Stranded Ch. 13

"Father can't keep you safe forever." I swallowed past the knot of fear in my throat and without responding, made my way inside. Mary waved me into the kitchen and took the bucket, sending me back for the rest. I could feel Noah's eyes on me as I walked back out. I dug my nails into my palm to keep myself from looking back. I was not going to let him know that he got to me. I made two more trips, setting each bucket beside the first. I stepped out onto the front porch just as Dale poured out the bucket of entrails into the pig trough.

I felt dizzy by the time I finished, and we headed inside to clean up for supper. He handed me off to Emily who inspected the wound before leading me to the shower. She bustled about, turning on the water, checking the temperature, grabbing me a towel from under the sink, she pulled out a few bottles of shampoo and body wash, setting them inside.

"I'll be right outside the door if you need anything, you can wash your hair just do your best not to get your stitches wet." Then I was alone. I glanced at the running water, knowing that Emily wasn't far. Not wanting to ruin the illusion of privacy, I sighed and hopped in. It felt good to wash, and not have to deal with Sam's hands running over my body. He had an effect on me, one that I didn't even want to admit to myself. Time was running out; my defenses were starting to crumble.

When I was finished Emily sat me on the toilet and French braided my hair before giving me two more white pills and led me to the dining room where Zeke sat sulking at the table, arms wrapped across his chest, his eyes staring down. As if he could burn holes right through it. He looked up when we entered the room, but he only stared for a brief second before quickly looking away. Mary turned and cleared her throat, wiping her hands off on her apron.

"Ezekiel, I believe you have something you would like to say?" He pursed his lips, the pout setting in.

"Ezekiel..." Her voice trailed off in warning. He let out a small growl and turned, arms still across his chest as he shuffled his feet.

"I'm sorry." He muttered the words beneath his breath, so faint I barely heard it.

"Boy, you can apologize better than that!" Dale warned.

"I should have never touched you like...like I did. It wasn't right and I'm sorry." I felt a few sets of eyes looking at me expectantly. Was I supposed to forgive him? I began to stutter as I searched for a response, but I was saved when a small group of children began filing in. Emily ushered me to my seat and Zeke turned back around to face the table.

Was he actually sorry? Or were they simply words he was repeating to stay out of trouble? It took nearly twenty minutes for the rest of Dale's offspring join us, Mary had set the butchered birds aside and joined us as well. When Zeke reached for my hand for prayer, I nearly fell against Dale from jerking away so fast. Silence fell over the room and Zeke slammed his fist on the table before standing abruptly, shoving his chair back carelessly as he stomped his way out. Mary looked as though she would bolt up and follow him, but Dale held up his hand.

"Let him go." She looked torn but didn't try to get up after that. As I shoveled casserole into my mouth I listened to the conversation. Dale mentioned Jacob and Esau each out making deliveries, one of his boys was close to getting his trucking license and another was finally ready to take his first wife.

"Who will take him?" Byron raised his hand and smiled.

"I will Father. I feel the calling. I hope to find a second wife while we're out." His hand rested on Dahlia's tattooed shoulder and while she gave him a warm smile, it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"How do you decide when to take a wife?" I heard a few utensils clatter against plates as all eyes turned to me. Heat rushed to my cheeks, was I not supposed to speak? Nobody had stopped me before. Dale turned his head, looking amused.

"Why do you ask? Are you thinking about taking a wife?" I heard a few snickers and my blood boiled. It was so contradictory, they wanted me to know their ways, and yet every question is met with resistance.

"Someday I may have sons, I'd like to know what I can expect." I replied evenly, a flicker of surprise crossed his face.

"Men beseech the conclave, and if they deem him worthy, then he may take a wife." Was there any decision the conclave didn't make for them?

"Why do you have so many wives?" I felt brave and he seemed to be in a charitable mood.

"For God's Army." My blood turned to ice in my veins. Army? Had he just said Army?

"What do you need an Army for?"

"The Day of Reckoning, and when the Lord takes us into His heavenly arms, He will reward us for bringing so many of His children home. Just as David's victory over Goliath inspired Israelite soldiers to charge into the fight, our victories will awaken the faith in many who have abandoned it long ago. Any other curious questions?" I shook my head and went back to eating my dinner. I assisted Bethany in clearing the table before starting on the dishes.

Once I had finished with chores, Emily handed me a blue pill, to help with sleep. I didn't hesitate, I took it. I was exhausted and I knew I wasn't going to get any real rest otherwise. Dale came to retrieve me, reminding me that I was to sleep in his room. I didn't mind the floor, especially if it kept me safe, but I was surprised to find Lillian waiting when we walked in the door. Out of all Dale's wives, her and Abigail were the two that always seemed to stay aloof. I never heard them speak and began to wonder if they even could. She knelt beside his bed wearing a thin white nightgown, her eyes staring at the floor, head bowed submissively. Dale pointed to the corner and I didn't argue, even as the bile rose in my throat. He was going to fuck her while I was in the room, and he didn't seem to feel an ounce of shame for it. How could they think they were God's chosen people and still behave so despicably? I curled up, keeping my back towards him this time and I folded my pillow over both my ears, but it didn't nullify the sounds. I listened to the whimpers and pleas, muffled by the pillow, as I drifted off to sleep.

The pill had done the trick, I hadn't woken once, not until Dale was nudging me with his boot.

"Rise and shine, girl." I sat up and yawned just as he threw a clean dress at my face.

"Come on out for breakfast when you're dressed; Mary makes a mean scramble." He grabbed his thermos from on top of his dresser, where he had left a glass of water and two white pills behind. I dressed and began combing my hair with my fingers, wincing as I came across tangles. I wandered down the hall and towards breakfast where everyone was already sitting, waiting. I begrudgingly sat down, hesitating for only a minute before taking Zeke's hand. He held my hand delicately but kept his eyes down. I knew I would be sleeping in Dale's room, so I had nothing to fear from him anymore. I couldn't afford to be petty and hold a grudge, I needed all the allies I could get. Even if that meant 'forgiving' him, or at least allowing him to think I did. The rest of my day was filled with more chores, and while every muscle in my body ached, I was grateful for the distraction. Lunch came and went uneventfully; I spent the afternoon helping Bethany fry all the chicken I had spent the previous day slaughtering while she made the other fixings. When it came time to retire for the evening, I was given another sleeping pill and I took it greedily, settling myself in the small corner that had become my haven. I was out before one of his wives even entered the room.

"Your husband called to say he should be returning today." Dale announced as he handed me the extra curry comb. I turned my attention to the horse, brushing in a circular motion, the way Dale had shown me.

"If you tell Sam about Ephraim...or Zeke, He will tell the Conclave." I announced bravely.

"I'm not gonna lie for you, heathen."

"Nor would I ask you to. I just fear what the Conclave will do when they find out, especially since Zeke has killed before and came pretty close to doing it again." His eyes narrowed but I could tell he was processing the information. Dale was no idiot, he knew what happened to those who broke the rules, especially if they'd broken rules before.

"I will follow whatever punishment they deem fit." I kept moving in slow clockwise circles as I found the task soothing. The majestic creature bumped me with his muzzle in appreciation, and I rubbed the spot between his eyes. I once dreamed of owning a horse, as most little girls do, but I had never imagined the sheer size of them. Seeing them in real life was a lot different than a tiny tv screen. It was no wonder my father had never entertained the idea.

"Even if that means execution?" He sighed, running a weary hand through his hair, his eyes drifted to the middle of the room. I followed his gaze, noticing the worn marks on the wooden beam. Then it hit me, the small grooves had been worn down by rope and as I counted the little notches my eyes burned with fresh tears. Seven notches for seven daughters. They had hung themselves right here above our heads, or so the story went. Something deep down told me they'd had a little help, there was no way they had done it so systematically. After the first few, I just couldn't imagine the other sisters staying brave enough to follow through. And I doubted all of them did it at the same time, but then again, I knew very little about the whole family in general; and the little I did know, told me it was very possible.

"If that is their decision." His reply was slow and curt, signaling the conversation over. We finished combing Oliver, before cleaning his hooves and setting him up with a nice bag of oats. His coat had a nice shine to it, and by the time we were finished getting the horse settled into his pen, one of the smaller children came running in to fetch us.

"Sammy's back!" Dale thanked him as he ruffled the young boy's hair and nodded in my direction. I followed him, hands reaching to make sure my stitches were covered, tucking the hair behind my ear to keep it in place. My stomach felt uneasy, and I came to the realization I was nervous, though I couldn't figure out why. I had been good, exemplary behavior really, given the circumstances I had been thrown into. My heartbeat as fast as a hummingbird as I followed. Sam was quite the vision, standing by the hood of his truck, surrounded by a group of small children, a toddler on his hip. When he turned and saw me approaching, he handed the toddler over to an older sibling and the kids parted. By the time I realized I was even moving, I had already sprinted halfway across the yard, throwing myself against him like something out of a cheesy movie, but I didn't care at that moment. His body was stiff at first before eventually relaxing in my grip, his arms lazily enveloping me in return.

"God, I've missed you."

~

It was exhilarating, having a woman to call his own again. His birthday had recently passed and with it, the urge to settle down had gotten stronger. After Megan's untimely death, he swore off marriage, the pain of losing her had been too much, it nearly broke him. He'd gotten some offers from distant cousins, distant enough he had been assured that there were no chances of mutated offspring, but the idea never appealed to him. He'd claimed no need for a wife, that was, until he came across her, his stranded damsel in distress. She had looked like an angel curled up in her driver's seat with nothing but a poor excuse for a blanket swaddling her. It was frustrating, truth be told, he had tried to deny that part of himself for so long, hoping maybe it would go away. But it hadn't. He knew the moment he laid his eyes on her that she was meant for him. Not even with Megan had he felt so sure of something, he felt it all the way down to his bones. Three days without her had been three days too long. She was a little thicker than his last wife, but he found himself getting stiff at the thought of her soft curves and all the things he was going to do with them the moment he got her home. She was trouble, there was no doubt about it, but he didn't necessarily mind; it was just enough to keep him busy, and his brain quiet. Then, just when he finally thought he had her all figured out, she did something totally unexpected, like hugging him as though he was a life preserver and she was lost at sea.

~

I squeezed him and it took every bit of my self-control left not to fall apart in his arms. After a few minutes he cupped my face, lifting it until we locked gazes. He smiled so wide I caught a glimpse of dimples I hadn't known existed. I gave him my best smile, the one I used to practice in the mirror before school every day. I was used to putting on the mask, it was the smile that said everything was okay, that I was okay; even when the complete opposite was true. He pulled me in for a kiss, tasting of Doritos and cheap coffee, lips almost frantic as they sought mine. There were a few Oohs and Ahhs from the younger children before their father shooed them away. Sam pulled me against him, showing me just how excited he was before he ran a hand through my hair. It was as though the world around us suddenly stood still. He tensed as his finger ran over the small knotted bump and I rested my hand over his, pulling it away as I pleaded with my eyes. Don't do this. His eyes grew distant and I knew it wasn't long before his other half reared his ugly head.

"Tell me what happened." The shadows retreated, only a little as he pivoted to look at his Uncle who held up his hands in surrender.

"Ask your wife." So, I did the only thing I could do, I looked him straight in the face and I lied.

"I fell and hit my head." I replied. It was technically true, although I only fell because I had been thrown aside.

"You expect me to believe you fell!?" he asked incredulously.

"I'm gonna let you handle this one." I glared at him, but Dale only returned it with an entertained smile. He hadn't lied, technically.

"What. Happened?" Sam asked again, his hand now gripping my bicep.

"I f-f..." He held up a finger, a warning.

"If you open those lips to tell me one more lie, I swear to God I will take off my belt and beat you right here, right now, in front of everyone." My knees nearly gave out but still I refused.

"It was dealt with." I protested.

"That is not what I asked." I threw my arms back around him, squeezing tightly as I buried my face in his chest to hide the fresh tears.

"Please, can't we just go home? I just want to go Home!" Home. I knew what I was doing when I said it. He froze, all that tension melted from his shoulders and he kissed the top of my head as he rubbed my back in a small circular motion.

"We shall table the discussion for now, but you will tell me." I breathed a sigh of relief. I had bought myself some time, but how much? Thankfully Zeke was nowhere to be found and not a single wife offered up the details as we said our goodbyes. It was the first time I found their silence comforting. The ride back to his house was quiet, the tension growing thicker by the minute.

"H-How was your trip?" Normally I was more than happy to let the music fill the silence, but he didn't turn on the radio and the trip wasn't long enough for me to want to ask him to.

"Good. You going to tell me what happened now?" he demanded. I pressed my lips tightly together.

"That's what I thought! Don't think I won't get it outta ya eventually."

"It was an accident, there's no reason for anyone to get into any more trouble." I spoke softly, leaning my forehead against the glass, watching the foliage pass by. He paused after he pulled into the driveway and turned off the truck. He sat there, turned towards me but I kept my gaze outside. Sam grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him, thumb tracing over the healing split in my lip.

"I couldn't recite a proper dinner prayer. Dale didn't like my improvisation." Sam asked me to repeat it, chuckling when I finished. His hand combed through my hair holding it aside to expose the small wound left, thumb flicking the stitches, making me wince.

"And this?"

"It was an accident," I insisted. The wound was anyways, just not most of the events leading up to it.

"Inside!" He released me with a sigh and climbed out of the truck. I followed obediently, where else did I have to go? The silence was deafening as we walked through the foyer and towards the dining room. He pointed to a chair while he made his way to the fridge pulling out 3 beers. I watched as he pulled out his keys, unlocked the drawer, shuffled my orange bound journal aside and snatched a deck of cards. My stomach filled with lead as he sat down beside me, turning our chairs so that we faced one another, the table on my left side.

"What are we doing?" It was an obvious question, but he answered me anyways.

"I thought we'd play a little game of 21, it's been awhile since we've been able to have a...heart to heart. Same rules will apply as before." He slid the second bottle towards me.

"For me?" There were no labels, and I wondered if perhaps one of his extended family members brewed it themselves. They need their hands in everything if they're going to be running God's army.

"Since you ain't pregnant, what could it hurt? I'm feeling generous for the moment. Besides, you had no issues drinking like a slosh when you first arrived." I took a swig, but I wasn't all that interested in letting my guard down, not around him. He dealt the cards, an Ace and a queen. I stayed, I won. I got a few minutes to think, I didn't want to ask the first thing to pop into my head, I wanted to ask something useful. Something that could help me get out. I wasn't guaranteed to get any questions after the first, but I knew I had to try before his inevitable question.

"Did you really love Megan?"

"Of course, I did, she was my wife." When he dealt another hand, I realized he wasn't going to explain any further. I was going to have to ask better worded questions if I wanted any real answers. When I won a second round, I took a minute to formulate my inquiry.

"Where did you find Megan?" His eyes narrowed as he considered the question carefully.

"Before Uncle Hank passed, I worked for Uncle Dale driving his trucks. I had a regular route and there was this Diner I would stop at right before coming home, Chocolate Bear Diner. I still have no clue where the name came from. Megan was my waitress. Even if I wasn't seated in her section, she'd always manage to be the one who took my order. I fell for her smile first." He cleared his throat and dealt again. He won, giving me a sinking feeling in my gut, I knew what was to come.

"What did you hit your head on?"

"The corner of Zeke's desk, it was an accident."

"You don't have to keep repeating that, I don't believe you! Tell me, which cousin was it?" I knew the moment he pulled the deck of cards out that it was going to be one of his questions.

"Please, don't make me tell you." I whispered softly. He slammed a fist on the table.

"Answer the fucking question!"

"I don't want to." I protested. He took a slow, calming breath and leaned in.

"Don't break the rules of the game, KitKat."

"What are you going to do once I tell you?"

"It is not your turn to ask questions, it's your turn to answer them!" A warning that I was pushing my limit. I could see a cold furious rage burning inside him and I was terrified how he would react.

"Please, I can't!"

"We both know I could just make you tell me." It was true. Oh, I would hold out for a little while, but he was going to get the answer one way or another and we both knew it.