Summer on the PCT

"Was nice," came the whisper in my ear.

"Umm-hmm," I responded. A few seconds later I went on, "Julie, I know people throw the word around too often, too early, but I want you to know that I, uh, may be falling..."

"Uh-uh. Stop! Ry, please stop. Yes, this was phenomenal, but we need to keep it in perspective."

"What do ya mean?"

"Let's make sure we don't read too much into a fantastic screw. We've been drifting together for some little while and... Well, what I mean is, uh this was great and all, but we shouldn't make too much out of it. OK?"

I was stunned and hurt. Here I had been baring my soul to her and she clearly didn't want to hear it or, at least, didn't feel the same way about me. I kept quiet for a few minutes and softly said, "OK, let me say this. What we just had was the absolute best sex I have ever experienced and I feel closer to you right now than I ever have to anyone."

"OK, I'll accept that. Yeah," she chuckled softly, "This was definitely in the top ten..."

I tickled her ribs a tiny bit. "Only the top ten?"

"OK, top five, top five..."

I tickled some more.

"OK, OK, the top two. Happy?"

"No," I said as I reached down and playfully and lightly swatted her butt.

"Ouch," she laughed, "Oh, alright, I'll say it was in the top one."

"That's better," I said.

"Yeah, the top one...hundred," she giggled.

I lightly swatted her butt a couple more times as she laughed until she said, "Scratch the 'hundred.' It truly was the best for me, too."

We sat there for several more minutes with me gently rubbing her back. I thought about the conversation. She had said it had been good sex and clearly, we were bonding. But something was keeping her from wanting to talk of love. In my mind I decided to avoid the 'L word,' but I wanted to make sure she understood she meant a ton to me. I kissed her a few more times and asked, "Wanna camp here? We'll lose half a day but we can make it up later."

"Oh, Ry, I want to stay here forever. Yeah, let's spend the night."

For the rest of the afternoon we lounged around and as the air cooled in late afternoon, we slipped our newly washed clothes back on. There were some ominous clouds to the west so we pitched the tent for the night. In the tent with the bags zipped together we held each other but did not have sex again. Somehow, in my mind, I wanted that one episode outside with her to be the image burned in my memory and to try another round didn't seem to be right. Julie certainly never initiated anything beyond some lovely kisses and hugs.

It rained during the night and in the morning, we looked out to see a fine layer of sleet on the ground, almost like a mini-winter wonderland. We had hot beverages with our breakfast, packed up and made our way carefully back up to the trail. Once we were there, we both stopped and looked back down at the pond. We held hands and she squeezed mine lightly before turning silently down the trail, but not before I saw a tear trickle down her cheek.

Over the next few days until we reached the next resupply spot, a tiny store about a mile off the trail, we didn't talk a whole lot. Sure, we discussed the trail, the view, where to camp and things like that. But we didn't talk about us. It almost seemed like we avoided discussing things that might complicate our relationship. I wondered if she was worried about my relationship with Vickie, and quite frankly, I was wondering about it also. When I got back, what would be waiting for me? Would Vickie want to move things further? I realized I probably didn't even want to. Would it result in an ugly breakup? Was my relationship with Julie strong enough to endure? She lived a thousand miles from me. Could we try to make things work? A million thoughts ran through my mind as we hiked. Julie appeared to be deep in thought as well. I wanted to share my dreams and questions with her, but I sensed we were not to talk about them.

In the evenings and in the sleeping bags we explored each other over and over. I learned about what turned her on and exploited it again and again. I have to say she did the same to me. We nearly ran out of condoms until we came to the next store. They had a nice garbage can so we were able to dispose of our litter consisting of food bags wrapped around spent condoms. We picked up our packages and I tried, without success, to talk with my brother to get a message out to Vickie. Honestly, I think I was glad because I didn't know what message I would send to her. After restocking and getting more condoms, Julie and I headed back out onto the trail.

By that time, we were in the northern California portion of the hike. We reached the halfway point and celebrated with a slug of rum from her tiny bottle. We both were doing well; our health was good and our feet and legs were strong.

One day Julie was hiking several hundred yards in front of me. We usually kept fairly close but sometimes one of us would pull ahead or lag behind and we'd find ourselves seemingly hiking alone. Just as she rounded a corner, she screamed a blood-curdling shriek. I ran forward to where I could see her and beyond her, not more than forty or fifty feet, was a black bear standing on her rear legs, sniffing the air. I could see two cubs scampering around behind her.

This was a serious situation and everything I had ever read came rushing back to me in an instant. I was still a bit behind Julie but I didn't want to appear to threaten the bear, so I stayed where I was and spoke in a low voice.

"Julie, just slowly back up. Keep looking at her. No, don't turn around! Don't run! I'm right here behind you, just keep inching back."

The bear dropped to all fours and looked at us. She started to stomp her front paws on the ground and made a sweeping motion with them. I remembered this was a defensive tactic and not an aggressive behavior. I kept talking quietly to Julie until she was in my arms. Once she was behind me, we both backed up slowly, still facing the bear. Once we were over a hundred yards from her, we turned and walked back down the trail. As our adrenaline levels dropped, the conscious awareness of how close we had come to disaster came rushing in. Julie started to sob as she held onto me and I have to admit I suddenly broke out into a cold sweat.

After waiting nearly an hour we decided to try our luck on the trail again. I led the way and started talking loudly and singing little songs. In this way the bear would hear us and move her cubs to safety. I knew they didn't want to have anything to do with people and would only attack when feeling threatened. We never saw bears again but we made a promise to ourselves to try and walk closer together and talk more, particularly when in the woods.

That night in the tent Julie was wildly passionate. She didn't want to snuggle, she wanted raw, lusty sex which I was more than willing to provide. She pulled me on top and pulled my pelvis towards her, driving my cock into her. I pounded in and out as she moaned and cried out, begging for more, begging for it to be harder, faster and deeper. Our climaxes were deep, powerful and all-consuming. Once we were finished, I lay on top of her and asked, "You OK? Too rough?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was fine. Somehow it reinforced that we're still alive.

"Ry," she went on, "I've never been so close to thinking I was going to die! If I gotta go, I gotta go, but not now! Not that I've found you. I want to spend more time with you and it would be god-awful rotten karma to die right after I found you."

That was the first time she even hinted at her feelings about me after our day by the pond. I was elated but decided to play it cool.

"Nah, it's not your time. Just like it wasn't mine on the snow field."

"But I don't want to lose this."

"I don't think you will. We'll be more careful and make sure..."

"No, Sweetheart, I don't think you understand. I don't want to lose us, OK?"

"I don't either," I answered as I pulled her close to me again. We stayed like that for some little bit when I drifted off. I came to with her stirring and nudging me until I slid off and over next to her. "Sorry," I whispered.

"No, it felt good, but I wouldn't be able to sleep all night with you on me. Besides, you need to get the condom." Eventually we snuggled next to each other and fell into a deep sleep.

Finally, we made it to Oregon. Although we had already passed the halfway point, there was a psychological boost knowing we were in a new state. At the first opportunity I contacted my parents to offer my dad the opportunity to join us for a bit. He declined saying he'd tweaked his knee and didn't want to slow me down. Julie and I were in peak condition by then and were able to make good time on the relatively flat trails. We knew we needed to hurry as it was getting later in the year. In June and July, the days are the longest and the weather is generally good. By August one can easily sense the shortening days and by September the weather can start to sour, particularly in the North Cascades of Washington. We hustled while we could to try and take advantage of the remaining decent weather and the longer days.

We seemed to draw closer to each other as the days went on. The sex was great and the companionship was comfortable and close. Any discussions of our relationship or our future were shot down by Julie. She kept insisting our goal was to finish and we could continue to enjoy our physical relationship in the meantime, but she absolutely would not talk about "us."

By the time we hit the Columbia River at Washington we realized that with a bit of extra speed we should be able to finish by early October. This is usually well before any serious cold weather and snow hit. We relaxed by the river for one night and I talked to my brother by phone. I asked him to pass on a message to Vickie, whom I had not heard from at all for the entire summer.

Once we were over the river, we had to spend the next couple of days climbing up and up, only to lose altitude again. The North Cascades are beautiful but quite different from the Sierras. There is far more elevation change but we were in perfect shape and we were able to move along rather steadily. Seeing the snow peaked volcanos like Mt. Rainier up close was a fabulous treat. Three times in the last month we had to stop and ride out some nasty wet weather, but fortunately it didn't snow. Each time we would pass the time in the tiny tent making love, talking, singing, playing cards and, (did I mention it already?) making love. As we drew closer and closer to Canada, the trail became more rugged and more remote but we plodded on. The night before we were to hit the Canadian border, we were practically giddy with happiness. We knew we'd get up to the border and have to turn back as hikers were no longer allowed to cross over and hike down to the nearest Canadian road. As a result, we left our gear and traveled with just the clothes on our backs and food in our pockets. It felt so free not carrying the packs and we made phenomenal time.

At the border we stopped, hugged and had our lunch. Julie pulled out the rum so we had a couple of swallows to celebrate, but not too much. We didn't want to get drunk and have an injury. Finally, we turned around and went back to camp. That night we were in great spirits, feeling so proud for having finished the entire PCT, but at the same time I, and I think she, realized this was the end of a lifetime dream. In a few days we would be back to our ordinary lives; working, fighting traffic and paying bills.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked me when I had been quiet for a few minutes.

"It's kind of sad, actually. Yeah, it was a big accomplishment, but now it's over."

"Umm-hmm. You're right, you know. But there is one thing I'd like to do to celebrate."

"What's that?" I asked as she reached over to me, held my head in her hands and gently brought her face to mine. Our lips slowly met and teased each other. Her tongue gently probed as her hands rubbed my back.

She broke the kiss and whispered, "Can't you figure it out?"

"Mmm-hmm, I think I can," I answered as I pulled her to me. We sat there in the tiny tent, holding each other for a bit until she reached between us. Her hand drifted down and started to tease my half-erect cock. I responded by gently teasing her nipples under her top until she sighed quietly. As it was fairly cool in the tent, I knew we'd need to get into our bags soon. I pulled apart and made sure our bags were zipped together before turning to her. "Care to join me?"

"Oh, yeah," she laughed as she sat upright and peeled her top off. I was still struck by her beautiful breasts which stood proud on her chest. She looked at me with a little gleam in her eye as she rolled back and pulled her tights down. In the faint light I saw the most wonderful sight: a beautiful woman looking at me with desire in her eyes.

As I undid my shirt, she grabbed my zipper and pulled it down before pulling out my cock. "I'm seriously into you, you know," she whispered.

"Thank you."

"Not you, Dummy, though I do like you. I was talking to this guy here," she said as she leaned down and gave my cock a wonderful lick from the base to the knob. After a few more licks she rolled over onto her back and slipped her legs apart. "Make love to me, please. Nice, slow loving is what I need right now."

After I slipped on the condom, I rose up over her and she guided my cock to nirvana. I began to slowly slide in and out as if I had all the time in the world. Each time I bottomed out she would give a tiny sigh of contentment and grasp my butt tightly. We kept this slow melting of our bodies going for what seemed like forever. My gentle thrusts and her tiny clasping when I retreated were repeated over and over.

"Oh, so nice," she whispered in my ear.

I slowed down a bit and whispered back, "Very, very nice," before I resumed the slow thrusting. Gradually her clasping my butt became a bit firmer and she pulled me towards her a bit more briskly until I began to increase the tempo and depth of my thrusting. She tipped her pelvis down to increase the pressure on her clit and began to breathe deeper and faster.

Pretty soon we had established a far faster tempo with deeper thrusts when she murmured "Oh, yes, a bit more. Harder, please."

I obeyed her request until finally we were pushing, writhing, grabbing, holding and grunting our desire for each other. I felt her twitching a bit under me and looked at her face to see eyes closed and head arched back. Her fingers on my butt were digging into my flesh as she held be tighter and tighter.

Then it happened: With great gulps of air, she cried out, "Oh, my God, Ry, oh my God, yes, yeesss, so gooood!" Her orgasm triggered mine until I plunged in deeper and deeper as she cried out even more. And it was at that moment I felt it again: that sense of becoming one. Two people were fused together, like it was at our first time out by the pond in California.

Eventually, all good things must come to an end and I collapsed on her, our heavy breaths mingling together. For a fraction of a second I almost lost track of where I was and what was going on. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and she asked, "You OK?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"You looked kinda weird there for a second."

"Yeah, it was as if I almost was losing consciousness."

"But you're OK now, right?"

"Yeah, feel fine, great, in fact."

"Good. Can't have you passing out on me now, can we?" she paused begore going on. "Must have been a big one to make you almost pass out."

"Yeah, majorly big. Uh, am I squishing you?"

"No, you are the perfect blanket," she responded as we lay there.

"And you're the perfect mattress."

After a sweet period of tender kisses and soft words I slid off of her, retrieved the condom and we snuggled up together. I know it took me a long time to fall asleep as my mind was racing from one thing to another. I sensed she was also awake so I gently squeezed her hand and she returned the squeeze before pulling my hand to her chest. Somehow that little extra touch was all I needed to let my mind drift into sleep.

It took nearly a day to backtrack to an old dirt road that led down to a tourist village on the east side of the range. We were fortunate enough to hitch a ride in the back of a pickup truck down to the village. There we inquired about the bus service to take us to Wenatchee and were told the bus came only three times a week and had left earlier that day. We camped in a tiny RV park where we were able to sleep under a covered picnic gazebo. We must have showered four times in two days.

On the last night before the bus came, we wandered down to the village and ate at a nice little restaurant. The food was amazingly good and we shared two bottles of wine getting rather tipsy as a result. We walked buzzed back to the RV park and our gazebo. We lit a fire and sat there holding hands watching the flames. I knew I had so many things to say but Julie had always avoided those important conversations. I was startled to hear her clear her throat and start to talk.

"Ry, you know that tomorrow we'll go our separate ways. I, uh, I need to let you know something. Weeks ago, you wanted to tell me that you loved me and I wouldn't let you. Well, Honey, I'm gonna tell you this. I love you. I have loved you for practically the entire time we've been together. But I've been afraid to say it. I don't want to be a problem for you when you get back home. You need to go home and need to make a decision about you, about her and about me."

"Julie, I..."

"No, please. Don't talk. Let me finish. Uh, I want you to know I will respect your decision, no matter what it is. As I mentioned weeks ago, if I never see you again, this trip and our relationship will be the best memory a girl could ask for. So, you go home. I'll go home. And if at some point you want to contact me, great. And if I never hear from you again, I'll be sad but I'll survive. But please, one final request."

"What's that?"

"I don't want you to contact me unless you have good news. OK?"

"OK. Sure," I replied, then I went on, "Can I say something?"

"Umm-hmm."

"Julie, I love you and ..."

"Uh-uh. No more. Don't tell me anything else. I know you love me. But you need to sort things out. No ifs, no maybes, no perhapses. I want you, but I need to know that I've got all of you. Deal?"

"Deal. I promise."

We sealed our little talk with a kiss and a long, lingering hug.

-----

The next morning the bus picked us up and, after a slow drive during which we held hands and hardly spoke, it dropped us off at the bus station in Wenatchee. Her bus to Spokane came by only a few minutes later so I grabbed her and held her until the bus driver called out to get aboard. We parted with our hands lingering until just our fingertips touched. Then she was gone.

An hour later I was on a bus heading west back over the mountains. I smiled when we crossed the trail where Julie and I had been some twelve days earlier. Once I got into town, I grabbed a taxi to a motel near our self-storage unit. I walked over and let myself in, collected a few clothes, my computer, cell phone and charger and hooked up my car's battery before heading back to the motel. I was exhausted so I ate two cheese burgers at McDonalds before crashing.

The next morning, I slept until eleven am, let them know I'd be staying for at least one more night and had a nice brunch. Back in the room I showered, trimmed my beard down to a stylish length and flipped open my phone. I stared at Vickie's number for a couple of minutes before tapping it.

"Hello? Ryan, is that you?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm back."

"Great! Did you do the whole trail?"

"Yup, finished three days ago, got into town last night."