Seasonal: The Story of Our Lives

All characters are over the age of 18. The characters and events present are created from my own overactive imagination and any resemblance to anyone is accidental. This story is a little different in tone and pacing to my other works and is a bit of a cathartic exercise for me. If you are looking for quick and fun sex, my other stories are more suitable for that. If you are looking for a small, slightly surreal exploration of relationships, memory and moving forward that doesn't shy away from hot sex, then this is the story for you. Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy it!

It was dark. Dark and cold. I couldn't see more than a few feet around me, only the ice around my feet and the inky blackness stretching beyond it. My coat, soft as it was, couldn't seem to keep me warm. My phone screen shined brightly, too bright, and too harsh. There was a faint warmth from the phone, but it faded as each second past. There was something I was forgetting. The screen was fuzzy, words dissolved in front of me and blurred into swirls of white. I was forgetting something. Something I wanted to remember, something I needed to remember. Or was it something I needed to forget?

Darkness approached ever closer as the screen dimmed. I lost my hands in the darkness and the boundary between me and the black faded. For a time there was still the cold, a way for me to know my body still existed, but soon even that slowly dissolved. Soon, I forgot there was anything I could forget.

I jolted awake, my hand clutching the sheets, desperate for something to hold onto. It was still dark here, and cold too but at least my surroundings were familiar. The edges of my bed faded into darkness, but I could see the outlines the wardrobe and dressing table. My eyes had adjusted to see the ghostly forms of the furniture in my room but no more than that. The sheets shuffled beside me and a hand reached out, fumbling for my shoulder.

"Bad dream?" Came the mumbled, half-asleep question out of the dark.

I let my shoulders slump and leaned my back against the headboard as she rolled over besides me. I saw the glint of her eyes as she opened them to look at me.

"Yeah..." I said, trailing off.

"Of her?" Concern and irritation laid heavily in her words as she became more lucid. I couldn't blame her irritation, being awoken like this had started to become a habit.

"Yeah..." I paused before continuing, wondering whether I should really discuss it with her. "It was the night she came back from the club, with lipstick on her cheek...and neck."

In her half-asleep state she failed to hide her sigh. She knew all about that night and how it lingered with me. I knew it must annoy her for me to still be preoccupied with it, but I couldn't help it. It had affected me, shocked me, and scared me all at the same time. I had moved my life onwards since then, the woman laying besides me was proof of that, but my mind had not forgotten what it had endured.

She shifted more besides me and reached up to stroke my face, her fingers tracing over my eyes, attempting to force them closed. I let her. The sooner we both got back to sleep the better. The darkness fell over me calmy.

Then I felt her other hand brush against cotton. It was light, but decisive. Without hesitation she pushed past my soft shorts and dived under the waist band. Her fingers raced underneath the material, her nails grazing my skin before they came into contact with the sensitive flesh my shorts were meant to hide.

I looked at her, startled by the speed of the move. That glint in her eyes and a conceited grin looked back at me. I had seen that grin before, a grin of complete self-confidence.

"Let me make you forget all about her. I'm all you need to think about."

I gasped as her fingers slipped into me, then probed and pushed ever deeper, curling inside of me.

I grabbed her hand and flung it out of my pyjamas, drawing her fingers out of me.

She looked at me shocked and at the surprise and anger on my face. I was panting hard, but from adrenalin not arousal. It was just too sudden, too soon after my dream. My lips were bone dry and her fingers had been too quick, too greedy. I couldn't accept them.

Her face turned slowly from shock, to slighted anger and she rolled over without a word, clutching her hand to her chest, as if it had been burned.

It was my turn to sigh and watch as my breath turned misty. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to figure out why I had rejected her so forcefully. I looked around the blackness of the room as though the answers could be found there but in the dark of night, all but the silhouettes of furniture was hidden from me. The framed pictures that sat upon the dresser that would surely show the two of us in happier times sat out of reach. In the darkness, their contents were as black as the walls.

I rolled over and attempted to get some sleep of my own, hoping that I had experienced all of today's nightmares. Tomorrow, I think it was finally time to make that call.

"Then break up with her."

My eyes flicked to her, then at my feet shuffling on the muddy ground.

"I can't just break up with her."

"Seriously? Cause I think you need to." Her hair fluttered as she talked, reflecting the anger in her words.

"I mean the stuff you have already told me about is enough of a reason but then you give that reaction...? No surprise, like it has never occurred to you to break up. No 'But I still love her'? Nothing like that? Just an 'I can't'."

"We live together, I can't just...up and go. Where would I go?" I asked slowly.

"That's your reason? Really? That is an easy one. You call me and you move in with me. That's what you do if you want to break up with her." She replied effortlessly as if it was truly that simple.

I took a sip from my hot chocolate, the soft cream on my lips conflicting with the warmth of the drink that spilled out of my cup and warmed my gloves. We were in a park somewhere, but I was only really aware of the hard wood of the bench beneath us, and a single imposing tree ahead of me.

I watched as a bronze leaf freed itself from the failing branches and floated downwards to join many others. Just before it reached the ground it slowed and flipped over, hovering for a second. It was likely only caught up in a sudden breeze but from here it looked like that little leaf had deemed it necessary to hold on, to stay airborne, fruitlessly delaying its arrival that second longer.

"I dunno." I sighed. I didn't know, truly. Not what to do, or what to say to my concerned friend.

She let out a long breath and released some of the anger she had built up, acknowledging that it wasn't what I needed right now.

"Do you still like her?"

"Yes." I replied, a little surprised at my answer's immediacy. I did still like her, I realised.

"I still like her, and I still want to try and make it work."

She was funny, and entertaining. Creative like I was but unlike me she was driven and determined to get what she wanted. Rejection wasn't something she considered; it was an affront to her because she knew she could earn the right to have anything she wanted. That confidence was so attractive. She was an inspiration to watch and I wanted to be a part of her life, even if that meant admitting that I didn't deserve the place at her side she had offered me. Even if it meant admitting that I would only make her life more difficult, I wanted to make our relationship work.

The warmth of a hand upon mine, redirected my eyes to her. I moved my hand to hold hers, accepting her, the friend that always looked out for me. I watched her lips purse as they prepared to form words. They shifted about like dancers rehearsing, practicing the moves that would make or break the routine.

"You're a kind person, you deserve to be happy with the people you want to be happy with..." She said it, and I was utterly reassured that she meant it.

"...but you've already tried so hard. Maybe it's time you stopped. I'm sorry but you're the only one trying."

Knowing what to do, and doing it are worlds apart. They shouldn't be so different, but they are. With my friend supporting me as I began to sob, I mourned. I mourned for the past that had brought me so much joy, and for how temporary it was. I mourned for the future I would not see come to light. And I mourned for all the time I had wasted because of incision and fear. Still as her arms reached around me, and my warm drink poured onto the floor, I started to believe that there was a future I could still grasp with my own hands.

My tears blurred the world around me until all I felt was the mud soaking into my boots, and the warmth of her surrounding me.

We stumbled into the hallway, slamming to door behind us and a wall of warmth hit me. The house was just as hot as the outside, but still not nearly as warm as the two of us. Her touch burnt me and sent tingles all throughout my nerves. Her fingers ignited each place she touched, and I groaned as her lips licked along my neck.

The sun had stayed aloft for a long time but now it was finally setting. As it fell it pierced the small windows around the door and cast dim orange shapes over the walls. Even with the light fading around me I could feel the warmth of summer seeping into my body.

I kicked my sneakers to the corner of the room, and she flung the heels she had been holding to the same place. Hands now free, we grappled against one another and our bare feet slid over each other.

Together we rolled further along the wall and into the house until I put my hands upon her sides and held us steady. I grabbed hold and shoved her into the opposing wall, chasing after her as I did. The sound she emitted at my forcefulness was delightful. My hands and lips upon her, my knee between her legs, my body pinning her to the wall. I had her now.

I had waited all evening to get her to myself, to have time to ourselves. What we were doing all evening, and who we were with was a distant memory now, one quickly fading as my mind focused only on the writhing woman in front of me.

I felt the smooth velvet of her dress slide against my silky shirt, her fingers fumbling for my buttons and for handholds. I grabbed her arms to stop her then held them above her head, knocking into a picture frame as I did. I kissed my way from her lipstick lips down to the tops of her breasts that had been neatly and teasingly on display because of her daring dress' neckline.

She had worn that dress to tease me. Having not met up before -- whatever we had gone to do - her dress had been a surprise when I had arrived. I now wanted to discover what it had been hiding. She groaned as I licked the top of her chest before pulling down the material, inch by inch. No bra got in my way.

Soon her breasts lay bare before me, sitting atop the dress' crumpled neckline. The straps of the dress sat limply on her upper arms, no longer needed. I pushed her hands and body back against the wall but slid as I did so, accidentally crashing into the newel of the staircase. She groaned deeply and I extended her moan with a lick on the bottom of her chest.

I lapped my way around her breasts and extracted her delighted sounds. Her squeals made me giggle and soon we were laughing and moaning. I teased nipples between teeth and then sucked on them hard, but soon I knew we both needed more.

I pulled myself back, fast enough to catch her breathing heavily with her eyes closed. What a gorgeous sight. She quickly realised I had stopped and then with a demure look understood my plan. She stood before me and wriggled gently against my restraining hand. I released her to see what she'd do.

An orange glow slid along her, framing her in a square of light. It slowly slipped downwards, matching her dress as she pulled it gently down. Together we drank in the view of her.

I could have mentioned her lack of underwear, or her lack of hair, but I was hardly capable of words when looking at her. I noticed every fold, every curve, every glossy glint from her skin. I got down on my knees and examined her closely, so see the sticky, stringy lines connecting her thighs to her core.

I looked up at her, and she grinned. My arms were clasping her ass before I knew I was touching her, and my tongue was inside her just as quick.

She was warm, and wet, and fun. My eyes flicked from hers to her lips before closing. The world faded from around me. My vision disappeared and all that was left was touch and taste and sound.

The feeling of her, her hands in my hair. That sweetness so unique and delicious. Then those giggles and groans, shrieks and moans, filled the empty black void. Those sounds and my task, were all that mattered now.

The sounds pitched higher, her taste flowed more, and her hands gripped ever tighter. I felt her tense through my fingers, and I heard her scream. Soon I felt the flood upon my face.

The night was not over, but I told myself to remember this. This was what it means, to feel vital.

It was dark. Dark and cold. But not as cold as it had been. I couldn't see more than a few feet around me and my coat didn't stop the breeze but despite that I still felt warm. Beside my boots, there were small flowers pushing through the icy ground, showing that new things were soon to come.

My hands were still shaking but more from excitement than the cold. My heart jackhammered as I read. I stared at the screen as it shone at me, her words coming through the pixels. The world was fading around me, and I felt like I was forgetting something, but this feeling I could never forget.

She wanted me, she actually liked me, in a way that was all that mattered. I wasn't sure that it would work, we were different after all and I could see the warning signs clearly. But I wanted to try, and now I knew so did she. Effort would be enough for now.

The words on the small screen blurred as joyful tears welled up in my eyes and I typed my too hasty reply. I would rush towards her offer, go wherever it led me. I would chase it over hills and rivers. I would reach for it in any weather. I would follow it through the seasons, until I grasped it.

If in the end, I ended up back here, shivering against the cold and being lost in the dark. At least I would know that I had tried and enjoyed. Even faded, the memory would stay here forever, for me to look back on.