Seaman's Tail

Author's Note: This is an entry for the 2021 April Fools Day Contest.

Disclaimer: The following is a piece of fiction. Fiction (in case you don't know) means it's made up, not real, a bunch of lies. The characters in the story are all fictional too, meaning they don't exist. While non-existent, if they existed and had an age they would be over 18.

Kyle watched as the long white arm pulled the comb through dark tresses. The comb looked like it was made of abalone shell while the hair fell down in dense waves concealing almost all of the bare upper chest underneath. Kyle was pretty sure he'd caught a glimpse of her tits earlier as she got up on the rock. They must be small, though, if for no other reason than her lack of any bra. Disneyesque seashell or otherwise.

"You shouldn't call me a mermaid. I'm not one," she said, still running the comb through her now-drying hair as she sat on the sea-wet rock.

Kyle couldn't help but sound skeptical. "Not a mermaid. Seriously?"

She frowned at him. "Yes, seriously! Really, you guys are so insensitive. Do you always go around contradicting people even if they clearly know better than you what they're talking about?"

"Sorry. You do have a point." Also a tail, Kyle added mentally. The latter lifted out of the sea and splashed down again.

Kyle had been staring at the mermaid since she'd emerged from the sea, hoisting herself onto the rock next to the one where he'd taken refuge after his kayak got swept away from him. He had to admit it had been a stupid idea to go kayaking when he knew the weather might turn, but who would have thought it could turn so fast and the wind blow him so far out?

He'd managed to stay with the kayak for what had to be nearly two hours, but finally he'd gotten dumped out and wasn't able to swim back to the watercraft before the wind took it out of sight. It was sheer luck he'd found this rocky reef and was able to climb onto the largest protrusion before he'd tired out and drowned.

Kyle had a general idea of the direction of the coast. But he was also certain he couldn't swim that far.

When the mermaid had come out of the water he'd at first thought he was hallucinating. But he felt rational and awake, and it wasn't like he'd been out here all that long. So apparently mermaids really did exist.

The mermaid didn't have a scaley fish's tail though. Her lower (rear?) half was much more like a dolphin's, slick and smooth. The very dark green of that part contrasted sharply with the pale, almost bluish skin of her torso, arms and face.

"Okay, what do I call you then?" Kyle said.

"Are you asking my name or asking what I am?"

Her voice was odd, kind of a deep liquid murmur. Appropriate for a mermaid, he had to assume. "Um, both, I guess."

"You first."

Kyle blinked. "Uh, my name is Kyle, Kyle Aberdeen, and I'm a human. Your turn."

"Hi, Kyle. I'm Mrrrshaa."

"Marcia."

"No, Mrrshaa. Try rolling the r sound, and make the middle more sibilant."

"Maaarsha?"

The mermaid grimaced. "Okay, call me Em. You can probably handle that better. As for what I am, I'm a person."

Kyle barked out a laugh. She looked a little offended.

"Sorry," he apologized. "It's just that sounded a lot like things girls have told me at times I was, uh, looking a little too hard."

"No problem. I guess I should explain that when I say I'm a person, I just mean that's what we call ourselves, people. Sea people, if we have to spell it out."

"Makes sense," Kyle said. "What do you call people like me, then?"

"Land people, if we're being polite," Em said flatly.

"You speak awfully good English for a sea person, Em."

"Satellite TV and Blu-ray movies," she replied. "We get all sorts of things off ships that sink."

"I never thought about that," Kyle said. "How come land people don't know about you?"

"You do, obviously. You even put us in movies and things," Em said. "You just think we're imaginary."

"Okay, let me rephrase that. How come we don't know you're real?"

"Your ancestors knew we were real. If you don't anymore it's probably because you land people have such short attention spans," Em said. "And of course we don't show ourselves to any of you these days. Much too dangerous."

"Dangerous? How?"

"Oh, I don't know, let's ask the baiji," Em said. "Oh wait, we can't, they're extinct. Say, how about we ask the vaquita instead. Good luck finding one, they're almost extinct. Maybe the Hawaiian monk seal?"

Kyle waved a hand for her to stop. "Okay, okay, I get it."

"No, I don't think you do. What do you think would happen if a sea person showed up in front of a bunch of land people? If they didn't shoot bullets they'd definitely shoot photos," Em said. "Then what? Hordes of you guys in boats descend on the location. Some are just hoping for a look, others want to catch a specimen. A live sea person would be worth a fair amount of money, right? Even a dead one would, out come the guns again."

"Then the military and scientific expeditions arrive. Ear-splitting sonar, undersea craft and unmanned probes, and poor porpoises you've brainwashed into switching sides. You'd make our lives hell."

Em sighed. "For centuries we've had to make absolutely sure we don't remind your kind we really do exist. Not when there's any chance of it spreading."

A distant alarm bell that had started ringing in Kyle's head when Em first said "we don't show ourselves to any of you" now became very loud.

"Oh fuck. You're showing yourself to me because you know I can't tell anyone," Kyle wailed. "I'm going to die, that's why you don't care if I see you!"

Kyle hugged his knees and began to weep. Em slipped off her rock into the water, swam to his larger outcrop and heaved up onto it behind him. Her cool arms went around his shivering chest. "Shh, shh. You're not going to die, Kyle."

"I'm not?" he sobbed.

"You're on a major route for the whale-watching boats, silly. It's already high tide so these rocks will stay above water, and in four hours at most the tours will start sailing past," Em said. "That's why I'm here now, I can take time to comb my hair before they show up."

"But ... you said you don't reveal yourselves when there's a chance people would find out you exist."

"I watched you before I got out of the water. You tried your phone and it doesn't work, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Kyle said. "It's supposedly waterproof but I think it got banged on something."

"So you can't take a picture of me. Think about it, what happens if after you get picked up you tell people you saw a sea person but you have no proof. Do they believe you?"

Kyle shook his head "no."

Em laughed. It was a bubbly, almost gurgling sort of chuckle. "If you're lucky they think you got sunstroke and hallucinated me. If you keep insisting you saw me they may think you're insane and lock you up. Of course, neither one of those is the most likely outcome."

"What's the most likely outcome?" Kyle asked. Her arms were still around him and he wanted to prolong the conversation if possible.

"They think you're a liar, of course. You land people are the biggest liars on the planet," Em said. "I mean, orcas like to brag and a walrus can tell a tall story when they want, but nobody even gets close to lying as much as you guys do."

"Huh. I guess humans don't have a very good reputation out here."

"Hey, we sea people and the dolphins think you folk can be okay on an individual basis, some of the time anyway," Em said. "Never ask a great whale about it, though. All their horror stories have to do with whaling ships."

Kyle decided it was a good time to change the subject. "I guess you're going to tell me the whole thing about the Little Mermaid wanting legs is a crock of bull."

"What the fuck would I do with legs?" Em said. "It's not like I'm going to take a stroll out here. Now, I wouldn't mind having more of a tushie, I think that would look sexy. Not very hydrodynamic though, so not a realistic desire."

Kyle turned in her arms. Her face was very close to his now. Her lips were coral pink, her eyes sea-green. Her breath was a little fishy, but who's perfect?

"Uh, some of the stories about merm-, uh, I mean, sea persons and sailors say that they are, uh, compatible?" Kyle said.

A sly smile spread over Em's face. Her teeth were pointy. "All true. And we do have hours before any boats arrive."

Kyle leaned forward. Em did as well. Their lips met.

Her flesh was cooler than his, but just as soft. Kyle put his arms around her and they kissed more deeply. Her tongue was pointed and very deft.

Kyle pulled away, gasping for breath. Em gave her throaty chuckle again.

"Okay, confession time," she said. "One of the reasons I came out of the water was because I was hoping you might be up for this."

"God, am I!" Kyle said. His dick was trying to escape his board shorts by bursting through the front.

A hand landed on his erection, gripped it through the wet fabric. Kyle looked down and saw that the fingers were webbed.

"Let's get these out of they way," Em growled. "Fair's fair, I'm naked already."

Kyle eagerly helped her pull the shorts down and off his legs. They fell into the sea and began drifting away. It meant he'd be naked when he was rescued, but at the moment Kyle didn't give a damn.

"Mmm, looks tasty," Em said, staring at his cock. "Mind if I start?"

"Dive in," Kyle said.

Em wrapped webbed fingers around his shaft, then sinuously bent forward and took his erection into her mouth. Kyle groaned and tangled his fingers in her masses of long wet hair as she began to suck.

Despite his minor misgivings after seeing Em's sharp little teeth, he never felt them even once. Her supple tongue curled around his pole like a snake, an experience that Kyle had never even imagined was possible. The inside of her mouth was cool and wet, but Kyle's own heat more than made up for it as his cock pulsed and throbbed under her ministrations. A hand dandled and fondled his hanging balls, another cradled one of his buttocks, long fingers slipping into the crack. Em had tiny claws, which drew little lines of cold fire over the sensitive skin between his cheeks.

Em's head rose and fell, sliding on and off his dick. She released his meat from her mouth and licked down the underside, then captured it again with her lips and swallowed its length.

"Oh god, I can't hold out much longer," Kyle groaned.

Em only hummed in response, not removing her head from Kyle's crotch. Clearly she wanted him to unleash inside her oral cavity. It didn't take much longer before Kyle complied.

"Holy fuck," Kyle gasped as his cock began to spurt. Em seemed glued in place, tongue and lips busy as her human partner pumped his hot love-juice into her mouth. Kyle felt her throat work as she swallowed pulse after pulse of his sperm.

Even once Kyle was completely drained Em kept suckling at his now-softening penis, trying to coax out a last few drops of his essence. It was almost painful, and Kyle tried to push her away only to discover that, one, Em wasn't willing to stop until she was ready to stop and, two, Em was considerably stronger than he was. Must be all that swimming.

Finally Em came to the conclusion that there was no more nut-butter to be had and released Kyle's dick from oral captivity though still keeping her in his arms. He sagged back onto the rock and moaned.

Em sat up and sighed. Her pointed tongue ran around her lips seeking any last stray bit of flavor, then she swallowed. "Mmm, I was right, you are tasty," she said.

"That was the best blowjob I've ever had in my entire life," Kyle mumbled. "It's probably the best blowjob I'll ever get."

Em shrugged but smiled. "I like to think I'm good at it, glad you agree."

Kyle giggled. "I guess when you don't have, uh, the other parts you get a lot of practice with oral sex."

"Who says I don't have other parts, silly boy?"

Kyle propped himself up and looked at her, interested. Em took one of her arms off him and put a hand down where her crotch would be if she had legs. She began to massage the area, and a slit there Kyle hadn't noticed before started to enlarge and part.

"You had your fun, now it's your turn to get me off," Em said. "You want to give me oral too, or would you rather we fuck?"

The thought of finding out what mermaid pussy felt like was intriguing. "Wow, I'd love for us to fuck! But, um, after what just happened it may take me awhile to get hard again," Kyle said.

He continued to gaze at Em's nethers. The genital slit continued to widen, but now something pink started to push its way out. At first Kyle assumed it must be Em's clitty, but as more of it emerged that theory went out the window. The small tip was followed by a much thicker shaft which just kept coming out until the long, flexing organ was longer than a wine bottle and almost as wide at the base.

Kyle stared in shock at what was undeniably a massive penis. Two strong arms were clasping him tightly and possessively as he looked up into Em's glittering eyes.

"Oh, I don't mind if you're not erect while I fuck you," the merman said.

THE END