we can't afford to let the legal details get away from us. The press would love a scandal on Long Island. Or at least one they could manufacture."

"We are missing corporate counsel too. I don't want any old lawyer, and I don't want a New York firm with a hundred partners either. Do you have a smart young guy in mind for us?"

"What about a quick online query at a law school website for someone interested in public interest work? That's not exactly us, but it filters out the ones who want to get rich right away."

"Yes. Let's try Yale, Columbia and NYU and see what turns up?" I pulled her close for a hug. "You have such damn good ideas. Still ok about joining this crazy scheme?"

She hugged me back and whispered in my ear, "It is a simply terrible idea, I will have to beat it out of you tonight!" We butt fisted and laughed.

Just then, Tony called and said he was back and needed to talk to Clyde and me about security. I suggested lunch and he named a place he said Clyde would know.

Alexander's was one notch above a dive from the outside, but dark, comfortable and sophisticated inside. Tony and Clyde both knew the woman at the reception desk. Tony asked for a table where we could talk privately. I was introduced, "This is Alessandra, the owner's daughter. Went to school with us. Knows all our secrets." I got a warm handshake and a whispered, "Don't take any guff from these deadbeats!"

I decided on lemonade and the others went along. Alessandra raised her eyebrows, "You have dried them out?"

Tony was an immediate fan of the name change. "I know people who have done this and will ask around for a court location recommendation. The fewer the questions the better."

I asked about hanging onto the Erica name. They didn't look excited and I said, "I'm already tired of it too." Clyde asked, "What about a nice Italian girl from the Tirol, raised by her relatives here? Knows German from girlhood."

I seized his hand. "Clyde, the Calabrese clan loves you!"

Tony finally got to say his piece about security. "Girl without a name, we need to think about recruiting for muscle. We are only going to need serious protection once in a while. And those times are likely to involve operations going on."

I interrupted, "I already know what you are going to say. Our security group has to be people like you and Clyde, and they need other responsibilities as well."

They looked at each other, "How do we slow her down?"

I stood, "We need to discuss this over dinner. Shouldn't I do the honors at the suite in the hotel? I have been mooching on the rest of you."

They smiled, "Let Pat decide."

Pat would have none of it. "I use the cash from Alex for all the food and booze. And everyone likes my furniture and floor. Sorry no deal." We hugged and fisted each other. The off Broadway helpers shook their heads and answered another phone call.

The busy phones motivated Pat and me to work on details of the Joan disappearing act. I asked, "How are our women doing? Still want the trip?"

"They call me every day to ask if it is still on. Can't believe they are flying away the end of the week. BTW, Joan Middleton needs to be seen at a club in Manhattan tomorrow night with a handsome mystery gentleman. Do you have any candidates?"

"What about my cousin Antonio, fresh from Turin to negotiate a contract?"

"Is there such a person?"

"No, but the press doesn't need to know that. What do we do for an actual body?"

Pat's eyes widened as she exclaimed, "Alex! He is tall and handsome and will keep quiet about the plan."

"Isn't there a wife or girlfriend? He is as handsome as they come."

She smiled again. "If there is, she gets a new evening dress and a night on the town. She is your cousin's significant other. We don't need to say anything else."

We were grinning and laughing as Pat picked up the phone. "Alex! I have a special deal for you. You have been working too hard and need a night on the town, all expenses paid."

"Yes, I know you are behind on everything, but a night with the famous Joan Middleton doesn't come along every day. She wants to talk to you."

I took the phone and tried my best imitation of a sultry voice, "Alex, we are so appreciative of your help with our terrible situation. I have one more favor to ask. But first, is there a woman in your life?"

"Joan, I hope this isn't a vengeful trap you are setting. The answer is sort of. She is a resident at Sinai and never free. But when we do get together, the chemistry is perfect."

"Can she pass for Italian?"

"This sounds like a spy story. Actually, she is Hungarian. Skin like porcelain and a terrific tennis player. Could probably pass for Italian with no trouble."

"Alex, you have just become my cousin Antonio from Turin and she is your girlfriend from Budapest. Tomorrow night, or the next night for sure, the three of us are going to see and be seen in fashionable spots. Pat will help with reservations. Your girl gets a new outfit of her choice entirely on my nickel. If it helps, she spends the night in a penthouse suite with you, also on my nickel."

"You are sure this is not a setup?"

"Cross my Italian heart. Call Pat back as soon as you have a deal."

Pat and I high fived and smiled. I asked, "What about Joan's dress? What message is she sending to the curious media?"

She clinched with me. "Joan is getting used to having no job but a lot of money. She smiles for paparazzi and jokes with reporters. Her PA arranges an important interview for next week, which she so mysteriously will not complete!"

Pat was right about her furniture. I was slouched on the sofa when Tony and Gloria arrived. My new Vice President was bouncing off the walls. "They accepted! Hot damn. How big is my bonus?" The all woman body flung itself into my lap. "I love you. That was such a thrill. Ellie called me a half hour ago and said they are ready to go ahead with some minor conditions relating to preservation and family access. I said we would call tomorrow."

She raised her head and licked my lips. A low husky smiling voice said, "I asked her if she wanted a job. Is that ok?"

Tony pulled her to the floor for an incendiary kiss of his own, hands everywhere. "You like the fast lane, do you? Spinning twelve million dollar deals every day?" She squealed and fought in his arms. "Let me go, devil man!"

In my strongest CEO voice, I said, "There is a problem, Gloria. Erica has disappeared."

Clyde added, "It's very serious."

Gloria tried to get up, but Tony kept her pinned to his chest. "What's going on?" she howled.

Tony whispered that we were teasing and told Clyde to explain. The big guy took a swallow of his beer and explained, "Too many holes in the Erica story that reporters could and would find. Joan Middleton's fingerprints are in the federal and state systems. Even a minor incident could unravel the whole pretence."

Gloria grabbed Tony's bottle for a deep swig. "So, I have to undo parts of our house deal? What kind of a reward is that?" Her boyfriend's hand was creeping inside the top of her dress, which she leaned over and took a large bite of.

I frowned, "Gloria, that's what the big bucks are all about. Fixing your stupid boss's mistakes. If we give Ellie the right job offer, she will come up with a solution to why East Hampton Partners are buying the estate rather than the mystery guy from Austria."

I found myself being yanked to my feet and the dress violently removed, after which a quick kick from Gloria had me back on the floor on top of her. "Mistakes aren't free," she hissed, applying a hard whack to my ass. We wrestled ourselves to a tight quiet clinch. Felt good, working my muscles with the supersmart black woman. I kissed her quickly. "Love you."

She hauled me to my feet and propelled both of us to the kitchen. "Damn, I like working for you."

By the end of dinner, we had Ellie working as a field representative for the new nonprofit, handling all real estate related work, including finding a reliable and discreet lawyer. The initial salary offer would be for less than full time at $175,000. She would get to decide how to unwind her current work relationships. Gloria would continue to be the contact person and, for the moment, there would be no mention of the Joan or Erica disappearances. Gloria and Ellie would devise a story about the sale of the house that would suit inquiring minds in that gossipy village.

I was totally drooping and ended up wrapped in a blanket on Pat and Roy's couch. My PA gently kissed my cheek and whispered, "Enough action for one day, boss?" I squeezed her hand and nodded.

Chapter 10 - A Night on the Town Blows Up

The next few days came off in grand style. The night with Alex and his girlfriend Claire was fabulous. She had a great sense of style and the designer dress, a silk sheath in steel gray, was knockout. We hugged in the lobby of Alex's apartment and she whispered in my ear, "Thank you so much. I haven't felt this feminine ever. I'm going to sleep over for the first time! Will there be any sleeping?"