Sensual Teasing

Sensual teasing is an art more than anything else. Some people are turned on by teasing and others, not so much. As is often the case, it is a matter of taste.

My husband enjoys teasing, but he's not so much into humiliation. There is a vast difference between teasing and humiliation, especially in intent. My husband, for example, teases me about having "sharp elbows." The bones in my elbows are pointed and not rounded. But by him teasing me about this natural fact does this mean he is humiliating me? Of course not!

When I am excited or agitated about something my voice rises an octave, and my husband teases me about this. Is he cruel to do so? Please! Don't be obtuse.

The same is true about sensual teasing. There are all kinds of varieties when it comes to sensual teasing, but what matters most in these scenarios is the recipient's response to said teasing. Some people can take it and some cannot. The same is true in other things of course, but sensual teasing is a particular taste that one must observe the recipient's reaction before you can fully understand if you have crossed a line.

Anecdotally speaking, my husband is immensely excited by sensual teasing of a specific sort. For example, he would not appreciate me teasing him about failing to give me an orgasm. He takes my orgasms very seriously and thus would not respond well to me teasing him about not giving me one. I don't even have to experiment with this because I already know what his response would be; disappointment in himself.

But in other areas he is much more receptive to sensual teasing. The thing is, I know my husband and where he is most secure in himself. For him, not giving me sexual pleasure is seen as a failure on his part, even if it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. But in other ways he is not only receptive, but is sexually excited by such teasing.

To be sure, some men simply can't be teased. Some women as well I suppose. Some men and women see all teasing as something that is abusive, whether it is sexual or otherwise. This essay is not for such people since most of them simply cannot get past their sexual self-image.

Differences between Teasing and Humiliation

First let's begin with some definitions.

Tease:

1. to make fun of or attempt to provoke in a playful way.

Humiliate:

1. to make someone feel ashamed and foolish by injuring their self-respect.

These are simple definitions, but they are useful. When placed in the realm of sexuality such definitions become readily apparent and obvious. If one is sexually provoking in a playful way then they are attempting to be stimulatory. Thus, it is a form of foreplay and should be seen as such.

On the other hand, if one is attempting to shame another or injure another's self-respect then that can be defined as abusive. To be sure, some people are sexually stimulated by such things and as such should not be judged by anything other than that by that which they are sexually excited.

Legally speaking, sexual humiliation is permissible. A girl-friend of mine from high school once told her ex-boyfriend at the time that he had a small dick and never sexually satisfied her, which I found appalling and cruel. But she was mad and hurt, so she lashed out. I understood her pain at the time and so empathized, but what she said was mean and unnecessary nonetheless. I had perspective where she did not.

But this isn't the real question. The real question is about sensual teasing and that which is playful and stimulatory. All men, and all women for that matter, appreciate sexual stimulation. To each of us sexual stimulation is a little different and meaningful differently.

For some of us, my husband and I included, sexual stimulation includes teasing.

The last definition I'd like to be clear on is:

Sensual Teasing:

1. to tease another in such a fashion as to encourage sexual stimulation.

Sensual, or sexual teasing should never be confused with provoking a self-loathing in the one who is being teased. In this sense teasing is at cross-purposes with humiliation.

NOTE: Please do not take my distaste for humiliation as being anything other than a preference.

Small Dick Teasing

There are various forms of sensual teasing, but for brevities sake I'm going to limit this essay to small dick teasing. The reason I am limiting this is because there are hundreds of forms of sexual teasing and I'm not writing a dissertation here, so in order to make this something that can be easily read in a single pass this is what I have chosen to write about. Besides, I know something about this subject.

Let me be clear and straightforward: My husband is sexually stimulated when I tease him about the size of his dick. Why this is the case is something that is deep within himself and he has been unable to be precise about his motivations, but still, I understand his need and desires in this area and am receptive to those needs and desires. Thus I partake and, while not fully understanding, do my best to meet his wants and desires.

Let me digress for a moment. That I wish to be sexually pleasing to my husband in this way does this make me cruel and inhumane? No, of course not! It makes me loving in that I am attempting to meet a need that my husband has, for whatever his reasons. But if he asked me to do something that I thought would be cruel to him, and something that I couldn't understand, I would express such in the hopes that he would be able to either express himself better or to forego that fantasy.

So on to the title of the subject, small dick teasing.

Just to be clear, I have no issues with the size of my husband's dick. In fact, I usually have better sex with him than I have with men who are larger. But that is beside the point. My husband is sexually stimulated whenever he thinks about his wife having had sex with men who have larger cocks.

For him he loves it, is extremely excited, whenever I remind him that my boyfriend's cock is much bigger than his. And to tell the truth, my boyfriend's cock is much bigger. And as such, I too am sexually stimulated by remembering the differences between them.

My current boyfriend's cock is quite large, not so much in length but rather in girth, which I personally prefer. Lengthwise he is about 7 inches, but in girth he stretches me perfectly. In truth, I love having sex with him because his size is exactly as I like it.

My point in explaining this isn't to titillate, but rather to explain the situation so that maybe you will understand. Most women do not have a husband AND a boyfriend. In most cases they have a husband and a dildo. For husband's that are interested in this type of teasing, explaining this can be very difficult for them since they don't want their wives to think them weak.

The thing is, I don't need full comprehension to justify why my husband enjoys being teased about the size of his dick. All I really need is enough understanding so that I can enjoy the teasing as much as he does.

Why Tease

Again, let me stipulate that the purpose of this essay is explaining teasing and NOT humiliation. I have no experience with humiliation and no interest in the subject.

When my husband and I first married 24 years ago he expressed to me at the time that he wished he had more in the dick department to give me. I thought little of this at the time since I was unconcerned and was satisfied with him as a lover. That said, he never released that thinking and carried it with him. Still does to this day and probably always will.

Over the years he, from time-to-time, expressed such thoughts to me and as usually I gave them little thought since I was pleased with him as a man and as a lover. See, the thing is he had these thoughts due to his previous experiences of which I had little knowledge.

Like my high school friend, some girls can be cruel when hurt. My husband had a few similar experiences when he was younger and as such had some peculiar neurosis. He thought, wrongly I might add, that his dick was too small to be fully satisfying.

Over the years my husband would ask about my previous lovers, and inevitably would ask about the size of their dicks. Thinking nothing of it I would tell him the truth and he would internalize that as being a diminishing of his manhood and sexual prowess.

At first I didn't understand and would remind him that I found him to be a superior lover in all respects. And, at first, he wouldn't accept this. But over time he took note of the fact that I almost always had an orgasm with him, loved on his body and his dick and complimented him on his prowess in the bedroom.

I didn't do this to bolster his self-esteem, I did that because it was true. Over time he asked good questions and I explained to him my mind. In its own way it was very beautiful because he listened to me, to my wants and desires, and as such he became an even better lover.

Here's the thing, as my husband listened to me, I too listened to my husband. He explained to me how a few girlfriends of his said some pretty mean things to him about the size of his dick. But over time, as his confidence grew, he began to sexualize the words those girls said to him. They became lost to their original meaning and purpose and as such, became a sexual stimulation.

To me this is healing. The Why my husband wants to be teased about the size of his dick.

For him, it is a reminder that his previous sexual relationships are inferior to his sexual relationship with me. I love my husband, I love his body, I love his mind and yes, I love his small dick.

Teasing my husband about his small dick is a form of foreplay for us. For one, it tells my husband that I am thinking about him in a sexual way. Secondarily, we can do this at any time of the day, meaning that my pussy can be wet literally most of the day, making me very receptive when sex does finally occur.

Finally, teasing my husband reassures him that not only do I accept him for who he is, but also that I want him.

Safe Environment for Teasing

The title of this section is Safe Environment because everybody's tastes in this area varies. This is a very personal thing, and we all have things that we are sensitive about, so I will only tell you how I do it and if it sounds of interest to you then you can try it out for yourself.

That said, adapting these ideas into your own repertoire of tricks may be of some use to you and your spouse.

RULES:

1. Communication: Communication should be the first thing that you do. Since teasing is so personal I can't stress it highly enough. Your spouse may have no interest in sensual teasing or be too sensitive about that which you want to tease them with.

2. Playfulness: When teasing ALWAYS be playful. Usually, when teasing my husband about his little dick, I will be touching him in some way. Sometimes a hand upon his thigh, sometimes brushing my lips on his neck and ear as I whisper sweetly.

3. Smile: Smiling lets him know that I'm having fun with him.

4. Eye Contact: Looking my husband in the eye as I tease him tells him that my attention is focused on him and having fun. Coupled with a smile this reassures him that my teasing, while personal, is just in fun and not meant to hurt.

5. Touching: If I have my hand upon my husband's dick as I tease him about it I can test for his receptiveness. A positive response from his body tells me that he is enjoying himself.

6. Openness: Teasing a man about the size of his dick is fraught with perils. To be honest, I was terrified at first. The ONLY reason I did it the first time is because my husband literally asked me to.

7. Understanding: Understanding WHY the teasing is exciting is more important that the teasing itself. When I first began teasing my husband I was very unsure of myself because I didn't fully understand his emotional motivations. This is why Communication is first on my list, because after much discussion I not only understood him but very much wanted to explore this aspect of his sexuality.

8. Speech: Once I understood my husband's motivations it became much easier for me to tailor the things I said to him. For example, since one of my husband's ex-girlfriends used the word "little" with him I incorporated that word into my teasing. This took away the power she had over his psyche' in this area thereby freeing him from the bondage of the pain she caused.

Things that are said in anger are rarely true in the sense that they are said in order to hurt or anger the other party. Thus, when the things that are said cause emotional pain and damage sometimes the cure is to experience those words in a titillating way. This has worked wonders for my husband's self-image and confidence. Your mileage may vary.

9. Satisfaction: The purpose for teasing my husband is sexual satisfaction. Teasing is different from humiliation. ALWAYS remember that. Teasing is not meant to hurt, and if your husband or wife understands this clearly, then the teasing will usually be fun.

10: Enjoyment: If you are not enjoying yourself your spouse will pick up on that and the teasing will seem perfunctory to them. They probably won't enjoy it very much if you are not having a good time.

Teasing my husband about the size of his dick almost always leads to a sexual encounter later. This is just one of the ways that I let my husband know that I want to have sex with him later.

Sending my husband a text in the middle of the day asking him if his little dick is thinking about me can be very erotic. Who knows what kind of day he is having or if he is stressed at the time, but getting a naughty text from your wife will almost always cheer you up.

Final Thought

It should be readily apparent that any sexual playfulness be wrapped in a caring environment. If this is not true in your case then what I have to say on just about any subject should be considered irrelevant.

In any caring relationship the emotions and mentality of the other needs to be considered prior to engaging with them in risky sexual scenarios. I knew my husband's mind on things well before I was a participant in this fetish.

Teasing, especially sexual teasing, is a risky proposition. And just because your husband may say he wants it doesn't necessarily mean that he will respond the way he thinks he will.

In my case small dick teasing works wonderfully. But then again, my husband and I are probably very different than you and your husband. We have different likes, different interests, different education and different experiences. These differences, while perhaps similar in some respects, will change the responses we will have to stimuli.

Please, if you and your husband are curious about exploring something like this then be sure to understand as best you can what the motivations are so that you can avoid pitfalls. Communication is the key friends, communication is the key!

DS