Stepping in the River, Twice Ch. 01

Note: This is a 5 chapter story and is complete. It will unfold on a regular basis and is based on a real experience (not mine). The philosophical intertwining is all me and the sex (which is less than copious) is from the caverns of my imagination.

*

I'd made the lunch date with Margo almost 2 weeks ago. We'd been sitting at the breakfast table sipping coffee and basking in the glow of a rare morning love making session. We'd been having problems connecting, largely due to our work schedules. Me, being the kind of person who doesn't sit on things that bother me, I'd confronted Margo with, "So, sweetie, you don't love me anymore? Your head aches seem to be more frequent these days, am I being too much of a pain in the ass?"

I had a smile on my face as I spoke, not wanting Margo to get defensive, at least no right away.

Margo is my wife of 6 years. She is intelligent, great sense of humor, and has the body of a runner. When we first were married until about two months ago our world had become a little predictable, not that stability is a bad thing; it was just that the spontaneity of doing little things for each other seemed to stop.

"Silly question for a silly rabbit. You only have to look into my eyes to know the answer to your question!" Margo didn't let me respond. Her arms were around my neck and she pulled me to her with commanding force to give me one of her two minute kisses. Her eyes were closed as she kissed me, as her mouth seemed to engulf mine, as her tongue danced with my lips. It was a kiss that reassured me she did love me. It was also a kiss that made me want more! Margo was making me feel like the silly rabbit.

That conversation was also over the breakfast table and we were both dressed and almost late for work. It wasn't until later that evening, after a bring-it-home meal of Sushi, egg rolls and sake that we ended in bed tearing up the sheets. It was an evening of what I refer to as "dirty" love making. It was "dirty" because neither of us had showered since early morning. It was "dirty" because it was a time when we never refused any request from each other. It was our time to practice the lost art of giving freely to one another without feelings of guilt or recrimination.

Margo and I were on our honeymoon on the little island of Katanduanas (located in the Bicol region of the Philippines). It was one of those five star resorts we'd come across in a glossy travel magazine where we found the little add making a spiel for people to come to the Philippines.

"That's where I want us to go on our honeymoon. Someplace where we can get a little sun, eat exotic food and fuck each other silly." It was the first time I'd heard Margo use the word silly. She had always been verbal about wanting me to "fuck her". In fact she swore more like a sailor than I did. I'm the soft spoken preacher-type who sees no reason to cuss and swear.

"I've never been to the Philippines so this will be an adventure." She'd said. "But you do know that there is no one I want to spend the rest of my life with, don't you?" I'd meant the words with all my heart. I think I may have even had tears swelling in my eyes as I spoke to my yet-to-be wife. I reasoned that if she was happy I would be happy and I was.

"Does this mean I, all by myself, will be able to satisfy all of your desires for ever and ever?" There was a glint in Margo's eyes as she spoke. "Mark, you know I will never deny you anything? So long as it is just me! No one else can ever replace you in my heart or in my bed. No one!"

Our conversation, the glossy magazine in hand and sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on my soft brown leather couch, had turned very serious. Marriage seemed to be a given.

"I guess it is time for us to talk about how we will be able to satisfy each other for-ever-and-ever. We both are 27 years old. We both are in great physical shape and we both love to laugh. Making love with you is mind boggling but there might come a time when the fireworks, for whatever reason don't light up the light. How do we sustain the love, lust and friendship?" Margo crimped the corner of the page in the travel magazine to be able to find it easier later then put the magazine atop of the mahogany coffee table.

Margo then sat on my lap, pulled off her halter top and gave me one of her long, deep kisses. Only there was something less frenzied about that kiss. It was soft and deliberate yet hungry and searching. I remember responding in kind to her probing tongue as if it was the most natural thing in the world. At that moment it was natural. It was full of a lot of love and was the kind of kiss that could sustain me in the middle of a blizzard.

Did I say I loved kissing Margo?

"Matthew, I think we need to promise each other that we will always be direct and open. I think we need to promise to never deny the other anything, unless of course I am having one of my heavy periods." I remember how difficult it was to think with Margo sitting on my lap, her beautiful hand sized breasts just inches from my lips and nose. I also remember feeling my erection through my shorts pressing hard against her pubic region, still covered by her own shorts.

"I think I'm following you though it is difficult to think period! So you think that we can sustain our love and lust if we promise each other we will never deny each other anything, anytime?" Margo had leaned back slightly to look into my eyes as she spoke.

"Yes, so long as that promise is between you and me. It does not ever mean another person. I am a good Catholic girl and want God to bless us and keep us forever."

"Then we have a "covenant" witnessed by God. It is an agreement that will be sealed when we publically get married but this will be our agreement." Being the emotional twit that I am I knew I was happier than I'd ever been in my life. I was more in love with Margo at that moment when we made our "covenant" than I could ever imagine.

There was a long silence as Margo seemed to be thinking or contemplating some aspect of our agreement. It was not a time to push things and ask for sex to seal our deal. So I watched her and waited.

"Matthew, I have a question. What happens if one of us, for whatever reason, isn't able to . . ."

"Margo, we can't see into the future. I can only tell you that my life would come completely unraveled if you ever cheated on me. I am trying to imagine the emotional pain and can't do that, especially at a time when I am happier than I have ever been. The only thing you can do is imagine what it might be like to walk in on me with another woman in my arms. What would you think, feel or do? Then you will have your answer."

"Silly me, that will never happen." Margo leaned in to me very deliberately and gave me one of her heart-felt loving kisses that made ever nerve in my body go electric.

Back to present time. My right hand holds a bouquet of flowers. I'd asked the florist to put a random assortment of flowers together so there was a lot of life and color in them. I am walking into the Real Estate Office where Margo has worked for several years and wave at Jenny, the front desk receptionist. Her hand comes up to wave as she usually does when I walk in this way then it goes to her mouth. It was a gesture that seemed to be a hand covering an escaping "oh." But I didn't hear anything and didn't think about what the gesture might mean.

A glance at my watch, a watch Margo had given me 4 years ago for my birthday, to check the time. It was 12:02PM and I smiled thinking I was "fashionably" late to pick up my wife for our lunch date. I was late by a whole 2 minutes!

I glanced to my left and saw Herb Cromwell sitting at his desk. He has been with the Agency for several years and we have met on several occasions at Agency dinners and picnics. When he sees me he starts to say something but I put my fingers to my lips as if to say "quiet". I point to the flowers in my hand and indicate I wanted to surprise Margo with the flowers.

Herb nodded his understanding and turned to pick up the receiver to his phone. The light was blinking indicating he had a call.

The door to Margo's office was closed, which, for just a minute, I thought strange. Like Herb's office, her door was almost always open. I suppose she might be in a meeting?

Slowly, with the stealth of a church-house mouse I pushed the leaver on her door down pushing the door open slowly. I felt like a little-kid getting up Christmas morning, a bit too early, hoping to see a huge number of presents left by Santa Clause. Then, as a little kid, I really believed in Santa Claus.

It was the sound that gave Margo away and sent me into a state of instant paralyzing shock. I recognized the sound of slight moaning knowing what I was about to see. My mind was not fast enough to catch up to what was already happening to my heart. Before me was Margo and Stan, Stan Masson. They were fully clothed but they were locked in one of "those" long kisses I'd thought Margo reserved just for me.

I stood staring like a little kid who couldn't believe what he was seeing. I didn't even notice that the flowers I'd had in my hand had fallen to the carpeted floor. I noticed Margo's eyes were closed and Stan's right hand was precariously close to cupping her ass. Only God knows what was going through my mind as I continued to watch them kiss.

"Ahemmmm" Clearing my throat was all that was needed to alert both lovers, I was already assuming they were lovers that I was standing in the doorway to Margo's office.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Margo pushed Stan away from her as if she was the most meaningless person alive. It was a gesture that was a bit too late for me to appreciate or understand. The context of my discovery was a scene where the husband discovers his loving wife is having an affair, but all I'd seen was the lusty kiss.

I didn't wait for her to respond.

"Margo, remember our covenant? No, I guess you haven't. No matter, it is now broken and you are free to live your life fucking Stan. Good bye Margo." I didn't close the door as I walked out of her office.

"Matthew, wait, I am so sorry!" Margo seemed to frantically be screaming the words as I stumbled my way through the Real Estate office. I glanced at Jenny at the front desk to see she too was upset with my discovery, but she did not seem surprised. How long Stan and Margo had been "seeing" one another I could not tell. I'd had no clue. Did it didn't really matter? Seeing her kiss Stan in a way I believed was meant for me, well, it was just enough for me to know things were over.

Before I made it out of the Real Estate Office my mind began to kick in and I turned back to the front desk. I needed to leave a message for Margo. Phone calls and face-to-face conversations now seemed pointless at least until I could get my emotions under control.

"Matthew, I am sorry. . ."

"Jenny, please, you don't have to say anything. I would like to leave Margo a message and I need to make sure she gets it. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course." Jenny was a woman maybe 3-4 years younger than I. She was tall, slender, with bleached-blond hair that she wore pulled into a pony tail down her back. Jenny had always been almost overly friendly when I'd come in to see Margo in a semi-flirtatious way. Why was I suddenly paying attention to her?

I wrote the message on the front of a post-it note. It read, Margo, now I know how bad it feels. Whatever we had may very well be on life support. Have the courtesy to give me 24 hours before coming home. Matt.

I handed it to Jenny, not folding it or trying to hide the message.

"Matthew, if there is anything I can do, please call me." Was Jenny, the receptionist at my wife's Real Estate Office, hitting on me? My response was spur-of-the moment and made more out of anger.

"Well, Jenny, how would you like to go to the Philippines for a week?" I knew I needed to get away for a while and thought the Philippines would a great place to escape. It was also a place that both Margo and I would recognize as significant having been there for our honeymoon.

"If you are serious, of course I'd go with you. When would we leave?" Jenny scribbled her number and address on another post-it and handed it to me with a sad smile. Was Jenny serious?

I just nodded to Jenny as I slipped her address in my shirt pocket and left without saying anything further.

As I began to push the doors open to leave the Real Estate office there was a large crash, as if glass breaking. Then I heard Margo yelling, "You God dammed fucker get out!" I was already out the front door. I guessed she was yelling at Stan but it didn't really matter, not at that moment, who she was accosting.

Jenny did accept my spur of the moment invitation and we caught the red eye flight out of San Francisco the next evening for the Philippines. No, I was not about to go back to Katanduanas where Margo and I had gone for our honeymoon. There were other nice beach resorts so I decided to book a flight for Manila then a connecting flight for Boracay. I didn't know anything about Boracay but did know they had a few five star resorts. It was very strange to have someone other than Margo next to me.

It was also odd that I chose to run away, so to speak, to that very country where Margo and I had gone for our honeymoon. It was easy to recall that wonderful trip. We ended up on the island of Verack for our honeymoon located off of the coast of Luzon about 25 miles. We'd caught a flight from Manila to the town of Legaspie. In Legaspie we caught a boat that ferried us to the island of Verack. Leaning over the side of the boat we marveled at how the blue-green water seemed so clear, letting us see schools of fish as far down as 30 feet. We'd been warned that the waters were full of sharks but we'd be okay swimming in the protected coves on the island. Margo and I did little swimming!

Margo and I were shameless the entire time we were on our honeymoon. We acted like the world revolved around we two, and for all purposes, it did. At least the world revolved on some invisible axis and Margo and I tore through bed sheets with maniacal passion. That first night we made love twice despite being jet lagged and beyond tired. We left our hotel room only for food and a relaxing walk on the beach. The rest of the time we spent lost in one another.

I remember the second day on the island more than the first. After all we had slept for 10 hours and woke to brilliant sunshine and skies that sailed beyond majestic. Margo woke me with her mouth, which wasn't unusual. She seemed to put life into slow motion bringing me to the edge only to back off and tease me. I was so raw by that time that her breath on my cock would have been enough to send me over the top. But that morning Margo had another idea I was not prepared for.

While lying on my back, eyes close, I heard and felt Margo move on the bed, a very large king sized bed. As I opened my eyes I was treated to Margo's wonderfully lean naked body. Her perfect tits were no more than the size of a softball and seemed to slither and crawl on top of me, doing her best to avoid touching me. I remember starting to speak only to be "shushed" into silence.

"It is my turn to do something special for you." Everything she did was special! Every time we kissed, held hands, or simply slept together was special.

I watched as Margo raised herself above my very hard cock and begin to rub it gently back-and-forth across her beautiful pussy. The saying "oh my, sweetie pie!" suddenly had new meaning as I watched her move atop my cock. She started moving the head of my cock back-and-forth from her wet little pussy to the crack of her impossibly tight asshole. When she did this I began to wonder if "something special" meant getting lost in her bowels where my single index finger had always seemed to cause her discomfort and pain.

I did not have to wonder very what "something special" meant because in the next instant I was halfway buried in her ass. My hands went up to caress her nipples, which seemed to extend into time with a rigidity I'd never seen. She let out a guttural "arghhhhh" that scared the shit out of me. Her right hand went to my lips as I started to speak once again saying "shusssh . . . I am . . . oh God I love how you. . . fill me . . . no, I love you . . . will always love you." Margo continued to slowly raise and lower herself on me until I was balls deep in her beautiful ass. At that moment in time I forgot about how wonderful Margo felt and gave in to deep emotions of what I believed love. Nothing on this earth, save dying and going to heaven, would ever complete me as much as Margo did at that moment.

"Matthew? Matthew, are you alright?" Jenny was touching my arm shaking me gently bringing me back to the here-and-now.

Jenny was waking me from one of the most memorable memories of my life with Margo. My eyes had been closed as I sat in the first class seat listening to the night sounds of our jet as it transported me, us, to the Philippines.

"Yes, I am okay, thanks." I realized I'd let myself give in to hiccup-like tears, silent and almost pathetic. Imagine a grown man rattled by the memory of what he thought was a perfect love. Well, maybe the love had been perfect? Maybe it was that we, as human beings, could not always resist temptation? Maybe it was true that we all fall from the grace of God and are destined to suffer for those sins?

"Here." Jenny was handing me an embroidered handkerchief. "Blow your nose."

"Thanks. I am sorry Jenny. I never meant to pull you into my world of grief. None of this is fair and I don't want you to be hurt by a selfish me." I took a deep breath then let the air out slowly.

"Matthew, you don't know how to be selfish but I do. I've lusted after you for years and feel guilty for taking advantage of you pain." I smiled, not because it made me feel good someone else "lusted" after me, but because Jenny was being honest. I could live with honesty. I couldn't live with deception or broken covenants.

"Besides I haven't been on a vacation for three years! When you asked me to go with you to the Philippines I thought this was a great opportunity to get away. I recently finished work on an MBA and have been looking for work that lets me grow and use my degree. I am most grateful, Matthew, and will not jump you beautiful bones unless . . . unless you want me to!" I think both of us knew I would be to self-absorbed.

It was odd but I felt fortunate to have someone like Jenny, who I didn't really know, with me. It was also odd because until yesterday I had never thought about even looking at another woman. Margo had always been my life. Margo had been what I believed the perfect wife, lover, and friend.

When I turned to look at Jenny, sitting next to me in the dim cabin light, I saw the outline of a very sexy woman who would, just by being with me, tempt me to cross over the line and break my wedding contract. The problem, at least for me, was that marriage was also a covenant with God. It was a sacrament I had no desire to throw away, at least not just yet. I was suddenly feeling guilty for giving into my impetuousness and asking Jenny to "fly away" with me.

Boracay was not at all like the island of Verack. It was more a commercial resort, located south of Manila and it served more as a weekend type getaway for rich Filipinos. Jenny and I stood out as rich white folk, even if we weren't really rich. When Americans travel abroad people often think they are rich. Boracay was just what was needed for me to get perspective, to adjust to my heart-felt pain, and call Margo.

I placed the call the third evening Jenny and I were in Boracay. Jenny was off doing a little shopping as I'd sat at the bar drinking San Miguel beer, which is a very good beer. It is easy to drink, high in alcohol content and always served cold. I sat in the hotel's bar drinking my second beer when I made the decision to finally give Margo a call. It took me almost an hour after making the decision to place the call.