Sun and Sea Final

Sun and Sea: Letting Go or Not!

Narrator: Rohit

As soon as the kids left, I turned to Anu and hugged him. "Why baby! Why are you killing yourself like this?"

"When Kitoo left in the morning, my first thought was to move away to Hyderabad with him. And then those months came back to me and I realised I can't run away from you. I physically can't, my legs didn't move. I will die without you RK. I can't imagine a life without you." He hugged me tighter as if I would run away if he let go.

"I haven't told you this but when you entered the restaurant the first day I saw you, I knew! You were the most handsome person I have ever seen in those impossibly tight white T shirt and blue tracks. I didn't know you were straight or gay at that time but I knew it was you I wanted and it scared me. You keep telling me that I affected you just by tuning my guitar but I was doing it all wrong, buying time to think of something witty or funny or interesting to tell you when we talk for the first time, to make you like me. I walked up to you and stood a bit closer under the light so that I could show off my eyes to you, my best feature." I bent and kissed his forehead, feeling a bit more in love with him after knowing I had affected him too.

"When my mother told me to stay away from you, I wanted to die. I was thinking, can't I even talk to someone I like, even if he doesn't like me back? Can't we be friends? But I think she knew we wouldn't be friends, in her hatred for me, she saw we would fall in love with each other. She knew I had found my partner and hence she was always pissed at you too. That day you took me home and gave me your clothes, I never returned them. On bad days, I would sleep in them imagining you were there with me. I brought that lip balm that night in the cabin, wanting things to happen between us. I was ready to do anything to make you like me, anything."

I made him sit on the couch and kneeled in front of him holding both his hands, "I liked you without anything. I was so mad at myself that I made you feel like you had to offer me yourself in return. You have always been enough for me, just being around you is enough, Anu."

"I know baby! I have always known, from the first time we met. That night I came to our house again with Kitoo before taking the train to Delhi. I wanted to come and beg you to take us both in, but I didn't because I knew you would, without a word. It's a small town and you were too famous, it would have never worked. Every day, every second when we were apart I thought of you. I took your name as mine and Kitoo as your son. I am done running away from you, Babe. I can't, I will die!" I laid my head on his lap and hugged him around his waist.

"I can never forget that first night when you brought us here. It was empty with just one small bed and you had laid a sleeping Kitoo on it. You came out of his bedroom and I was sitting there", He pointed at the corner wall connecting the living room to the kitchen. "I was sitting on the floor and in the five years that we knew each other, I didn't know what to say to you when you just sat next to me, our sides touching. After so many talkathons, fights, laughter, tears and love, I didn't know what to say. I knew I didn't want to say 'sorry'. I wasn't able to look you in your eyes. I had messed up the situation in my head in the morning in the cabin after our first time but that day I wanted you to hit me, hurt me but love me."

"But I was just happy you guys were okay and Kitoo is our kid, he is a little you. I have two of you to love. I was not angry with you, I was and still am a bit scared of you. You made me believe I am low on your priority list. But... you are mine and I was and am never letting this go." I hugged him and he warped his hands around my neck and kissed the top of my head. " I still remember when I kissed you that night", I smiled at the memory. " After almost 18 months, I kissed the love of my life and he tastes like children's medicine ... I still remember it was strawberry flavoured." He kissed me again on my neck and chuckled.

"Kitoo was not having the medicine and was fussing and turning his head around, so I just landed up having it myself", we shared a soft laugh.

"I want Kitoo to choose now. I can't do this to us, I am being selfish for us. He gets us as a package deal from now on. I will be heartbroken if Kitoo chooses them over us but you will be there with me and my world is always a better place with you in it, so I will take my chances. Whenever you look at me, I am 17 again and when you look someplace else, I feel lost." I smiled and he kissed my forehead.

"Babe, I have never looked anywhere else!" I pulled him to my lap and kissed him.

"You shouldn't love me so much, you know, it makes me cocky." I said, smelling his hair and kissing him repeatedly on his head.

"What if he likes them better because they are a normal family and not like us... we are weird even for a same sex partner... an idiot and a meathead?" He stood up and started pacing.

"Hey!! Don't call my hubby cubby an idiot, that's my thing and I thought you love my meat head." I stopped him and hugged him back to me. "You know what babe, Ravi will not look so normal after I am through with him. I will Hulk out on them and scare them away."

"You stay with me okay, let Kitoo drive this and you hold on to me."

"I Promise, I don't have a choice when it comes to me and you, I will do anything for you, and we are his home, he is not going anywhere." I said, "And Happy Birthday baby!"

"Why are my birthdays so fucked up?" His words muffled my hug.

"Because you are an idiot." I kissed the top of his head as he hugged me tighter.

Sun and Sea: Choosing my Family

Narrator: Kitoo

I dropped Myra outside her apartment building gate and just kept looking ahead, not able to talk.

"You never let go of what you have for what you may get Kitoo. Dad, when broken and scared, found Pa, a happy and loving man. They are like Yin and Yan. Can you imagine leaving someone like Pa after living such a happy life at his home, all the while being ignored and forgotten by his parents? But he did that for you, no second thought. I know your mother would have been devastated and your father didn't have a choice but these things didn't stop them. Pa was devastated, been left behind and Dad never thought of another choice. They lived like friends never able to love each other in their own home for years for you. Did you notice they wear the same gold band on their left ring finger? It's the first thing I observed when I met them but I didn't want to say anything. Don't break their hearts, you wouldn't be able to live with it anywhere in the world, even the UK."

I nodded, she leaned and kissed my cheek.

"I have a very happy family and my parents have been married for 22 years but I swear I will feel cheated if you don't love me the way your dads did and do love each other".

"I will stalk you forever." I promised.

It was a difficult night to wait, Dad kept quiet but he was used to staying awake at night. He worked on his laptop and attended calls, never smiling not even at Pa, which he always does even if Pa passes in front of him a hundred times, they always smile at each other, again I am stupid to have missed these clues like their partnership bands.

Pa kept muttering about his plans as he brought coffee for Dad and announced that he will hurt Ravi so badly he will have to lie on the aircraft floor to fly back. Some hours later we were watching cricket highlights when he suddenly announced that he will pick them up at the airport and then take them someplace else and drop them in an unknown place. Dad looked at him and he just sat down, muttering to himself. Somewhere in the middle of the night he got up and asked both of us to come for roadside midnight snacks and tea, which we both knew he never does as he is a health freak. A clear plan to get us out of the house so that we get missed. Dad just hugged him and I joined in, he went quiet after that and kept looking at me frequently.

When we heard the doorbell, all of us just looked at it for a couple of seconds before Pa went and opened it. He glared at them before letting them in, no words were exchanged.

The man Ravi, was shorter than Pa but taller than Dad, my height and very handsome with a shock of greying hair styled immaculately even after such a long flight, must have flown business. My biological mother was a smaller lady version of Dad and equally beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off her. They stepped in and Pa shut the door behind them and stood there his arms crossed.

"Bhumi!" My Dad said and hugged her, both crying.

Ravi kept looking at me frozen in his spot.

"Ravi!" Pa nodded and glared at him and stood in front of me, silently daring him to take me away.

"Rohit Bro!" Bhumi called out and walked to Pa and hugged him. Pa deflated visibly and held on to her, clearly powerless in front of the Randhawa twins.

Dad came and took Pa's hand, led him away and made him sit on the couch.

"Ravi!" He looked at Dad as he called him and hugged him and started crying, Pa still glaring at him from his position but not moving.

"Hi! I am Bhumi." She told me between sobs, "I am your mother".

I just stood there rooted to my spot trying to feel what people feel when they write, sing and make movies about mothers but I didn't. She looked like my Dad but he was more beautiful with my eyes. I looked more like him than anyone in the world and I have my Pa's physique and height. The way I felt when I met my Dad at the door or when I saw Pa almost cry in the coffee shop was much stronger and deeper than this. She may have given birth to me but she is not my parent, my Bua may be but not my mother.

Dad was my mother and father, he took me when I was born and left his life and love behind him. I turned and looked at Pa, sitting where Dad had asked him to, looking at each of us and then meeting my eyes. He smiled at me, communicating that he is with me and Dad whatever we decide.

That's my father, my Pa, who searched for us for months and came to take care of us the day he knew where to find us. The man who gave me everything I asked for and made me his heir. These are the people who took care of me when I was sick, waited in lines for my admission and got me concert tickets. Who arranged my birthday parties and taught me to ride and drive.

Who is a parent? The one who gives us life or the one who sacrifices their life for us. I think I will go with Option B! Ma'am, Thank you!

"Buajee, those are my parents." I pointed at the two men sitting on the couch next to each other.

"Aaha! You hear that ... you two, this is my kid. You want to meet him and give him your blessings and some pounds, then do that. You want to get to know him better, take him shopping or lunch but under my supervision. You want him... you fight me first." Pa got to his feet.

"We are not here to take him away, Rohit." Ravi said. "I don't deserve him, Hell! I don't deserve Bhumi either but we wanted to see him."

"You gave him life, not just a better life, you burned your lives and gave it to him which I and Ravi didn't.. And look at him like I had said, he is one handsome boy because he is Anu and you." Bhumi said, "But I wanted to see him and wanted you all to meet his ... eh ... cousin."

"Where? What?" Dad quickly stood up.

"She is in the car waiting down, we didn't know how this would go... so wanted to come in first." Bhumi said.

"Ya, frankly I was readying myself since yesterday to be beaten by Rohit, I am damned scared." Ravi looked at Pa and smiled.

"You fuckers! Leaving a little girl in the car alone with some stranger." Pa went straight for the door. "Eh Ravi! Come with me, now will you let a stranger pick your kid from another stranger? What kind of duffer parents are you desi English people." Pa was back to being himself, diffusing the tension in the room.

"I will come if you promise not to hit me." Ravi smiled and hugged him tightly. "I am sorry Rohit, we are sorry we almost separated you guys."

"Oh ... you get your King to send his army to separate me from my idiot, I am a Platinum certified stalker, will tell you the story later. Come, come let's get her, what's her name?"

"Idhika." Bhumi replied.

"Uhhh! Pa, I will go and get her if that's okay." I offered to sort themselves out, I had made my decision and had nothing to add in the conversation. I touched Ravi Uncle and Bau's feet and left.

She was sleeping when I went to fetch her. The uniformed driver standing guard outside the car door.

He looked at me and bowed his head slightly, confusing me before I realised that I look like Bua and her daughter, he recognised me as a relative.

He opened the door and she woke up with a start.

"Hey I am Khsitij, your ehh brother." I said slowly and tried very hard to not sound creepy.

"I know, Papa and Mummy wouldn't stop talking about you and your Dads. They have been building you guys up for so long, I feel like I know you all nine years of my life." She was like my little twin sister and had inherited my great -- grandma's green eyes like Dad and me. She had that posh English accent which comes from birth and education not the fake ones people put up.

"Ya! You can call me Kitoo, what do I call you?" I felt like my English education was put to test.

"I have a difficult name, Idhika!"(EE DHEE KHA) she pronounced her own name with a heavy accent, "But you can call me Ika and I have been asked to call you Bhai and I like it. We look so much like each other it's uncanny." She got down and started walking with me.

"You should see my Dad and your Mom, they look so similar, it's weird even though they are twins but still it's super weird."

"Your other Dad is very handsome, I saw the pictures Maamaa (Maternal uncle) sent us and he is super buff and all. I showed it to my friends and they were like "your uncles are super cute."

They never wanted to take me away, they knew I would never go and they knew they didn't have any right to break Dad and Pa's heart and I am very sure a bit scared of Pa. They just wanted to reconnect, be a family again and let Ika meet me and my fathers.

"Why don't you think I am cute and buff?" I showed off my biceps.

"Yes you are Bhai but in a teen kind of way and my friend Viola has a crush on you and has asked me to tell you that."

"But I have a girlfriend and I am sure you and Myra will get along brilliantly."

"Yes I have heard, you Kakars are heartbreakers." she giggled while holding my hand.

We reached our place and they were all laughing with my Pa the loudest.

When we walked in Dad was sitting on the floor with Pa on the chair resting his arm on Pa's knee like always, facing his sister who was sitting on the couch with Ravi Uncle, both holding their hands.

We walked in and they one by one came and surrounded us, my fathers were there first, kneeling in front of her.

"This is my Pa, Rohit and my Dad, Arnesh."

"Gosh! They are such difficult names like mine, what do they mean?" She laughed, hugging each of them.

"Sun and Sea" I answered pointing at each of them smiling.