Second Chances Pt. 01

Here is the first half of my novel Second Chances. All characters involved in sexual activity within the story are above the age of 18. All my stories are connected within the same universe. All my stories are also protected under copyright law so please don't steal them.

Prologue: Samara Nicholson

"Why you gotta wear them flamboyant clothes?" my father asks. "I ain't raising no sissy."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" I ask.

"You know what's wrong with them. Pink? Seriously?" he asks. I shrink under his intense gaze. My father has always been a macho masculine man. A man the size of a bear. He could intimidate anyone. "Go put on something more appropriate. And for god's sake, cut your damn hair. Don't make me get out the goddamn clippers."

I rush back to my room and put on a sweatshirt over my shirt. I hate him so much. Why can't he understand, this is who I am?

He finally approves of my grey sweatshirt. My mother drives me to school. "You know your father just wants what's best for you, right?"

I nod.

"We want you to be a normal kid. We want you to grow up and become a good man," she says. The words echo through my mind. A good man. What if I don't want to be a man? What if I don't feel like a man? Deep down, I don't see a man within me. My appearance lies and betrays the person I am inside. A woman lies beneath the surface of my dark chocolate skin. A masculine veil only shows the person society wants me to be and hides the version that's true to me. My mother drops me off and gives me a kiss on the cheek as I head inside.

I hate school. I'm the token black kid and people go out of their way to bully me. Especially Tim, Joey, Clare, and their possy. The most popular kids in school. The rest of us are beneath them.

"Hey, Faggot," Tim says as he and his friends slam me against the locker and knock my books out of my hand.

He punches me in the gut and spits in my face. Joey has his arm wrapped around Clare and he laughs at me. Clare gives me a stare that tells it all, but her words cut deep. "What a sissy. No one is ever going to want you. You should just leave."

God, I hate them. I just don't understand why they're such jerks to me. The twisted part is that I actually think I have a crush on Joey even though he's such an asshole to me. Joey's eyes linger on me before he kicks a book away. As he walks away with his friends as he smacks the books out of Charlie Sheppard's hands. "Loser."

I drop to the floor, holding my stomach as I scramble to try to pick up my books, wiping the spit off my face. Tears fall from my eyes as everyone walks around me staring and whispering amongst themselves. This is a daily occurrence and why I hate my life. Every day I have to endure their bullying. I can't escape it. One day they'll see. I'm going to make something of my life. I'll show them!

Chapter 1: Joseph Shelton

"Hi, I'm Joe Shelton and I'm a recovering alcoholic," I announce to the group. They all greet me with the usual greeting. "When I was young, my dad died and that was difficult for me to accept. I kind of felt like that gave me an excuse to be an asshole. And I was grade A asshole. I bullied people and did some truly horrible things. I mean, things weren't easy. My mom married a bigger asshole than me. He and I would fight a lot. I got my ass kicked quite a few times and I was angry a lot, so I took my anger out on people in school. I know it's no excuse. I eventually started drinking to dull the way I felt. It provided me with an easy way out, I guess. Then after high school, things quickly spiraled out of control. I ended up getting a DUI. I lost my job and I got evicted. I'm surprised I didn't end up in jail. However, I met John and he kind of slapped some sense into me. He helped me get clean and he helped me get a job coaching. Now I'm about to hit the 5 year mark of sobriety and I've never felt better."

"Thank you for sharing Joe," Cathay, the group leader says. I smile as I fold my hands.

After the meeting the old man, John, catches me at the coffee table. "You know, I'm proud of you Joey. You've come a long way since I first saw you passed out in the ditch."

"I owe it all to you," I say.

"Nah. You just needed a hand to help you up. Ultimately, you're the one in control. Now, how are you coming with making amends with all the people you've harmed?" he asks as he fills himself up with a cup of coffee.

"I'll admit I've been pushing it off. I have found out that Dwane, one of the kids I bullied in high school lives out in LA. Now that Basketball season is over, I was planning on taking a trip out there to find him and try to ask for forgiveness," I admit.

"Good. Trust me, once you've made your amends, there will be a great weight lifted off your shoulders. Then after you made all your amends to all the people you've harmed, you can finally forgive yourself," he says.

"I hope so," I say.

After the meeting, I head back to my place. I purchase plane tickets out to LA.

Chapter 2: Samara Nicholson

I sit in my office with my media manager and we discuss our upcoming campaign. "Do you think it's a bit much?"

"Not at all," she says.

"It's not too pink?" I ask.

"No, I think it hits home with our target audience," she says.

"Okay, let's run it," I say.

"Right away. I'm glad you like it," Tiffany smiles. She's been my most loyal employee and a close friend. The only person that works for me who knows my secret. She's been here from the start. When it was just me and my brand had its first 100k followers. Now there's not a person out there that doesn't know my brand. Not a woman who doesn't rant and rave about my cosmetics. Just thinking about the person I was back in high school, constantly bullied for being a black gay boy, it all seems like a bad dream. Now I'm the most recognized woman in the beauty industry and hardly a soul knows I'm trans. I did it with grit and hard work. No one can take that away. Not even Joey or his asshole friends. To think I actually had a crush on him.

"Tiffany. Thanks for everything," I say.

She gives me a wide smile and nods. "Of course. You've been such a great mentor to me. I owe you everything."

"Ms. Nicholson," my secretary Kelsey says as she walks in as Tiffany leaves.

"Yes, Kelsey?" I ask.

"There's some random guy out here asking for a Dwane? He's insistent that this person works here. The guy's name is Joseph Shelton," she says making my blood freeze.

Talk about the devil. What the hell is he doing here? What does he want? What if he recognizes me? No... There's no chance he'd recognize me. "Bring him in."

She nods and a moment later a man with that familiar blonde hair and blue eyes walks in. "Have a seat."

He nods and takes a seat. "I'm here to talk to Dwane Campbell. His parents told me he works here."

Hearing my deadname brings back a lot of bad memories and my dysphoria bubbles up like a bad flu. "And what do you want with him?"

"Well," he says as he fidgets in his seat. "I was a complete jerk to him in high school and I just wanted to apologize and see if I could somehow make it up to him."

He wants to apologize? I'm surprised to say the least. I never thought Joey would ever change. To think all of the shit he and his friends put me through. Especially Tim, he was the biggest asshole ever. Although, no one could top Clare, Joey's girlfriend. She made my life a living hell. And now here's Joey, sitting across from me in my office and he wants to apologize. I'd love to hear this. "You know what. I can set something up for you. Are you free for lunch?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Where can I meet him?" he asks, sitting up in his seat.

I pull up my phone and look for a secluded bar that I never go to. I write down the address and hand it to him. I can't believe I'm considering meeting the asshole who made my high school life a living hell. Am I really going to come out to him? There's no other way to do it. What if he tells my entire work that I'm trans? This could possibly ruin my career. He seems so sincere though. Could he really have changed? Past experience tells me to kick his ass out, however I want to believe him. I had such a huge crush on him and I want to believe he can change. Even now he's still hot. He's even more rugged now than he was back in high school.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me," he says.

"Don't thank me yet," I say.

He nods. "Well, I guess I'll see him at lunch."

With that he leaves. I hope I didn't just make a huge mistake.

Chapter 3: Joseph Shelton

I didn't quite know what to expect as I arrive at the restaurant to meet with Dwane. I'm sure I'm the last person he expects to see. As I enter, I'm surprised to see the beautiful black woman from the media company sitting and waiting at a table in the far corner. I walk over and she greets me with a curt smile. I take a seat across from her. "So... Where's Dwane?"

She winces at my words. Then she shifts in her booth. "Did you truly mean what you said? That you're here to apologize."

I nod. "Yeah, why?"

"Then say what you came here to say."

"Shouldn't we wait for Dwane?" I ask.

"Dwane doesn't exist anymore," she says.

I raise an eyebrow. "Did he die?"

"In a way," she says.

"I'm not following," I say.

"I used to be Dwane, but I was never really him. I was never a boy," she says.

It takes me a few seconds to grasp what she's putting down. My eyes go wide when I do. "Wait a second. You're... You're a tranny?"

Her eyes thin to dagger tips. "If you're just going to insult me, I'm going to leave."

"Wait, what did I say?" I ask, a little confused.

"Tranny is a highly offensive slur," she says, rolling her eyes.

"Oh. I didn't know that," I say.

"I'll let it slide," she says.

"You know, you're really hot for a... a shemale?" I say.

She cringes. "Shemale isn't any better and that really wasn't a compliment."

"Wait... What did I say?" I ask.

"You told me I was beautiful for a shemale. Meaning that compared to other trans women, I meet the standards of beauty but I can't even be compared to a cisgendered woman. Also the word shemale means that I am not a woman, but a feminine man," she says, folding her hands against her chest.

"I... uh... wow. Definitely didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry. Really striking out here."

She loosens up a bit. "You came here for a reason. Let's hear it."

"Right... I... Uh... I'm sorry for the way I treated you in high school. I was truly an awful person back then and I did a lot of terrible things, especially to you and I'm sorry. You never deserved any of it. I was just going through a really hard time and I took my anger out on you and I'm sorry."

She tears her gaze away from me. "You really were an asshole."

"Yeah... You don't need to tell me that," I say with a little chuckle.

She looks me straight in the eye. "Do you know how much pain you and especially your friends caused me? I went through such severe depression because of you, your friends, and your girlfriend. I even considered suicide," she says.

I swallow hard. "I had no idea. I was so self centered back then, I didn't really think about anyone else but myself. I'm sorry."

"I see that you are trying to change and I can respect that you are willing to come all the way out here to apologize, however, I'm not sure I can just easily forgive you. It takes a lot more than words to make up for all the pain you've caused me," she says.

"I can understand that. There must be something I can do to make up for what I did to you," I say.

"I don't know..." she says.

"Are you going to the reunion?" I ask.

"Oh hell no," she says, taken aback. "Do you honestly think I'd ever return back to a place that rejected me completely?"

"But, you're like, successful and everything. Don't you want to show all of them up and see what's happened to them since high school?"

"Maybe a little, but I just want to move on with my life," she says.

"What if you come back as my guest. No one will know that you were once Dwane. You can go incognito," I say.

She clearly thinks about it for a second. "I don't know... I told myself I would never go back there. Let me think about it. How long are you in town for?"

"As long as it takes for you to forgive me," I say with a smile.

"Shit, that means you're going to be here awhile then," she says with a hint of a smile. I laugh. "So, you know what I've been up to since high school, what have you been up to?"

"Well... You know. Living the good life," I say with a fake smile. I let the smile drop. "No... Seriously, I've kind of made some terrible life choices. Things sort of spiraled out of control. I became an alcoholic and I ended up getting into a DUI. I lost my job because of it. But I've managed to turn my life around. I met a mentor who got me into AA and I haven't had a drink in 5 years."

"Wow, I'm sorry to hear all that, but I'm happy for you in the fact that you've started to turn things around. I can tell that you really are sincere about it. You know what, I'll take you up on your offer. I'll go to the reunion with you," she says with a genuine smile.

"Great! You won't regret it. I promise," I say.

Chapter 4: Samara Nicholson

I arrive back at the place I swore I'd never return. Joey drives us into town and it seems like nothing's really changed.

"You know, I can give you a tour of everything, if you like. A lots changed," he says

"Sure, why not," I say with a sigh.

He drives down town and parks in the back lot before he gives me his hand to help me out of his car. "A lot of businesses have come and gone since you've moved. Burger King is no more. That Chinese place on the main highway changed hands several times, but ultimately went out of business."

"Really? That was like my favorite restaurant," I say.

"I know. Mine too. They had the best crab rangoons. There's still the one in the strip mall with what was once Glens which now goes by a different name," he says.

"Ehh. That one is not as good," I say.

"They have a great buffett and it's only gotten better since you've left. There is an excellent coffee shop downtown that sells maple syrup. If you want we can grab a cub before starting our tour," he says.

"I'd love that," I say.

He then looks at me and holds out his hand with a smile. "Well, if you're going to pretend to be my date for the reunion, we might as well start now."

I smile and take it. Town is packed because of the festival going on. They've even blocked off some of the side roads like they used to do for a huge carnival. We cross the street and walk into a delicious smelling coffee shop. The mouth watering smell of maple syrup looms in the air. We get in line behind an elderly couple and I look over the menu. Then I ask him a question. "What are you getting?"

"I know this sounds girly but I always get the dark chocolate mocha. I've always had a sweet tooth for chocolate," he says.

"Why would that be girly?" I ask.

"I don't know. My friends always gave me crap for it," he says.

"You need some new friends," I say.

He doesn't respond. As we get up, he orders his drink and I get the same. After they give us our order we head back outside. "You know. I haven't really talked to any of the people I hung out with in high school."

"No?" I ask.

"No. Most of them have moved away, but I just... I'm not the same person and some of them haven't changed. You know?"

"Yeah, I totally get it. If you haven't noticed, I've changed a lot since high school as well," I say, getting a laugh from him.

"You don't say," he says.

I laugh as well. Then things get quiet between us. "What do you do for work?"

"Well, I coach basketball and I am the gym teacher, believe it or not," he says.

"That's great. Do you enjoy it?" I ask.

"At first, I wasn't totally thrilled about it, but I realized with my experiences in life I was in a good position to hopefully prevent these kids from making the same mistakes I did," he says as he tears his gaze away and tightens his lips. "There's one kid named Mike who's just like me. Doing the same stupid shit I did. Trying to blend in and be cool which got him into trouble picking on other kids. I know he's a good kid, because when his asshole friends aren't around he does the right thing. I pulled him aside one day after I had to prevent his friends from picking on this other kid named Terry. An effeminate boy that honestly reminded me of you. I told Mike that if he keeps being an asshole like that he's going to end up like me, getting a DUI and throwing his life down the drain. I told him he's going to regret the way he treats people in high school and you really can't undo the pain you inflict on others. He told me about his home life and how his dad was a drunk asshole and I could relate. My step-dad was an asshole too and I, like him, took out my anger from the abuse I received from him on people who didn't deserve it and I wish I could take it back but I can't. I told him about Oliver and how my friends and I picked on him a lot and how he died of an overdose a year after we all graduated. Now I'll never be able to apologize. I always think that, maybe if I wasn't such an ass to him, maybe he'd still be alive. We can never know for sure. I told him that he has an opportunity to prevent that from happening to someone else."

"Oliver died?" I ask..

"Yeah, he got into drugs after high school and overdosed," he says as his eyes fall to the ground. "God I hate myself for the things we did to him. I'm always asking myself what if I stood up for him. What if I was kind instead of an asshole, maybe he'd still be alive. Maybe he wouldn't have felt he needed to take drugs to escape the pain. I'll never know."

"We can't undo the things we've done, but we can change and become better. You've certainly proved that. I can see that now," I say as he looks up into my eyes. "So, what happened to Mike and Terry?"

He smiles. "Well, I caught Mike's friends picking on Terry again. I was about to stop them when Mike stood up for Terry against his friends. They haven't picked on Terry since. Mike and Terry have become good friends since then."

"Wow. That's amazing," I say as a tear escapes my eyes. "I'm proud of you. You have no idea the impact you had on both Terry and Mike's life. I know Terry is grateful for Mike's actions and I can imagine Mike's far better off. And it's all because of you."

"Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I had to go through all that shit to be in the position to prevent history from repeating itself. You know?"

"Yeah, definitely. It's teachers like you that really make a difference in people's lives. If only we had a teacher like you back when we went to school," she says.

"Yeah, no kidding. Hopefully, I would've realized how much of an asshole I was and maybe we could've been friends."

"I definitely would've liked that," I say with a smile. "But, luckily for you, it's not too late."

"Does this mean you forgive me?" I ask.

"You're definitely doing a very good job of trying to make it up to me, but you're not off the hook yet," I say with a smile.

"I'll take that. That just means we get to spend more time together. If I'm being honest, I'm really enjoying spending time with you," he says.

I can feel my face heat up. I can't believe Joey Shelton has me blushing. I never thought I'd see the day that I'd enjoy a walk down town with the man who made my life a living hell in high school. I can admit he's become a really good man and if I'm being honest, a very attractive man. "I'll admit that so far I've enjoyed myself. Keep it up and I'll definitely consider forgiving you."

"Alright, I'll accept that," he says with that smile I've always wanted to receive in high school.

"So, what's next on the tour?" I ask.

"Well, lunch isn't far, would you like to get something to eat?" he asks.