Spanish Lessons Pt. 02

A few words from the author:

This is Part 2 of 'Spanish Lessons". I recommend reading Part 1 first. For any misused Spanish idioms, I blame falling asleep in class, and Google Translate. Also, there is no explicit sex in this part of the story.

I do appreciate constructive comments. If you think it stinks, that's fine. But please don't be rude. Tell me WHY it stinks, so I can fix it.

This (along with Part 1) is the first story I have ever posted on Literotica, and it has been submitted sans editor. I am currently taking applications :)

Hope you enjoy it.

**********

SOFIA

My name is Sofia Peña. Sofia Peña Barnes is what it says on my wedding certificate. I still have it. I'm divorced, but I never gave up his name. It's the only thing I have left of his. I threw away the most beautiful man I have ever known because I was a fool.

It has been 5 years, 3 months, and 14 days since I saw him last. I regret not trying harder to get him back, but the way I left him, the way I hurt him, I don't think he would ever want me again. I cheated on him, and after Brendan walked out, I could no longer stand the person I'd become, and I wound up moving away. I didn't fight the divorce, and he found someone new. I was heartbroken, but I couldn't hate her. She made my Brendan happy. He still kept in touch with my parents, and they still treated him like a son. It was from Mama that I heard about his new wife, and then a few years later, their baby.

I was honest with them when I told them why we divorced. Mama and Papa were so disappointed in me. It took a while but eventually they forgave me. I hope that someday Brendan can too. But after what I did... how I did it... I am afraid. I ask Mama and Papa how he is, when I go to visit. I think I am being clever, just casual chit-chat to make conversation, but I think they know I still love him.

Papa was the one who convinced me that I had to talk to someone who could help me understand why I did what i did, and once I understood, how to help deal with the guilt. I was drinking too much, and Papa said I would wind up dead if I didn't get help. I promised him, and I did. It took a few tries, but I found someone I liked, and she has helped me a great deal, but I have long way to go.

Then Papa got sick. I came home, making the 90-minute drive from Waco as often as I could. Yes, I had run away from my life in Austin, but I didn't run far. So brave. Hah. I told myself I was coming home for Papa and Mama, but that wasn't the whole truth, and I need to be honest with myself first, if I want to be honest with him if and when I get the chance.

So, honesty? I came because I was scared. Again. Papa was my rock from the time I was a little girl, and I was so afraid to lose him. Mama was the strong one. She held me as I cried and told me that Papa, even when he was no longer here, would always be watching over me and my brothers.

One evening, after Papa was asleep, Mama said, "Mija, I know you still love him."

Of course I burst into tears. "Oh, Mama, if you only knew how much! And I'm so sorry for what I did to him. And to you. Brendan loves you and Papa."

"We love him too. He will always be like a son to us. His Carrie was a beautiful soul, and little Lark is a treasure. She calls me abuela, you know. Brendan's idea, not mine."

She patted my hand. "So, mija, what is your plan?"

"Plan?"

"Sofia. I am your mother. I know you still love him, and I know you want him back. I am asking how you plan to accomplish this."

"I don't know, Mama, I think I hurt him too much!" I started to cry again.

"Well, then you have to show him that you will never hurt him again."

"How do I do that?" my voice was shaking.

"Slowly, mjia, slowly. Don't worry. I will help you."

**********

BRENDAN

The caller ID said Luz Peña. "Hi Mama, what can I do for you today?" Smiling.

"Hi Brendan."

I nearly dropped the phone. Even after five years, I recognized her voice.

"Brendan?"

"Yeah sorry. Hello, Sofia."

"I'm sorry for bothering you, but Mama asked me to call you."

"Why, what's going on? What do you want?" I immediately regretted the harshness in my tone.

Very quietly, "Papa is sick, Brendan. He was too proud for you to see him like this, but now... well, it's getting close, and he would like to see you. Would you please come?"

"Oh my God, of course. Just tell me where."

"He's at home, we've had hospice for the last few days."

My heart sank. Hospice. I just said, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

I told Lark that we were going to visit Abuela, and she said "Yay!" I secured her in her car seat, and headed for the house. I carried her in, and saw Hector and Jaime sitting in the kitchen. I went over to them and exchanged hugs. "I'm so sorry guys. I wish I had known sooner."

They just nodded. Hector said, "You know Papa, he hates to look weak in front of anyone, even family. And you're still our brother, you know?"

I nodded, and hugged both of them again.

"Lark, punkin', will you stay here with Tío Jaime and Tío Hector for a minute?"

She ran over and Jaime scooped her up as I headed for Miguel's room.

I knocked and slowly opened the door, and three sets of eyes looked at me. Miguel tried to sit up a little in the bed, and Luz just smiled at me. She was sitting beside him, holding his hand. And the third person, I hadn't seen in nearly five years. Her hair was cut shorter than before, and she was thinner than I remembered. But otherwise, as beautiful as ever. My ex-wife, Miguel's daughter Sofia. She was sitting in the other chair in the room, her eyes locked on mine, tears welling in them.

She got up, took a step toward me, and stopped. My heart went out to her. After all, her father was lying there dying. I just held out my arms, and she ran into them, throwing her arms around me and crying in great, hitching sobs. I just held her.

"Shhh, I'm here. I've got you." Gently stroking her hair.

Eventually, her crying tapered off. With a last sniffle, she lifted her head from my chest and looked at me. "I've ruined your shirt," she tried to laugh.

"Don't worry about it," I smiled as I let her go. She went back to her chair, and I turned to the man in the bed and the woman beside him. The closest thing I had to parents since mom died so many years ago.

I walked over and hugged Luz, and she returned the embrace with a strength that belied her years. She patted me on the cheek and said, "Talk to him, mijo."

She took Sofia's hand and they left the room.

I sat beside him. "How you doing, Miguel?"

"Oh not bad. Think I might go fishing tomorrow."

I laughed, and he grinned, then coughed.

I handed him the glass that was on the nightstand, and he sipped.

"Thanks, mijo." He looked at me, hard. "I mean that. You've been like a son to us even after my daughter lost her maldita mind. And Lark is the grandchild we've hoped for. Thank you for letting us be part of her life."

"Of course. You and Luz will always be her abuelos."

He coughed again. "Listen to me Brendan. I'm dying, so you have to."

I tried to protest, but he waved it away. "Listen," he repeated. "This is my dying wish to you." He gripped my hand, and said, "Please let me get this out and don't interrupt, ok?"

I nodded.

He thought for a moment, and then spoke. "Brendan, Luz and I were ashamed and disgusted for what Sofia did to you. I was ashamed because how could a daughter that I raised act like that? I had failed her, and I had failed you. For that, I am sorry."

Again, I tried to protest. I had no idea! But he held up a hand. "No interruptions."

"Sorry."

He eyed me. "I know she broke your heart. But I know my daughter, and even when she was acting like a mimada child, I could see that she broke her own heart too. I know," he stared at me and I could feel the force of his will, even though the disease that was eating away at him, "I know that she still loves you. And I have watched her these last five years. She is not the foolish girl that she was. I'm asking you, please, as her father, to talk to her. Even if there's nothing left between you, please look after her. She will need you when I'm gone."

I was crying openly now, but what could I say? I leaned down to embrace the man I thought of as my father. "I promise, Papa."

He had tears of his own in his eyes. "Thank you, mijo. Now please send my daughter in?"

**********

Miguel lasted two more days. Sofia called me, hysterical. I went and picked her up, just to get her out of the house, and I wound up taking Lark with me. It was cheating, but it worked. My daughter was a naturally cheerful child, plus having a 3-year old around couldn't help but be distracting. We went to the park, and watched Lark as she played. We didn't talk about much, just chatted about her job in Waco, or how thing were going with mine, in between exclaiming at everything Lark did, or brought for us to see.

When Lark started getting sleepy, I told Sofia it was probably time for me to take her home. She looked down, her hands twisting in her lap. I smiled, remembering her nervous habit. I knew she was working her way up to ask me something, so I just waited.

Finally she looked up, and despite the misery I could see in her eyes, she only said, "Ok, Brendan, thank you for spending today with me."

I looked at her quizzically. I was sure that wasn't what she had originally wanted to say, but I just nodded, picked up my drowsy toddler, and took her home.

**********

The funeral was two days later. I stood there as the casket was lowered into the ground, holding Lark in one arm. Sofia had both hers wrapped around my other arm, but she was dry-eyed. All cried out.

We all went back to the house afterwards, and I spoke little to her. We were all talking with the many friends and family members who had come to pay their respects, and it was a long, trying day. Sofia managed to find me for a moment as I was putting Lark down for a nap. She had her own room in the big house.

"Brendan, could you please save a minute for me before you leave? I'm sorry I haven't...."

"Shhh, you have nothing to apologize for. You need to be with your family. Honest, it's fine. Go, and I'll talk to you later. I'm just going to sit in here with Lark. This funeral has brought back..." I couldn't say it.

Her hand went to her mouth. "Oh, Brendan, I'm so sorry, I've been so wrapped up, I didn't even think..." she was on the verge of tears.

"Sofia, please, your father just died. You have every right to be focused on that. It's okay, I promise. I'm thinking about him too."

She nodded. "You're sure? I could sit with you a bit..."

"Thank you. I'll be okay. I'll come find you later."

"Okay." She hesitated, then gave me a quick hug and left the room.

I sat in the dark and gazed at my sleeping daughter. I had a great many things to think about.

**********

Once Lark woke up, she was acting unusually fussy. As I said, she's usually a happy child. I asked if she wanted to go home and she nodded. I went and kissed Luz on the cheek, and Lark did too. I told her we'd talk to her soon. I saw Sofia across the room and nodded my head toward the kitchen. She was talking to a man a few years older than us, but she quickly said something to him and came right over.

"Who was that?" I immediately wished I had the words back. "Sorry. That was... rude of me."

She looked at me oddly. "Brendan, you can always ask me anything. It's our cousin Gabriel. Mama's sister's son. Muy guapo, no?" she teased.

I looked away, furious with myself. But strangely touched by her words. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm heading home. This little changuita has had a long day." Lark had her head tucked under my chin, and was sucking her thumb, which she rarely did any more.

"Not a monkey," she said. For three, she was amazingly bilingual. I was sure I had Luz to thank.

I chuckled, and kissed the top of her head. Then I turned to Sofia. "I'm sorry, I know you wanted to talk, but can we do it tomorrow?"

"Of course. Shall I call or would you?"

"I will."

"Okay, and Brendan? Thank you."

I just nodded, and Sofia added, "Bye angel!" Lark looked at her shyly, thumb firmly in place again.

**********

I did call as promised, but Sofia said she was still tied up with family. Her mother was exhausted, and she and her brothers were dealing with everything. I said I understood, and asked if there was anything I could do to help.

She said not at the moment, and then she paused.

"Brendan, this isn't what I wanted to talk about, but I did want you to know... I'm thinking hard about moving back to Austin to be with Mama."

"Okay, that makes sense, I guess. But you don't need my permission."

"I know, but... I seem to have contracted this overwhelming need to be completely honest with you. I don't want you to think I was springing something on you. I know you and Mama are close, and she watches your daughter a lot, so I wanted to tell you that if having me around more is going to be a problem, I'll try to figure something else out."

"Sofia, I'm sorry. Of course if you want to be with your mother, you should be. Thank you for considering my feelings. Of course there won't be a problem. Luz needs you."

"Thank you Brendan. I'll call you when things are a little less hectic." She hung up.

**********

Well, she did call, but it was just to tell me she had talked it over with Luz, and they had agreed, so she was heading back to Waco to get packed up. She sounded a little nervous. "I'm sorry, Brendan, I know I said I'd like to talk, so I didn't want to think I was blowing you off or anything."

"Part of your new honesty kick?"

Now she sounded sad. "Not a kick. I'm really trying hard to be a better person."

For some reason, I started getting angry. Why did feel like I needed to keep apologizing? She was the one who cheated, and now she had me feeling like a jerk!

"It's really fine, Sofia, like you said, it's your meeting, so just let me know when is good for you."

And I hung up.

**********

SOFIA

I just stared at the phone.

Mama looked at me. "So, mija?"

"He hung up on me, Mama. I try to be honest and just when I think I see the old Brendan, then he just gets so angry! And I don't know why!"

Mama looked at me for a few seconds. "Mija, are you still the same person as when you were married to him?"

"Well, no..."

"And so, like you, the old Brendan is gone too. He had to get over what happened with you, then he got married and had a baby. And then his wife died. He's not the same man you married."

Mama took my hands. "You have to be patient. You have to remember, he hasn't seen you in a long time. And now you're back, and he probably has a lot of emotions to work through. Trust me, mija. I told you I would help, so listen to me. You have to be strong now. You have to take whatever he throws at you. Can you do that?"

I nodded. "Thank you, Mama. How did you get to be so wise?"

She just smiled. "Give him some space, Sofia. Go on back to Waco. I'll have Hector and Jamie come up with the truck tomorrow."

"Ok, Mama."

**********

I didn't have much to pack, as it turned out, and I moved my life back into the old house. Hector and Jaime were sharing an apartment in the city, so it was just me and Mama.

I hadn't started looking for a job yet, as I wanted to spend time with Mama, and we had an opportunity for things to get back to normal. Based on his reaction the last time I talked to him, I decided to wait before I called Brendan.

But circumstance intervened. Apparently he called Mama and asked if she could watch Lark one Saturday. He had to meet with a client and because of conflicting schedules, they had to do it on the weekend.

I was sitting at the kitchen table in my robe, having breakfast, when I heard a knock, followed by the door opening and in he strode. I stared at him.

He stared back. Then he chuckled. "Sorry! I'm used to just coming in. I'll start knocking from now on."

I saw him looking, and it warmed me in ways I hadn't felt in a long time. I looked down, hiding my blush, and said, "It's ok. I was just surprised, Mama didn't tell me you were coming. I assume she is sitting for Lark today?"

"Yes, I asked Luz if it was ok, I have a meeting. Damn client couldn't make room during the week."

"Daddy, bad word!" Lark chided.

"Sorry sweetie."

I laughed. "I'm sure Mama loves having her. But Brendan..." I was suddenly very nervous. "Would it be okay... if I helped Mama with her?"

He looked at me strangely.

I rushed to fill the silence. "I'd be lying if I said I only want to help Mama. In truth, I'd like to get to know her. She's part of you. So she's important." I couldn't look at him, fearful of his rejection.

Again, he looked at me for a long time as he sat there with Lark in his lap. He looked down at her, and said, "Punkin', I'd like you to meet someone."

Lark looked at me shyly as he continued. "She's Tío Jaime and Tío Hector's sister, so I guess she's your Tía Sofia."

I couldn't help it. I started to cry.

Lark climbed down from Brendan's lap and came over to me. She held her arms up to be picked up. I settled her in my lap and she hugged me. "Don't cry, Tía," which of course just made me cry harder.

"Don't worry, Lark, these are happy tears." Brendan was smiling too, and his eyes looked suspiciously wet.

"Thanks," he said. "I should be back in a couple hours." Then, to Lark, "Be good for Abuela and Tía Sofia, okay?"

"Okay, daddy."

**********

We had a wonderful time, and I made some decisions. When Brendan came back from his meeting, I asked him if he would please stay for lunch.

He started to beg off, when Lark said, "But daddy, Abuela promised to make empenadas! Three kinds!"

Brendan knelt down. "Oh, well in THAT case..."

"Yay!" Lark clapped.

Later, as it got to be Lark's naptime, Brendan made motions toward leaving again. "Well, I should get her home..."

"Actually, Brendan...as long as you don't have other plans, would you mind if we had that talk? You can put her down for her nap here, and..." I trailed off.

"Okay, Sofia, that's fine... I don't have anywhere to be."

**********

He fussed over Lark, but with a tummy full of Mama's empenadas, she soon dropped off. We settled in our chairs, and he looked at me expectantly.

"Brendan, first I just wanted to say that I am so so sorry about Carrie. I know I never met her, but Mama and Papa loved her. She made you happy, and gave you Lark, so I know I would have loved her too. I'm hoping that someday you will tell me about her."

"Thank you," was all he said.

I took a deep breath. "Remember when you asked about Gabriel, and I told you that you could always ask me anything?

He nodded.

"Ok, I just wanted to remind you. Anyway." Another deep breath. "This is going to be hard, I'm sure. I'd like to get this out, for me as much as for you. First, I'm not that same person I was. I should tell you I've been seeing someone, a therapist, and she has helped me a lot. To understand the person I was, and why I did what I did."

"I am so ashamed of that person. The one you saw in that hallway. So very ashamed. Sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry."

Brendan didn't say a word. He just let me speak my piece.

"And afterwards, in the parking lot, and back at the house... that conversation is engraved in my brain. Now, remembering... I realize I must have sounded like an idiot. Everything I said was just bullshit! I never gave you any kind of valid reason. I was just spouting excuses. Even later, when we met for the last time and I tried to explain again how it happened, it was still a bunch of crap. Oh, I'm sure I believed it at the time, but looking back... it's like it was someone else spouting all that nonsense. I'm so sorry Brendan, you must have thought I was such..."