Small Cock Frustration

In 2007 I suffered from a severe medical condition which required extensive surgery. The procedure saved my life but the removal of my prostate, bladder, and extensive nerve damage left me without a functioning sex ability. My cock and balls remained outwardly normal but they were not doing what they were supposed to do. The relationship with my wife became strained as she was not satisfied with my sexual performance. This increased tension resulted in her seeking other outlets.

Initially Carla sought an outlet by getting a job and volunteering for various community activities. This grew into more and more time away from home and weekends with the girls. That left me alone more often and also frustrated. The lack of attention and desire built in me to the point I was frustrated and angry at my situation and inability to please my wife. I needed to find someway to find relief.

The internet provided an opportunity to look at porn. As soon as my wife was out of the house for the evening or on a “weekend with the girls” I would start watching and exploring. At first it was boy/girl sex pictures. Then I found videos online and watch a bunch of different and new types of porn. This new and exciting option included lesbian, gay, BDSM, and Shemales. Then I found Literotica and started reading stories. While all these were stimulating and exciting, I simply got more frustrated with my inability to perform. In a state of depression, I needed and outlet but where and how? By now my wife and I effectively led a separate life. To me it seemed my only role in her life was to pay her bills. Not what I wanted from life.

While cruising the web one Saturday morning, my wife was with the girls, I came across a popular adult website. I could join as a member and contact others with similar interests. Making the decision to join was a life changing experience. I had no idea what a change that would mean. After completing all of the registration information, posting a G-rated picture, and paying the monthly fee, I posted:

“WM seeking to meet an exciting and dominant woman who likes men with small cocks”

In hindsight this was a very stupid posting. Not surprising I did not receive any responses. Several months passed without any member contacting me. I tried to contact some women whose profile matched my desires but no reply. At that point I was ready to declare the whole idea a lost cause and discontinue my membership. That suddenly changed when an email arrived telling me I had a response on that website. Excited and nervously I logged into the website and found a response to my post. It read:

“Hi, my name is Mistress Alexa and I saw your profile. I live in Clearwater and would very much like to meet you. If you are still interested in finding a dominant Mistress, please respond to my post. I believe I can be of great help and make your life exciting.”

After a minute to think about if and how I should reply, I figured an exchange with Mistress Alexa would be fun but would not go further than a couple of emails. With a small, dysfunctional cock, what woman would even consider given me more than a brief email exchange. Despite those feeling I responded:

“Thank you Mistress Alexa for your email. I would love an opportunity to chat with you and perhaps, if you would like, I would be happy to meet with you. Thank you JW2007 (my username).

At that point I did not anticipate any further contact. She would probably not want to meet someone who lacked the proper “equipment”. I was wrong. Within 20 minutes I received her reply.

“I would love to meet you and learn more about you. Have you ever had an experience with a Mistress before? Are you open minded jw2007 and ready to try new things? If we decided to meet, would you trust me enough to do what I asked? Let me know how you feel about my conditions. Mistress”

Her response increased my excitement. To think a woman was interested in meeting me. Not knowing exactly what would happen at a first meeting, I decided what the hell. Writing the following response.

“Dear Mistress, I have not had any experience with a Mistress. I am open minded and willing to try new things. I would trust you and would be willing to do what you ask as long as it did not violate the law. My experience is very limited and confined to watching porn on the web and once or twice at an adult bookstore. Thank you, JW2007”

After another moment of hesitation, I pressed the send button. I did not expect to hear from Mistress Alexa for at least a day or so. While working on the lawn, my cellphone binged. This indicated I had received a new email. It again indicated a new message on the adult website. Hurrying into the house, I pulled up my favorite website and read her message.

“JW2007 I would love to learn more about you. Would you be open to Instant Messaging me so we could talk in real time? Mistress Alexa.’

Without hesitation I responded by answering, “Absolutely yes, my IM is JW2007 on Yahoo Messenger. I will be up on it within 10 minutes. JW2007.”

After opening my IM, I waited. It seemed like hours without any messages then it popped up.

“Hi, this is Mistress how are you?”

I immediately typed, “I am fine and look forward to chatting with you.”

She replied, “That is great. Let’s start by you telling a bit about yourself, physical description, what you do for a living, family situation, and anything else you would like to share.”

Responding I said, “I am a white male, 6ft 2inches tall 195 lbs, salt and pepper hair, brown eyes, and over all good shape. My wife and I are like ships passing in the night and she has less and less use for me except as the one to pay the bills. I need to find a new lifestyle so that I can do more than work and hear complaints about my inadequacies.”

Mistress responded, “Thank you. What inadequacies?”

I figured if I answered that question, our IM would, end and she would never talk with me again. But being truthful heads off unrealistic expectations. I responded.

“I am not well endowed and cannot please her the way she wants in the bedroom.”

After a minute or so Mistress IM, “That must make you feel inadequate and hurt your feelings and pride. Since I like open and honest talk, how big are you?”

After a long and painful consideration for the right answer I simply responded, “I am 4 inches.”

Her immediate response, “There is nothing to be ashamed of about that. Besides I bet you look very sexy based on the picture on your profile. I work with others to help them appreciate exactly who they are and realize they are special. Do you have any nude pictures of yourself?”

Curious about the positive tone of her IM. I responded, “Sorry I do not have any nude pixs. I am interested in learning more about how you help others.”

Mistress replied, “Don’t worry about the pictures. I think we should get together and talk in person. Would you be open for a late lunch today? I can meet you at Lenny’s restaurant on US 19 North in Clearwater at 3:30. Does that work for you?”

Without hesitation I responded, “Yes, I will see you there. How will I recognize you?”

Mistress responded, “I will be wearing whips and chains LOL. That was a joke. I will be wearing a Tampa Bay Buccaneer’s jersey with “Alstott and blue jeans. I have your picture so I will recognize you.”

I responded, “I got it. See you there at 3:30.”

It was already 2:00 PM. I immediately dropped all other projects and started to get ready. A hot shower, a shave, fresh clothes and I was on the way. It only takes approximately 20 minutes to get to Lenny’s from my house but today it seemed like hours. I had to stop for every traffic light. There was an accident at the intersection of Enterprise and McMullen Booth roads that slowed traffic. As I slowly made my way to Lenny’s I was overcome with both doubt and a sense of guilt. What was I doing? Then I rationalized that all I was going to do was have lunch. Besides she might not show up or decide I was inadequate for her to spend time with. At this point I had very low self-esteem. Finally arriving at Lenny’s after an abnormal travel time that took 40 minutes. I arrived 10 minutes early. The restaurant was almost empty given that it was late for lunch and too early for dinner. Asking for a booth, I found one in the corner, ordered an ice tea, and excitedly waited.

Time passed and no one entered the restaurant. I kept thinking, “This isn’t going to happen. She will stand me up.”

At exactly 3:30 a 5ft 7inch woman wearing a Buccaneer jersey walked in. She appeared to be in her late 40’s or early 50’s. A bit curvy but attractive. Immediately walking to my booth she said, “Hi, I am Alexa and you must JW2007.”

I stood to greet her, “Yes, but my name is Jim, please call me that.”

After a few minutes of chit chat and placing our lunch orders, Alexa smiled, “Jim, I want to know more about you and how I might make your life better. Let’s start by you sharing with me your relationship with your wife.”

“We have been married for 11 years. At first things were great but after I had major surgery and my cock stopped responding tension developed.” Again, I figured disclosure would be the end of our meeting. I was wrong.

“Was the operation a success?”

“Yes, and I am in good shape except that my cock seems to have lost its usefulness function for sex. Carla, my wife, has become increasingly independent and spends more and more time with her girlfriends. I have become the guy who earns the money and has someone to show up at holidays and family gatherings.”

Alexa had a slight frown, “That doesn’t seem like a good situation for you. Have you tried counseling or seek other ways to please her?”

“Yes, we have tried counseling with several therapists. I have used all the alternative medical options except a surgical penial implant and used some sex toys. Nothing seems to satisfy Carla’s needs and we continue to become more distant. I am left watching porn and feeling frustrated and inadequate.”

She then said, “You are a very attractive man and based upon our brief time together you seem like an thoughtful, intelligent person. You need to stop beating yourself up. I think you are really a special guy.”

I blushed, “Thank you for your kind words.”

Alexa then said, “Those aren’t kind words, they are how and why you appeal to me. Let me ask a very personal question. What types of porn do you enjoy?”

This sudden change in the conversation caught me by surprise. Apparently, I looked embarrassed and unsure how to respond. Should I give her a politically correct answer or the truth?

Sensing my distress Alexa smiled, “Don’t worry about embarrassing me or yourself. I am open minded and I wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t important to me. You told me that you would do whatever I asked as long as it wasn’t against the law. You answering this question isn’t a violation and besides no one will ever know what we talk about.”

With that reassurance and remembering one of the conditions for us meeting, “Well....uhm...I started watching the usual guy/girl porn. They both take off their clothes and have sex. Then one day while surfing the net I found some websites the showed BDSM. Mostly men dominating women. That stimulated my interest. Then one of those sites a video of a woman dominating a nude male caught my attention and really excited me. I had to masturbate in order to relieve the sexual pressure. Unfortunately, masturbation since my surgery doesn’t provide cum but does provide some relief.”

With a warm approving smile, she said, “Please tell me more.”

Somewhat embarrassed after telling her I masturbate, I continued. “Then one weekend I found websites that showed Shemales. I really became excited. “Chicks with Dicks” really turned me on. They were beautiful but somehow having a cock made them even more exciting. The video that seem to stick with me was one where a very attractive Shemale submits to a black guy. His cock had to have been 10 inches or bigger. As he penetrated the girl’s ass she just moaned and screamed with pleasure. Seeing that massive cock and considering mine, I could see that I wasn’t what my wife wanted or needed. That probably would mean other women would look at me the same.”

Alexa said, “You have to stop beating yourself up and understand you are who you are and have what you have.” She then reached across the table and touched my hand in a reassuring way. I had not had that kind treatment in years.

She continued, “Listen, you are a good, handsome person. I think I can help you by opening entirely new ways for you to express your sexuality and find complete satisfaction. Are you interested?”

I must have looked puzzled because Alexa again asked, “Are you interested?”

“I am definitely interested. I am not certain how you will do that but please help me. I am tired of being lonely and frustrated.”

As we finished lunch we had some idle chit chat about the Buccaneers, weather, upcoming concerts and general conversation. After paying the bill Alexa thanked me for lunch and ask me to follow her. She was driving a new white Ford 150 crew cab pickup truck. She told me it would take 20 minutes to reach our destination. As I followed the white truck I kept asking myself, “Is this a good idea? What do I really know about this woman and what are the dangers?” But somehow my excitement over- ruled my concerns. We pulled into a small strip mall on 66th street in Clearwater. As she hopped out of the truck, Alexa motioned to me to come with her.

Unlocking the door to the building, she led me into a dimly lighted entrance. Turning on the lights I could see a large room with various types of equipment. My first thought was this must be a fitness club----I was wrong. The Sign on over the entrance to the large room read, “Welcome to Club Freedom”. Posted on the wall just before entry was a list of rules. Rule one, no submissive are to wear clothes beyond this point without permission of their Master or Mistress. Rule two. No means No. Rule three, if you enter the “Grope Room you are consenting to whomever and whatever happens. Rule four, safe sex will be required. Condoms are available at the front desk. Rule five, Disruptive and disrespectful individuals will be ejected from the club with or without their clothes.

Who owns this place I asked?

With a smile Alexa said, “I do.”

She then said, “Rule one says no sub will enter the hall wearing clothes. You are now my sub so strip off all your clothes and hand them to me.”

That was a shock. She wants me naked. The last time I was naked with a woman was with my wife two years ago. This was both frightening and exciting. Perhaps I should just turn around and walk out before things got out of control. But, I didn’t.

Alexa in a firm voice, “Get your damn clothes off now and go stand on the white line the hall.”

After another moment of hesitation, I started to take off my shirt, pants, shoes and socks. Finally, only my boxers covered my manhood. Feeling embarrassed I heard Alexa firmly order, “I want you naked and standing on the white line. Give me your boxers now.”

Whether it was the force of her voice, or the excitement of the moment, I obeyed and moved to the white line. Standing there naked, facing the far wall I wasn’t sure whether I was afraid or excited. I have a sensation in my cock that had not be there for years.

Approaching from the back, I felt her hands starting to rub my neck, shoulders and back.

She told me, “I want to examine you and release all your fears and frustrations. I want to own your body and mind. Don’t be afraid to tell me anything and be open to all that I will give you. From this time forward you are my valued sub and I am your Mistress. Nothing we talk about will be shared with anyone. I am now your inner most thoughts. Your body will belong to me and you will not deny me any request. In exchange for your devotion and honoring your submission, I will give pleasures that you may have only fantasized. From now on every time you are in this room or we are alone you are to call me Mistress. To you submit to my control?”

She continued to stroke my back, down my ass and then legs. The feeling of total comfort and the rush of pleasure over came me. I quickly replied, “Yes, Mistress. I am yours.”

As she moved to face me she said, “I really like your legs. They are better than most women’s legs. Yours are a true asset.”

Somewhat puzzled by her remark, I became very embarrassed as she rubbed her hands over my breasts. “You have very nice breasts and very hard nipples. Am I getting you excited?”

I tried not to show any emotion but as she continued to play with my nipples, they got harder. Then out of nowhere I moaned. It became clear to her that she was finding things about me that I did not know existed. Increasingly excited, containing my emotions was becoming increasingly difficult.

After a few more minutes deliberately arousing me, she moved down my chest, stomach and finally she reached my cock and balls. I looked down feeling very ashamed as my cock hung there limp. My body wanted to explode but my cock just hung there. I said, “It is useless and I can’t please a woman. I am a failure as a man.”

With that comment I felt a sudden smack on my ass. “You are never to say that again. You are not a failure. My responsibility as your Mistress is to bring you pleasure and make you feel confident in yourself and please me. Is that clear?

“

I responded, “Yes Mistress” I still didn’t believe but I was willing to learn from her.”

After a few more minutes of touching my cock and balls, she grabbed my cock and said, “Follow me.”

Being led into an office I was told to sit on a stool and watch the video screen.

Mistress said, “You are about to see a possible way for you to experience sex and even love in a way you never imagined. You are not to speak but simply watch. Before I turn this video on, you shared with me that you have watched a lot of porn. All types of porn but when you talked about Shemales, your body language and expression indicated that was something that really excited you. How can I make such a statement? I have a Masters degree, in psychology, specializing in human sexuality from the University of Michigan. I read people’s interests just chatting with them.”

She continued, “First, spread your legs so that your cock and balls hang free. You must stop being so uptight. Secondly, how do you identify yourself? Are you straight, gay, bisexual, or something else?”

In a defensive manner I said, “I am straight. I like women.”

Mistress responded, “You are probably bisexual in the right situations. How can I make that assessment? During lunch when you started to talk about Shemales your expressions and body language again gave you away. When you shared your admiration of the black master fucking his white Shemale, your body language screamed that you thought that was very special. Another interesting thing I notices is when you quickly only mentioned gay porn. I suspect you may have had more interest in that type porn than you admit.”

Silently to myself I admitted, “She really knows me, and I can’t hide anything from her. She is much smarter than I first thought. I am either going to have to run out of here or truly become what she wants me to become.” I stayed.

“As we watch this video, I am going to make some comments, but I want you to focus on the screen not look at me.” The screen came to life and in a few seconds a naked man appeared. He looked very much like me except he was a bit heavier and a bit shorter.

“This male came to me through his wife. She and I know each other from our fitness club. She is 3 years older than the male and both are dissatisfied. Like you his cock created self-doubt. “

She continued, “The first thing you should notice Is his lack of pubic hair. His cock and balls are completely smooth. How many porn movies have you seen where both the male and female have shaved pubic hair? Why is that? It is because pubic hair hides your most personal thing, your cock and balls. What you may or may not notice is that the male has absolutely no body hair below the chin. He is smooth and soft.”