St. Nicole's Christmas Miracle

Nicole pushed herself away from the table and stood facing me.

"Would you please hug me?" she asked plaintively through her tears.

I wrapped my arms around her, and hugged her tight. She kept crying, more softly now. I felt so bad for her, but I knew what her life must be like now, and I felt her pain. I started crying, without making a sound, the tears rolled off my face and dropped into her curly black hair. We held each other as if the world depended on it, and in a way it did. She felt so good in my arms, warm and soft. We held on to each other for a long time, not saying anything.

Brrrrrrrring. Brrrrrrrrring. The phone interrupted us, and she broke away to answer.

"Hi. Um, sure, if they want. They're having dinner too? Yup. Let me bring over their pajamas and toothbrushes. Okay. Say Bets, thanks so much. Unh huh. Bye."

She looked at me. "The girls are staying at their friends' house. I've got to pack some things for them. I'm really having a good time talking with you. Can you stay a little longer?"

I felt guilty for wasting her time. "No, I've really got to go. Thanks for everything Nicole." I didn't want to leave, but she didn't need me. She needed a husband, a father for her children, and I wasn't a fit candidate.

But I saw it in her eyes. I'd fanned out the little light that was there, and I could hear the sorrow in her voice. "Oh, okay." Neither she nor I was in a mood to argue. So I left.

I was still wearing the Santa suit on the way home, and it felt ridiculous. I punched the steering wheel. I called myself every name in the book. I felt the fool—why did I leave? What was I trying to prove? I never had dated a black woman before, maybe she never dated a white man, who even cared? Was it just that I already had my perfect suicide plan worked out, and I didn't want to spoil it?

My heart and mind were racing, and I was starting to lose control of the car, unable to see through my blurry eyes. I was only about ten minutes from my dingy little apartment when I pulled over. I tried to take deep breaths, tried to calm my beating heart. I needed her, desperately. Maybe, just maybe, she needed me too. I knew that we didn't really know each other. But we both needed a life raft. I needed to find out.

I pulled the crumpled green post-it with her number out of my pocket and dialed. I held my breath as it rang.

"Hello?"

"Nicole, it's Rick. You know, Santa."

"Of course I know—you were just here!" she said.

"I think I changed my mind. Would it be okay if I came back?"

"Yes it would! I was having such a nice time, and I was wondering what I'd done to scare you off. I'm sorry if I was too depressing."

"Oh Christ, no! That wasn't it at all! So it's really okay?"

"Rick, please come back. And thanks for calling back—I really needed it."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

I hit End and tossed the phone on the passenger seat. Thank you for calling back, she said. Maybe she did need me as much as I needed her. Joy flooded through me for the first time in ages. I roared back onto the road and raced back to her house.

She must have been waiting at the door, because she opened it right when I pulled up. I practically raced inside.

I started blubbering an apology, but I was having a hard time talking.

"Nicole, I'm, it's just, sorry—let me slow down."

She looked at me with concern. "What?"

"I left because, well, I think I'm… I'm kind of falling for you. Hard."

She looked back silently.

I pushed through. "Since the first time I saw you at the mall, I couldn't believe how beautiful you are. And at the party and us talking and everything, well, you're—you're just really an amazing woman. And as you might have heard tonight, I'm sort of a wreck. I didn't want to burden you with the embarrassment, well, of asking you out and you having to turn me down."

"What if I didn't?" she said.

"What?"

"What if I didn't turn you down?"

"Really?" I couldn't believe it. "But I'm not in your league!"

"I think you're cute," she said. "And you're nice, and you're good with kids. Look, you're asking for a date, not a marriage, right?"

"Well, right!"

"I already took the girls' things over, so nobody will be back here. How about tonight, right here?"

"That's sort of what we were doing before, huh?" Listening to a pretty girl cry wasn't exactly the best first date, but it was better than others I'd had—at least she wasn't crying because of me.

"Rick, I really need someone to talk to. And I really like you. I need company. I want to be with you tonight. Would you please stay here?"

"Well sure, I came back."

"No, I mean, stay the night."

"Oh! I would love too—I don't have anything to go back to."

"Then why did you leave?"

"Can I be honest?"

She smiled. "Look, if we're going to get to know each other, that would be the best place to start, don't you think?"

"I guess. Well, I'm too old for you and I don't have kids. And… well, I'm white." There, I said it.

She looked at me as if I was retarded. "No shit. That's why I picked you."

"What do you mean?"

"How many black Santas do you see around? Not many, right? With TV and movies and everything, even black kids think Santa is white. I wanted a white Santa for our party. So… I was pretty sure that you were white when I saw you the other day."

"I know it's obvious, but wouldn't that be a problem?"

"Not for me." She was brutally honest.

"Well, I guess it's not for me either. But what about the girls? Or your family?"

"What about them? The girls are adaptable. And if you and I would become an item, which I'm not saying that we are, but if we did, my family would just have to get used to it. Besides, haven't you heard since the election, racism is dead?" She gave a coy smile.

I really liked her, so I figured that I might as well cover all the territory, and moved on to the next issue. "I'm probably ten years older than you."

"I'm 34. How old are you?"

"41. You're 34? God, you look so much younger!" I really was surprised.

"Thanks, I guess! Look, even if it was more than seven years, again, why should anyone care?"

"Well, I suppose it shouldn't matter. I don't know, I guess I just thought you were younger. Okay, last thing—I don't have kids, I was never a dad."
"So you said. You seem pretty good with Marcy and Kayle."

"They're adorable. They're like the girls I never had."

"So. Guess that's settled."

"I guess. Look, I didn't bring anything except this Santa costume, and it's kind of itchy. Maybe I'll just go home for a little bit and get some real clothes."

"I'm not letting you leave again." Nicole looked thoughtful. "I've still got some of Duane's clothes in the closet. I couldn't get rid of them. They may be a little big on you, but let's see."

"Okay, okay. That wasn't an excuse to escape again, I promise."

She walked us into the bedroom. I was eager to get rid of the suit, and I started pulling it off without really thinking about it. She was sitting on the bed watching me and she laughed.

"Oh, you didn't tell me that you weren't really fat—now that's a deal-breaker!"

I was standing in my underwear holding the belly pillow in my hand, and I playfully whacked her with it. She in turn grabbed a pillow off the bed and whacked me back. We battered each other back and forth, until I lunged at her, knocking her backwards and falling on top of her. We stopped, breathing heavily, our mouths dangerously close.

I leaned in, and she stretched upward, our lips barely grazing each other. That little spark set off the explosion. We pressed our lips together, kissing furiously while I struggled to remove my undershirt. She reached under to help, trying to pull it over my head while we still were attached at the mouth, finally succeeding and tossing it to the floor.

We were orbs of raw passion, months of pent up desire and loneliness, finally finding an unlikely soul mate in each other. She frantically pulled her dress up, trying to pull it over her shoulders, and I helped, kissing each part of her exposed body that the dress revealed. We struggled briefly with underwear, bra, and panties until we were naked. Now both nude, we slowed our pace, each wanting a chance to examine our new lover.

Nicole's body had produced two children, yet she was amazing. I ran my hands all over her soft cinnamon skin, the slight imperfections and stretch marks a thing of beauty, relishing the feel of a woman underneath my hands once again. Her breasts were small, but proportional, with large dark areolas. Her mound had a little curly black patch of fur, trimmed neatly at the sides. She touched me back, running her delicate fingertips over my body, through my chest hair, touching me everywhere.

We went back to kissing, laying side-by-side, holding each other, softly exploring each other's mouths. I was rock hard now, and I pressed myself against her. She responded by lifting her leg, and I lifted my body to let her slide her bottom leg underneath me. I let myself sit at her opening, and then gently pushed inside.

She felt amazing—a fresh drink of water after a long drought. I pushed myself in, feeling her wetness. She moaned as I entered her at full depth, and I held myself deep inside her, not wanting to leave. I stayed still inside Nicole while we kissed, our arms keeping us bound tightly together. Her breasts were flattened up against my chest, and I moved back and forth just to feel them pressed against me.

We lay side-by-side, and I started leisurely moving inside her. I held her head to me, devouring her kisses, while I held her ass to thrust against. Nicole loved the motion, moaning through her closed mouth into mine. We rocked together, thrusting slowly, and I took breaks from her delicious mouth to nuzzle her breasts, licking and sucking at her hard nipples like little chocolate kisses.

I was slow with her, petting her waist and belly, her hips and thighs, relishing her smooth skin. I could see her getting close, the look of pleasurable desperation in her deep brown eyes. I kept her close to orgasm for as long as I dared, as long as I could hold out, maintaining a steady pace, gradually increasing the force of each thrust. Finally she climaxed for me, pulling herself close to maximize my depth in her. Hearing her cries brought me over the edge, and I came in her, my cock pulsing with release.

We lay intertwined, breathing softly in unison. She was soft, warm, and safe.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I missed having a man."

"Me too," I said without thinking, then after a pause "I mean, having a woman!"

"I knew what you meant."

"Nicole?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I asked about Marcy. I wasn't sure what to do."

"It's okay," Nicole said, stroking my chest.

"Would have had me even though you thought the belly was real?"

Nicole laughed. "Don't worry. I think you're cute enough, but it was really the person I fell in, I mean… Rick, I really like you. You're just what I need right now."

"Me too, Nicole. You're like a saint to me."

She curled up next to me and we fell asleep.

I woke in the middle of the night in a strange room in a strange bed. It was very early in the morning, and I could see tiny drifting snowflakes falling outside the window. The bed I was in smelled like a woman's bed. I heard Nicole sleeping next to me, felt her warmth, and then the night's passions all came rushing back to me. I couldn't believe what had happened. I reached out to her while she slept, petting her pretty face with the back of my hand.

Her eyes opened, and she smiled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I said.

"That's okay." She rested her head against my chest.

I pulled her away gently, pushing her flat, and she looked at me quizzically.

I slowly bent over, ducked under the covers and started kissing her belly.

"Again, Tiger?" she said.

I lifted my head from her stomach. "Again."

I went back to kissing her, peppering little chains of kisses from hip to hip, right above her pubic hair. She rested her hand on my head and sighed, gently encouraging me to continue.

I slid down further, kissing the tops of her thighs. She slightly spread her legs. I took the invitation, kissing her curly patch of fur, with moist light parted lips. I kissed her labia fully, with deep nuzzling kisses. It was hot under the covers, and I tried to pull them down so I wouldn't roast. Nicole helped me, tossing the covers aside so I could cool off, exposing her body to the cool night air. Her body was dimly illuminated by the pink street light filtering through the snow beyond the window.

I spread her pinkness open, pressing my lips to her lower ones. I took her clitoris into my mouth, my nose touching her wet vagina, drawing in her scent.

"It feels so good—Duane didn't like to do this," she revealed with a husky whisper.

I lifted my head. "Well I do." I took her back into my mouth, sucking her deep into my mouth, licking her clit while I sucked on it. I reached my hand down between her legs, and Nicole spread herself wider in anticipation. I eased my finger inside her, stroking her G-spot while I sucked on her. I nursed at her, cupping her ass with my hand to pull her closer. She was wet and plump; she tasted wonderful. I cautiously waggled my tongue across her silky flesh, tasting her crevices and squeezing her engorged clit side-to-side under the pressure of my tongue.

I worked her unhurriedly for quite a while, savoring the taste of her pussy, slowly eating her orgasm from her. Her orgasm overtook her suddenly, and as she crested the wave, I kept my face pressed tight against her, enjoying the scent of her lubricant while her legs trembled around me. She held my head against her, the clutching of her fingers in my hair synchronized to her cries. I lay my face against her, resting my mouth against her throbbing wet pussy while she came down.

I stretched back up, pulling the covers over us, making no obvious additional overtures.

"Didn't you want to…?" Nicole asked.

"I just felt the sudden urge to make you happy. Let's go back to bed," I said.

She curled up, and I spooned her from behind, pulling her body close, letting my hardness rest in the crack of her ass. She purred and clasped her hand around mine, pulling my arm around her body as we fell back asleep.

"Rick! Get dressed—the girls are home!" Nicole roused me with a loud whisper.

I leapt out of bed, grabbing her husband's clothes she had set out and that I had intended on wearing last night, but never got the chance.

"Just a second dear," she shouted at the door, while racing to put on her bra. I was struggling to put on the pants, but I still watched her in a trace, watching her graceful slender body as she was in the process of covering it. We were dressed in short order, and Nicole left the room, closing the door behind her. I gathered up my Santa suit, discarded to the side, and balled it inside her man's shirt, tying the sleeves and shirttails up to hide the bright red contents.

I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen. Nicole faced me, and slightly exaggeratedly introduced us as if for the first time.

"Marcy and Kayle, this is Rick. Rick, Marcy. Kayle."

I squatted down to their level. "Hello there girls, very pleased to meet you."

Marcy was a smart one—at the sound of my voice she looked at me with a sudden look of surprised recognition, then damped it immediately. The girls came over to hug me, and Marcy whispered in my ear, "I know it's you."

I guess removing the Santa suit wasn't enough of a disguise. I gave them a hug back, and stood up.

"Nicole, I've got to run some errands. Would it be okay if I came back tomorrow?"

"That'd be nice."

I gave her a peck on the cheek, and grabbed my bundle with the hidden suit, and rushed outside to my car.

I went back to my cold, lifeless apartment. Although I didn't get a lot from the divorce settlement, between that and the severance, I had more than Nicole did. Now I had something to look forward to. I took the gun out from under the mattress, turning it over in my hand, feeling the cold steel for one last time. I marched outside, and back to the pawn shop. It was Sunday and they were closed, so I brought it back upstairs, and stuffed it back under the mattress.

I went on a shopping spree. I bought a big turkey at the supermarket and it sat in the car, keeping frozen with the cold outside. I went to Toys R' Us, and asked what the most popular girls' toys were this season, splurging about $250 on each girl with the clerk helping me with recommendations. I brought it all home, and wrapped it to a background of WNIC, the local station that played Christmas music every day past Thanksgiving. My wrapping job was clumsy since I wasn't too much in practice, but my heart was brimming with joy.

Now it was time for the big gift. What did I need money for anyway? Better to spend it on someone else. I felt crazy for doing all this, like one of those stalkers who was infatuated after meeting someone for a minute, but at least I now had something to live for.

The dealer didn't often have people who didn't need financing, and the salivating look on his face was almost pathetic. In the tough economic times, they were happy to see any customer, let alone one who had cash. I got the little white car for a steal. I was almost shocked at how easy it was to do, the paperwork being trivial, and after another hour I was the proud owner of a brand-new Vibe, a temporary tag hanging in the window. I asked the dealer if they had big bows like you see in the commercials, and as it turned out they did. An extra 50 bucks, and I got a huge red bow, which I stuffed in the back seat.

I went back to my place, and loaded up the car with the presents for the girls, and headed back to Nicole's. I pulled up to the curb, right behind her rusty old Mercury Marquis. I was surprised it was still running, but glad that she wouldn't have to care much longer. I walked up to the door, with just the turkey in my arms.

Nicole answered. "Hi there, St. Rick," she smiled.

"Hi yourself, St. Nicole!" I handed her the heavy frozen bird. "This is for Christmas dinner."

"Oh my god, you didn't have to do that!"

"No, I didn't. But take that inside, and come out here and help me."

She took the turkey inside, and came back out, wearing that quilted cream coat that I'd first seen her in. She was a vision.

"You are so amazingly beautiful," I said honestly.

"Thank you," she said, blushing coyly.

I took her to the car, and started handing her presents. "These are for the girls."

"Please don't tell me you spent all day buying this stuff!"

"I did."

"I don't know what to say," she said, as I stacked her arms high.

"Don't say anything, then."

We marched inside, arms piled high with gifts.

Marcy and Kayle were at the window watching us with a good deal of interest. "These go under the tree until Christmas," I said to them as they opened the door for us. The girls squealed with excitement, and started running around as we stacked the gifts under and around the tree.

"Rick, I can't believe this, you're way too generous." Nicole looked like tears were forming in her eyes.

"Please don't cry. You're the best thing that's happened to me, and I need to have someone to be nice to. You don't know how close…" I stopped.

She looked at me. "What?"

"Nothing. Just enjoy it."

She knew I was hiding something, but she let it drop. "Will you stay for dinner?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

Nicole still had to work, and I still did my Santa act during the days. Each time she started that piece of crap car, and it sputtered and coughed as she drove away I would smile to myself, bursting with the secret. She was happy to have me around, and I worked on helping her fix up the place, buying new paint and painting the rooms, fixing a little broken knob on the stove, replacing curtains, repairing molding.