See Through Me Ch. 11

"Joseph Martell."

"Huh?" I responded. I had forgotten what we were talking about.

"You asked for my name Kate," Joe clarified. "Joseph Martell."

"Oh." I took a moment to wrap my head around his name. It was so formal sounding. So authoritative. I liked "Joe" better.

"What do you do?" I asked. I figured it was best to start with the basics.

A look of conflict grazed his features for the briefest moment before his expression grew neutral.

"I'm an attorney," he answered with finality. "How about yourself?"

Interesting. He was turning the tables.

"I handle accounts for a pharmaceuticals company." I neglected to say where and what company, as I was not quite ready for Joe to know where I lived. It was time to turn the tables again.

"Are you married? Or were you?" I asked, almost dreading his response.

"No, I've never been married," Joe replied, his tone and demeanor still neutral.

I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or concerned. I leaned towards relieved. At least I wasn't a party to an affair. But he was older, and very handsome, and obviously did well for himself. Why would he not have been married, at least once?

"Here we are!" Javier had arrived with our drinks, and I realized I had not even looked at the menu.

"Are we ready to order?"

"Umm, yeah..." I grabbed the menu and skimmed it before ordering, "I'll have the quiche Lorraine with a fruit salad please." I smiled at Javier as I handed him my menu.

"Excellent! And for you sir?" Javier turned to Joe.

"Let's see, I'll have the roast beef au jus. Thanks Javier."

"Excellent! I put it in right away for you!"

And he was off like a shot, leaving me shaking my head and smiling.

"He's so adorable," I mused.

"Adorable?"

I turned to Joe, "Yes, adorable. Eager to please. Like a puppy." I giggled.

"Yes, I suppose he is," Joe smirked. "Next question?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" Joe asked.

"Why have you never been married?"

"Oh. Well..."

Joe had that look of conflict on his face again.

"A multitude of reasons, but in large part because of my...tastes."

Joe didn't need to elaborate on that.

"How about yourself? I never asked. I just assumed from how you were alone, and after seeing you in the bar..."

"No, I've never been married. And I'm not attached," I admitted. "My last boyfriend and I split up about a year ago. I haven't dated much."

"Why not?" Joe asked. "You're a dish, sweetheart. Not that I mind, I guess I'm just surprised. You could have any man you wanted."

I blushed.

"Well, I suppose you and I have similar reasons for never committing. I couldn't quite connect with anyone in the way I wanted. It never felt right. I considered my personal tastes to be, unconventional, if not outright crazy. I was always too embarrassed to share them with anyone," I paused.

"I thought of asking for what I wanted, asking a man to act out my fantasies with me, but I would have felt silly. You don't ask someone to...take you, and expect things to feel spontaneous. I needed the spontaneity, and the feeling of having no control. It's not really something you can ask for. Even if I had gotten the courage to ask someone, and he agreed, I would have known that everything he was doing was at my request, not a result of his own urges...if that makes sense?"

I was staring down into the tablecloth again, blushing to my ears, embarrassed to be sharing all this with Joe. But he already knew my desires, so what difference did it make?

"I think that makes a lot of sense, Kate," Joe replied softly.

I nodded, and we sat in silence for a bit, sipping at our drinks.

"So where are you based?" I asked, eager to stay in the dominant position, and steer the topic of conversation away from sex.

"My practice is in Chicago. I have an apartment in Lincoln Park," Joe responded cooly.

"What about you?" Joe leaned in, staring deep into my eyes, as if this answer was of the most interest to him.

I paled. He lived in Chicago. Lincoln Park. We were practically neighbors. Oh God.

Even if I did decide to break it off with him, we would still be in the same city. As big and populated as Chicago was, I knew that somehow Joe would find me.

Pulling it together, I blurted out, "Boston."

Joe frowned.

"Really? What part? I went to school there."

Of course he went to school there. Duh, Harvard Law! Shit. What was I going to say? I knew almost nothing about Boston.

"Oh, downtown," I lied, cursing myself for asking where he lived and not anticipating that he would ask me.

Joe was opening his mouth to ask another probing question when Javier arrived with our food. Thank God!

"Oh my goodness, Javier, this looks delicious!" I didn't have to lie about that at least. It looked, and smelled, divine.

"Indeed," Joe agreed, giving me an indecipherable look.

"Anything else I can bring you?" Javier asked.

"Some water would be great," I replied. I was afraid to be left alone with Joe, now that I had outright lied to him. I knew that if given the chance, he would drag it out of me.

As Javier left, I immediately dug into my quiche.

"Oh my God, this is good," I exaggerated. "How's yours?"

I was eager to change the topic, and remove the quizzical look from Joe's face.

Joe resumed the casual smirk I was coming to hate and crave at the same time.

"We'll see," he said, reaching for his sandwich. After a couple bites, Joe remarked, "It's juicy. Moist and tender, just the way I like it."

"Hmm, I would have thought you more of a tough and spicy kinda guy," I teased, in response to his obvious double entendre.

"Nope," Joe said.

We ate in silence until Javier brought our water.

"Thanks Javier," I smiled.

"No problem! Anything else I can get for you?"

"We should be fine for a while Javier, thank you," Joe cut in.

I could see from Joe and Javier's eye contact that Joe was silently telling him to make himself scarce.

Javier nodded quickly, and responded with "Good, please enjoy!"

Before I could say anything else, he headed quickly back towards the kitchen.

I continued to dig into my lunch, trying to keep my mouth full, while simultaneously not finishing my food too fast. It was an interesting challenge.

Joe was so quiet. Of course he was eating as well, but I was surprised that he didn't press me for more details on where I lived. Surprised and relieved. But the cryptic look on his face left me with an uneasy feeling. I knew the interrogation was not over. I only hoped I could steer him away from the topic of my residence and place of work.

Although I had accepted the fact that Joe's...advances...had turned me on, I was still not sure that we had anything long term going, or if I wanted to have anything long term with Joe. He had raped me. I needed to keep reminding myself of that. It was clear that he regretted the brutality of that first night, but even if I was prepared to forgive, I doubted if I would ever forget.

"So is it Kate...Smith? Kate Wagner? Kate Johnson?" Joe queried, keeping the tone light.

"It's Kate...Miller," I considered lying again, but there were probably enough Kate Millers in the phone book to keep Joe busy if he were to try and locate me. Better to tell the truth on this one than to attempt two bold-faced lies to Joe in a row. My poker face was shit, and now that I knew Joe was an attorney, I wanted to avoid any sort of interrogation. I needed to turn the tables again.

Finishing the last bite of my quiche, I wiped my mouth off with my napkin.

"So, who are you Joe Martell? And what are you doing on this cruise anyway? You don't seem upset by missing Nassau today," I gestured toward the beach.

"I'm a guy so devoted to my work that my business partner threatened to kick my ass if I didn't go away for a while," Joe laughed. "His secretary made all the arrangements. I couldn't have cared less if it was Nassau or Anchorage."

I laughed, "I think your business partner and I would get along. He sounds attractive. Is he single?"

I did my best to keep a suggestive grin plastered on my face, but Joe's heated look sobered me, fast. He knew I was joking, but it was clear that he wasn't keen on the idea of me pursuing another man. Surprise, surprise.

"So what do you like? What are your hobbies? Do you have family?" I questioned, suddenly eager to learn more about Joe, perhaps to see him in a more normal light.

"I have a younger brother. He and my parents still live in Michigan, where I grew up. I fly out to see them most holidays."

Joe's eyes had drifted down to his empty plate. He seemed almost sad.

"I remember my brother and I used to go fishing a lot. We fish whenever I go to visit in the summer, but it's been a few years. He's married and has a couple kids."

"Do you like kids?" I asked softly.

Joe's eyes suddenly flicked up to meet mine.

"Yes I do," Joe replied. "I just don't have much experience with them is all. Plus, patience is not my strong suit."

I couldn't help but giggle.

"Yes, I believe that," I agreed.

"What?" Joe teased. "Have I not been patient with you? Have I not put up with your whining, and helped you to see the error of your ways? I think I've come a long way."

Joe was trying to contain a grin, but failing miserably. I couldn't help it. It was contagious. We both laughed.

"You're a bastard," I whispered.

"Maybe," Joe chuckled, his eyes filled with promise.

"What do you say we go walk this off a bit Kate?" Joe asked, leaning back in his chair and stretching.

"Egghh, fine," I consented with a pout. I was full, and tired, and not ready to get up out of my chair. But I knew I couldn't sit on my ass all day.

"Mind the attitude pet," Joe responded calmly, leaving some bills on the table for Javier.

I rolled my eyes, but shivered inwardly at his subtle tone.

Joe offered me his arm, and although I couldn't help but smirk at him, I played along.

Emerging from the staircase onto the sun deck, we both took in deep breaths as the sea air rushed into our lungs. The sun was headed towards the horizon, and I felt sad that nearly the whole day had passed.

We walked a bit until we reached the balcony's edge, facing the coastline. The breeze from the rolling waves blew my hair back, and I struggled quickly to wrap my hair back over my shoulder, concealing Joe's mark.

"God Kate, you are truly a vision," Joe gushed, surprising me.

"Thanks," I blushed, my eyes falling to my toes again. I wanted to say something smart, but his compliment seemed so genuine, and from the heart. If he had a heart.

Joe could control, dominate, and pleasure, but could he love? If I were to have his baby, would he love the baby? Would he love me? It seemed absurd to even contemplate such a notion. But why? He had pledged to take care of me, to ensure my safety and health. But he had never promised to love me. Even if he had, I would have balked at the idea.

As for me, I had been taken with Joe from the moment we exchanged glances. Had it not been for that moment between us, that unmistakable spark, I might have put up a greater fight against him.

"Kate, what is it?" Joe asked, moving closer to me.

I shook my head, gazing down at the waves as they crashed on the beach.

What was there to say?

Grabbing my arms and turning me to him, Joe repeated, "Kate, tell me now. What's the matter?"

"What's the matter??" I mocked. "Joe, seriously? What's the matter? I...I can't just flip a switch and be eternally subservient to a man I hardly know. A man I don't know. A man who raped me no less," I whispered bitterly.

It was hard to conceal the hysterical tone of my voice. In theory, his proposition was hot. Wildly, primitively erotic. But saying it aloud...talking about our situation just exposed it for what it was. Crazy.

Joe's eyes took on that unreadable look again.

"Alright," Joe sighed. "I get that you're upset. I get that you have every right to be upset. But this," he squeezed my hips possessively, "This feels right to me. It feels so natural. You and I feel so natural, and compatible. Maybe not emotionally just yet, but physically I'm sure you'll agree, we want exactly the same thing."

"No Joe," I countered. "I mean, yes, physically, it seems that we have similar tastes, but that is hardly justification for..." I trailed off, my hand traveling down to my belly. I couldn't even say the words.

"You are right," Joe agreed softly, his hand stroking over mine. "But I don't care. I want you. In every possible way."

Joe pulled me closer, and spun me to face the railing.

I gasped as his hands moved with purpose down to my belly, and caressed it possessively. Joe had me pinned against the railing now, his cock noticeably hard against my back.

"Kate," Joe whispered in my ear, "You're mine. You know it. You want it. And now you need to embrace it."

Joe's tongue teased at my neck, making me shiver and squirm against his cock as he went on.

"I'm going to fill you tonight. And tomorrow. Again and again. You're going to be pregnant with my baby before this cruise is done. I promise."

I shuddered against him, my pussy clenching at nothingness in sweet anticipation.

"I can feel your desire Kate," Joe breathed into my ear, his hands continuing to caress my belly, his cock gently grinding against my ass. I panted in fear and arousal.

"Joe, please!" I whimpered. I felt like I was going to come apart.

"It's alright baby. Shhh," Joe soothed. "Accept me, accept my cock, accept my cum, and everything will be fine. I promise."

"How??" I whined, my eyes fluttering.

"Sshhh. Just think of it Kate. Imagine these breasts," Joe slid his hands upwards to sit just below my breasts. "Imagine them swollen, full, aching, your nipples so tender and sensitive," Joe whispered wetly. "I know you will give our baby plenty of milk with these gorgeous full tits."

Joe thrust his cock roughly against my ass. My mind was swimming with thoughts of Joe squeezing my pregnant tits, milk flying everywhere, and I nearly lost it. My hips squirmed back and forth to avoid Joe's thickening erection, resulting in a strained moan from him that sent chills all over my body.

I knew my nipples had to be terribly prominent in this dress. Joe's heady words and the cooling ocean breeze ripped away any possibility of maintaining my dignity. For any who looked, I was obviously flushed and panting with arousal.

I could feel his hard dick through the thin material of the dress, pressed squarely against my asshole. I knew Joe could feel it.

"God, Joe!" I gasped. "I can't take this!"

Suddenly, there were voices of more people starting to gather on the sun deck, returning from their day trip to the island.

"Alright Kate, let's get out of here before you give these people a show," he teased, reaching down to adjust himself.

"Me??" I admonished, as he turned me and steered me to the staircase and back to his cabin.

The late afternoon breeze was not forgiving. As I tried to keep my hair in place, my skirt would fly up, and when I tried to keep my skirt down, my hair would fly back, exposing Joe's mark...much to his delight. Joe didn't have to say anything for me to notice his smug grin.

I could not wait to get indoors. As much as I dreaded being consumed by Joe once we reached his suite, I was more terrified at the prospect of exposing myself in public. If I could keep this from getting out in the open, at least that would be something. Joe would conquer me again, most certainly, but no one else needed to know.

"Is there anything you need, Darling, before we return to our room?" Joe asked casually, as he walked at a leisurely pace.

"No, Joe! I don't need anything. Please can we just get out of here?" I begged.

"Oh I'm sure you'll think of something," he teased, dragging me over towards the gift shop.

"Joe!"

There was no stopping the conniving bastard. Apparently we were going shopping.

"How about we get you a new scarf? A Joe Approved scarf," he laughed.

I glared at him. While I was thrilled to be able to get a new scarf after he had cut up my old one, the thought of him picking it out pissed me off. But I decided, better to have a Joe Approved scarf than to walk around all day exhibiting Joe's teeth marks on my neck.

I pouted as he steered me into the store. His gait was so relaxed and un-rushed. It pissed me off. At least my hair and dress weren't blowing all over the place.

"This on your tab?" I asked, frowning at Joe.

"Of course, silly girl," Joe replied, an amused look on his face.

He loved tormenting me in any way possible. Sometimes I loved it, and sometimes, times like this, I hated it. But, since this was on his dime, I decided to take advantage. He had insisted we stop after all.

Hiding my smirk, I marched with purpose up and down the aisles, grabbing some random items. I picked up a copy of GQ, a few Snickers bars, sunglasses, and a box of condoms, before meeting Joe over at the rack of scarves.

It seemed he had been putting a good deal of effort into choosing my scarf, and my heart softened for just a moment.

"We'll take these," Joe declared, handing me four scarves and a cute pink sundress, in small of course.

I barely had a chance to look at the items as Joe steered me to the register.

Laying each item on the conveyor belt, I tried to keep a straight face as Joe observed my selections. I saved the best for last, naturally, placing the box of condoms upright, and smiling sweetly at Joe.

The look he gave me was fierce. He didn't look mad per se, but his eyes promised retribution in some form. I couldn't help but grin, biting my lip in the process.

Joe's eyes sparkled then with mischief, and I watched curiously as he pulled an additional item and set it next to the condoms. It was cooling lotion. But from the look of determination on Joe's face, I doubted it was to treat sunburn. He had plans, and I shivered at the possibilities. Whatever was to come, it was sure to be intense.

--------

With our Costco bag in tow, Joe and I began our descent in the ever-tedious elevator. It wasn't as intense this time. Almost routine. But I had a sinking feeling that perhaps I was underestimating Joe. He had consistently pushed me beyond my comfort zone. When he overcame one boundary, he would simply find another, worse and more terrifying, only to tear it to pieces as well.

I seriously couldn't imagine anything worse that Joe might have up his sleeve. It seemed that from here it would pretty much just be sex, and though I was loath to cooperate with his agenda, I would sure as hell enjoy the earth-shattering pleasure that went along with it.

I was determined to love and care for my baby, whether or not Joe did, and I was definitely not counting on Joe sticking around. I was a realist.

I reasoned that mind-blowing sex with a man like Joe was not something one could expect more than once in a lifetime. I needed to savor this. Savor the intensity of Joe before he disappeared from my life. I would use him for pleasure, as he was using me, and let the chips fall.

Deep inside though, I was preparing myself for the disappointment, the heartbreak, the trauma of being cast aside. Being faced with the fact that I was just another conquest. I knew it already, and I would try to be strong, but ultimately I knew he would break my heart. Men like Joe, strong, sexy, arrogant alpha males, did not need to commit. Certainly not to me.

>Ding<

Staring down at my feet again, I sighed as Joe gently led me back to his suite. I went willingly, numbly, steeling myself for the loss to come. How quickly I could go from excited and enraptured to scared and melancholy.

Joe guided me inside, and locked the door behind us. As I looked around, I could see the room had been cleaned. The sheets changed, the bed made, the dishes removed, and a fresh set of towels.