Subroutine Ch. 03

"I need you to turn me into a drone again," Lori asked, her hands balled into tight fists at her side from nervousness. She'd been standing outside Harper's door for ten minutes or longer trying to muster the courage to go in and ask. The moment the question left her lips, her gaze shot the floor. She couldn't bear to see the mixture of confusion and disgust that she was sure would be on Harper's face. After all, what kind of girl would ask to be turned into a drone?

Eventually, when Harper didn't say anything, Lori risked a glance upwards. To her surprise, Harper didn't look disgusted. She looked confused, certainly, and her eyes were wide with shock, but they were also shining with something that Lori could only interpret as intense fascination. She wasn't saying anything, just staring. Lori started to squirm from intense discomfort.

"I... um..." Lori had thought about what she might say, but she'd been expecting more questions and vocal astonishment rather than this strange silence. "I was just thinking that... sorry, can I sit down?"

For a few seconds, Lori thought Harper wasn't going to respond to that either. But finally she nodded, and Lori moved to perch herself on the end of Harper's bed. Since it seemed like her roommate wasn't going to break the silence, Lori decided she'd better continue.

"I was thinking that it would be a good idea." Lori gingerly rubbed her left wrist with her hand as she lied. "We... I... I need to find out more about what's happening to me. I've tried to research brainwashing and drones and I've tried to see if there's anything nearby or at school that might explain it, but there's just... nothing."

Lori checked Harper's reaction again, this time to see if Harper could see her true motive, as she'd feared. She was met with only the same unblinking, inscrutable stare.

"So um... I realized we don't really know much about how it really works when I'm... a drone." Lori had to fight the urge to call herself by the number her drone-self used. "So I was thinking maybe you could, yknow, use that trigger on me and then do some... testing, I guess. See how it works. See what you can get me to do or say. Maybe that way, we can figure this out. Or something..."

Lori's voice trailed off, and she was left staring back at Harper with nothing else to say. Harper still didn't say anything, although Lori could have sworn she saw her roommate subtly pinch herself on the arm.

"What do you think?" Lori ventured, after an awkwardly long moment of silence.

Finally, Harper opened her mouth. "Are you insane?" she demanded. Lori's face fell. That was a lot more like what she'd been expecting.

"N-no?" Immediately, Lori regretted everything. Coming to talk to Harper had been a stupid idea. Trying to lie to her had been even more stupid.

"Lori, t-that just, um, that s-seems really rash, don't you think?" Harper's anxiety was obvious from the odd way she twitched as she spoke. Lori was glad Harper seemed to be worried about her rather than disgusted with her, but there was an odd hesitance and uncertainty to her roommate's voice that she'd never heard before.

"It's not!" Lori retorted immediately, before biting down on her outburst. She couldn't seem too eager. This was already going wrong.

"Well, um..." As Lori watched, Harper's face flitted through a dozen expressions, each one so quick that Lori didn't have time to register them. "Isn't there something else you can try first? I know you want to figure this out, but turning you into a... are you sure that's really a good idea?"

"I really think it is, Harper." Lori started reviewing the mental list of reasons and arguments she'd noted before coming to Harper, memorized from the notepad file she'd been working on for days. "There just isn't anything else I can do. I've tried, I promise. If you've got any suggestions then I'm all ears, but I bet you don't."

Lori was telling the truth about that. She really had exhausted all possible avenues of investigation that she could think of.

"A-are you really sure you can't remember anything else about what happened the first time you activated?" Harper asked. Lori rolled her eyes.

"I've told you before, I really can't remember." That was also true. She remembered Professor Elbourne using her activation phrase, but that was about it.

"Then how about you ask her about it? Maybe she knows something."

"I'm pretty sure it was just a random number," Lori said impatiently. In truth she wasn't as sure of that as she was pretending, but she needed to convince Harper to activate her.

"O-oh, right." Lori's hopes surged as Harper fell quiet, clearly searching for another reason not to go through with what Lori had proposed. That was good. It was obvious Harper was running out of reasons to say 'no'. "But Lori, even so, I..." There was a strange note of conflict in Harper's voice, as if she was being torn between horror and excitement. "How do we even know it's safe? There's so much we don't know, this seems like a really bad-"

"Exactly! We don't know anything. That's why we have to do this." Lori realized that was probably the first time she'd ever interrupted Harper. She was doing a bad job of suppressing her enthusiasm, but she couldn't bring herself to care. "Besides, we do know it's safe. Remember before, that first day? You activated me and then woke me back up again easily, without any problems."

"I... I guess..." Harper fell silent for a long time after that. Eventually, Lori realized her roommate had run out of protests.

"So," she asked insistently. "What do you say? Will you do it?"

The expression that passed over Harper's face for the next few seconds was one of the most pained and tortured Lori had even seen. It was like the girl was at war with herself. But eventually, a kind of stoic peace spread across her expression and she replied with a stern "No."

Lori's whole body sagged. "Why?" she asked defeated.

"Lori, I just..." Harper swallowed uncomfortable. "I just don't think it's a very good idea. There's so much we don't know about this, and there's got to be better ways to investigate. Maybe you'll remember something important. Maybe your research on the internet will turn something up. I think waiting for that is a lot more sensible than playing with fire by doing... That again."

"But, Harper-"

"I said 'no', Lori!" Harper said, her voice strained and shrill. Lori fell silent. She couldn't bring herself to argue anymore. It was plainly hopeless. But when Lori thought about the prospect of standing up, leaving and going back to her own room without her craving fulfilled, she realized she couldn't do it. She needed this. That meant there was only one thing left she could do: tell the truth.

"There's something else," she began tentatively, after giving her roommate a moment to calm down. "Another reason."

Harper eventually sighed, her curiosity getting the better of her. "What?"

"I've been having dreams," Lori confessed. "Every day for the last weak, I've dreamt about it. About being a drone. About the suit. About... you."

Harper's eyebrows shot up. She looked almost panicked. "What? What dreams? Tell me!"

Lori was taken aback by Harper's sudden interest. Maybe there was hope after all. "That's... um..." She blushed. Now for the truly hard part. Lori had no idea how she could possibly explain her dreams to Harper without her instantly being disgusted with her. "I... keep dreaming the same thing. In my dream, you use that code to... to activate me. God, they're so vivid. You activate me and then you make me wear the latex suit and... do things for you. Cleaning. Tidying. Doing the dishes. Whatever. Stuff like that. Well, except last night. That was a little, um, different." There was no way Lori was going to tell Harper she'd dreamt about Harper forcibly groping her. No way. She'd already let slip too much.

Harper no longer looked almost panicked. She looked completely horrified. Lori was surprised at the strength of the reaction she could read on her face, but she figured it was pretty weird, after all. She waited for Harper to say something, but all her roommate did was make a few strained sputtering noises.

"I know it's bad." Lori hung her head as she tried to reassure Harper, somehow. "But it was just a dream, I know that. Even if it practically feels like it was real. I think maybe when you activated me that one time, as a test, maybe that kinda... imprinted something. That's the only time I can really clearly remember someone activating me deliberately like that, so it must have left an impression. I'm not sure how exactly that happened or why it's so strong. All I know is, I keep dreaming about you activating me and telling me what to do."

Lori observed her roommate take a series of deep breaths and slowly calm down. Her deer-in-headlights look faded, and she managed to say: "So... that's... um... wow, er... Wait, so why is that a reason I should a-activate you?"

"That's... I... um... I just..." Now it was Lori who found herself stuttering. This was the truly hard part. Eventually, she realized there was no way she was going to be able to say it that made it sound any better than it was. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and forced out: "Because I can't stop thinking about it. Because... Harper, you have no idea how good it feels."

The silence that followed was deafening. Lori could do nothing more than blush and shift uncomfortably on the bed under Harper's unfathomable gaze. "W-what?" Harper managed after a long moment. "How can that possibly feel good?"

"It's like..." It took Lori a few seconds to find the words but once she did, they came tumbling out of her. "It's just amazing. When I'm like that, a drone, it's like I don't have to think. About anything. I couldn't even if I wanted to, and that's OK. No, better than OK. It's so peaceful. So easy. So easy to just obey. Whatever I'm told, all I have to do is obey. I just have to follow my... my programming, and I get to feel good. When I follow commands, I feel so good. So right. So satisfied. Like I'm fulfilling the only purpose in the universe I'll ever have or ever need. Nothing else matters compared to that.

As embarrassed as Lori was by the way she was gushing and by the astonished way Harper was looking at her, she didn't stop. She couldn't. It felt amazing to finally let it all out.

"And the latex is just divine. It's so smooth and soft and beautiful, and when I wear it I feel like I'm beautiful too. When I'm wearing it, I'm not me anymore. And that's good. It's like a holiday from having to be myself. I don't have to do all the hard things and think about all the scary things. Those things are for people and I'm not a person anymore. I'm a drone. The activation code makes me blank inside. The latex makes me blank outside. Both together is just... perfect."

Lori finished, and found Harper staring at her with her mouth slowly opening and closing in pure disbelief. "How?" her roommate spat. "How can you... no, that's not right! That first time, I mean, that first day, you were terrified!"

"Of course I was terrified! I didn't know what was happening to me! But even then, it was like that. I just couldn't admit it at first." Lori sighed. She must sound crazy. "I know it's just that one time, and I know haven't been activated since then, but still. I keep dreaming about it and about y-you, and it's like a tease. Every morning I wake up and I'm sad it's not real. It's all I can think about. I... I think I need this Harper."

Harper's lip was quivering. "You... need it? That doesn't sound good, Lori."

"I just mean, maybe if I had it once for real, I could get my fill of it and move on." Lori licked her lips. Harper was still clearly reluctant, but Lori could sense her resolve starting to crumble. "You know how sometimes you just need to get something out of your system so you can get on with the rest of your life?"

"That's... but why me? Why should I be the one to do it?" Harper whined, her voice uneven. Lori noticed she was shifting her weight from side to side in a strange way. Was her roommate squirming?

"Well, you're the only who even knows, so it makes sense, right? Besides, I trust you." Lori realized that it must be an incredibly unnerving thing to be asked to do, and decided she should try and lighten it up a bit. "I mean, I know it's probably a pretty weird idea to consider. Probably not much fun from your perspective. Although weirdly, you seem to enjoy it a lot in my dreams." Lori blushed again as she remembered how Harper had groped her. "That's just a dream, of course. I know you'd never do something that was... I know you wouldn't take advantage of me. But even so, I'm sure you can figure out a way to enjoy yourself. A totally enslaved, totally obedient girl following your every command is kind of a fantasy, right?"

Lori could have sworn she heard Harper whimper.

"W-w-what should I do?" Harper asked. Lori's mood surged. She'd won! It was really going to happen! Her heart rate quickened. "Just use the word and then wake you up?"

"No." Lori shook her head excitedly. "I need you to do a bit more than that. I need... I think I need you to give me some stuff to do. Some orders. Some programming." Lori shivered at the memory of how good obedience had made her feel in her dreams. It hadn't been sexual pleasure so much as a sense of perfect rightness and purposefulness that was incredibly soothing and comforting. "That's what I need. Something to obey."

"T-then what should I get you to do?"

Lori thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. She knew that any order Harper might come up with would feel the same once she was a drone. Obedience was the only thing that mattered. "I don't know. I don't think I'll care, to be honest. Get me to clean the apartment, do your laundry, do my yoga... anything. You can get me to do anything."

Harper's eyes went as wide as dinner plates. "Anything?"

Lori nodded. The unfamiliar hunger she sense in Harper's tone was slightly unnerving, but she couldn't pull back now. Harper might lose her nerve. "Anything."

The same pained, tortured expression of inner conflict that Lori had seen on Harper's face before reappeared, and Lori went tense. She was so sure she'd managed to persuade her. After what felt like an eternity, Harper slumped. She was shivering, and when spoke she sounded just as defeated as she looked. What she said, though, filled Lori with indescribable excitement. "OK. I'll do it."

"Oh my god, thank you!" Lori exclaimed. What followed was a long, awkward pause. Lori found herself holding her breath with anticipation.

"Wait, you mean... right now?" Harper asked, picking up on Lori's expectant stare.

"Yes!" Lori nodded enthusiastically. There was no way she could contain her excitement now, although she was still trying to keep her desperate squirming under wraps. "No time like the present, right?"

"I-I guess." Harper looked away. "So, um, do you wanna put the suit on first?"

Lori thought about it for a moment. "I don't think so," she answered. "I like putting it on when I'm a drone. Besides, this might sound kinda weird given what I'm asking, but it actually still creeps me out a little bit." The absurdity of that made them both giggle, slightly breaking the strange, tense atmosphere that had developed between them. But once their giggles subsided, they both tensed again. They knew there was no sense delaying it any longer.

"Ready?" Harper asked, her voice shaking.

Lori just nodded. Her heart was in her throat.

"Beta-7005."

It was only a whisper, but it was enough. The activation code slammed into Lori's head like a thunderbolt. She could feel the impact in a mind like a shockwave, tearing apart her thoughts as it spread through every part of her, ripping through her identity with hurricane force. But in its wakes, she could feel herself being rebuilt. Her thoughts were reconfigured into new patterns, ones that were sleek and cold and machine-like. They left no place for personality or emotion or free will or anything except simple, pure obedience. Lori tensed for a moment when it hit her, but then she let all resistance go. She didn't want to resist. She wanted this. She needed this. She craved this, and it felt so much better when she simply let it happen. She went slack and limp for just an instant, but then she straightened her back, stiffer and more upright than before. She stopped squirming and shivering. She felt nothing. The whole process took barely a second. By the end, she wasn't Lori anymore. She wasn't a 'she', wasn't a person. She was an 'it', and it was 7005.

"Are you...?" Harper ventured.

"7005 is an obedient, brainwashed drone ready for service," 7005 intoned. It felt so good, so right, to speak the words that were written so deep into its programming.

"OK. OK. Holy shit." Harper was breathing so hard she was practically hyperventilating. She couldn't have contrasted more with the perfectly calm, perfectly serene 7005. No-one who saw the two of them would have guessed that Harper was the one who was in complete control. Harper stood up off the bed and started across pacing the room. "OK. 7005, go and make yourself ready for service."

"Command accepted." 7005 understand perfectly. Currently, it was imperfect. Incomplete. Normal clothes didn't suit it. It wasn't a normal person. It was a drone. It needed its dronesuit.

7005 marched out of Harper's room over to its room - or rather, to Lori's room. With simple, purposeful movements it looked under its bed and retrieved the small box containing the latex bodysuit it had been given. It placed the box on the bad and started unpacking the bodysuit. It didn't feel anything, but it treated the latex with something close to reverence. The latex was important. It needed to take care of it. It needed to keep it clean and safe and hidden. That was a core part of its programming.

The drone quickly removed the clothes it was wearing and sat down on the bed. It started to slip its feet into the legs of the drone suit, pulling it up tight until it could feel the cool smoothness of the latex settling over it until it was like a second skin. 7005 stood and slid its arms into the upper part of the latex, feeling it close around its torso as it reached behind itself and carefully zipped it up at the back. It was a perfect fit. 7005 knew somehow that it had been made for it. The bodysuit was slightly constraining, but in a way that felt perfectly right and comforting. It was a reminder that it was wearing its dronesuit, just as it should be. That it was a good, obedient drone, ready for service. That thought filled its mind with a kind of pleasant hum, almost like a cats purr. It was soothing and gratifying. 7005 was a good drone. But the feeling faded after a moment. It needed more commands to obey.

The last step was the helmet. 7005 placed it over its head, tightening it carefully so it could not come loose. With that, every trace of its identity and individuality was erased. 7005 looked down at itself, its vision now slightly darkened by the helmet's reflective mask. It was perfect. Its whole body was smooth and shiny and sleek, with the same alien beauty that was both totally unknowable and strangely familiar. Above all, 7005 knew that it was supposed to be this way. This was the way it should always be. This was the way everyone should be. This was perfection.

7005 was ready for service. Deep within the wires and circuits it could visualise within its body and mind, there was a certain impulse. A driving, overriding, core piece of programming that could not be denied or delayed: the need to serve. Serving would truly make it perfect. 7005 existed to serve. It existed to please. Right now, it would serve Harper, because Harper had activated it. But it knew there was someone else too, a figure that existed as a shadow with in its programming, someone to whom it owed true, overriding obedience. It's true administrator. 7005 had to remain conscious of the fact that no matter what commands it was given by anyone else, they could not access its core programming. They had administrator-level access. No-one else.