Splashdown Ch. 05

Our trip was subdued. When we reached the house, we put our small beach bags on the kitchen floor. There had been hardly a word spoken since my story. Breaking the silence I asked her, "Have I messed us up, Kathy?"

She was taken aback, "What? No. You've been the perfect gentlemen!" She looked at her feet, "Gary, you took me to the beach so you could tell me that story, why didn't you tell me here?" Kathy was avoiding eye contact in a major way.

"Kathy, you shared some things with me before we departed that left you rather vulnerable."

Kathy nodded though she didn't make the connection, "But why not here, Gary? I know you did it for a reason."

I sighed, "Because of what you shared before we left and how vulnerable you were. I thought a public beach would be best."

She shook her head. Either she didn't understand or needed me to say it directly. "Why Gary?"

"Two reasons: First Peggy has always been my happiness and stability. She has decided to be neither, so I really don't know what we still have. That's a fundamental problem that I don't have an answer for. Before her I always found ocean waves soothing. So, there is part of your answer. It's a big deal for me to tell that story. Two things soothe me, one was still available, so I availed myself.

"That beach, though not well known, is public so we could not really let our guard down completely. I knew it was going to be turbulent and emotional, at least for me, so I needed an edge to keep my composure and keep me on my toes."

Now I fought to keep from clearing my throat, "Secondly, because you have volunteered to take Peggy's place as my friend and confidant. That's something I seem at a loss to convey the importance of."

Kathy glowed at that reason.

"Ah, essentially you have told me you have at least considered taking on an even larger share of Peggy's marital burdens."

There was an awkward but meaningful pause. Kathy didn't take the opportunity I was giving her to clarify or correct my statement, which I took as confirmation.

I ventured on, "I thought considering all you had shared with me, that you might be emotional as well, and might want to... comfort me after I poured out my core motivations to you. Especially in light of who those motivations were centered on and how they have been, at least partially, rejected.

"If we were here with no need for decorum you might really, really, want to comfort me afterwards. And showing you just how vulnerable I am I might not have been in the proper shape to deny myself that comfort. Being in public added a layer of subtle decorum to counter our emotional states."

Kathy, being sympathetic but playfully coquettish asked, "What exactly weren't sure you would be able to deny me, Gary?"

I replied matter-of-factly, "Playing my bagpipes, Kathy."

The laughter the exploded from her chest lasting long moments, thankfully breaking the sexual tension that she'd tried so hard to build. She shook for a moment longer, then seized up as something occurred to her.

Her face completely opened as her eyes went wide, "Y-You protected me!" It was a definite sign that our relationship had changed trajectory.

I thought about that, rubbing the back of my neck and smiled at her. It was a warm genuine smile that belonged on a pro baseball player in the cooler night heat of summer.

That did something for her, "Aw shit, Gary." She looked at me a little hunched over, clearly attracted by my smile. Apparently, that smile had the same effect on Kathy that a woman showing a really nice set of breasts to a man would cause. Her reaction made me smile more, which made her glare at me.

"You're my good friend, right?" I clarified.

She nodded, not sure where I was headed.

"Isn't it better to be compromised this way being angry, than just vulnerable and, well, ready?"

Her mouth fell open. Her eyes went bigger. Actually, they were huge.

"You are STILL protecting me! Damn Gary, I'm so embarrassed. And damn it all, you are... you're trying to get through all this emotional turmoil, and a weepy vulnerable female needing male attention has to be..." She slowed way down reciting rather than saying the sentence in her head, "... sending your hormones into orbit. I am so sorry."

"Kath, I can't tell you how much it means to have someone to share feelings with. To have a caring person and a friend by my side. The person who was supposed to care seemed to stop, then made herself incapable of it. I can't thank you enough."

She bent over a little more, "So we're good friends, right?"

Warily I answered, "Yeesss." She was giving off every known sign of a female in estrus. I felt like a fool for not taking her right on the kitchen floor. But I was the good guy, and a lot of time that simply stinks.

"Kathy, go take a shower. Use my bedroom. I'll give you some space. And Kathy, look in Peg's bedside table drawer, everything is clean."

Her eyes bugged a bit as the logical extension of my words came to her. She muttered as she made herself straighten and walked carefully to the stairs and slowly up.

Shortly I heard an angry cry, almost of anguish. I'm not sure why she was pissed, I started to the stairs. The next thing I heard was totally involved moaning. It was sexy as hell and not at all what I needed, unless I wanted to stain the walls or carpet. I decided to go clean my car.

When Kathy came downstairs after her breaktime and shower, she looked relaxed and more than a little anguished.

"This is sort of mortifying," she said through a bright red blush.

I got up and hugged her letting her know it was fine.

"Oh Gary, I mean..."

I cut her off, "Shhhh, just be yourself with me. If you did things right up there, you should have your discipline back. Am I right?"

She shivered a bit embarrassed. She gave a quick nod.

I added, "I sure hope so, you were up there almost an hour." I gave her a wicked knowing grin.

Kathy pushed back out of my hug and stared astonished into my face. I could only hold off my laughter for a short while. She he started slapping at me, laughing herself.

"I was taking a shower."

"Yes, but you took something with you when you went, didn't you?"

"Oh, you are a bad man, Gary." She stopped for a moment, setting her eyes, "You know I did, you bastard. And I spent far too much time - on your side of the bed - before I took that shower!"

That made me have to stop a moment for composure. I loved our playful sparring. Kathy saw she had turned the tables.

"You deserved that for making me blush so bad!" But her mouth was wide in a grin. Then her face went red with anger.

"Why are you angry?" I was confused. What had I done?

"That little... Peggy had those... things... in her nightstand... and still cut you off?" Kathy was ready to go up to the space station and slap Peggy silly.

I explained, "Sorry, you can't hang her on this one. She hasn't used them in months, we used to use them in our play."

Kathy was still red faced, but now with embarrassment.

"Damn it, Gary. I may need another shower now." Kathy paused eyeing me intently. "Can you stand my flirting with you?" She was in proto cringe already.

"Yes, I like it."

"It's not particularly professional."

"I would be crushed, if you were here just because of professional curiosity. No, I need a friend and you have been that friend. Kath, I hope you do flirt with me, or tell me off if you are angry, or set me straight if you think I'm wrong, or give me advice, or share a good time or joke: I want you to be genuine. Just be yourself Kath, that's what I want."

Kathy stood there for long moments thinking things through, "Okay Gary, I know you'll protect me, just let me know if I cross a line you don't want crossed: I don't want to make you more miserable." Her expression was certainly miserable, thinking of making me that way.

"You don't Kath, you take my misery away."

She shone like the sun.

* * * * *

Kathy

Kathy rubbed her temples instead of downing the drink she had made for herself. She couldn't stop thinking of Gary. He was capable beyond the point of being formidable. He was certainly humble, honest to a fault about his faults and short comings. Then again, he was over emphasizing those faults. That's where he lived now.

She had tried to talk Gary out of his mood. That was a non-starter. Especially as she agreed that Peggy simply didn't seem to be in love with him to any sort of commensurate degree with his love for her. Kathy saw where Peg may not be able to pay Gary much attention in the lead up to a space launch, but to fall out of love? That didn't add up. She was forced to agree with Gary that if there was an imbalance in their love now it existed before; Peggy's trip to the space station threw everything into sharp relief. The most important thing was that they loved each other, how could Peggy's mission have thrown a wrench into that?

Unfortunately, Kathy also saw Peggy's actions, they didn't indicate a woman truly in love. Those actions simply didn't show consideration for the man she purported to love. Kathy could see where unfortunate things could happen in love, and a space flight was uncommon enough to throw serious monkey wrenches into normal lives. It still made normal lives unusual, yet she couldn't make it add up any more than Gary could. If there was no time for intimacy there would have been concern, Peg almost seemed to display bouts of anti-affection. Peggy would be worried about Gary, then she would send another harpoon his way. It didn't make sense.

Kathy's brows knit. The situation hurt Gary, although in a way he understood, he seemed to be holding on to some terrible truth.

It dawned on Kathy that Gary was feeding her snippets of information so she could weigh the same things he was weighing. That must mean Gary wanted her to analyze what he told her and compare notes, probably hoping she could tell him he'd missed something. She agreed with Gary so much, that she had made herself stop saying things to Gary like 'it will be alright'. She had also stopped telling him that he was off base. Using those words would be uttering a lie.

What of poor Gary? He was strong and true, and if this was as bad as it was looking, neither attribute, nor the fact that he loved Peggy for all he was worth, was going to save the day. Did Peggy really understand what Gary felt for her and what she had in him?

Smart, handsome, brave, and true, Gary was almost a prototype for what to look for in a mate. Women would kill for such a man. And then the thought slipped: "I would kill for such a man."

Kathy stopped thinking and started rubbing her temples again. She scooped up her drink, sloshing some on her kitchen counter. More sloshed as she slapped it down on the nearby kitchen table after a deep gulp. She threw herself in the adjacent chair. Now her palms moved to her eyes massaging them through clenched lids.

Her thoughts betraying her, it was time to be honest with herself again. "Damn it, I can only think of one other man like Gary. It's not a good comparison for me to be making and still be an objective friend to either Peggy or Gary. I can't stop thinking of what having a man like that would feel like. What would that do for a woman? I only know of one other man like that, and I would not only kill for him; I would die for him."

The picture of that man faded into wisps that reappearing as Gary, as Kathy acknowledged the truth about how she felt.

Her palms dropped away and her eyes were already open starring at an indiscriminate spot on the wall. "Oh God, I'm in deep, I'm in so deep. I'm just like Gary in that way: how did I not see this coming?"

She pulled her feet up to the chair's seat wrapping her arms around her knees to keep from shivering. She spied her cell phone on the table. Impulsively she snatched it up and stabbed in a number.

"Hi Mom, how are you? No reason, I just wanted to call and see how you and Dad are. That's great! Hey Mom, you used to tell me stories about falling in love with Dad. I'm in a strange place. I-I was wondering if you would tell me some of those again. Yeah, I know there's no one like Dad. Um, well Mom, at least until recently." She listened to her mother's excited response.

"Well, no. Maybe that's not so great, Mom. I really need to be sure... because he doesn't know. And also, Mom," Kathy's voice caught as she failed fighting a sob, "because he's married."

* * * * *

Kathy pondered the next couple of weeks. She had a key to Peggy and Gary's house. They had both told her to use it. Sometimes she let herself in and watched Gary in the backyard before announcing her presence.

Sometimes he was mowing the lawn, she watched him while trying to sort herself out. Sometimes she watched Gary sit alone in the backyard as he broke down. She wanted to go help him. Honestly, he seemed to have it under control letting some out now and then. If he wanted to do that in front of her, he would. He needed to let it out. She hated leaving him like that, except she sensed it was the best thing to do. She felt warm thinking about how she was picking up more and more of his vibrations. She would wait until he had let out what he needed, and picked himself back up, before pretending to arrive only then.

Once it was really bad. Gary slid out of his chair as if pulled by gravity and pounded the ground while on his knees. He asked aloud, "Why give her to me only to take her away? I know she loves me, but I know the rest of it too." He grew quiet then answered himself still thinking aloud, "I had to see it: that's why. That's why I was given nothing else to look at for four months."

Gary spoke again, "If this union is not the direction my life should take, why not simply show me the new direction? Why let me see what I'm to lose and not the new direction I should follow? I know sometimes we learn best by withholding the answer to let us work it out ourselves: but help me work it out. Help me help Peg. She's going to need help."

He paused. Thinking it was over Kathy began to hide herself away when she heard Gary speak again.

"Your will not mine."

Gary hesitated while Kathy felt compelled to stay on the spot. After a short time that seemed much, much, longer, Gary continued once again, "Thank you for Kathy. I don't know what I would've done without her. Help me to do the right thing, Lord. It's easy to fall, easy to come off the tracks, and she's hurting too. She's looking at a life full of achievement with no one to share it with, an empty heart and bed, and a possible future with no partner, children, and love. That future is a tragedy. It's a blessing to be given someone to protect, give me the wisdom to find what she needs and help her get it. But selfishly, Lord, don't take her away too soon. I need her. I really need her."

Kathy backed away silently. She stole out of the house and cried in her car asking the same question to herself over and over: "He's such a good man, why is this happening to him?" Finally, she composed herself giving Gary a call to say she was coming over.

"Why are you calling? You know you can stop in anytime," his voice was warm and inviting though he sounded confused and worn.

"I-I wanted to know if you want me to pick something up." She had wanted to give him time to compose, yet that was a slip as she had just been letting herself in. She thought Gary sounded terribly distracted.

"Pick up... No don't! Don't pick someo..., er, I don't need anything that can be bought." Gary sounded chastised and embarrassed.

She thought, "Wow. He reacted pretty strongly to me picking someone up, even though that's not what I said." She thought, 'Those are possessive thoughts. Possessive of me. That's very good. Even if it's very bad.' Kathy felt warm all over.

Gary speaking again brought her out of her inner monolog. "Sorry, I meant I don't need anything, just get her quickly. I like your company, okay?"

"Your wish is my command," She hung up practically purring.

Kathy thought intensely, "I know what I'm missing. Peggy and Gary have shown me what two people can have. I know exactly what I want, but I can't have it. Why do I want the man I can't have? Please let me do right by them."

* * * * * *

L Plus 168 (168 Days After Launch)

(Day 168 of 180 days in space.)

Kathy

Kathy thought about this being the second to last weekend before Peggy's return. 'I've never pressed Gary. I've left offers both veiled and obvious. Ones that could always be covered as ego inflating jokes between friends. But he knows, and I want him to know. He has been a gentleman. Instead of tipping my hat to his discipline, I find myself regretting his restraint. Why? Do I want to be a homewrecker and a loose woman? No, but I do want Gary. And if I can't have him outright, I want a memory to keep me company in a lonely forlorn bed. We've had six months and I haven't had him. I thought I was more alluring.' She smiled a satisfied smile, 'That's part of his draw: he's true.'

Kathy knew her assets. She was tall and thin, attractively so. Letting her straight blonde hair grow from her former cute work cut for almost six months it now touched her shoulders. Her legs were long, at least for an astronaut, and shapely. Her breasts were nice, smaller than Peggy's for sure. But they had a great shape and tone, the term perky seemed to apply. She frowned. Peggy was curvaceous. Peggy was a little sexpot, wonderful hips, tits, and lips. Her eyes were large and dark, her brown hair was attractively wavy.

Kathy had a nice figure. She knew men had drooled over it. She was striking. Peggy was more va va va voom. Kathy was a classic beauty golden hair and sparkling blue eyes. Peggy was a hottie. Kathy knew the effects the two women engendered: men were mesmerized by Kathy, they wanted to throw Peggy down and go animal in the road.

Kathy punched a pillow. She rolled her eyes thinking she wanted Gary to throw her down and go animal in the road! He made his choice, he chose Peggy, that must be what he prefers! She was losing her objectivity. She tried for the thousandth time to think it out, 'I know I can get and keep attention, but how can I steal the sexual energy from Peggy when she's so sexy and Gary knows she a minx in bed? He loves her.' Kathy's head bowed. Trying not to give up or despair she kept thinking, 'I have a prettier face. A face men can fall in love with. But Gary's true and in love, and he loves Peg!'

Kathy's competitive nature kicked in. 'I'm smarter, and I'm true. I'm a woman a man would be proud of and would work hard to make my man proud. But I want Gary to lust over me too and I haven't cracked him in almost six months. Mom thinks I'm crazy but also knows for certain I'm in love. She's wary of Gary but respects him for not taking advantage of my offers... and for sticking with his wife after all that's transpired.'

Kathy tried to resolve her disquiet. 'I can't break Gary's resolve, and I'm not sure I want to. However, it's clear I want him. Maybe Peggy will come back and leave him, then my road clears. But if not, Gary will be true to her. How long will he go if she treats him as a second, or third, class citizen, yet doesn't cheat?

'I have more degrees. And I'm a red-blooded woman, maybe not as lustful as Peggy, but damn it, that has ratcheted up unbelievably since admitting to myself what I feel for Gary. Damn it, I started growing my hair out to be more alluring to a man before I understood why. I don't know if I'll have an opportunity to win him, but I know if I had him, someone more alluring than me could not take him from me.'

'It's been six months, in some ways the blink of an eye. I certainly haven't had anywhere near enough time with Gary, and we've spent considerable time together. Spending that much time together isn't normal, is it? He's my best friend. Now Kathy, you know it's more than that.' She beamed, 'But that's a huge part of it; he's my best friend! To spend that much time with your best friend is not unusual. But for an unattached woman to be spending that much with a married man when his wife is away, yeah it is.