Strange Days Ch. 78-82

"Not exactly," she said, leaning back on the bench to get more comfortable. "The gods no longer have the power to choose mortal champions, nor can they directly call upon mortals. However, if someone is born that matches a god just right, someone like you, they resonate with that deity. In a way, you called Freyja."

My eyebrows went up. I sat down beside her, opposite Sarah. "How?"

Helena smiled warmly. "By simply being you. You're so full of love, Amy, so nurturing and protective of those that matter to you." She took my hands in hers and held them gently. "You were faced with an awful situation when you found Paula. You could have run away in fright, could have called for help, or called the police. But you didn't do any of that. You merely saw someone you cared about in distress, and you reacted."

I remembered that night clearly, overwhelmed with rage, seeing red when I saw what Todd and his friends had been doing to Paula. She was right. I didn't think. I reacted. I still didn't know why though. I'd never been so aggressive in my life.

I blushed a little. "Yeah, well, trust me, that was kind of out of character for me."

"I know what you felt, sweetie," Helena said softly, rubbing her thumbs over the back of my hands. "You didn't take on those boys because of a general sense of right and wrong. You didn't do it because of some higher feministic ideal."

Helena let go of my hands and cupped my face in her warm palms. "You aren't perfect, but what you sense as a flaw, a sign of being damaged, is actually your greatest strength. Paula mattered to you, honey. She was yours. She belonged to you, just as Sarah belongs to you."

I glanced at the love of my life and felt my eyes welling up with tears as she got up and came over to sit behind me and hug herself against my back. I reveled in her warmth surrounding me, her adoration, friendship, and so much more. Sarah loved me, despite my flaws, despite my hurting Trevor, hurting Violet, hurting Holly, and though she didn't know it, having almost slept with Phillip just so that I could keep him close, so that I wouldn't lose him as a friend. I wasn't perfect, but Sarah loved me all the same.

Helena laughed softly, drawing my attention back to her. "If there's one thing I am absolutely certain of, Amy, it's that one should never dare mess with what is yours."

Sarah chuckled, then I did too.

After a moment, I began to think over the implications of what she'd just told me, that my watcher was a freaking god. Funny how that didn't shock me more than I expected, but then I was going through life with a magic dick that could appear and disappear at my whim, so I guess I was kind of open to more otherworldly ideas.

"There has to be a way to find out who he is," I mused aloud.

Helena sighed. "Unfortunately, the pool of suspects is rather large, too large for even the Hound, though he has his suspicions."

The comment about the large pool intrigued me but I latched on to 'hound' instead.

"The man in black," I suggested.

Helena smiled. "The same."

"Who?" Sarah asked.

I told her about the man I'd met outside our apartment.

"Is he a god too?" I asked.

Helena shook her head. "No. He's a concept. So long as the gods exist, so does he. His involvement in their affairs waxes and wanes, depending upon how behaved they're being at the time. That's why his various incarnations come and go throughout history. When a god breaks a rule, the Hound enforces judgment." She shrugged with resignation. "But these days, there is no one doing the judging."

My eyebrow went up. "You mean, like, Zeus?"

"Or Odin, whatever you prefer to call him." Helena set her hand over mine. "The ruler of the gods is sleeping, much like the rest of them. Humanity evolved far faster than any of the gods predicted, and in their immortal arrogance - which translates to a complete lack of perspective when it comes the flow of time for mortals - they neglected mankind."

"You mean they became less involved," I offered.

Helena nodded. "Not only that, but the infighting bled over into civilization. Wars were waged for the most trivial reasons." Her expression fell, becoming sad. "Even the gods judged most benevolent caused more harm than good at times. In a way, Aphrodite can shoulder much of the blame for the fall of Troy."

I was familiar with the story behind Helen of Troy but, I had to shamefully admit, only because I was a fan of Brad Pitt. I was pretty sure what I knew was at least a little bit off the mark.

"How so?" I asked.

"Paris took Helen because she had been promised to him by Aphrodite, a promise she made out of vanity. Zeus had asked Paris to judge the most beautiful goddess, and Aphrodite bargained with Paris so that he would choose her. Her vanity resulted in the loss of so many lives, an entire culture." Helena patted my hand and smiled warmly. "But I digress. As I said, nearly all of the gods are still sleeping. Because the one interested in you has been able to accomplish so little, it could be anyone that has yet to come back into their power. The Hound has nowhere to start."

I wrung my hands together, but it was Sarah that spoke up.

"What do we do?"

Helena glanced at her. "Be brave." Then to me, she added, "As much as this answer is unsatisfying, you can only wait to see what he'll do next."

My eyes widened. "You mean that I have to wait for him to come for me?"

She shrugged. "In a sense. They will send a proxy, a champion, if you will. But essentially, yes."

"But the Hound will protect me, right?"

Helena looked away for a moment. "If a rule is broken, he may intervene, but..."

The way she trailed off bothered me deeply, because I was pretty sure I knew what she didn't want to say.

"But it may be too late."

Helena nodded. "If it were Hades, who I can assure you still slumbers, he would snatch you away to his realm, as he has done before. Someone would have to bargain with him to get you back. If it were Poseidon, he would wait until you were on the sea and seduce you into his waters, but not against your will. Despite what you might have read, he would offer you a life of splendor and the chance to make a difference in the world. The gods would act in their own ways, and without knowing who it is..."

"There's no way to tell what this one will do," I finished for her. When she didn't say anything, I asked, "Okay, what's the worst-case scenario?"

Helena cringed. "Oh, that's a terrible question. Some of their habits are rather...distasteful."

My voice raised before I could reign it in. "Well, at least tell me what I can expect!"

She took my hands in hers and calm fell over me like a warm blanket. "Amy, you'll be fine. Without a judge, the Hound would simply undo whatever is done. He has that power, at least. Even if a god forces you to adore them, the Hound would simply break their hold over you. And believe me, you should be thankful for that, because Zeus rarely ever judged that a beholden mortal be set free."

Sarah got up and sat behind me. Her arms wrap around my waist, and only then did I realize that I was shivering, but it had nothing to do with the cold.

"There has to be a way to figure this out," Sarah said quietly, though she was speaking to Helena, not me.

I glanced up at Helena and saw her look away in thought. "Perhaps," she said softly, then looked at me. "How did he make you feel, Amy?"

Like I wanted to get laid, to put it crudely. Just thinking of it made my insides clench again, and as the seconds ticked by, my body craved to be taken more and more.

I blushed. "Um, like I wanted to...er, well...have sex."

Helena raised both eyebrows.

"Seriously?" Sarah snorted, both in irritation and surprise.

"Interesting," Helena murmured, tapping her fingertip against her lips. "That narrows the field somewhat. Only so many of the gods can influence mortals in such a way, but the ones that can, that's how they would gather strength to fully awaken. For every person whose lust they inflame, they would grow stronger, and they would be able to affect more and more people, exponentially." She gave me an inquisitive look. "Amy, have you ever felt anything like that before, desire much more intense than usual?"

Sarah chuckled softly and her fingertips played with my stomach. I blushed.

"Um, sure. A few times, but it was always with Sarah or my friends, and I'm fairly certain there wasn't a strange guy around." I was reminded of something rather unsettling. "Well, maybe he was, at some point."

"What?" Sarah asked loudly.

"His voice was...familiar. I swear I've heard it before, but I can't place it. Maybe I've only heard him once or twice."

"Try to think, Amy," Sarah encouraged me, grabbing my shoulders from behind.

I wracked my brain, but I just couldn't pin the voice down. Iknew I'd heard it somewhere though. I tried to narrow my line of thought, tried to focus on those times that I didn't quite feel like myself, like the times that I really ravished Sarah or Violet. Nobody else was around then, at least nobody that I was only vaguely familiar with.

But there was that time with Phillip, at his apartment. I almost kissed him.

No. More than that.

I almost hadsex with Phillip. I'd wanted him pretty badly, and I'd never been attracted to him like that. Sure, he was cute, and he was my friend, but I wasn't in love with him. Of course, I could just chalk it up to my insecurity, that I only wanted him because I was afraid he would slip away.

But the way I felt when we were standing outside of his apartment, how veryhard it was to keep my hands off of him, I'dnever wanted Phillip like that before.

Then there was the frat party. I'd ravished Violet that night, and Phillip had been there.

Tabitha's birthday party. I'd had to sequester myself in the bathroom because I couldn't control my own body. Phillip had been there too.

And of all my guy friends, I'd spent the least amount of time with Phillip, the only one who could have been around enough to influence me like that, but not around enough that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't immediately recognize his voice if he was speaking under his breath.

"Amy?" Helena said.

No.

Sarah squeezed my shoulders. "Do you know who it is?"

Itcouldn't be Phillip.

Helena took my hands again. "Amy, this is important."

No!

I shook my head furiously and got up from the bench, pulling away from both of them. My heart was beating furiously. My hands were shaking, so I balled them into fists and growled, "No. It's not him. No way."

Sarah shot up to her feet. "Who?"

Phillip was such a nice guy. He was sweet, kind, caring, funny. He was cute, in that geeky kind of way. I mean, sure, he was charming, so confident in himself, and there were times that when the light hit him just right that I could see how amazing his features really were, like the strong line of his jaw, his gorgeous eyes, his lean build. I loved photographing him, more than any other guy I knew, and I absolutely knew that Phillip knew how to satisfy a girl, because I'd seen him do it first-hand with Mona and I couldn't help but wonder how it would have felt if it had been me with him and how amazing it could be to feel him inside me and how perfectly matched we...

Oh my God.

I shook my head again. "Not him. Not Phillip."

"Phillip?" Sarah all but shrieked into the night.

"No." I spun on my heel and grabbed her hands. "It's not him. There's no way it's him."

Sarah frowned. "Amy, if you think Phillip did something to you..."

I shook my head. "Sarah, youknow Phillip. You know he wouldn't do something like that to me, not to anyone."

Helena broke in with, "Then why did you think of him, Amy?"

I sighed and let go of Sarah's hands, pacing away and running my fingers through my hair. "Because maybe he's been around enough to be the cause of my raging hormones, because there have been times recently when I wanted him in a way that I never have."

Sarah's eyebrows went up.

Oh, right. I hadn't really told her about that.

I plowed on. "Phillip is a staple of our group. He's not around all time, but I thought maybe he was around just enough to mess with me. The guy I caught watching me spoke under his breath, and I'm not sure I'd recognize Phillip's voice if he did that. Trevor, sure. You," I told Sarah. "Definitely. But Phillip, I just don't know."

"What else?" Sarah frowned again. She crossed her arms under her breasts and stuck her hip out. She was pissed, but not at me. She wanted to do something, anything, and I sympathized with her.

I wasn't following her though. "What do you mean?"

Helena asked. "What else made you think of him?"

I shrugged. "For starters, he was at the frat party too."

I hated saying it. It was like I was incriminating my friend.

Sarah's eyebrows went up. "That's right!"

"It's not Phillip then," Helena said.

"Why not?" Sarah and I spoke at the same time. She sounded upset. I sounded relieved.

Helena told us both, "Because you went into a rage that night, and you said that was out of character for you." She sat back down on the bench. "It just hit me how important that was. If Phillip was affecting you simply by being near you, your desire for sex would have overwhelmed your anger. Something else affected you, something I'm missing."

She frowned then, clearly frustrated. "The powers of the gods are determined by their purpose. A god of love can help people find each other, or prevent them from finding each other, but they can't inspire hate. A god of war can fuel rage and bloodlust, but they can't inspire peace." She shook her head and stood up again, coming over to take my hands. "No, something else happened that night. I just don't understand what it could have been. None of the gods of lust or desire, and that also have the strength to cause rage, are strong enough right now, and that's what happened to you. Your desireand your rage were inflamed."

Sarah came over and hugged my side.

Helena walked away shaking her head, then came back, touching both of our shoulders. I felt calm fall over me again, and from the way Sarah relaxed against my arm, it must have affected her too.

"I'll speak with the Hound," she told us. "Maybe he can glean something from this."

"And in the meantime?" I asked, my voice sounding pathetically small.

Helena smiled warmly. "Remember who you are. That's the best defense you have against seduction by a god, and it very well might be all you need."

Chapter 82

"This is a bad idea," Sarah mumbled, shaking her head while I typed Phillip a text message on my phone.

Me: r u awake?

I'd left the park, and Helena, feeling much more calm and centered than when I'd first gotten there. Despite her assurances, I couldn't shake the feeling that Phillip was involved. He was my friend. I cared about him, a lot, maybe even more than I'd thought. I wasn't in love with him or anything, but he still mattered to me. If Helena believed he wasn't the god after me, or the god's lackey, then I should believe her. I did, but a tiny part of me needed to know for sure.

I sent the text message and said, "Sarah, he's my friend. I have to know."

She took a left turn and argued. "He's my friend too, Amy, but you heard Helena. It isn't him."

I glanced at her. "If you believe Helena, then why does this bother you?"

Sarah didn't have an answer for that. Her lips pressed into a thin line and her hands tightened on the steering wheel. I reached over and put my hand on her thigh.

"It'll be fine. I'm sure of it."

"I hope so," she said quietly.

My phone chirped at me.

Phillip: wuts up?

"Is that him?" Sarah asked.

I nodded.

Me: can I see u?

Phillip: now?

Me: yes

A few seconds later...

Phillip: sure. come round back.

About five minutes later, Sarah pulled up in front of Tabitha's house and parked Mom's SUV. I released the belt buckle and threw my door open.

Sarah grabbed my hand. "Be careful."

I squeezed her hand. "It's Phillip. I'll be fine."

She nodded once, then raised an eyebrow, and her tone left no room for argument. "If you're not back in ten minutes, I'm coming to get you."

I smiled and gave her a kiss.

Making my way around the side of Tabitha's house, I let myself in through the gate and into the backyard. The porch light was off, but the one at the small guest house was on. Trevor told me that his parents had it built when his dad's mother was diagnosed with cancer. The family had planned on moving her into when she was healthy enough, so that they could take care of her, but she'd died before ever leaving the hospital. Her immune system was just too weak and she'd come down with pneumonia.

"Phillip?" I whispered.

He came out from the shadows of the back porch.

"What's going on?" he asked, coming over.

Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself and met him halfway. "I need to talk to you."

Phillip frowned, but he nodded. "Okay, but everyone's asleep." He looked around, then took my hand. "Come on."

I followed him to the guest house. Phillip opened the door and led me inside. It was pretty dark, but he flicked a switch by the door and the kitchen lights came on. I'd never been in the guest house. Trevor's parents had kept it locked up tight when we were younger, worried that he might use it to rendezvous with girls. Of course, I'd wanted to be one of those rendezvous.

It was small, but really cute. It more or less amounted to a little living room with a kitchenette separated by a raised counter with stools. A nook with stacked washer and dryer was off to the side, and beyond that was a door leading to the bedroom and bath. The whole place was about the size of a tiny apartment, but I could tell that it would be more than comfortable enough for a single person.

"Is everything okay?" Phillip asked, drawing my attention back to him.

"Yeah, I just..." I started to say, but when I looked at him, the rest was so hard to say. How do you tell your friend that you needed to be sure they weren't a supernatural stalker?

Phillip frowned with concern and came closer so that he could reach out and touch the back of my hand with his fingers. Goose bumps exploded up my arm and over my chest. I didn't know if it was because I was afraid of what I might discover, or if he really was the one putting the whammy on me.

"Amy, what's wrong?" he asked, curling his hand around mine.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. So I just stared at his chest, terrified of what he might make me feel, make me want. I prayed to God, to Freyja, to anyone that might listen, please, please, please don't let it be him.

"Amy?" he said softly, stepping closer. Phillip slid his hands up my arms, holding my shoulders. "You're freaking me out a little."

I looked up at him, into his sparkling eyes, and the power in them took my breath away. My eyes blurred. My lower lip trembled. My knees wobbled. What I saw wasn't lust. It was love. It was friendship.

With a cry of relief, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as I could. Phillip had thrown his arms out, and he was stiff as a board, but after a moment, I felt the tension ease from his body. His arms encircled my waist. His mouth pressed onto the top of my head, and he began to rock me.

Being in his arms was so familiar. He felt like Trevor. He held me like Trevor. He even comforted me like Trevor. Before I could analyze that line of thought any further, he spoke.

"It's okay, Amy," he told me softly. "I haveno idea what's going on, but whatever it is, everything's going to be fine."

I let him hold me and comfort me, reveled in it, and I let my tears fall freely while I cried into his shirt, every sob building in strength and wracking my body. While I cried harder with every passing moment, I felt a massive weight lifting from my shoulders.