Shadows of the Past

No police officers ever came to my door. No detectives ever questioned me. In the life of the suit, I was nobody of any importance. I didn't exist. It was the one and only time in my life that I ever did anything remotely like that and I did not feel one ounce of regret or remorse.

Time passed and my heart no longer raced whenever I saw a police car. The arctic winds and blinding snow of winter were in full force. I was rising in the dark every morning, driving to work in the dark, going home in the dark, and falling asleep in the dark. A man needs friends to bring light and warmth to his days when winter places its heavy grasp on the world.

A funny thing happened after Cheryl left and I was unaware of it for a long time. Friends and neighbors, up and down the street, started visiting Craig the same way they had visited me shortly after I first moved in. They knew his pain and they reached out to give support in his time of need. In the depths of winter, parties sprang up and Saturday evenings became a time of music, good food, better drink, and laughter. Craig was doing very well and I, it seems, was better, too.

It was at one of these parties thrown by a neighbor down the street that Craig quietly took me aside and said, "I don't know if I ever told you, but I did learn that when Cheryl left me she moved straight in with one of the lawyers in her office. She never spent so much as one night on her own. She just slipped smoothly from one man to the next. I've got to say the anger from that singular act of betrayal pushed a lot of the hurt out of me and became my means of recovery."

"Rejection by someone you love is a hard thing to accept, but I suppose betrayal puts the loss in perspective."

"Funny thing about that lawyer. He got mugged one night coming out of some fancy bar he frequented where all the customers are 'Mr. This' and 'Counselor That'. You'd think their parking lot would be a lot safer."

I wasn't sure how much he might know and looked at him inquisitively.

"Oh, I didn't do it. The police paid me a visit, but I was out on my first date in almost seven years. The date was a bust, but at least I dipped my toe in the dating pool."

He was smiling and for the first time in a long while I knew my friend was going to be okay.

"Come on you two, this is a party! I bet your talking shop. Enough of that. Come on then, back to the music. I expect you both to mingle and have fun tonight!" That was our hostess. If she weren't married, I'd seriously consider...

Time passed and the world grew brighter. Craig was dipping more than his toe in the dating pool and the smile I used to see was back. He inspired me and I started taking the plunge myself. It was awkward at first, but it got easier. We even double dated on occasion.

We built those toys we got so many months ago and finally found the perfect use for them. We gathered up the youngsters from the neighborhood along with enough parents to drive and keep them organized, and we drove west for two hours. With a shoebox carefully fitted with electronics and a small camera, the kids held the weather balloon as we inflated it with helium and tied the shoebox and its parachute on a long cord below the balloon. On the count of 3-2-1-UP we let go of the balloon and watched it rise into the sky. The kids were elated, but for Craig and me it was the celebration of our new lives. His instruments measured the atmosphere as the balloon climbed above 99% of the Earth's air while mine measured the cosmic radiation pouring down from space. The GPS and HAM radio allowed us to track the balloon's progress as the cars drove east following the balloon's path and the Raspberry-Pi gathered the data. The balloon beat us home, but we eventually found it sitting in a field and we all celebrated.

I like to think we might have inspired a few young geeks to follow their dreams that day. Only time will tell. As for the two older geeks, we were putting the pain of the past behind us and moving forward in the warmth and light of the spring sun.

It's midday Saturday on one of those warm days of spring. The sun is out and there is the promise of the coming summer. The snow is gone, the crocuses have bloomed and faded back to the earth, waiting to bloom again. The daffodils are standing tall with their heads looking proudly across the shoots of daylilies breaking the surface. It was a long, dark winter of the soul, but new life is blooming. Life has returned to the land and, finally, also to two men still young and now hopeful as well. Like those daffodils in bloom and the daylilies now rising, we had for a time retreated below the surface where no one could reach us and held to that little spark of life that remained. At long last, it was time to live again.