Second Chances

SECOND CHANCES

(Some dialogue may include Jamaican patois/creole. This does not take away from the meaning being conveyed.)

***

The cool Portland breeze filled the vehicle as we descended the hill into the quiet seaside town of Port Antonio. Our destination was just five minutes away now.

"We're almost there, love."

I reached across and gently took the hand of the love of my life. She squeezed mine in return as her gorgeous smile seemed to rival the brilliance of the sun setting on the horizon.

"I can hardly wait. It's been a long time coming hasn't it. But good things come..."

"... to those whose knees are knocked." I finished the quote incorrectly as always which elicited that chuckle and sparkle in her eyes that I had grown to love over the past five years. Five years... it seemed as if it was just last week that she had walked into my class, one month after the semester had started...

***

October 2013

"Please note that the mid-semester exam scheduled for next week has been pushed back by a week."

I rolled my eyes as the class erupted in cheers.

"But..."

"Sirrrrrrrr!!!"

I spread my hands in mock innocence.

"What?"

Nicole piped up, "Sir, we know how you stay already, enuh. You make it seem as if we have free time when you just find another way to pack in some more assignments."

"So are you saying that my attempts to help you all to maximise your time wisely and not waste the break and then have to play catch up with assignments at the end of the semester are not appreciated? I'm hurt!"

The class rolled its eyes collectively and I laughed. I glanced at my watch.

"Take your break please. We want to wrap up by 8:45 tonight and get home in good time. The weatherman has predicted rain this weekend. The persons who just joined us this evening please see me at the desk and let me have your pertinent data please and thanks."

I took my seat and opened my laptop to pull up the register. I put on my reading glasses, looking up with a ready smile as three newcomers approached.

"Let me have your name, ID #, email address and whatsapp contact please. We have a class group and I will add you as soon as possible so that you may get the notes we have already been through plus the assignment sheet."

I went through the motions of taking the information from the first two persons. Then she spoke.

I have never believed in love at first sight, the room spinning, everyone else disappearing, and all that love and romance bullshit. That is, until now. I looked up and felt as if time had stopped in that very moment and everyone else was frozen and she and I were the only two persons who existed on this earth. Honestly speaking there was nothing extraordinary about her. She was a bit on the older side, late thirties or early forties, a bit on the heavier side, but man what a gorgeous smile! Her skin was the shade of milk chocolate and she had dreadlocks flowing over her shoulders. Her lips were moving and all I could think about in that moment was what they would feel like moving under mine. What the hell! I cleared my throat.

"Could you repeat that for me please?"

"Amanda Green-Johnson."

"ID number Mrs. Johnson?" I glanced at her left hand and felt a little thrill at its bareness. "Or is it Ms.?"

"It's Mrs." She continued speaking and I continued typing.

As she went back to her seat, I watched the sway of her backside from my peripheral vision. I felt a warmth begin to spread through my veins and I had to take some deep breaths. What on earth was wrong with me? I was no spring chicken, that was for sure. At forty-five and married for seven years with a six-year-old son, I was certainly not in the market, nor was it my practice to look outside of my vows. If anything, Jason Harvey was known as one who would never give another woman even a casual look. So, what was it about Amanda Green-Johnson?

As the break ended and class resumed, I resolved to see Amanda Green-Johnson as nothing more than one of my students. There could be no other view taken.

***

The semester came and went like a veritable whirlwind and before I knew it, Christmas and New Year had passed. I marked assignments, put in grades, and then settled down to a very lonely Christmas as my wife and child had gone to visit her relatives for the holiday and I had opted to pass, feigning work commitments. If the truth was to be told, I just really wanted to be alone, though it was the holiday. I missed my son. Only my son. Things between Kayla and I had not been great lately. Admittedly it had not been great from the beginning but by the time we realized that we were better off apart, Jamal was on the way. So, being the honourable man that I am I put a ring on it. Sometimes I think it was the worst mistake I could have ever made, but the smile on my son's face whenever I was around made it all worthwhile. Don't get me wrong, I did not hate Kayla. We just both knew that we were better off as friends rather than as spouses. But we had made our bed and in it we would lie.

January rolled in and with it another birthday. I was now a ripe old forty-six. I thought I looked pretty good for my age still. My medium height and build made me seem younger. The only evidence of age was my grey beard as I kept a shaved head. I could still run a mean 10K and kick a football high. Age was just a number. I ate right, kept my body free from drugs and alcohol and exercised regularly, all key ingredients for maintaining top physical condition. As the new semester loomed, I was pleased to see that I had been assigned Amanda's group for another course. And speaking of Amanda...

As the semester had progressed, I had felt the initial connection to her strengthen. I simply could not put my finger on it. She had not missed a class all semester. Each Friday evening, I had found myself scanning the parking lot, breathing a sigh of relief whenever I spotted the beat-up black Toyota hatchback. I had wondered about her often. There were times when she had spoken in class with such a vibe and energy it was easy to sit and listen to her. I remember the night she had gotten into a heated and passionate discussion on renewable resources and showed her tree-hugging-fur-loving side and my heart did somersaults. I was a tree hugger and fur lover myself. It was so uncanny! She seemed to be the other side to my coin. Then there was one evening that she had been stranded as her car battery had died. I was the only one in the parking lot with a working jumper cable and gladly became the knight in shining armour rescuing the damsel in distress. I remember her clear agitation as she had turned away to answer her phone. The angry voice on the other end could not be mistaken. I did not know Mr. Johnson but instantly I did not like him. She masked her unhappiness well but I could see the light had gone out of her eyes.

"Trouble?"

"This dead battery has me running late for a pick up. Thanks for your help Mr. Harvey."

"Anytime, Amanda."

I wondered what her holiday had been like. I had sent out general greetings to all my students but it was her response I had looked and longed for that day. I looked forward to semester two.

***

My new class time was Saturday mornings at eight. I was not a morning person but gladly got out of bed as early as five just to get to class to see Amanda. I had long ago given up pretending to myself that I was not attracted to her. I was looking forward to seeing her out of her work uniform and in casual attire, and I was not disappointed. Her baggy overalls and work boots were switched for fitted jeans, blouses and slippers. Outside of her work clothes I realized Amanda was not as plump as I had thought before. She had a set of curves that would make any man take a few more glances. Her feet were petite and her pedicured toes looked ready to be nibbled. Her hair which was usually hanging around her shoulders after being under a helmet all day was now pulled back into a ponytail. This style highlighted her high cheekbones, almond shaped eyed and long neck. I was a goner.

But this attraction was not purely physical. One of the first things I admired about Amanda was her intelligence. Her ability to reason out a matter was usually on point with my views. I also admired her humanitarianism and love for the environment, again another passion of mine. During discussions I had discovered that she was just two years younger than I was. Oh joy! I noticed the motherly role she had taken on in the class and everyone gravitated to her for advice and counsel. She was my top student also. She earned her A's fairly and squarely and not just because her teacher had a crush on her. She had a meekness and humility that drew me to her and made me wonder what it would take to get her angry.

I was intrigued by her and had taken to trolling her whatsapp statuses to get some more insight. I had developed a sort of rapport through whatsapp texting but our conversations were always about assignments. I was looking for a break to somehow bridge that gap and create a window of opportunity for a non-academic conversation. I found a door in April and kicked it wide open. She posted a status update about stargazing from the verandah of a Portland cabin. I responded to her post and I can literally say that this is where our relationship took a different turn. Thereafter our texts were a mixture of casual and formal content. Slowly I dug and slowly she revealed and dug in return and I revealed. I found out that she had been married for 20 years but that she had been miserable for the past 15 and that the union had produced no children. I also found out that she was back in school in an effort to upgrade herself and become financially independent so that she could separate from and subsequently divorce her husband.

The semester came to an end in May and I went overseas to visit my brother. I kept in touch with the class regarding their exams and was happy to get their feedback. But there was one I longed to hear from. There was silence. When two days had passed since the exam and I still had not heard from her I decided to call. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, just to hear her voice. At that point I decided that come hell or high water, one day she would be mine. I did not know how but I knew It meant I would have to make some difficult decisions when I got back home.

Sometimes fate has a way of stepping in and placing your life on a trajectory you could have never predicted. No one knows why life happens the way it does and goes in the direction it does. But to this day I believe that my decision to have Amanda, who in hindsight I recognized as my life partner, set the wheels of fate in motion for what transpired in both our lives before the year ended.

Kayla and I left Jamal with a relative as we went to the north coast for our anniversary. I cannot say what triggered the argument. It could have been any one of the petty issues that had been triggering our arguments lately. Suffice it to say that at the end of that weekend we had decided that we could no longer pretend, not even for the sake of our son. We decided to part amicably as all things being considered, we really had a good friendship before we messed it up with a relationship. And so that hurdle was crossed. With bated breath I bided my time and looked for an opening with Amanda. Fate stepped in yet again.

One day during the summer break I happened upon a series of status updates -- you know, the kind of emotionally veiled memes that hinted at relationship troubles. That sent up my antenna. Amanda was in distress. Was this my chance to play my hand? I took the plunge and lady luck was on my side. Slowly she opened up regarding the difficulties of her marriage and shared a recent occurrence that had been her last straw. I used the opportunity to share my relationship update as well. Then I just bit the bullet and took the proverbial bull by the horns and asked her if she felt anything between us. She sent the blushing emoji and I laughed. And just like that the wall came down.

We talked and talked and talked some more. And the more we talked the more I realized that she was the one. I had not been looking for anyone or searching for anything as I thought I already had it all, imperfect though some parts of it may have been. But she was the one who I felt in my heart and soul had been made just for me, it had just taken us both a roundabout route to finding each other. We had to tread cautiously because of the obvious implication of teachers and students being in a relationship but her course ended in twelve months. It was the longest twelve months I had ever experienced in my life. During that time, we both separated from our respective spouses. During the course of the year, I had sent her an 'application letter'. It read:

Dear Mrs. Amanda Green-Johnson:

I, Jason Harvey, hereby apply to fill the soon to be vacancy in your life in the position of "Life Partner". I have had nearly ten years' experience in a similar capacity and believe that I have the requisite skill set and qualification to hold this position. I am a nature lover and animal lover which I know is one of the areas that definitely qualifies me for the role. I am also an excellent listener and provider and have a desire to retire to a farm in the hills of Portland, another necessary requirement. I also promise that I will love and cherish you for the rest of our natural lives. You will never have need of anything for as long as we both shall live.

I ask that I be considered for this position as soon as it becomes available. I await your positive response.

Yours forever

Jason Harvey

On graduation night, she sent me a response.

Dear Mr. Jason Harvey:

In response to your application submitted some months ago, I am pleased to inform you that the position of Life Partner is now available. Kindly see attachment as proof of the availability. Also please indicate if you are still interested in the post.

Sweetly

Amanda Green (no longer) Johnson

I opened the attachment and found a picture of her copy of the decree absolute. Amanda was a free woman. But there were still some hurdles to overcome. Whereas Amanda was now free I was not. Kayla, had suddenly decided to fight the divorce. It took another two years before I was able to send a response accepting the position.

Our first date was just for a simple drive up to Holywell. She had packed a basket with food and I brought the beverage. We spread out a blanket at one of the tent sites overlooking Kingston and sat on cushions. I did not hesitate to pull her into my arms and we shared our first kiss.

Gently I embraced her. I took hold of her chin and tilted her head back and watched as the lips that had first caught my attention so long ago curved in pleasurable anticipation. Slowly and deliberately I lowered my head. I felt her breath escape on a whisper as our lips met. Her lips were soft and sweet and melted beneath mine. I trailed my tongue lightly along the sealed crease and felt my heart race as they parted. Without hesitation but with as much restraint as I could muster, I surged forward, groaning in delight as I felt her tongue meet mine. I pulled her closer and reveled in the feel of her arms circling my neck as I lowered her to the blanket, covering her body with mine. Our tongues dueled sweetly even as our hands began to roam. The feel of her body beneath mine was exquisite and my little soldier did not hesitate to make his presence known and felt. She shifted slightly. The movement wedged me between her thighs and we both groaned. Almost of their own volition our loins began to roll, bumping and grinding against each other. Each thrust was reciprocated as our breathing grew ragged. Our mouths remained fused as our movements became more urgent. I felt her stiffen beneath me as she ripped her mouth from mine to throw her head back. Her shudder was quickly followed by mine as I exploded in my pants like a teenage boy on his first date. She trembled beneath me as my head dropped to her shoulder. Even in the coolness of the hillside the sweat beaded our brows. Slowly we got our breathing under control and managed to sit up. My pants were a tad uncomfortable but it was well worth it. There were many other dates but that first one was etched in our memories. Eventually I proposed and she accepted. We decided to keep it very low key: just the officiant and two witnesses.

And now, after five years since our first meeting we were now newlyweds of just a few hours. I turned into the driveway of the private property and brought the vehicle to a stop. I grinned as she looked ahead, a frown creasing her brow.

"Hun? This isn't Frenchman's Cove. When you said Port Antonio, I thought that was where we were going."

"I know. Trust me?"

Her eyes twinkled. "Always."

I shut off the ignition and got out, rushing to her side to open the door. She got out slowly, stretching her hands above her head as she worked the kinks out of her muscles after the long drive. The setting sun caught the glint of the rings on her left hand. A light breeze caught her hair and fanned it out as she tilted her head back. She worked her neck from side to side. I stood mesmerized, hardly believing that she was finally mine. I stepped towards her and feathered a light kiss on her lips.

"Close your eyes, my love."

Obediently her beautiful brown eyes were soon hidden from view and she held out her hand. I took it and led her to the door. This was my wedding gift to her. We stepped into the entry way and I positioned her at the foot of the staircase.

"Don't cheat. Keep them closed. I'm going for our bags."

She giggled, "Okay."

In record time I had the bags out and had locked the door and secured the alarm. I came to stand behind her and placed my hands at her waist.

"Open."

As her eyes opened slowly, I held my breath. Would she like it? I knew the instant she had seen it. I felt a ripple go through her.

"Jase? How? When? How? Is it for real?" she clasped her hands over mine.

"As real as I am standing behind you holding you in my arms, baby."

"Is it really ours?"

"Signed and sealed. This is my wedding gift to you."

She turned in my arms then, unshed tears glittering on her lashes. She threw her arms around me and buried her face in my shoulder.

"Thank you." A stifled sob escaped.

I held her tightly as she had her moment. All her life Amanda had shuffled from one rental house to another, from childhood all the way to adulthood. In all her forty-eight years her biggest desire was to have somewhere to call her own. We had spoken of it many times and she had often described what her ideal home would look like. No matter how many times the type of home and layout changed there was one thing that remained constant: a staircase gallery. That was what she was now facing. It had taken some scheming with her friends and family but I had managed to get some of her most treasured pictures redone and framed and they now hung at the first landing of the staircase. She lifted her head and her lips met mine. I did not hesitate. We stood there for only heaven knows how long, enjoying our first kiss in our new home.

Out of nowhere there was a rumble as our stomachs voiced their need for food. I gave her an abbreviated tour through the entry, living room and dining room, and made our way to the kitchen. I had already done some stocking during the course of the week when I had told her I had some errands to run out of town. I did not lie. We quickly rustled up a few sandwiches and some juice. We cleaned up and headed upstairs, hand in hand. This was a night we had both waited for and it was finally here.

I let her have the bathroom first. I could have used any of the other bathrooms but I had some things I wanted to put in place by the time she exited. First, I adjusted the temperature on the air conditioning to have the room just the way she liked it. I then turned down the comforter and laid out a lingerie set I had bought with the help of her best friend. I unpacked the essential oil diffusers and set them up in two corners and got them started with peppermint and eucalyptus oil. I placed a bottle of almond oil on the night table for the massage I had planned. I slipped downstairs for the champagne bucket and the chocolate dipped strawberries from Chocolate Dreams I had secreted on a back shelf of the refrigerator earlier that week. A can of whipped cream was added to the stash and I made my way back up. I heard the shower switch off as I entered. I placed the contents of my hands on a low coffee table which stood against the wall and straightened as she entered, swaddled in a huge bathrobe.