Send in the Clowns Ch. 02

"You seek justice?" I replied. "Or is it really revenge? And do you seek to achieve your goals by violent means?"

"Don't answer that." Edward N. Parker said. "And maybe you should just invoke now."

"Your client has the right to invoke." I said. "But if he does, he can't explain his actions during the time of the theft of the painting. And right now, we really suspect his involvement in making that painting disappear."

"I reserve my right to invoke at any time, but for now I'll answer your questions, as long as they are relevant to the subject at hand." said Walter Corning, showing the underlying shrewdness that his legal beagle apparently didn't possess.

"You were in the Gift Shop when the fire alarm went off?" I asked. "And if so, exactly where in the Gift Shop were you?"

"Yes." said Corning. "I was behind the counter."

"Did you see anyone come in through the side entrance right after the alarm started?" I asked.

"There were several people in the Gift Shop at that time." said Corning. "And when the alarm went off, we all looked at the glass wall that is the front of the gift shop, looking into the lobby."

"But did you see anyone come in the side door right at that time?" I persisted.

"Several people came in and out by that door." said Corning. "What I'm trying to tell you is that I was distracted by the alarm and didn't pay attention to the side door."

I turned to Teddy Parker and said "He's just not answering my specific question with a specific answer."

"I disagree." said Edward N. Parker. "He did answer your question. Now move on, or I'll have him invoke and stop your harassment of him."

"Okay, then." I said. "We have an eyewitness that saw someone go into the Gift Shop via the side door right after the alarm went off... carrying the painting that was stolen. So you need to think about it, Walter. And while you do, tell me about those two paintings behind the counter."

"They were replicas." said Corning. "We'd sold six of them, and the two on the wall had been sold and were going to be picked up after the exhibition and the auction. But then the alarm went off and they were confiscated as evidence."

"Yes, and we'll allow their rightful owners to take possession of them, in time." I said. "And speaking of them, I'd noticed the painting with the red 'SOLD' tag had been there a while, but the one with the blue tag must've been sold more recently?"

"Just minutes before the alarm." said Corning. "I'd just put the 'SOLD' label on it."

"Any significance to the color of the sold tags?" I asked.

"No, none at all." said Corning. "We have red, blue, green, and black tags, but we've never used the colors for any purpose." I'd been watching Walter Corning, and I saw the first sign of shiftiness, of evasiveness, in his eyes.

"And after the alarm went off, no one touched or moved those two replicas behind the counter?" I said.

"Yeah, you and your fellow Agents did when they came in, and that professor guy began examining them." said Corning.

"What about between the time the alarm went off and the Agents came in?" I asked.

"Don't answer that." said Edward N. Parker, "Commander, I've been very patient with you to this point, and my client has truthfully answered your questions. But unless you have charges to bring against him, I am going to end this charade and take my client out of here."

"No you're not." I said. "I'm upgrading the charges, to suspicion of participating in the theft of the Lost Greuze."

"You heard my client." said Edward N. Parker, anger creeping into his voice. "You have nothing, not a shred of proof, that he's done anything wrong."

"I've heard your client be evasive in his answers, and you stepping in to stop him from answering a question." I replied. "I simply don't believe your story, Walter. I think you had to have seen something, something you're refusing to tell me about. And I have all weekend to interview witnesses at the scene, that were in the Gift Shop, or in the lobby looking into the Gift Shop------"

"This is a pile of crap!" exploded Edward N. Parker. "Walter, you need to invoke. And then I'm going to the Courthouse and get you out of here." Walter Corning invoked. E.N. Parker left for the Courthouse...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Sir, he did have a point." said Captain Claire Michaels as we walked down the hall towards Interrogation Rooms A and B, with Detectives Rodriguez and Parker behind us. "We really don't have any evidence on him. What makes you think he's part of it."

"Who his representation is, for openers." I replied. "When I see a Gresham & Mason legal beagle in the House, I know something's up."

"Sir," said Julia Rodriguez, "do you think there's a reason Nathan Masterson has not shown up yet? He's usually the one that comes in, if only to annoy you, especially over Jewish-related things."

I turned and looked at Julia, then said "That is Iron Crowbar thinking there, Detective. Here, hold this." I handed her the red crowbar, then turned and went into the anteroom. We looked in on the two servers that had been behind the table. Their public defenders were with them.

"These two are college students at our University here." I said. "Captain, let's interview the girl first. I'd take Julia in, but she doesn't look like she wants to give up that red crowbar just yet." They all grinned at that.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Claire and I went into I-A and sat down opposite the young woman with dirty blonde hair and an attractive but not beautiful face. Her public defender was sitting next to her, and Officer Colquitt was the Uniformed Presence. (Author's note: 'Smoke On The Water', Ch. 03, for Officer Colquitt.)

"Vanessa Bright." I said. "I'm going to read you your rights------"

"What are you charging my client with?" her public defender, a slender young man with his hair combed to one side very severely, and a simpering look on his face. "Why have you arrested her?"

With public defenders, it's usually one of two things: he (or she, but I'll just say 'he') is there because he has to be, and is just going through the motions; orrrr, he's some overeager young snot that thinks the case he's on will be his big break, like he's Perry Mason or something. This kid was overeager, and he was no Perry Mason.

"Do not interrupt the Police Commander again!" Claire Michaels said menacingly. The legal beagle looked like his head was going to fall into his neck like a turtle.

I read Vanessa her rights, and she said "Why are you reading me my rights? What have I done?"

I said "We're reading you your rights for your protection as well as ours, legally speaking. And you are here because you are a material witness and possibly a person of interest in the theft of the painting this morning."

"I didn't have anything to do with that!" the girl wailed.

"And where is your proof that she did anything wrong at all?" added the public defender.

Claire Michaels said to the beagle "You need to listen harder. The Police Commander said she was a material witness. We want to know what she saw and heard."

I said "Yes. Vanessa, you were behind the champagne and snacks table. You had clear sight of the painting, the door to the Gift Shop, and the space in between. And the smoke grenade began doing smoke grenade things right behind you, in the corner. So... what did you see?"

"Nuth-ing!" Vanessa wailed.

I said "Captain, did you know that Vanessa here is majoring in the Performance Arts? In other words, Acting! And I'm seeing acting here, if I don't miss my guess."

"And you never do, sir." Claire said agreeably, practicing good asskissing skills.

"And you know what else I'll be seeing, Vanessa?" I said. "Your bank accounts, when we get the warrant for them." Nothing from Vanessa. "And your cellphone contacts, and text messages. And we'll be searching your room, too, looking for any hoards of cash you might have." Now Vanessa was beginning to look uncomfortable... as in 'scared' uncomfortable.

"You can't do that!" the public defender said. He really was in over his head.

"Once I get that warrant I can." I replied. "And I'll get it."

"Even if you do," said the lawyer, "you can find cash, and it doesn't mean a thing. You can't trace it back to any payments for illegal activity."

"And we're going to talk to your buddy Steve, who was at the table with you." I said to Vanessa. "You better hope and pray that he saw nothing. And you know... if you're both involved, he might throw you under the bus to save his own skin. I have one plea deal. Who's going to get it?"

"He's bluffing." the lawyer said to Vanessa.

"Better be sure." I replied levelly.

"The Police Commander doesn't bluff." said Claire. "At least he never has in front of me. Vanessa, your whole future, your whole life is on the line here."

"I need to talk to my client." said the lawyer, his first words of wisdom all day.

"Sure." I said. "We'll be talking to Steve while you talk to your client." I indicated to Claire, and we got up and left the room. Once we were out, Officer Colquitt exited through the lobby-side door.

"Okay, Teddy," I said in the anteroom. "Let's go talk to Steve." We went into Interrogation-B, and I was very pleased to see that Steve was represented by Dwayne Epstein, the most incompetent public defender on the rolls.

Steve was tall, with reddish blonde hair, and his face was a cross between a prankster and a surfer boy. He was also the kind of guy that was probably getting a lot of pussy.

Teddy and I sat down and I read Steve his rights from the card, which he acknowledged. Epstein did not interrupt as I said "Steve, you are being held as a material witness and possible person of interest in the theft of the painting. You had a good view of the painting from your position at the snack table, and the smoke grenade went off very near you."

I continued: "You are a second year student and an English major at the University here, and your grades are barely above water. You were on probation to be expelled from School, but then you took a course taught by Dr. Lionel Carmela last summer, got an 'A', and saved yourself. You repeated that with Dr. Juanita Rivera last fall, taking her Spanish class and getting an 'A'... and nothing better than 'C's and 'D's in any other class."

Epstein finally opened his mouth and said "So what? All that means nothing, and it's not illegal."

I replied "It is if your client was asked to do a favor or two in exchange for those 'A's... and if the favor was to throw a smoke grenade to distract everyone while your confederates stole the Greuze, then that quid pro quo would definitely be illegal. It's called 'conspiracy'."

"No! I never did anything like that!" protested Steve.

"Then what are those two 'A's about?" I asked. "And please don't insult my intelligence by telling me Carmela and Rivera did that out of the goodness of their hearts... because there is no goodness, at all, in Carmela's heart or soul."

"Okay, I'll tell you." Steve said. "I've spent the two years I've been here at School partying and banging girls. One girl I (air quotes) 'dated' was kind of skanky, and she was into stuff like feminism, and Climate Change. She told me that there was a professor that could help me with my grades. It was Dr. Carmela. All I had to do was take his introductory class in political activism, actually attend it, and I'd get an 'A'. So I did, and I got the 'A'."

Steve: "The next semester I took Dr. Rivera's Intro to Spanish class. I didn't even show up for that one, but I did bang her and she said I was good in bed so she gave me an 'A'. I didn't argue."

I said "And what did you have to do in exchange for their generosity?"

Steve said "Dr. Carmela told me to join a group called 'Students for Climate Justice'. He told me that there would also be demonstrations over Climate Change... peaceful demonstrations... and I was expected to participate in them. So I went to a meeting and paid my $20 dues... and took a different girl home for sex after every meeting. No big deal."

"This was since this semester began?" I asked.

"Yeah, a week after school started in January." said Steve, who was now agitated and ready to answer my pertinent questions.

"Okay, let's talk about this morning." I said. "From your position behind the table, you had sight of the entire Main Hall, and direct line of sight to the door of the room across the way, the door to the Gift Shop, and where the Greuze was placed on its easel, yes?"

"Well," Steve said, "I guess I did, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was talking to the people that came up to the table, especially the lovely women there in those dresses."

"Flirting with them?" I asked, seemingly nonchalantly.

"And trying to get a date." said Steve. "That Dr. Fredricson? She is hot! I'd love to take her out on a date."

"I'll let her know you're interested." I said, deadpan flat. Teddy Parker barely kept from laughing. I'm told the people in the anteroom watching did not succeed in restraining themselves. I said "So did you see the smoke grenade being thrown?"

"No." said Steve. "I don't think it was thrown, at least not in the traditional sense. The first I became aware of it was smelling and then seeing the smoke."

"What did you do then?" I asked.

"I went for a fire extinguisher on the front wall, the wall that the lobby is on the other side of." said Steve. "I tried to put out the grenade, but the extinguisher didn't work very well on it."

"Let me ask you this." I said. "How well do you know Vanessa, the girl at the table with you?"

"Pretty well." Steve said. "I've dated her a few times."

"She's good in bed?" I rather rudely asked.

"She is excellent in bed." Steve said. "She rocked my world. But she's like me, just looking for a good time. She doesn't want a serious relationship, and neither do I."

"What was Vanessa doing right at the time the smoke grenade went off?"

"Uhhh..." said Steve, as if some memory had just slapped him in the face, "you know, I didn't really see her, but got a phone call, and then she reached down under the table, like she was getting some more champagne or something."

"So she could've thrown the grenade?" I asked.

"I... I can't say." said Steve. "I just saw her bend down."

And Dwayne Epstein interjected himself right at that moment: "And anything else calls for speculation. Don't say any more, Steve, or these guys might try to charge you with Lying to Police. In fact, you might want to invoke now, and make them prove you've done anything wrong at all."

I said "Just one more question, with a follow-up: the woman that was carrying champagne glasses around on a tray... did you know her? And what was her name?"

"No, I'd never met her before." said Steve. "I figured she was a new hire. She said her name was Beth. Beth Morris, or Morrison, something like that."

"Did you see where she was right at the time of the grenade going off?" I asked.

"No, not at all." said Steve. "She was cute, but I barely saw her at all during the reception."

"So you did not see her after the smoke grenade stopped smoking?"

"Uhh... no." said Steve, thinking about it. "I didn't see her again at all..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Back to I-A, where Vanessa Bright and her public defender were waiting for us. Claire Michaels and I sat down opposite them.

"This is not an admission of guilt." the lawyer said. "My client wants full immunity from prosecution in exchange for her truthful statement and later testimony."

"I'm sure she does." I replied. "She's not going to get it. We now have eyewitness testimony that she threw the grenade herself, which makes her a co-conspirator in the theft of the Greuze as well as other charges coming her way." Claire Michaels did not bat an eyelash at my bluff.

Both the lawyer and Vanessa's faces fell upon hearing my words. The lawyer recovered enough to say "Will you at least listen to a hypothetical statement, and determine if her information is of value enough to give her immunity for it?"

"Normally I wouldn't." I replied. "I don't like hypotheticals, and I will repeat my assertion that your client is not getting full immunity under any circumstances. However, if your client answers a few (air quotes) 'hypothetical' questions, and if her information is relevant and helpful, I'll ask the District Attorney to consider a plea deal."

The lawyer whispered something to Vanessa, who nodded and then looked at me with something resembling hatred. "Okay." she said.

I said "Hypothetically, who was the other woman in your group of servers?"

Vanessa said "Hypothetically, she said her name was Beth, and I don't remember her last name, if she even told me. I'd never met her before today."

I said "Hypothetically, did you see her or anyone else near the painting just before the time of the smoke grenade being tossed?"

"Hypothetically, no." said Vanessa. "I really didn't see much of her at all. I was too busy handing out food and drink to the guests. Steve was worthless; he was flirting with women the whole time. He thinks he's God's gift to women, but he's really not very good in bed."

"Hypothetically, of course." I replied laconically. "And hypothetically, did you bend down, reach under the table, and then toss the smoke grenade into the corner?"

"Don't answer that!" the lawyer practically shouted, then turned to me and said "Unless, of course, you're going to give my client full immunity in exchange for her information."

"Let's go, Captain." I said, getting up. "This conversation is over. I'll see you at your trial, Ms. Bright..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We moved along to Interrogation-C, where the slovenly guard and his public defender were. Teddy Parker and I went in and sat down opposite them. I read the suspect his rights from the card and he said he understood.

"Joseph T. Baker." I said. "Security guard with the company for one year. Exceptionally unexceptional record with them, but you haven't done anything to be fired over. By the way, are you related to Ruth Heidelmann Baker, the owner of the painting?"

"Not that I know of." said Baker. He was answering, and he was not invoking. That was good.

"How is it that you did not see the painting you were standing right next to be exchanged like it was?" I asked.

"Like I told the Officer that questioned me earlier," said Baker, "I'd stepped forward somewhat when I saw the smoke, and I was scanning in that direction and didn't look behind me."

"Amazing." I said, referring to the man's incompetence. "How were you assigned to guard the painting?"

"My boss told me to be there and that that was my job for the day." said Baker.

"What about the guy that was guarding the painting with you." I said. "How well do you know him?"

"I didn't know him at all." said Baker. "I'd never seen him before."

"All right, then." I said. "You are our guest at the Graybar Hotel for the weekend. If there's something you know that could help us and would get you out of trouble, you or your attorney need to let us know immediately. Let's go, Parker." Teddy and I exited the Interrogation Room.

"He doesn't know a damn thing, if I don't miss my guess." I told the others as we walked down the hallway towards MCD. "We'll hold him over the weekend, but we'll have to let him go if we can't find anything on him..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As the four of us headed down the hallway, Lt. Micah Rudistan popped out of the Vice room. "Commander, can we see you for a moment?"

"Sure." I said. We all followed him into Vice, where Detectives Joan Laurer, J.J. 'Ice Cube' Perry, and Lisa Monroe were standing in front of the clown painting, which was now evidence. It was sitting on a stand on the table in the middle of the room, facing away from the doors.