All Comments on 'Slices Of Small Town Life Ch. 04'

Was a great ride, but why the jumping back and forth between time periods at the end? Got really convoluted for no discernible reason. Not to mention all the unexplained/unintended name changes.

Felt like this story had to be dragged over the finish line and certainly was staggering all over the place link a drunken sailor. Other than losing Charley for good Rose never got any real consequences for her sluttish behavior. She was pretty much a slut to the bitter end until her old cunt dried up and she finally lost interest in sex.

Would have thought that Charley would have pulled all his business dealings from Rose's business which should have at least severely impacted business of the office in their hometown area. Also expected that Rose would have become more of a pariah in the local community and be forced to move farther away.

Also, no way Charley gifts his cheating ex-wife with a cruise for her and her new hubby when she remarries the older schmuck who was cool with her playing around because he was an impotent old fart looking company.

Kind of expected a big reveal where Charley finds out Faith Senior wasn't his daughter since Rose had been cheating on him a lot longer then he knew. Would seem logical to occur considering how fucked up Rose was. Then maybe, Charley would have gone nuclear on Rose.

Too bad Carla never found out her husband Jimmy cheated on her with the three way with Rose and Sheriff Andy. Since Charley found out about Rose and the Sheriff I'm surprised the surveillance didn't pick up Jimmy's involvement. As found as Charley was of Carla noway he keeps that information to himself.

great story, I was looking for a little more retribution for all assholes screwing his wife but the trainer appealed to Charlie's reason and intelligence. I have to agree, if someone close to you hurts and takes away the trust you had in them you just need to walk away and refuse to around bad untrustworthy people.

Qhml1 shows again why he the best story teller ever in LW. I loved the Charley character, with his generosity and his resolve. No one cheated, or wronged him without paying a hard price. Rose lost so much more than she realized when she lost Charley. She was nothing more than a rich, old, whore to be used and laughed at. Charley lost nothing and gained a whole new family when he cut her loose. Just an epic story in all respects.

and no one flaunts it, Because it was all earned. TK U MLJ LV NV

Charlie was no CUCK!!! A real MAN!!!

Boy was I wrong...with all of the twists and turns here...and how this guy handles his problems...and it was a joy to read...this is just a love story....and I loved it......

This would have been so much better and less confusing without duplicate names appearing for different characters throughout, especially when combined with getting them incorrect, or switching from third person to first person and back, sometimes within a single sentence.

Loved the story, start to end.

Decent story,would have been better,but for the vague he said,she said parts when it is hard to know who is talking.

Good story. Lost track a couple of times. Didn't particularly like that Charley was so old when he remarried. And had a kid. The very end was unnecessary.

Cousin Cindy and her 5(?) kids moved in with Charley senior on page 2. Why is Charley fucking Connie on page 4 when Rose visit’s Charley senior’s house?

got to repeating itself and way over the top. Charley was even a better man than God and Jesus. LOL. Did the the 2 workers at the Jewelry Store splitting up to spread the news and Charley telling his Adim. ass't the wrong diner for his lunch, LOL

I agree, compelling story. I loved the pictures you painted. It felt like reading John Grisham.

Fantastic story. The world could use more Charley's. Thanks for writing.

Went way overboard, becoming laughable. By the end, I hated Charley more than Bobbi, and of course, you totally fucked up Bobbi's ending too.

Ah well.

I didn't think Rose's cheating and depravity could get any worse till Andy. The story really shows the difference to a life lovingly fulfilled and one lustfully empty. The cheating sadness is overcome by faithful love.

It was kinda hard to follow at times but I just read and ignored names then.

I liked the ending so I Gus’s I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

Bill S.

and possibly to continue an old rant here -

Noting the comment by the PI characters about "random acts of kindness" might give some insight into what the author thought of his protagonist.

In hindsight, I think he may have also been giving insight into the current cultural divide in the nation.

Green-something

Loved it, but did kind of get lost in all the names. After a while I just didn't worry about them any more.

Jim

Those with problems with the names and he said/she said need to quit speed reading. A good story is to be savored, not treated like Dick and Jane. Thanks Q.

somewhere east of Omaha

The multitude of names is very difficult to follow. The end result of the story us very good. Thx. I also appreciated the fact that you tied up the loose ends.

5*

BJ

Another one very well done. I read here for entertainment, relaxation, a bit of titillation, and just 'because'... I don't care if some spelling, grammar, character names or other errors slip past the editors and proofreaders.

I like what you write and your creativity, and am envious of it, as a mildly frustrated writer myself.

But reading you, StanStar, George Anderson. Zeb Carter, and so many others is getting to me to the point I might just take a shot at it myself.

Maybe...

...here's another "5" for all of the reasons above.

EastCoaster

reread for me. would have been a 5 star story like most of yours but, I just couldn't get over how wealthy Charley had become, Rose also.

Where was Connie when Cindy was in the House and vice-versa? Speed reading and skipping over names would maybe make this thing more readable. Had to slip down to a 3 'cause I couldn't figure out who the girl friend was at any given time.

MY goodness! It seems the senior Charley had three wives Rose Cindy and Connie How the third one came about isn't recorded. Did he and Connie have any kids? Which one/ones belonged to Connie?

batmitton - BADMINTON!

Great story, but the name changes suck and make it hard to follow at times. Cindy's name changed to Connie during the trip to buy her a car; went out with Charley that morning as Cindy and sometime during the visit to the dealership she must have had a legal name change to Connie. There are quite a few other errors and word omissions in the story also. You might consider getting a few people to help proofread your stuff before publishing. With that said, I still gave you a 5 star rating for a bang up story.

Excellent work. Embraced all the complications of realistic characters in a small town. I still cant shake the feeling that Rose got off way too easy. Oh well.

5 stars for this last chapter - I liked it.

Not one of your best, but not one of your worst either.

This chapter was the worst of the series, as you went back and rehashed in excessive detail things that you had already covered in a more appropriate segment. Add in all of the time jumps as you were simply writing sections to check off the things you couldn't work into the story proper and it was a struggle to give it a 3 to match the earlier chapters. I probably should have given it the 2 it earned, but I figured you were running out of gas after including so many extraneous words and took pity on you.

Deputy Williams lucked out? Also should do a DNA test on Faith.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Meandering and loooong. Rose was a contemptible, irredeemable bitch. Even after being confronted, she still kept flirting and scoping out the next guy to bed. Somehow after 20 years of marriage, some wire got crossed and she got a thrill from illicit sex regardless of its objective quality, akin to a drug addict need a hit on a regular basis. She was a mental trainwreck. Really coukd care less about her after first chapter.

Something a bit different with a bit of an edge. Boy, Q! You are just full of stories…

Small. Town life. What else is there to do but fish, football, and fu..ool around? Yeah, I know! Run down to the IGA for a MoonPie

10 on the five scale. On to the next story!

Loved the story. My only issue is the back and forth in time with this one. I found it a bit hard to read in spots because of it

Really like this series but I personally struggled with some of the time shifts and same name different people. Had to read chapters more than once to get it straight in my head. But overall an enjoyable read. Thanks for submitting this. BardnotBard

Really enjoyed the story but wished there was more dialogue about the ex after he got married to Connie.

"She saw him and Jose go behind one of the fertilizer buildings. When she got there, Juan was out cold. Daddy was standing there rubbing bruised hands, and he reached down, pulled Carlos up" - He and Jose went behind the building, Juan was out cold,he pulled Carlos up? How many guys were there?

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First, I want to answer one of my own questions, why it took 10 months to be operating in the black since she had no debt. I was confusing debt with operating expenses. She didn't have any debt, but she DID have expenses: Salaries, supplies, utilities, etc. It took 10 months before her income exceeded her expenses.

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"Her hair was styled in a way she hadn't worn in years, one she knew he favored." - If she knew he favored a certain hair-style, why hadn't she worn it in years?

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"No, Rose, I won't promise that. I will promise when the time comes, I'll think about it." - She asked him to consider it, he said, no, he'll think about it. Isn't that really the same thing?

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"He visits from time to time" - Okay, she was away the last time, but is this only the second time he's been there? He's new there, but he visits from time to time?

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I don't care for the jumping around in time.

Loved this story. One of my favorites. Only issue I had was the mixing up of some of the names.

good story a bit confusing at times with people with same names and having to wait to end to find out what happened to the cat, 5 stars from me

Has this author ever written a story where the slut suffered any consequences other than a divorce? Any woman punished in any way, ever?

Here the husband goes after every other man he can find out about, that ever touched his wife. Ruins most of them. Does nothing to the slut at all!

I don’t understand those who feel the need to only punish those who made no promises to him, and let walk away the traitors who violate their marriage contract.

ZK

Thank you Q, I always enjoy your tales.

somewhere east of Omaha

The Sheriff reflected a little as he drove away. He would never have thought Rose would cheat on Charley.

.

Confusing that these lines were in the story since clearly Andy *knew* she would cheat since she cheated *with* him. And it feels like he's thinking "I can't believe Rose would cheat on Charlie" not "wow, before I nailed Rose I never figured she'd cheat on Charlie".

I’ll never understand how anyone could write a story, proofread a story, and not realize they changed one of the more major character’s name in the middle of the story. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Cindy-Connie, I mean come on

At times this was totally confusing and the roll call at the end didn't help.

I really enjoy your writing and hope to read many more of them. How about another western. Live long and prosper.

Fun, thank you.

Going to miss your stories. Do mend well.

Way too confusing with everyone having the same name. I couldn't keep track of who was who much of the time which makes for a really crappy reading experience. Plus you kept flipping between calling Connie, Cindy.

After a while I just quit trying to figure out who all the players were and kept reading. Still give the story a five because it was entertaining and worth reading even if a bit confusing. As soon as the story said that Chaley was not backing Andy for Sheriff, I knew who the unnamed cheater was. Thought the part with Bobby being turned was a little overboard, but then I've never been someone's bitch, so who knows?

Oh, BTW, if I were Charley and Connie called me an old goat one more time, we would have had a come to Jesus meeting right then. Forgot to add that in my original comment.