Slip of the Tongue

"Just like I said, Mom, I don't think counseling will do a bit of good. The only piece of information I want to know is where I failed as a husband. There had to be something I did or did not do for Susan to cheat. And it's not like she was really looking to replace me. Clive has a reputation as a ladies' man. He'd never want to marry her and I'm sure she knew that." I was trying to avoid the words that came to mind, like pussy hound, scumbag, asshole. Neither of these women deserved to have me go off on them, but I was on edge and about to blow. "Other than a good f.." I stopped myself again, "uhh a good time in bed or a little extra excitement on the side, I can't really see it. I thought we had a good thing."

"You can imagine how I've felt since I found out. Like you said Mom, I'd been on a high thinking I was going to be a father. Then last week I get blown out of the water. My whole world exploded. To be honest, right now I hope I am NOT the father." Both women looked shocked at that statement. "Then I don't have to be a part time Dad. To be honest, I'm not sure I can stand to deal with Susan even if the baby is mine. That alone will take some serious counseling. "

The nurse came out of the room. "Mr Fontenot, your wife would like to speak with you. She said she knew you were still here or her mother would have come back by now." The nurse was sympathetic with my feelings as well or at least seemed so. She still stopped me to say, "If you go back in there, I hope you can stay relatively calm. I know you are upset, but try not to agitate her too much. We'd really prefer to not have to sedate her. She is due to be discharged this afternoon."

"Plus it will not be good to have extra meds that might get transferred to the baby via her milk. And from your childbirth classes I know you are aware of how important the colostrum and early mother's milk is to boost the baby's immune system." I nodded. Now she was appealing to my concern for the child's well-being whether it was mine or not.

"Go talk to her." Mom suggested gently. "Toni and I will go have a cup of coffee. Give me your car keys. We'll transfer the car seat. I'll wait for you to get finished talking. Oh and on your way out, stop by the nursery and take a good look at Connie. I think she looks a lot like you did when you were born."

"Wishful thinking, Mom? Or are you seeing what you expected to see?" I asked. She shrugged. I could tell she was not at all happy with how things appeared. I also knew if I was the father, she'd be right there to help raise the baby whether I had much to do with Susan or not. She had been as heavily invested in being a grandmother as I was to be a father. I could tell she had not come to grips the kid might not be her grandchild.

I stepped into the room. Susan took one look at me and burst into tears again. "You must hate me!" she sobbed.

"No, I don't hate you. That's the problem. I hate what you did and I am so pissed off I can't see straight." I said in as quiet a voice as I could muster. I wanted to slap the piss out of her and walk away. If it were not for the slim possibility of the baby being mine, I would have left already. Plus I wanted a few answers.

"Do you really want to talk now or do you want a few extra days to think about how you want to spin the story?" I said with an obvious edge to my voice.

"I don't need a few days, I..." Susan began when I cut her off despite my wanting answers.

"Yeah, you've had nine months to think about what you might say if I ever found out about you cheating with that bastard, Clive Adams. Clive Adams of all fucking people!!" I seethed. I stopped to take a few deep breaths.

"No, I really did not consider he might be the Daddy. That was you. I was having our baby, not his." Susan said.

"YOUR baby. I just might be the father, but that is doubtful." To give her credit, she looked shocked. "Oh, come on. I was still offshore on a rig the first week in July when you supposedly got pregnant. At least most of it as I got back towards the end of the week. I checked back and looked at my work schedules for that time frame to make sure. Yeah, I remember we made up for lost time and screwed like monkeys as soon as I got home like we usually do. Or rather DID. I thought that's how we got you pregnant. That's what I told guys at work later. I had no idea Clive was putting it to you at the same time." Susan began to protest.

I cut her off. "Alright, the weeks before, right up until I got off the helicopter. Did you have him over at the house while I was gone? Move him in? Did you fuck him in our bed? Not that it matters where you screwed him, just that you did."

"NO!" Susan exclaimed. "He never came to the house except those few times when we hosted barbecues and invited people from work. We were very careful. We would not risk a neighbor seeing him or a strange car at the house."

"But you were not careful enough to not get pregnant. I'm betting he did not use condoms. So you can't claim one broke. Clive hits me as a guy to take risks or at least push the envelope as long as he comes out on top. I did get checked for STD's this past week. I suggest you get screened anyway." I said. Barely audible, Susan muttered it was part of her early pregnancy examinations. "I didn't think that is routine." I offered, a little surprised.

"I told my doctor I wanted to make sure you hadn't caught something while away on business." Susan said, sheepishly.

I'd spend two or three weeks on one oil rig or another and then two weeks home. Sometimes, my time home got cut short if there was a problem I needed to troubleshoot. I was well compensated for my time away so it was never an issue. Until now.

I stared at her. "So your OB-GYN thinks I may have been the one cheating. You gave her that impression instead of coming clean." I know my face was hot. What her doctor thought was really low on the totem pole but it still irritated me Susan was ready to project her own cheating onto me.

"I have a few questions I'd really like answered. The first is WHY? What made you want to screw somebody else? The second is why him? And why would you would risk letting Clive knock you up? Why didn't you go back on the pill and just say you wanted to wait longer before trying for a baby so you could screw him without the risk?" I was trying really hard to not get angry.

"I don't know. I was lonely. You were gone a lot. I was horny and Clive was there. We started talking and next thing I knew we were having sex. I knew he was not interested in a long term relationship."

"As the next question, I'd already started seeing Clive before we decided I'd go off my birth control. He hates condoms. I'd douche after I had sex with him to lessen the risk a bit. I know that is not the best preventative, but I thought it'd be the best way."

"Keeping your legs together in the first damn place would have been a better way." I muttered sarcastically. Susan looked like she'd been slapped. I hoped she would not shut down on me before I had my other questions answered.

"So you cheated on me for about four months before you actually got pregnant. And continued for two more afterwards." I offered, just to move the conversation on.

Susan nodded. "I suspected I was pregnant but I did not want to give up the sex until I was sure. I sort of rationalized it by telling myself if I was already pregnant it didn't matter if I kept seeing him. I heard you tell our Moms Clive broke it off with me. That was true. He did not want to keep risking you'd catch us and he'd be stuck supporting the baby if it was his."

"So you discussed the possibilities with him." I said.

Susan nodded. "Of course. We both figured you'd never realize Connie wasn't yours and there was a great chance she is. When you got home that first week in July, we screwed all the time. Clive and I did not see each other at all when you were home," Susan reported.

"So you had sex with Clive whenever I was offshore, earning a living so I could pay for that big house where we were going to raise our family and that fancy car you just loved to drive. Did you start an affair to get back at me for being away? Or.." I started to say 'were you just a horny slut' but curbed my tongue. "Did he have a bigger cock or was his fucking you just that much better?"

She'd answered the question before, but it still bothered me.

She shook her head in denial. Of what, I was not certain. "It was just sex. I was horny when you were gone. Clive and I only had sex when you were out of town. We went to his house three or four evenings a week. We were really careful. I didn't stay over all the time. And I tried to make it appear I was mostly home. We never did anything at work to let on we were more than friendly coworkers. We never took off early or anything like that. I'd pull into his garage so nobody saw me. "

"And no, his cock is not bigger at all and he is not any better at sex. We never did anything you and I don't do on a regular basis. It was just he was there when you weren't. It was fun and exciting. That's about the best way to describe it."

"And no I did not do it to get back at you. It was something I did for me. It started because I was a little lonely and you know how much I like sex. Clive was putting the moves on me and I was mildly flattered. He convinced me or I convinced myself there was no harm if you never knew. I was totally yours when you were home."

Now that got my goat. No matter how many times she said it or how she rationalized it, I could not accept it. "If you were mine only when I was home, you were not totally mine." I said with what I hoped was an even stare. "You were married to me but somebody else's slut." I could not suppress saying that.

"You were very careful to not get caught. But then you got pregnant. I suppose you never thought of a couple things. What I might do if someday I found out our oldest child was not mine. Like through some fluke such as a difference in blood type. Or her not looking like our other kids. And that was even if you did not cheat on me again and let some new guy knock you up the next time. Or go back to Clive for another kid." I added bitterly.

Susan shook her head frantically. "No. I vowed never to mess around on you again. And I knew once you bonded, you would never leave Connie even if you weren't the sperm donor. Look how you've been acting. Like our Moms said, you are already totally invested in that baby. Clive agreed."

"Couple things. I suppose you kept talking to Clive about the possibility he was the father. You said he called yesterday to check on you. And obviously you two discussed how to handle me to keep me in the dark and my possible reaction in the future." Susan began to wring her hands. "And the operative word is WAS as in 'I was invested in being that baby's Daddy'. Both Moms noticed I have not once held her. I have not changed her diaper, nor swaddled her. I have not even got much more than a quick look at her from several feet away. I'll try to change that if the DNA test shows I am the father after all."

"Tell me something. You never really cared if I was the father or Clive, did you?" I asked. I was not surprised when she answered.

"Well, of course I wanted you to be the father. But after I found out I was expecting, I just wanted the baby. I knew it would be cute and you would never suspect. You and Clive don't look that different. Same color hair and build. You'd be her Daddy and it would never matter. I hoped to have you be around more to be with both of us."

"You know full well I have already started cutting my time offshore. I gave up some of that great bonus money and started spending more time in the office instead, coordinating activities from there. I happily took the pay cut. You've been happy I was home more or so I thought."

"If my being away was such an issue you should have said something long ago. All you would have had to do was ask. I was doing it all for you. Well, that is gonna change for sure if I am not the father. It's back to the rigs."

"I'm gonna work out there until I find a woman who wants to be with me and ONLY me. Not a slut who can't keep her wedding vows intact and her legs together when I am not around." I said hotly.

Susan began to cry again. "But I need you to help me take care of the baby! We are a family! What about us? We've done great for the past seven months. I've been the best wife. I never even looked at another man. We could go to counseling!"

"Right now, I'm not sure there is an "us" anymore. We'll have to work something out if I turn out to be the father. For now I won't be around. Not until I get the DNA results. I've already moved my clothes and most of the stuff I care about keeping." That shocked her. She asked where I was going. "I got an apartment. I did that last week. I wanted to wait until you had the baby before moving out. Toni is going to stay with you for the time being. My Mom might help some too. I know she wants to. She is praying it's her grand-baby."

I turned and walked out. Susan was crying but not the hysterical bawling like earlier. I almost ran square into Toni and my mother who had obviously been listening at the door.

"Yeah, so I listened. Sue me." Toni said. "Don't go too far. Maybe you two can still reconnect especially if Connie is yours," she added hopefully.

"Seriously? You said you listened. Did you not catch on to a couple very pertinent facts like she never once said she was sorry she cheated? She has no regrets. She simply said she was lonely and horny and how unfair that was for her. She did not even seem to be concerned I may not be the father. She just expects me to pick up the pieces and accept things. That is pure fucking evil!"

Toni looked shocked at my vehemence. Her eyes filled with tears. Mom tried to calm things down.

"We moved the car seat and got it buckled in." Mom said. "I'm going to pack a bag and help for a few days even if you are not the father. Sue has been my daughter for the past six years. I can't just give up on her, yet. Now don't get me wrong. I don't condone what she did. What she did pisses me off too. If she had not just had a baby I think both Toni and I would slap the shit out of her for being so stupid."

I told them where my new apartment was when they asked. I did not tell them I'd consulted an attorney and had already protected my half of our assets after paying off and canceling our credit cards. I simply locked our investment accounts. Neither of us could touch that money without the other or a court order. I told the lawyer to draw up the papers citing adultery, even though that would not be an issue in our state.

Susan might be stuck at home for the next few days but that did not mean she could not do something with our money online. I would rather be safe than sorry. I had been ninety nine percent sure our marriage was over. The one percent was the niggling doubt because up until a week ago I'd been happily married. And that one percent had just been dumped in the trash. I knew I could never trust her again.

I phoned Steve on my way home, or rather to my new apartment. Right now I could use a drinking buddy. I'd arranged to take a few weeks off work when the baby came to help get my wife get settled, the male version of maternity leave. At the moment, I did not want to be by myself.

Steve could easily get away during the day so he met me at the bar. He worked for his father in law's company and did not think he'd have his job much longer anyway. Not after Cheryl's confession.

"I take it you confronted Susan," he began. I nodded and told him how the conversation went down. "Well, I've been to the same lawyer you saw. Good thing is Cheryl's Dad insisted on a prenup when we got married. He wanted to protect his business and she owns a chunk of stock. Not that she gets paid any dividends or has any real say but he needed her on the books to fulfill some kind of legal requirement as a person on the board of directors. She'll keep that stock but I'll get almost everything else."

We'd talked already and he knew Susan would get half of our community property which was a pretty decent amount. We both worked for our whole marriage and she earned a good salary. I hoped to raise enough fuss to not have to pay her alimony. I figured Toni might help with that. And child support was only an issue if the baby was mine. I still had my doubts. "I'm gonna get stung." I groused. "The courts are gonna nail me even though I did nothing wrong."

"Larry and I went to see Don Ducotte, Sandy's husband and told him about his wife and Clive." Steve said. "Like I figured, he about blew a gasket. Larry, being a cop, warned him about doing anything stupid." I agreed. "Don was pissed at us and couldn't believe we were going to let Clive get away with making us cuckolds. He called us pussies for not kicking Clive's ass as soon as we found out."

"Larry surprised the shit out of me when he said. 'Who the fuck said anything about letting the bastard get away. I said don't do anything stupid. That means anything to get caught. Clive is not worth going to jail over because you do something rash."

"Don may have a quick temper but he is not dumb." Steve said. "He said, 'so I need to make sure I'm not caught when 'somebody' takes Clive's balls off'. We joked about that, and he calmed down enough to sit still. You know we gotta do something to fix the son of a bitch."

"I agree. Clive needs to be taken down, but it has to be done just right, and destroying his testes is not the right approach." I told him how Clive had called Susan, supposedly to check on her and the baby, but to really make sure I was still in the dark.

Steve looked at me like I lost my mind. "You can't let him get away with that! He can still pay child support if he is a eunuch. And he has to answer for destroying marriages. Yours, mine, and probably Don's. Larry may stay with Lana for the time being. He is on the fence because they have two kids. What he does depends on how Lana acts when he confronts her. He is going to do that tonight. He was only holding off on account of you."

"Well, Clive is going to find out his game is up as soon as these women warn him. He might not stick around long. His problem is, he can always be found." I said. "People don't realize just how hard it is to stay off the grid. You can't earn a good income being paid cash under the table. Not one like Clive would want."

"Make no mistake. His ass is toast. But if we know of four women he screwed, there has to be others. It's like looking for a needle in the haystack. If you shake a handful of hay and four needles pop out at your feet, the whole stack has to be full of needles. We need to find other husbands who might not be happy about his activities." I said. "Now as far as nailing his balls, no matter what, I'd rather see he keeps at least one intact and uninjured."

Steve looked puzzled so I explained. "If he loses both, he can take hormones supplements and still screw. Or he might just lose his sex drive. I'd rather his sex drive stay intact but do something to his cock. Like wrap a wire around it so it dies or maybe smash it with a hammer. He'd stay horny but not have the equipment to do anything about it. Plus the anguish of losing his cock would be both physical and mental."

Steve began to laugh. I knew eventually he would get with both Larry and Don and tell them my idea. He'd talked with them already and knew they were primed.

Like I'd told him, maybe Clive had used the same sales pitch with their wives and revealed names of other lovers. We could let others know. He called Larry and Don before we left the bar.

Two days later I stopped by the house Susan and I had shared. Toni answered the door. "You didn't waste any time, did you?" she asked bitterly. "Sue was served this morning. She's done nothing but cry since. The only times she seems to get a grip and can control it is when she feeds and rocks Connie."