Sparks

I can't remember getting that wet. I don't think I ever got that wet with Doug. Ugh. And I know I didn't with Pete towards the end of my marriage. But I did when we were younger. Gees, my pussy even remembers Pete, and his peter. Fuck! I used to tell him that joke in bed. Twelve years, and Pete is still lighting my fire. What is it, forbidden fruit? The thrill of the chase? The novelty of a new lover?

Pete kissed me hard, like he was making up for all those years. Nine years of kissing. Or was he making up for the three years between my telling him to leave and his giving up on us too? That's twelve years of bottled up passion! Or maybe he's thinking of the year I snuck around on him. That's it, he's punishing me with his kisses. Fuck! Beat me baby, kiss my back into your life. Beat me with your kisses.

Arrrrrrrgggghhhh Fuck! I remember how he would do that. He kisses me, let's me get good and wet, then suddenly drives his cock balls deep and holds himself there. Fuck, I remember. I remember. Balls deep baby, balls deep. Fuck me...fuck em hard...fuck me hardest, harder than anyone has ever been fucked. Fuck! It's so good. He feels so good inside me. He's drawing out, and I can feel the thick veins on his shaft as they rub against the inside of my cunt. Yeah. My cunt. It's a cunt Peter. It was a cheating cunt when Doug fucked me while I was married to you. Now it's a cheating cunt for you to fuck, and get back at him. Fuck me Pete. Make me yours again. Take me.

His arms wrap around me and hold me tightly. I AM his. This is the mouth that can kiss me back into his life. I don't want the money anymore. It's gone anyway. I want the kiss. I want the arms. I want this big beautiful cock inside me for the rest of our lives. Oh Pete, I'm so sorry. I was so wrong. You are my life. So fuck me. You are my man, so fuck me harder.

He is. Oh this long lovely shaft! Oh the way he changes speeds! Long slow luxury humps, then fast and furious feverish fucking, then grinding himself in as far as he goes, filling me and holding it there. Angles too, yeah Babe, change that just a bit, and hit...me...right...there...oh Fuck! I'm coming!! Who am I kidding, I started coming when he took me and held me close, and I haven't stopped since. One wave of orgasm washes over me only to be followed by bigger and bigger waves of sexual spasm...Fuck! Pete! Whay didn't you fight for me? Why didn't you kick Doug's ass, and go caveman on me, carrying me upstairs to this very bed and fucking me this way that night!?

Fuck! It's the alarm! Pete isn't here. I dreamt it. Somebody is here beside me. He snores. He sweats. He smells. Ugh. Doug. Fuck, I hope he didn't hear me. I hope that was all in my dream. I'm very good at not saying what I'm thinking. But I was asleep, and dreaming. Now I'm awake, and trembling. I'm cold in my own sweat, and I'm so wet...Fuck.

"Doug! Get up! It's time to get going! We have a wedding today! Oh my God, dear, you're soaking wet. You've been sweating like a pig since yesterday, you really must calm down. It's all going to be fine. Yes dear, you get in the shower, and I'll change the sheets. You've soaked them through. No I won't be coming with you, you little pervert. There will be no nooky until after this weekend is over. We don't have time!"

Actually, we do have time. It only takes him a couple of minutes. I just don't want to spoil the gift Peter gave me in my sleep last night. I'm tingling. I do hope Doug didn't hear. Fuck!

@@@@@

I should have fucked Doug again this morning. Now I'll be horny for the wedding. Oh here comes our waitress with breakfast. Everyone is here, except Pete and his family, and the girls in bridal party. Tracy wanted to get breakfast at a little place overlooking the water so Danny wouldn't see her before the ceremony. Everyone is so excited. I wonder if anyone gets my pain. Here I am, marrying off my daughter while my ex-husband cavorts around like Mr. Perfect and my current husband smells. Plus I'm gushing wet after dreaming and fantasizing about fucking my ex-husband's lights out.

Fuck. There he is. Look how that polo shirt clings to his body. I never would have left a man with a chest like that. Fuck. Yes I would. I did! And there is his son. Oh fuck! He even acts like my son did at that age. Seeing him with Pete is like seeing Pete with my Petey...oh...that's what we used to call them. Pete and Petey. Then when I kicked Pete out, and my son started going by his middle name.

Oh aren't they precious! Those have to be his twins! They are darling! They look just like Tracy did, but they are more slender. They have dancer's build. They must get that from their mom. Oh...they do. There she is. She's almost as tall as Pete! Fuck her legs go on forever, and there isn't an ounce of fat anywhere. Oh, how beautifully she moves. She must be a dancer. Fuck! I can't stand near her in the wedding pictures! I'll look like the fucking Goodyear blimp!

Fuck, the hostess is leading them to the empty table beside us. Fuck. Doug has invited them to put our tables together, so we can talk. Fuck, she's so smart. She was a dancer! She danced for eight years with the Pennsylvania Ballet. Fuck! She's a star too? She's gorgeous, she's fit, her legs are perfect, she's a blue eyed blonde, her voice sings even when she speaks, fuck she's adorable. I'd sleep with her, and I don't go for girls.

He traded up. I dumped him. I took the house and the kids and moved another man into his place. I scheduled the kids activities so heavily he could never see them. I thought I was trading up! But look at him. He's perfect. His kids are perfect. His wife is perfect. He's more than recovered from the rape of that settlement I handed him in the divorce, he's thriving! Without me! After starting again with nothing! Fuck!

I should be happy for him. Fuck no. I should be happy with him!

Uh oh. Here comes Anthony. He was such a happy little boy before Pete left. He hasn't been the same. Sullen. Quiet. Shy. A loner. Fuck, the only open seat is next to Pete's younger son, and right across from Pete. This could be bad. He's sliding into place. He's looking at his brother. Fuck.

"Hey! I'm Anthony! I think you're my brother!"

He's smiling. They're doing that knuckle bump thing the jocks do. They're laughing about the fact that they are brothers, but both have the same first name.

"...but I go by PJ. It's like Peter Junior, but it's really for Peter Jacob."

"Well mine could be Peter Junior too, except my middle name isn't like Dad's."

"Oh...I know. You be Peter Junior 1 and I'll be Peter Junior 2!"

"Or I can be Peter Junior Senior and you can be Peter Junior Junior."

He's laughing! He's playing with his little step brother. They're talking about everything they like. Oh my dear God, he's happy, like he used to be. He's talking to his dad too. They look like they used to. They look like they should.

"Mom, I'm going with Dad and my brother and sisters this morning. I'll be home after lunch to get ready for the wedding. Ok?"

"Ok honey, please be back before 2:00 so you have time..."

He's gone. He left with his dad before I was done...fuck. He just blew me off. Wait. That's what we did to Pete, only on a much larger scale. Fuck. How could I do that to someone I loved!?

@@@@@

No matter how much I make myself up, or do my hair, or spend on a gown, I'm always going to be a fat, aging, insensitive, shallow, rude, uncaring, skanky whore of a woman. I left a man I loved in a way that should have left him broken and wallowing in debt and cheap booze for a guy on his way to wallowing in debt and cheap booze. Look at Doug. Well, the man can still wear a tux! He was so handsome when I met him. Even now, with the ravages of age, he is still charming.

This limo is hot! It's a Bentley, and it fits nine of us comfortably. No, luxuriously! French Champagne, Caribbean Rum, English Gin, Scottish Scotch...uh...yeah. Tracy looks so beautiful and so excited. I have to remember to talk with her about marriage, and how to handle men...

"Tracy, Anthony, Bev, I must have a word alone with you before we get out of the car. There now, we're at the church. I need you to hear a story of Pete's love that you may not have..."

He is so long winded. There's nothing he could tell us about Pete that...

''...just after you kids stopped visiting him he came to me, and told me he didn't want to be the cause of conflict in your lives. You were more frequently excusing yourselves from his visits and..."

"But Doug, it's because we were just getting to a time when things get busy for kids, and we pulled away from mom too..."

"...Tracy, I know. That's not my point. Pete saw how things were going. He came to tell me he was stepping aside, and if you ever asked he would be happy to come pick you up for a visit. But you never asked. We filled your free time to the point you never noticed you were not seeing him."

"So now what? Do you want us to feel bad?"

"No Anthony, that isn't the point either. We made a lot of jokes at Pete's expense. We made him out to be a deadbeat, and he just wanted you guys to be free to choose what you wanted. The problem is, your mother chose me at a time when I wasn't doing so well. God bless her, but the competition heated up in my business. Neighborhood delis were able to capitalize on the fact that their food was freshly made, the big chains had national name recognition, plus they sold gas, and P-Marts blitzed on the scene with clean, better designed stores, I couldn't keep up."

"And one by one, they bought you out."

"You make that sound like a bad thing, Honey. Did any of you ever wonder what the "P" in "P-Mart" stands for? It's Peter! It's one of a dozen businesses that your dad owns that have excelled by radically improving an existing business model. You see, he would pick a business and..."

Fuck! All these years, I've thought I got the best of Peter, and now I find out he bought out my second husband's business? Stop the presses, minnow chased by shark, minnow grows bigger than shark, and minnow eats shark who just chased him. Fuck! What a colossal fuck up I am! I ditch a guy so I can marry a new guy with money, only to find out my ex-husband now has all of my husband's money. Where does that leave me? Broke?"

"...over a period of ten years, all but two of my stores would be purchased by P-Mart. In return, P-Mart would pay and retire my corporate debt completely over the same time period. P-Mart holds the first option to buy my remaining two stores, and I receive an annual dividend for both my and your mother's lives based on a percentage of the annual net sales."

My ex has been supporting us. Fuck, I'm not only on the wrong side of this deal, I am beholden to Pete for our income.

"...your father, that is Peter, has paid for all of your summer camps, the costs of your activities, carried us on his very generous corporate medical insurance plan, paid for our family vacations, and set aside trust funds that would pay your college expenses while making them seem like scholarships. To skip the rest of the details and get to the heart of things, your father stepped aside, but has kept an eye on you all these years. He wanted you all to be happy, even if you didn't want to go visit him, or call him on the phone, or..."

"Alright, alright I get it already. We cut him out of our family circle, but he kept funding it. Why didn't he say something!?"

"Anthony, I asked him that very thing one time, shortly after we came to our business agreement. He said he didn't want to force you to love him, and he didn't want you to love him for his money. He couldn't stop loving you and..."

Fuck. If this gets out...no doubt about it. I'm the bad guy. Fucked a rich man, ruined my marriage, cut my ex out of my kids' life, then lived off his largesse.

"Doug, why didn't you stop us from talking Daddy down."

"I tried to. If you remember, I never told those jokes, Tracy. They made me feel awful."

Yeah, like I feel now. I don't know how this will play out. Peter is entirely in the driver's seat. It's supposed to be my daughters's most glorious moment. The white dress makes her look so pure, so beautiful. Danny is going to look so debonair in his tails, and Anthony will too as he stands up as a groomsman.

Fuck.

@@@@@

What? Both of them? They are both walking Tracy down the aisle. One on each elbow! And they are both beaming. Doug must have...he must have said...oh damn, I'll bet he asked Pete to join him. She's beautiful. They're all beautiful. I'm going to cry. Fuck!

"Dearly beloved, we are..."

I'm crying. I'm crying a lot. There is just so much to feel. It's my only daughter, but there are two husbands. I love Peter. I don't love Doug. I can't see growing old with him. Maybe I can..."

"Who gives this woman in..."

Oh no. This is it. They can't both answer...

"Her parents do."

Anthony? Did Anthony say that!? Smiling Anthony? Beaming Anthony? He didn't have a line at the rehearsal! Doug's got my hand, he is pulling me up to join them. He is kissing me. Pete is peeling back Tracy's veil, and kissing her cheek. Now Doug is kissing her cheek, and Pete is hugging me. He's kissing me. Sparks. There are sparks. Say it. Tell him you were wrong. It's a mistake and you want to grow old with him, not smelly fat Doug with his...Tracy is kissing me now. Oh dear, you smudged her lipstick, fix it! Doug's hands guiding me to my seat.

There were sparks.

Fuck.

The ceremony is flying by. I have to get to Peter. When? When can I talk with him? I need to tell him there were sparks. Maybe I can turn around and talk. No, he's got his twins on his lap. One on each knee. And Brunhilde is sitting beside him. That's not her name, it's Cindy. But she looks so evil, the husband stealer! Brunhilde it is.

Stop.

Be nice.

Ok. Cindy.

Fuck.

"...pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss..."

This was my favorite part when I got married. Sparks flew. Sparks, just like today. That was with Pete. I don't remember sparks with Doug. Did Doug ever spark me, or was it all his money. I can leave him. I can try to get Pete back! Or find a third Mr. to attach my "and Mrs." to. Pictures? It's picture time. Everyone is happy, but me. Why can't I be happy? Why can't I have what I want? I do. I took what I wanted. Well I took something, even though I had no clue what I really wanted. Oh yes, I can smile.

@@@@

I'm in the receiving line. Brunhilde's right next to me. I hate her. Well I want to hate her. But I like her too much. She'll be so good for my Peter. She is good to my Peter. My Peter. No, not mine. Fuck. I gave him away. The beautiful boy who stole my heart. Who stood up for me in high school when I was the new girl and everyone was being so mean. He made me a friend, and suddenly everyone liked me. The handsome man who I followed to college, and who always chose me even though he was the most popular guy on campus. Look at them, all five of them. Mommy, Daddy, Junior and the twins. Such a cliche. A beautiful loving cliche.

@@@@@

The dinner is good. It turns out Pete stepped in at Doug's request and upgraded the champagne for the toast. And the appetizers were actually good, and not the deep fried fat balls we had asked for while trying to cut costs. And the main course was a choice of prime rib or Chilean sea bass instead of chicken cutlets or pasta. Pete saves the day, again.

Oh no, Doug is doing the father of the bride dance. He can't dance. Oh my, he learned a step or two of the waltz. There may be hope for him... Pete's cutting in! Oh, the band leader is announcing him too! They split the Father of the bride duties down the line. No, Pete paid. Pete paid dearly. Fuck. I have to dance now. A dancing whale. Wait, Pete is still on the floor! I can dance with Pete. Go Beverly! Get your man back, if just for a...Doug! Right in front of me! He's blocking me!

"You're in a hurry Dear! Anxious to dance with the father of the bride?"

Yes, damn it, I want to dance with the father of the bride! Not with you! Did I say that? No, thank god. Wait, is this Doug? He's dancing! And pretty well!

"I knew this time would come, so when I heard Pete's wife was a dancer, I asked her to show me some waltz steps. She's so sweet, and a really good dancer!"

Brunhilde? And my Doug? Dancing? Like cheek to cheek waltzing? Without my knowing it? I'm not sure I like that! Where is she!? I'll scratch her eyes out! There she is, dancing with my Pete! The two timing hussy. Dancing with my Pete. Look at him! Look at them! They move like poetry. Oh it's so beautiful. And I'm stuck with Doug who dances like...dances like...

"Doug! You're dancing! You're dancing really well!"

"I learned! For you! Cindy told me you were a very lucky woman!"

Wait, was that a spark?

"Kiss me Doug."

@@@@@

Of course they were elegant dancers. They danced all night. PJ and the twins even knew some steps, and brought the house down cutting a rug when a salsa tune came on. Tracy beamed. Pete did dance with me, but by the time he got around to it, I only had eyes for Doug. I spoke with Cindy, and that thing I had about like and hate? Well, I like her. A lot. We aren't going to be strangers anymore!

After Tracy and Fanny left the party...did I just think that out loud? I did. I'm sorry. My son in law has a very cute ass, I just want to grab it and...no. Stop it! Fuck! What's wrong with me! I'm starting over. After Tracy and Danny left the party, I had a chance to sit down with Pete. Doug helped load gifts into our car, and Cindy was putting her kids to bed. Pete found me by the bar, and pulled up a stool.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I hurt you. I did it all for the wrong reasons."

"I loved you. Still do. I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to choose me for me, or go with a man who was better for you."

"Better?"

"He caught your eye for a reason."

"But still, they way I handled the kids."

"No, the kids had to choose me for it to be right. You can't force love."

"I..."

"You did really well. Look at our kids. They turned out great."

"Look at your kids. They are so cute, I just want to pick 'em up and hug 'em all night."

I feel so calm. I feel so...secure. I'm blessed that this man is back in my life.

"Pete? Can you forgive me?"

"Already did. Years ago. If you hadn't done what you did, I would never have met Cindy."

"Are you happy? Does she make you smile?"

"All day, everyday. How about you? Are you ok?"

"I'm going to be just fine. I just realized it today. Pete? Did you just tell me you still loved me?"

Fuck! Look at him grin! Sparks, sparks, sparks!

"Of course I do! I couldn't turn that off!"

"I sort of figured I had turned it off for you."

"No Bev. You'll always have a place in my heart."

Fuck! More sparks. God I want him.

"Pete, I want you!"

Fuck. I did say that. What is wrong with me!? He's looking at me like I have two heads. Well I guess I have two faces, don't I?

"No, no, no, I'm not done yet! Fuck!"

"Nice mouth!"

"Sorry. There's been a lot of that going through my head today. I haven't liked myself much this weekend. Seeing you here, with your new family..."

"Stop. No regrets. No do-overs. Own your choices Bev. You and Doug make a beautiful couple. The way you looked at him when you were dancing tonight had me awestruck. You never looked at me like that. Go home and be beautiful with him."

"But we're so fat, and old, and..."

"Then go be fat and old together. Or join a gym and get skinny together. Look at him carrying those gifts to the car. Look how he wears that suit. That's a happy man! Go home with your happy man, and be his happy wife!"

Fuck. He's right.

"Don't be a stranger Pete. Bring that lovely family around when you come see Tracy and Anthony, would you?"