Social Worker and the Bully Ch. 11

Hi everyone,

This is the first new chapter in Manasi's saga and should give you an idea where I wish to take this forward.

I hope you will be as encouraging as you have always been.

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Three years had gone by. I had settled down in Pune about 6 months ago. After all that had happened, I just couldn't face Raju anymore. My guilty conscious never allowed me the opportunity to face up to the truth nor pour out my heart to him. Instead I made Nita talk to him about how I had lost the spark to be with him anymore and pressed him for a divorce. Raju was aghast that I wanted out of our marriage. True to his good nature and polite upbringing, he tried hard to persuade me to reconsider. We spoke on the phone, once at Nita's office and another couple of times at the lawyers. I was a silent piece of furniture. My thoughts clouded by my recent past.

Inspector Patil had hushed up the matter. Nita and I had confided in him and told him everything that we possibly could. Of course, we didn't go into the minute details that I had shared with Nita all this while about my sorry love story with Lallan. I felt bad about lying so blatantly to Patil and the guilt showed on my tear-streaked face all the time.

Nita noted my apprehension and quickly assumed control of the narrative so that Patil wouldn't expand his questionnaire. He was pissed off at Lallan and wowed to ensure he rotted in jail for a long while. He even mulled over putting certain unsolved drug cases, a hit-and-run case and others on Lallan so that he would be buried in legal work and wouldn't be able to come out of jail soon. Seeing the alarm on my face (God, what's become of me!) Nita seemingly acting righteous asked Patil not to do that and let the law run its own judicious course. Patil reluctantly agreed at her insistence.

After coming back from Ahmedabad, I had just landed on Nita's doorstep and the poor soul had taken me in without any questions. Raju was mystified about all this and finally the divorce bombshell gave him an alternate story. A story where the only protagonists were the two of us and our fights that began and ended with my drinking problem.

In this time, I had given up my ambitions of Stanford, a comfortable life in the states and well, a happy life with my husband. Now I was just a shadow of my previous firebrand self.

The divorce was finally settled two years after my little escapade and Nita was proud of me that I had not touched a drop of liquor all this while. Only I know how difficult this period was. True to his good nature and perhaps, more than enough love for me, he let me have the Mumbai apartment apart from a generous one-time alimony since I had declined anything else. Frankly, the money was enough for me not to work ever again, not that I cared about such things at that moment. Nita took charge on everything and ensured I didn't miss out on any benefits.

Nita had taken over the role of my mother. She got me a job in the Indo-German Academy in Pune and through another counsellor friend, Maya, arranged for a decent home for me to stay. It had a lovely little kitchen garden in the back and a small little patch of green next to the walkway to the house. I had placed a lawn chair over there and mused over my life with a coffee in my hand, often finishing with my face wet with tears.

Nita had suggested that I should not divorce Raju as now was the time I needed his presence in my life the most. But I just couldn't own up to the fact that I had messed up. I had cheated him, my job, myself. I hated myself more than I hated Lallan. And I timidly accepted whatever Nita decided for me.

Lallan had extinguished my future like a flicker of a flame pinched out by his fingers. I often wondered in those lonely nights what made me, an educated, self-respecting young vibrant woman to bend to the will of a low class vile and uncouth person like Lallan. He didn't have a big dick, forget good looks or a great body. He was a truck driver married to a maid-servant and lived in a slum, for god's sake! Yet there was something about him that made me want to be his bitch. His kuttiya as he called me. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was, but it was there. The raw animalistic fervour with which he mauled me. Fucked me without any thought to my comfort. His arrogance and his viciousness. I missed it. God! I was pathetic!

Usually these thoughts ended with my fingers furiously busy between my legs and me crashing to sleep with my body twitching in post orgasmic haze.

And the fever. Never in my life I had been as frequently bed-ridden than the time soon after coming back to Mumbai from Ahmedabad. I had just curled up and slept in the jeep driven by Patil back to town. Didn't say a word. Didn't eat, didn't drink. Just slept, till I reached Nita's house. And then promptly fell sick.

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I missed Mumbai. I missed helping those poor desperate women who were victims of domestic abuse and thinking back to the times I had been able to help made me smile through my tears. Yes, in my own small way, I had done good to the world. Yet my world had crumbled. No. Collapsed around me. I had no world. It was just me in a sea of clouded thoughts and misery.

That evening, I re-stocked my bar and dutifully emptying one bottle of whiskey every night, hoping to forget everything and yet ironically, I remembered every little detail of the debauchery I had humiliatingly faced. Each night I went to sleep with a wet face and woke up with my sheets wet under my ass. In a few days I ran out of clean sheets and clean pajamas. I didn't bother with them anymore, staying naked most of the time.

My job was slow. Playing counsellor to people wanting to migrate to Germany to study or work wasn't exactly an area of expertise. But since I had a vast experience of hand-holding people, Maya, Nita's friend in Pune who helped with the job and home, insisted that this was just a modified version of helping people adapt.

Frankly at that point of time, I really had no say in where my life was taking me. It seemed Nita was making all my decisions for me and I was perfectly fine with it. I don't think I had a sane enough mind to sift through the mess I was in and restart my life. She called me often to check on me and also sent Maya to visit me. I wasn't drunk but she definitely got a shock seeing me going about things, naked. She mentioned it and I dismissed it with a wave of my hand. My behaviour was dutifully relayed to Nita, who spent an hour the next day berating me for being a wanton slut. I guess I was. I just didn't care anymore.

It took a while for me to get out of the veil of self-pity and anger I had pulled around me. The different versions of the stories through Nita and Patil made me cringe with its dishonesty. It was crude and yet helped portray a decent enough account of what had transpired. And yet I didn't open my mouth. I had enough, I guess. And I had Raju to think about. Thank god we didn't have any children. How would I ever have escaped that was beyond me. I guess all this was making me mentally and physically weak and hence the regular fever.

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It was three weeks now that I had again taken refuge with a bottle. It was early March, a self-obsessed Sunday as any other when Nita called. It was early in the morning and the phone woke me up from a drunken slumber. I found myself splayed out on my living room couch. I had again drunk too much and passed out. My stomach grumbled and my head hurt. Groggily I preened and picked up the phone to see who was calling me. Shakily I answered the call and Nita's hello sent a chill through me. It wasn't the usual Nita calling in her high-pitched voice, it was a subdued hello. As if she was wary of talking to me. Did she need help?

"Hi, Nita, how are you doing, good morning" I breathed out.

"I am good Dear, hope you are not drinking again. You sound sozzled" She said in a matter-of-fact way.

"Sorry Nita, I don't know what's gotten into me these days again" I apologized feeling guilty. "I am hitting the bottle regularly." I admitted.

"What's the matter with you?" She chided me. "Why are you wasting your life away. You are only 29 for god's sake. Forget the past, there is a life ahead of you" She admonished me.

"Tell me, Nita, what's up with you. How come you called this early?" I asked, trying to change the topic and steer the conversation away from my drinking.

"Patil had called." She said with a worrying voice. "Lallan's case has come up in court and his lawyer has demanded you to place your statement on record." She said.

I was taken aback. Going to court meant that I had to face him again. His evil smirk still dominated my mind. That smirk... that made my heart flutter in anxiety and yet my pussy throbbed seeing it... how would I stand to see him again.

"Is it necessary?" I softly asked. "Can't the court just take my statement given to the police? Isn't that enough? I thought Kanta and my name was kept out of the official records?"

"No dear. The three confessed about everything. Including the whores they had in the truck." Nita explained. "The court has to take your statement in person as you are the prime witness of the drug haul".

How embarrassing. They had entered my name in the court records as a whore!

"When is it? I mean, when do I need to come back to Mumbai?" I asked. "The 14th of March. That's the date given. You should be in and out in an hour or two max." Nita sounded confident.

"Ok. If it can't be avoided, guess we need to get on with it and get it behind us" I rationalized.

"Don't worry about anything dear. I will take care of everything. You just come over to my home on the 13th and we shall quickly get this thing behind us once and for all." Nita encouraged me.

"Alright Nita. I shall see you on the 13th. Will let you know when I will be reaching." I informed her.

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I hired a taxi to take me down to Mumbai and also asked him to stay back to take me back to Pune the next day as I didn't want to spend more than necessary time there. Nita was as loving and motherly as before. I felt relieved and happy to be able to speak to her in person and hear about all the things that were happening with her. This was a welcome change from the self-pity and solo-wallowing that I had been doing all this while. That night we shared a couple of beers. Nita insisted that she couldn't allow me to drink any hard liquor before an important day and said she wanted me to be focussed on my statement the next day.

"Telling the truth is easy. You don't need to remember it. A lie needs to be rehearsed as you can easily err." She philosophised.

I couldn't sleep well that night, brooding about seeing Lallan after all this time and having to go through the statement that I had made to the cops during his arrest. Since it was a less than accurate description of what really had transpired that fateful night, I was having to go through the statement time and time again so that I didn't miss out on the fine points and be careful not to accidentally blurt out all the sordid details. Nita had warned me about the defence lawyer and said he was a smart cookie with a reputation to shred rape victims to such an extent that they usually dropped charges.

Seeing him brought into court in handcuffs was a revelation. I never felt as sad and as emotionally charged seeing him. He looked haggard. Had a slight beard. His face was dishevelled. Clearly the face of a convict. All the memories of the time came flooding back and I noted with despair that I had tears flowing down my cheeks. I was lost in my thoughts and oblivious to the arguments and rebuttals being advocated by both sides. Suddenly I felt a elbow near my ribs, breaking my reverie and noticed Nita, sitting next to me, giving me a nod to go up to the witness stand.

With heavy leaden feet I got up and walked up to the stand. Lallan, seated next to his two partners in crime was looking at me with a strange look. It wasn't a sad or angry Lallan. I couldn't place his look, wondering what he was thinking. Munaf and Tony had knowing smirks on their face. They were probably thinking about the photo sessions they had with my cum covered face. My legs wobbled thinking about the experience and climbed up to the stand. The witness lawyer came up to me and read out my statement and asked me to confirm to the court if what was in the statement was given under any duress or pressure and whether this statement is the one I had given to the police after the arrests.

I nodded my head slowly, still lost in thought of the time I spent with these animals. My heart was heavy but I had a strange feeling in my guts. Wait, was I getting horny thinking about the episode? What the hell was I doing? my brain screamed that I was a slut. A pain and shame slut. "You put him away and he is never coming back to torment you again." I told myself. "It's almost over. Just go through the motions. Nita and Inspector Patil would handle everything. Just relax."

I heard the Judge ask me again "Ms. Manasi Desai, is your statement correct?" I looked up to him and haltingly said "Sir, everything in the statement is correct... except... except that Lallan was forced to go with them. He tried to save me but they threatened him with some kind of crude weapon so he kept quiet."

All hell broke loose in the courtroom on my statement. I myself was shocked at the words that came out of my mouth. I could make out both sets of lawyers rushing up to me and arguing something with me. The judge kept banging his gavel, trying to quell the pandemonium. I couldn't make out what really was being said or what was happening. I was looking straight at Lallan. He had a strange smile on his face.

I saw him mouth the word "Whore". Shit, did I just have an orgasm? I must be mad.

I really didn't know much about what happened after that. I came to my senses just outside the courtroom. Nita was saying something and her face was in a scowl. I looked up at her and tried to focus on her words. "... you dumb girl. Because of you a low life like Lallan is now set free. Don't come to me for whatever mess he gets you into now." She said and stormed off.

"Wait..." I called to her. She didn't bother to turn back.

I was again all alone in my life.

I turned and walked to the exit of the courthouse and got to the curb to get into my waiting taxi. I had nothing left to do in Mumbai. It was time to get back to Pune and be my miserable self. At that moment, Lallan walked down the stairs of the building and stopped when he saw me standing near the taxi with the door open. I watched him as he half-smiled and shook his head. He walked towards me and opened the front door of the taxi and got in.

"Get in memsaab. Consider it your taxi." He said. I was completely lost in thought and barely noticed myself get into the backseat of the car and closed the door. The driver gave a look behind and started the taxi and moved out.

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The ride to Pune was uneventful to say the least. Neither did he talk and neither did I. I guess we both were completely lost in our thoughts. I don't know about his but my thoughts were only on how Lallan had treated me in the past. I am sure he wouldn't have been thinking that. Or he was in the context of why I had changed my statement, perhaps.

I saw a wrapped burger being thrust under my eyes and looked up and found that we had stopped at some McDonalds on the way and Lallan had got food. I was so out of it that I hadn't even noticed where we were or that we had even stopped for a while now. The smell of the burger reminded me that I had nothing to eat for some time now and the rumbling in my stomach was motivation enough to take the offered food. The car started off again and I slowly unwrapped the burger and took a bite. Strangely my thought was on how thoughtful Lallan was to get some food for me. Ruefully, I rationalized that he probably was hungry hence got the food. I was secondary. I also wondered from where did he get the money to buy food just when the cab driver turned around for a split second and said "Madam, the food will cost extra." I nodded and half smiled as I drifted back to sleep.

Once we got home, Lallan looked around the place. I was nervous, hesitant and at a loss for words. Why did I bring him here, what now? Am I giving him a licence to fuck me? Abuse me the way he always did? Damn! Why was my cunt tingling with these grotesque thoughts!

Lallan turned around and looked at me. "What do you want? What do you think I am doing here?" he asked. I looked up at him, pretty submissively and said "It must have been hard for you in prison, isn't it?" He gave me a surprised look and sneered, "It was all because of you. Why did you have to call the cops? You were just getting what you wanted. What you deserved. And you sent me to prison." He thundered. His voice getting shriller as his eyes glazed and squinted.

Trembling in fear and also some remorse in a way I said I was sorry. "Sorry?" He shouted. "You think your sorry is good enough, Memsaab? Because of you I had a hard time in prison. My wife left me and went away. Other inmates in the prison made my time there pretty hard. The jailers beat us up often. I had to bear all this because you wanted to suddenly become sati-savitri - a saint? Madarchod- Fucking cunt!" He shouted.

Hearing the edge in his voice, I broke down. I burst into tears and went down on my knees. "I am truly sorry Lallan. I truly am. Please forgive me. You can take all the revenge you want from me. I promise I won't complain." I sobbed through my tears.

My hands were folded and my head was down. I cried some more. He looked down upon me and put his right foot on my bowed head and pushed hard. I fell on my back and looked up to him. His hands were on his hips. "Yeah, you are right Randi. Some wise guy said revenge is a dish best served cold. And I would definitely like to take it out on you. Two years of hard labour, beatings, humiliations and the pain of my wife leaving me cannot be erased by your 'sorry'. Even if I kill you right now, it won't heal my pain." He said evilly.

I was genuinely sorry. I don't know why, but I was. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

"So, cunt. How should I punish you? Give you what you deserve?" he said in a mocking tone. "What do I do with you that will give me satisfaction? He asked. I got back to my knees and again folded my hands together "You can do anything you want. As I said, I won't complain. I will take my punishment wilfully."

"Ha-Ha. Punishment! What about? What did you think? I was going to allow you to take Mangal's place in my life? Make you my wife?" He sneered. "You are not anything like my Mangal, Manasi Memsaab. You are a piece of shit whore. You are not a respectable woman like my wife. Don't you even dare to dream of replacing her." He warned menacingly.

His words were like a dagger to my heart and I don't think I have ever gone through such humiliation in my life. Even discounting what had happened in Ahmedabad when they had pissed on me, in me.. God... I was getting horny just thinking about it... I don't know what possessed me at that moment but I found myself with my head on his feet.

"I am your kuttiya, Lallan. Your Bitch." I sobbed. "Take me as you deem fit. Use me, abuse me but don't discard me. I promise I will never try and take Mangal's place. You can take all your revenge out on me. I won't complain." I swore.

Lallan looked down on me as my tears dripped on to his feet. His only movement was his twitching toes, maybe since they were getting wet with my tears. He withdrew his right foot from under my face and gave a firm kick on my cheek and ear. I sprawled out on the floor looking up at him fearfully. He gave me a wicked grin and spat on the floor. "I want this house clean at all times and this is not acceptable." He said nodding at his spittle pooling on the marble tiles. I knew what he wanted me to do but perhaps to save face or just trying to make it clear and not assume things, I made to get up from the floor and move to the kitchen to fetch a wet rag.