Shudder - The College Years Ch. 07

When Nevyn had been rejected by his family, he spent nearly a decade blending in, and learning the depth of his power. During this time Nevyn stuck to hopping people that would have been around his own age if he had still had a body, and also his same gender. By doing so, he was able to feel a connection to the body he had lost. He craved normalcy and acceptance, but feared rejection and being punished for someone who could only exist by leeching off the bodies of others. As his soul passed the age of 24, he found himself floating aimlessly, and wished to be free of this world. This was his frame of mind when he succumbed to that age old temptress, love. It was this that would cause him to set foot outside of his self imposed bubble, and take a chance at something real.

Nevyn had been in a new body, in a new town, and was going through the motions of existing. By chance, he passed a church as its bells began to ring. The doors were flung open and its occupants spilled out and formed two orderly lines. Down the middle came a newly married bride and groom, all smiles at their friends and family. All Nevyn could see however, was the bride. He was struck by her beauty. Up until that point in his life, he never acted rashly, and he never hopped publicly. But Nevyn had reached a dangerous point in a young man's life where he was willing to be a little reckless.

Nevyn strode across the street to the couple and watched as they climbed into an open horse drawn carriage that had been prepared for the happy couple's departure. He reached up and extended his hand towards the groom in congratulation. The groom smiled broadly at the stranger below him and accepted the gesture with his own hand. The groom looked puzzled as his hand, then arm began to shudder. Before he could voice any concern, it had passed. The bride watched as her new husband seemed to give orders to the stranger on the street, then turned towards her and looked at her as if for the first time.

From the beginning of his nomadic journey, Nevyn had never hopped anyone married. Some of the boys and young men he had possessed had fancied a girl or two in their life, but Nevyn had not acted on their impulses, choosing to not make any waves. But this impetuous act of hopping a newly married man would be more a tsunami. Nevyn didn't care at that moment because of the way this woman lovingly returned his gaze, as if he were the most important person to her in the world. The way her kind eyes searched his face rekindled a mix of emotions that had been dormant for so long. He felt love, happiness, peace, and hope. It was her soft brown eyes that he loved the most, the way they seemed to draw him in and invite him to share every part of himself with her.

Unfortunately, all those feelings and emotions were horribly misplaced. Her love hadn't been for him. Deep down he knew this, and possibly only wanted a taste of it at first, but like most addictive things, one taste is never enough. The bride put a hand on his leg and she laughed nervously as her hand drew close to her new husband's crotch. Nevyn felt his new loins stir at this contact. Her nervousness clued Nevyn in to the fact that this was all as foreign to her as it was to him. He decided to extend his own hand to her leg, mostly covered by her white dress. She playfully slapped his hand, and when she saw the hurt look on his face, she laughed again and pulled him in for a chaste kiss. Nevyn felt his heart would pound right out of his chest.

As they neared a house on the outskirts of town, the carriage began to slow. Nevyn realized this place must be their destination, and had a surge of panic as he realized he had so far been blind to every detail of this borrowed life. He tried to remain calm as he scanned pertinent details of his host. He was Ned Briar, a young man who had learned to work with his hands under the tutelage of his father. He could build almost anything out of wood, and the house they had stopped in front of, Ned had built for him and his bride. It was a small dwelling, barely enough room for the two of them, but it was theirs, and there was a small shed behind the house for smaller projects Ned could work on.

As Nevyn helped the woman down the carriage steps, he searched Ned's information on his bride. Her name was Bethany Cowell, well, now Bethany Briar. They had courted for some time, helped along frequently by their parents. Their union had been arranged for some time, but Ned and Beth had not minded in the slightest, for they had fancied each other for years. Beth had been longing for the day when she could tell everyone that Ned was her husband.

After Nevyn had helped her from the cart, they both took a moment to admire the house from the outside as the driver and carriage departed. After a minute, Nevyn walked through the front door, leaving Beth outside. He was admiring Ned's craftsmanship when he realized she wasn't with him. Nevyn wondered why and was about to ask when he realized he was about to use his own voice. His excitement at what he had done had made him careless. He found Ned's center again, and when he did so, he understood at once why Beth remained on their front porch. He marched out and hung his head. "I'm very sorry, dear," he said, and gave a small bow.

"Quite all right," she said graciously. "Now if you would please do the honors, I'd like to see the inside of our new home."

Nevyn swept her up into his arms and carried her across the threshold. Beth went room to room and gave little pleased gasps and praised Ned for his handiwork. She made a vocal inventory of things she would still need and where she would put them. Nevyn followed her, pleased at seeing her so happy. When they got to the bedroom, she resumed her list. When she was done she turned towards him and he was struck dumb by the look that was now upon her face. It was a hungry look, but, something more. Nevyn scanned Ned's memories and didn't recognize it there either. Ned was used to a sweet smile or chaste expression when he looked at Beth, but this was something new. In all of Nevyn's other lives he had been in, he had not seen this particular expression, for he too had been a virgin. He had always shied away from relationships, sexual or otherwise, so both he and Ned were equally in the dark.

"Husband," she purred, then giggled at the fact that she could now call this man husband. She said it again, slightly deeper this time, and with a need, "Husband, I want you to know that I don't care about any of those things really, as long as I have you. Do you feel the same way about me?"

"Y-yes," Ned stammered. "As long as I have you, nothing else matters."

Her smile was radiant and seemed to light up the room. "Then I think it's time you have all of me." She walked to him and kissed him. Nevyn slipped out of Ned's center and for a moment didn't know what to do as her tongue slipped into his mouth. He found it again and discovered she and Ned had only exchanged a peck or two. Ned had no tips for him here other than to wonder how Beth seemed to know how to do this. Nevyn responded with eagerness though and was a fast learner. Soon his hands were pawing at the outside of her dress, touching her bosom like a man who has never wanted something more in his life. She laughed at him as she broke away, then turned her back to him. "If you please?"

Nevyn didn't understand, then took her meaning. He began to unfasten several intricate bows that held her dress close to her delicate frame. Even though each knot only took the slightest tug to unravel, he fumbled more than once as his hands shook. His nervousness and the way his fingers occasionally traipsed against her revealed skin made her desire him all the more. Her breath quickened and she longed for him to hurry, but also wanted this moment to last forever.

When he was finished, he announced it with a voice that simply quivered, "Done."

She slowly turned around, her arms clutched to the front of the dress so that it did not fall. She took in his gaze that seemed to wander all over her, trying to peer through the thick fabric. His breathing too had quickened and when his eyes finally found hers, she let the dress fall. She stood there in a tight, white undergarment. The sight of something so plain did nothing to diminish the eroticism. This was way more of a woman's flesh than Nevyn had ever seen. He extended a hand to touch her again, but she stepped back. She pulled the undergarment down, and her breasts came into view. Nevyn couldn't think as all the blood had left Ned's brain. He stared unabashedly at her, drinking her in. When she stood completely naked before him, she pointed at him, indicating his clothes that he still wore, and prodded, "Well?"

As Nevyn hastened to remove his formal garments, he internally laughed at the difference. Her unveiling had been one of grace and beauty. His was a wild, clumsy attempt to get naked as quickly as possible, even if he had to tear his clothes. At last they both stood there completely nude. Her eyes fixated on his penis, the first one she had seen. It appeared odd to her as it stood straight out from her husband's body. She unconsciously licked her lips and curiosity moved her hand forward to touch it. As she made contact, she was delighted at the happy moan that escaped her husband's lips. With her other hand, she clasped one of his, and brought it up to her breast. He began to squeeze it softly, and she moved the hand up to his face. There they stood for an eternal few seconds, exploring one another as they gazed into each other's eyes. Then their mouths met again, and they fell onto the bed.

Neither knew what to do, but Nevyn tried to take the lead. He kissed her everywhere, inspected her every curve, and Beth let him do so. At last, she decided he was taking too long, and she pulled him to her. She tried to maneuver him to a position where he would go inside of her, but they couldn't find a way that worked until the fourth attempt. When Nevyn slid into her, he had never known such bliss. She cried out, but clung to him when he tried to withdraw from her. They both lay there for a moment, neither moving, just getting used to the sensation. She moved first, and when she did, Nevyn felt his borrowed loins surge and compel his hips to move in response.

Their first time did not move mountains, but it was slow and tender. It was also briefly marred by Nevyn's conscience. As he looked into Beth's smiling face, saw her react with pleasure at their ministrations, he came to grips with what he had done. For the last several years, he had been focused on survival and staying hidden. He had learned a great deal how to use his ability to this end, but he had never formed attachments. The second he felt like he was connecting with someone, he felt a pang of neglect and remorse, for it was not truly him that was making the connection. Nevyn had felt a spark for this girl, so he had put himself in the position of having her. And now he had taken Ned's wedding night from him. Nevyn felt guilt begin to overwhelm him and he stopped mid thrust. Beth refused to let him off easy though, and she began moving with vigor and determination that drove Nevyn's conscience to the back of his mind as he came.

Nevyn lay in Ned's body, panting, and hoping to get to do that again sometime. Beth held him for a minute before whispering in his ear, "Can you do it again soon?"

He laughed at this and looked at her. Ned's feelings for this woman were all there and Nevyn allowed them to blend with the lust he felt for her. Nevyn claimed all those feelings and emotions as his own. He would risk life with this woman. He deserved a chance at happiness, even if it was in the guise of someone else. He resolved then and there to make her happier than the real Ned ever would have.

The next two years flew by and would be the best of Nevyn's very long life. Nevyn worked with Ned's father building houses for the town. He got to know the people, helping out where he could. He was on his way to becoming a pillar of the community, and at the end of every day, he got to go home to the kindest, prettiest woman he had ever met. They made love so often in those first two years that Nevyn eventually had to craft them a new bed. While he built it, he smiled the entire time.

Nevyn loved this new life completely. He would occasionally scold himself for being a self imposed hermit for so long. But there was another part of him that argued that this was not his life. It argued strongly that Beth did not love him, but the body he had stolen. This thought plagued him the most as he gazed into her eyes when they made love. In his insecure youth, he wanted to confess to her, to tell her who he really was, but he knew it could ruin everything.

More than once Beth had seen her husband shudder. She hadn't noticed them at first, as he had always tried to hide them. To Nevyn, they represented a sign to the outside world of who he really was. But as he let his guard down, he made less effort to keep them a secret. Beth would be talking to him and watch as his whole body would quake, and then become perfectly still. After one such incident, she had implored him to visit the local apothecary, but he had firmly declined. They were becoming less and less frequent the longer he was in Ned, so he saw no need to submit to anything that could expose him.

Nevyn was content to let everything stay the same forever. But change is inevitable. One day when he came home from a hard day at work, his wife was at the door to greet him. She was visibly excited and had prepared his favorite meal. She told him to sit and eat but before a bite passed his lips, she gushed, "I have wonderful news! I'm pregnant!"

Ned's face contorted. To Beth, he must have looked horror stricken. A simple truth was now added to the subtle guilt that was always milling about in the background of his mind. This would not be his child. What had he expected to happen? They were having sex all the time. Sex leads to babies, he knew that much, but was he willing to be this child's father? Would he take that away from Ned as well?

Beth was on the verge of crying as she asked, "What's wrong, husband? Are you not pleased? Don't you want to bring another Briar into this world?"

And there it was. The straw that broke the camel's back. The child would be a member of the Briar family. It was not his child, but belonged to the body that he wore as a suit. The voice in his mind that always shamed him for what he had done finally won out as Nevyn spoke to clear his conscience. "Bethany, dear, I...I am pleased, but, I feel I must tell you something. I am not really Ned Briar. My name is Nevyn." Just being able to say his name felt like a great burden lift from his shoulders, but it also was the scariest thing he had ever done. The first part of the confession out, he let loose his entire story.

Over the course of the next hour, Bethany felt her world ripped out from under her. This man she had known from her youth, had spent countless hours with, fallen in love with, given herself completely to, was either an imposter, or crazy. The prospect of either being true led her to breakdown in tears near the end of his narrative. As he recounted seeing her from a stranger's eyes on her wedding day, and the compulsion to get close to her, she yelled, "No more!" and ran outside.

Nevyn followed her. He feared a repeat of the rejection his family had given him. He couldn't let that happen again. He saw her on the edge of their property, looking up at the stars that had come out during his tale. He approached her cautiously, as if she were a frightened deer that might scamper off. When he was a few yards from her, she turned towards him and ordered, "Stop! Come no further."

He obliged and just stared at her, his heart in his throat, hoping beyond hope that she could forgive him for the grievous act of duplicity he had committed. Beth met his eyes, and for a moment, that same sweet gaze was there. Beth saw her husband. He acted like her Ned in every way she could remember. He knew all their story, knew how to make her laugh and smile. But it was tainted now by lies or insanity, she knew not which. Her smile slipped. She wiped away tears and tried to keep her voice steady as she asked, "So, you're saying the day we wed, you have not been my husband, my Ned?"

"I have not, and I am sorry. I acted like a fool and thought that I could..."

"Can you prove this to me somehow?" she demanded. She had set her jaw and it was clear she was taking him seriously, but wanted evidence.

The entirety of his relationship with her, Nevyn had sounded like her husband. Now, he dropped Ned's center, and spoke in his own voice. "This is the real me. This is what I really sound like."

She gasped, for she had never heard her husband's voice have that distinct lower tone or pitch. But she still doubted. "It is a trick. Unless you can show me something else, I think you should come with me tomorrow to see the town healer."

Nevyn did not want to scare her further, but also wanted her to believe him. He looked to his left and saw the lamp light of their closest neighbor. "Follow me," he said.

He began walking towards the house, hoping she would come along. He was encouraged as he heard her footsteps behind him. When they came within a stone's throw of the front door, Nevyn beckoned Bethany to join him. She hesitated, but knew it would look awkward with her standing so far back from the man that was supposed to be her husband. She came up alongside him, but did not touch him. They walked the rest of the way together, and Nevyn knocked on the door.

There was a hurried shuffling from within at the arrival of unexpected guests. But in no time, an older gentleman opened the door. He was carrying a lantern and shone it in their faces. He squinted at them, and then turned back to yell into the house, "Martha, it's the Briar's. Put a kettle on." He turned back to them and gestured for them to come inside. "Come in you two. What brings you out to see us old folks at such a late hour?"

"Thank you, Henry," Ned's voice said. "We won't be but a minute."

They followed Henry into a small living room and offered his guests the only two seats. Ned continued to stand, but advised his bride to sit in the rocking chair. Then he extended a hand to Henry as if to greet him, and Henry, confused though he was, accepted.

When their hands touched, Henry's began to shudder. Henry's face grew more confused, but before he could comment on this peculiarity, he went perfectly still. Then Henry looked at Beth in the eye, and Nevyn's voice came from his mouth. "It's me dear. Everything I told you was true. This is what I can do, and how I can do it. I merely have to touch someone, and my soul can travel into them, and I become them."

Bethany's mouth hung open and her breath became shallow. "I...I don't believe..."

Martha, a short, squat, gray haired woman came in smiling at the surprise visit from their neighbors. "Well bless me. What brings you two to visit us on this fine evening?"

Henry said nothing but continued to look at Beth in the eyes while he placed a hand on Martha's shoulder. Her shoulder began to shudder and she looked quizzically into her husband's face as she said, "Henry, my shoulder seems to be acting up. I..."

Henry's hand dropped from her shoulder and Martha's eyes locked onto Beth's. Nevyn's voice again was heard from another's lips. "You have to believe me Beth."

Bethany understood why she had been told to sit down. Had she been standing, she would have fainted. She looked at Ned's body and studied his face. It was vacant and expressionless. "Are they...can they hear us?"

"Not while they're in this state," Nevyn answered. "While I'm inside someone or a short time after I've left, they'll remember only what I want them to during the, uh...experience."