Stepping Out of Comfort Zones Ch. 01

Karin and I had known each other for 6 or 7 months. We shared a lot of mutual friends and common interests. Most of our contact was in groups, at parties, trips to ball games and beach outings.

We would gravitate to each other at these events. We had both grown up outside NYC and while we loved LA, we missed the bustle of Manhattan, the theater district and a good delicatessen.

I was working as the production manager at the House of Blues at the time and would get passes for Karin and a friend or frequently just her alone. She seemed to always know at least one of the musicians on stage, whether the act was a local garage band or a world class headliner.

When the Specials skipped LA on their current tour by playing three nights at the Belly Up in Solana Beach, we decided to make a road trip of it. We both personally knew the band and loved their music. I got a friend to cover me at the club for the weekend.

I had been attracted to Karin for a while. While I thought there might be a vibe between us, I had not made a move and neither had she. Tonight, I was determined to take a chance.

I rented a Mustang for the drive, thinking it would be more fun than my Toyota Corolla. It was a limited edition and the one day rental cost more than my monthly car payment, but I wanted to impress Karin.

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On the long drive down, we chat back and forth, mostly about music and the band we are going to see.

She met the Specials while working for Bill Graham Presents where she was a promoter rep for shows outside the Bay Area. She had dated one of the band members for a spell, but he had left the band by this time.

I met them while living in London and production managing a series of anti-apartheid concerts and benefits. Long ago I had believed myself to be a revolutionary. My time in London rekindled some of that spirit. I found Jerry Dammers and the band to be truly inspirational and felt a bit embarrassed at my lack of activism at that time.

Both of us are learning new things about each other and I feel really comfortable in her presence. I reach over and take her hand and rest it on the console between us. Our fingers play little games in each other's palms as the sun drops into the Pacific.

As we approach the long, no mans land where I-5 cuts through Camp Pendleton, I bring her hand to my mouth and begin softly kissing the back of her hand, her palm and then begin sucking on her fingers.

She responds immediately.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

I remove her hand from my mouth and place it back in her lap.

With no witty response on the tip of my tongue, I come up with "Sorry, I just wanted to have your fingers in my mouth."

"Are you fucking with me? For the last few months, I have made it clear that I am interested in you. I come down to the fucking club and hang out just to be around you, but you take no notice."

"I'm sorry, I thought.......... I mean............. Wait a second, just give me a second."

"Okay, I'm waiting."

"I'm gonna be honest here."

"Yeah, I would like that."

"I never picked up any signals from you. I thought you were just using me to get passes to the shows and visit your musician buddies."

"Oh, fuck you! You can just turn around now and take me back to LA -- and again FUCK YOU!" She slams herself back into the corner of the seat and the door, as far from me as she can get.

Just over a year clean and sober, I am still socially unsure of myself. No longer able to muster up some dutch courage with a few drinks, I am lost on how to approach someone I am attracted to. And I have apparently fucked this one up royally.

While she already knows I am in recovery, I explain my sobriety based hesitancy to Karin. She tells me not to use my recovery as an excuse. And she is right.

She sits with her arms crossed, glaring at me from her hostile corner.

Then I tell her about a brief relationship with a woman I had dated in AA. After several dates with no moves on my part and what she thought were plenty of signals from her, she asked me, straight up: "Are you gay or what?"

Karin laughs out loud.

"Most of my male friends are gay and I have been a fag hag since my teens. You are definitely not gay. That woman was an idiot. But you sure can be cold, distant and hard to read. After not responding to a single move I have made, you are suddenly sucking my fingers while I am strapped to car seat on the freeway."

"Sorry, I.............. But before I can say more, she continues.

"Shut up, I'm not finished. Most musicians are so self centered that they are shitty lovers. And yes, I know from a lot of personal experience. I was chasing you! I wore out my vibrator from all the nights I went home unfulfilled, you moron."

"Look, I am really sorry, I know that must have been weird to suddenly have me slobbering on your hand."

"Oh fella, you don't know what weird is for me and you are totally missing the point. Fuck! Using you for tickets? I know your boss, hell, I can get into any show in town I want to. I work for a publicist for Christ's sake."

"Do you still want me to turn around?"

"No, I want to see the band. Dammers is an old friend and I would love to catch up or at least say hello. But you have definitely pissed me off."

We sit in silence for several minutes.

Shaking her head, Karin re-engages with me.

"You have a lot of nerve. If you thought I was using you, why did you invite me to come with you tonight?"

"Since we both know the band, I thought it was solid common ground. Plus, I love the Specials and had thought it would be nice to finally dance with you instead of watching you dance with other people."

"Damn, that is the sweetest thing you have ever said to me. Why couldn't you just say that?

"Hell, I don't know, I was probably scared you would laugh at me."

"Laugh at you, for something that open and endearing? No way. Men can be so stupid at times. And where the hell is your car?"

"I rented this because I thought it would be cool to drive you down here in something other than my econobox. I wanted to impress you."

"You rented this leather seated yuppie mobile to impress me?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, my god, that is so fucking dumb. Dude, you never needed to impress me, I think you are cool just as you are. A bit retarded about how to approach women, but cool. If the band sees this car they are going to accuse you of being a bourgeois counter revolutionary!"

The miles click by as we sit in silence and let the tension dissipate a little.

"You know any time you want to strap me down and suck on any part of me, you can just ask. You don't need to spend all that money to rent car. Next time, get us a room at the Chateau Marmont."

Unbuckling her seat belt, she kneels on the seat and faces me. Reaching out, she takes my right hand off the steering wheel and brings it to her face. She licks across my palm and up my fingers, using her tongue to push them apart and then slowly, wetly sucks each one.

She starts with my little finger, and ends with my thumb. By the time she is done, I am breathless, my heart pounding.

"Now that we are even, let me show you how to tease someone. She turns off the radio and sits back in her seat, reclining it a few degrees.

Karin had two dress modes: tight jeans and blouses or long skirts and t shirts. Tonight she had on the latter.

Pulling her skirt up to her waist she tucks all the excess behind her. She is wearing a pair of salmon pink bikini cut panties that appear to be silk. The dashboard lights are just enough to make out the fine embroidery along the borders. She begins stroking herself through the silk and I am struggling to keep my eyes on the road.

Gradually, her silence dissipates and is replaced by light moans and sighs.

I steal a quick glance and can see the material is now darker where she has been stroking herself, her finger now pushing the material into her slit.

"Eyes on the road."

She slides forward, spreading her legs and working the silk deeper into the folds of her cunt.

Her moans become louder and I am pretty sure the extra volume is for my benefit.

She keeps sliding her fingers through the slick material, her fingertips disappearing as she pushes the material into herself.

I can hear the squishy suction of her pussy pulling at the material over the road noise and reach down to adjust the hard on growing in my jeans.

Pulling her knees up, she wriggles out of the panties, bringing them up, over her knees and feet.

"Watch the road!" she commands and then sits up, bringing her mouth next to my ear.......

"Don't take your eyes off the road, but go ahead and smell me, taste me...." And with that, I feel the soaked panties pressed onto my neck, then dragged up over my chin, smeared across my now open mouth and then held under my nose.

"You foolish, foolish man. This has been on offer to you for a long time, you were just too scared or stupid to take it."

I breathe in deeply, as I suck on the silk, her musk filling my nostrils. Her other hand is busy in my lap, finding my erect cock, she exclaims -- "Nope, you are definitely not gay." Laughing, she pulls the panties away, reaches down and without unbuckling my belt, stuffs her wet panties into my jeans.

She returns to her seat, primly re-arranges her skirt and buckles up for the fourth time since we got in the car.

Two exits and 10 minutes later, we pull into the Belly Up parking lot.

I am still a bit breathless and my balls are aching. We are a little late and I want to say hi to Jerry and the band as we will probably start the long drive back before the set is over. We exit the car, me trying to act as though the last 30 or 40 minutes had not taken place.

But as we cross the parking lot, Karin takes my hand then nudges me with her shoulder........ "Chill out man, we're okay..........."Hey, wait a second, Can I have my panties back?"

"They are still pretty wet."

"They are Le Perla, I just don't want to lose them. Any chance they will slide down your pants leg?"

"Not in my current condition, no."

"Yeah, those jeans are pretty tight too. I noticed them when you picked me up. You should wear them more often, your ass looks fantastic."

"Well, I chose them for you, they're just not great work pants when moving stage gear around."

"Okay, I like knowing where my panties are stashed, but you have to take me shopping if you lose them."

"It's a deal."

We catch the cats backstage and share a bit of hang time before they go on. I watch her greet the band like so many nights before, old friends with many of them. I watch her joke and laugh with them but no longer feel the odd jealousy that used to plague me with her and musicians.

She is comfortable and easy in their company. I enjoy just standing back and watching her. But she keeps me close throughout our time backstage.

While holding my hand, she introduces me to band's the new guitarist and later while we are talking with Dammers, she puts her arm around my waist. Jerry raises his eyebrows at both of us and then grins, "So, you two......okay.... yeah, yeah, I can see that."

I worry a bit that the thick cloud of skunk weed is about to give me more than a contact high, but showtime is called and we say goodbye and head into the crowd.

This woman who I thought was dissing me for hair metal band assholes has just openly shown affection toward me in front of people we know and respect as both musicians and activists. The world feels a bit upside down, but in a really nice way.

The set is awesome and the ska.reggae.funk core of this band remains impossible to ignore. The crowd is moving as one, a sweaty, sensual mass of people.

Karin and I stand mid crowd between the stage and sound desk. The place is full and tightly packed. Some couples are freely dancing in the back, but most are crowded together, watching, dancing in place rather than with each other.

The band runs through their catalogue, Rudy, Gangster, Racist Friend and others. Deep into the set they begin "Free Nelson Mandela" and the crowd cries out as one singing the chorus. It's the summer of 1990 and Mandela had actually been released 6 months earlier. There is a sense and feeling that anything is possible -- the crowd's shared joy is almost tangible.

For much of the set we dance side by side, occasionally holding hands. But as the crowd becomes more active, I move behind her, taking a protective position, blocking her from those surging behind us.

She presses her back against me and I wrap my arms around her, clasping my hands over her belly. In rhythm to the music, she begins pushing her ass into me. Opening my palms, I press on her belly and she begins moving up and down.

Nuzzling her neck, I bring my mouth to her ear and start nibbling her lobe. I slip my tongue into her ear canal, deep enough that I can taste her wax. She leans her head back, sighing, but does not pull away, the crowd so close but so focused on the stage that our erotic connection goes unnoticed.

I run my tongue out around her tragus and then bring it back into her canal. She puts her right hand over mine and moves it to her breast. She is braless and through the thin t shirt I can feel her hard, erect nipple.

Without thinking, I pinch it, between my thumb and index finger. A groan escapes her throat and she turns in my arms to face me, putting one hand behind my neck, she pulls my face down to hers, giving me her open mouth and wet tongue.

We kiss deeply, my right hand, runs down under her skirt and grasps her ass, pulling her body to me. We are no longer dancing and definitely no longer discreet or unnoticed in the crowd.

Without a word, hand in hand, we head out of the club to the car. As late arrivals, we are parked at the far end of the lot, in deep shadow. Stopping every 20' or so, we clinch, kissing deeply, pressing ourselves together, our hunger growing.

I put my tongue in her ear again, this time she moans deeply into mine, wriggling in my arms.

As I come out of her ear canal, she sloppily licks my face and reciprocates, burying her tongue in my ear and then moving down onto my neck, biting and sucking as she goes.

I push my hand under the front of her skirt, seeking her cooze as she sucks ever harder on my neck. It's going to leave a mark, but I don't care. Finding her wet and open, I slide a finger inside her.

"Oh Tim, you are making me crazy, we have a long drive home and I want you now".

I lead her around to the front of the car, where we are well in shadow with a storage container is behind us. I move behind her, take both her breasts in my hands, teasing the nipples with short squeezes and giving her light love bites on the neck.

"Stop playing, don't be gentle, I want to feel you."

I pinch her nipples harder and she cranes her head to the left, stretching and exposing her neck. I press my mouth to her neck and begin sucking.......... "Harder, leave a mark on me."

Pushing my hands aside, she pulls her t-shirt up over her breasts and then braces herself against the car as I resume pulling and tweaking her bare nipples.

Grinding her ass into my crotch, she bends forward until her naked upper torso is lying on the hood. I drop to my knees and throw her skirt up over her hips, pushing her legs apart. Spreading her ass cheeks, I begin rimming her.

She responds by pushing back against my tongue, her sphincter already relaxed, soft and spongy, not the usual tightly clenched pucker you find the first time you rim a new lover. I begin to work my tongue into her.

Keeping my tongue as firm and hard as I can, I keep trying to push it into her. She reaches around and pulls her cheeks further apart for me.

She is so relaxed that I actually get my tongue fully inside, past both rings of sphincter muscles, into her rectum. It is something I have never achieved before. It almost makes me come and I just keep thrusting it into her, my face smashed into her crack.

I reach out to search for her pussy and find it open and literally dripping. But the way Karin is pushed up against the hood, the angle is all wrong for any entry. I spread her juices around and then bring my fingers to her ass, coating her crack and sphincter. I easily slide a cooze soaked finger into her anus, hooking it against the wall of her rectum.

Now standing upright behind her, my other hand reaches down and sloppily rubs her labia and what I am hoping is her clit area.

Because she is holding her ass open, her upper body is unsupported, naked, dead weight on the hood of the car. As she moves against me, her breasts and the left side of her face are being dragged back and forth across the intake louvers on the hood. It's got to hurt, but rather than take her hands and use them to support herself, she keeps her ass spread open.

Grunting and moaning, there is a stream of drool spilling off her chin and cheek onto the car hood as she ruts her ass against my finger, now buried to its web.

I am torn. I'm a bit freaked out over how roughly she is treating herself in her desire for climax. But so aroused myself, that I sink a second finger into her ass and begin working them deep and hard.

Letting go of her cheeks, she throws her arms up onto the hood and pulls herself up, my fingers coming out of her ass in the process.

Rolling onto her back, she holds herself open again and I hook both fingers back into her, working her as deeply as I can, stroking and roaming the walls of her rectum. She is clean inside, clear of any fecal matter and my desire crests, I want my cock inside her.

With my left hand, I am fumbling with my pants, The fly buttons finally come free, her panties now snagged on my fingers.

Her right hand is busy inside her cooze, fingers buried and digging away while her left middle and index finger have scissored her clit and are running up and down, pulling it taut each time.

She is bucking up against my fingers, the back of her head banging on the car hood. My fingers are stroking the membrane wall between her rectum and vagina.

"Oh God! Keep that up, work my ass like that."

I am amazed as I have never seen a woman react to ass stimulation like this. I am rock hard and more turned on than I have ever been. I am living a reality beyond my freakiest fantasies.

She raises her head, letting her eyes roam over both of us, our hands buried inside her, my cock out, my jeans around my ankles

"Holy shit, how did you learn how to do this, you crazy snowflake, come on, fuck my ass.............. pllllleeeeeeaaassssse"

Her hips are raising off the hood of the car, her cunt is fully distended, labia spread wide open as they swallow her hand and her sphincter is beginning to gape and constrict in time with my finger pulls. I am awestruck at the woman before me and the erotic desire emanating from her.

Her panties now wrapped around my hand, I am stroking my cock and am trying to enter her but between my pants bunched around my ankles and her thrashing about, it's proving difficult to get in position.

"Oh Tim, come on and fuck me. I want you in my ass!...................... Oh, come on, pleeeeaaassee, put it in me NOW........................Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, it's too late!" she cries.

With my fingers still buried her ass, hers in her cunt, she begins spraying. At first I think it is come squirt, but as her hand exits her cooze, there is a constant, yellow torrent, full, thick and hot. And it smells like piss. Karin's sphincter is convulsing around my fingers as her body thrashes about on the hood.

I have never done more than a little piss play in the shower, so this is way outside of my comfort zone. Still unsure if it is squirt or piss, I put my left hand into the spray and bring her soaked panties to my mouth, smelling it, sucking it from the drenched silk. It is most definitely piss.