Sunday's Best

*Trigger warnings: mentions of homelessness, mental and physical health issues.*

It all started with an email on Monday from a friend that she made while homeless. An invitation to the church that houses the safe parking program for single women and women with families. A year and a half of living in her car while she took the time to step back and focus her physical and mental well-being.

Heh, and she had thought of parking in the woods somewhere.

"Thinking about the upcoming safe park service this Sunday. Are you thinking of coming? I am now housed. Would love to get together sometime." The first email states. She stares at it for a second before the reply pops out of her fingertips.

"Uh...sure? What time is it, and do I have to be up before the crack of dawn?"

It evolves from there. Plans for food, and to hang out. She makes a mental note to do some laundry, and pull out her Sunday's best.

She thinks of what Sunday's best means to her. It was never dresses. Dresses were for running around in fields in, or splashing in a creek, laughing merrily at some game. No, to her, Sunday's best was pressed slacks, starched collar shirts, vests, ties. Fedoras.

Tuesday comes and she has no energy. Can't pull herself out of the funk she's in because she fucked up. Just watches the morning stream that she's started waking up early for. Her head full of thoughts that won't go away.

She doesn't get anything accomplished Tuesday.

Wednesday is the same.

And Thursday.

Friday finds her in the mood to write. And write she does. Going straight into Saturday.

Sunday comes and she's up at 6am, thinking that it was going to take forever to get to the Church. Gets ready by putting on a bra, sports because normal bras make her hurt. A black dress shirt with starched collar and end sleeves. Panties. Black work pants with a brown, braided leather belt. Black dress socks. A purple satin tie with a paisley pattern on it. She has to close her eyes in order to see how she's supposed to tie it. Only has to redo it once. A black and purple satin vest with the same paisley pattern making up the front panels.

She finishes the outfit with combat style boots.

Wishes she had a real pair, but it is what it is.

Pulls on a jacket and grabs the necessary items for while she's out and about. Key, wallet, cell phone. Hat. Must never forgot a hat. Noise canceling headphones.

She feeds the cat, make coffee for herself. Tosses a water bottle into a backpack. Soon she's out the door, making sure to lock it behind her.

Acute paranoia at its finest. It's what has kept her alive thus far, so it's a minor annoyance.

She's off, her pace quick and determined. Grumbles about how early it is. Wishes...

She shakes the thought away and pauses before going out into the rain.

Pfft...rain...more like spitting from the sky.

Turns on Spotify and switches to a different song on the playlist it's set to. Walks out into the rain, her body syncing with the music. Because music is just as much a part of her as was all her other issues.

She gets to the bus stop and waits, music going from one song to the next. Lindsey Stirling to Stellar to Linkin Park. Songs that speak of who she is, has been though, or just music that makes her want to dance.

She looks at her phone, then the street the bus is supposed to come from. She see the bus she normally catches. Talks to the driver when he stops, though he doesn't know if the bus she wants is running or not. She thanks him and watches him go along on his route.

Sits back down and checks the bus app on her phone again, then thinks.

She's up to early, but if she goes back to the apartment, she knows that today will be shot. Wishes she had something minty. Checks to see if the Walgreens behind her is open. Not till eight am. Safeway?

Yup.

She's off again, the music now on something with a beat that can be marched to. Breathes in the cold, wet air. How can it be May and be this miserable out?

She doesn't care though. She needs a friend right now, and what better friend than someone who she was homeless with and knows that she can talk to without getting judged. Someone she can give an ear too, because that's what she does. She listens...and learns.

Into Safeway she strides, her octopus mask on, because there's still a pandemic going on. Stops at a register to find the first item. Altoids, wintergreen. There's a tin left, so she grabs it. Strides to the self-checkout where the drinks are located. There, at the very end, Vitamin Water. XXX. Turns around to find the self-checkout closed.

Of course she has to deal with a human being...because it's a Sunday. She walks to the only open cash register, nods to the cashier. Holds up a finger because she hasn't turned off her music. Pulls off the headphones.

"Sorry about that, was listening to music." She watches as the cashier just nods and makes a muttered 's'okay'. She asks the cashier; "How are you this morning?" Another muttered 'okay'.

Young, too young to be beaten down so early in life. Something, find something.

In this short exchange, she has pulled out her card, paid for the items, and put both card and wallet away. Looks up and notices the cashier's beanie.

Ah, there we go...

"I like your hat," She says, her cheeks raising, eyes narrowing just a bit to show happiness she doesn't really feel herself. Watches as the cashier light up. "Stitch is awesome."

"Thank you." The cashier's voice is audible this time, and follows it with: "Have a great day!"

"I will try!" She calls out, tossing the bottle of water into her backpack. "I'm off to church to see a friend, wearing my Sunday's best!" Walks off knowing that the cashier's day will be just a little bit brighter, hoping that her words will be remembered. That being kind is just as easy as saying something nice about an article of clothing.

Uses her keys to peel off the plastic that covers the Altoids tin, looks around outside for a trash can. She doesn't see one, so pockets the trash with a sigh. Pulls out two mint and pops them into her mouth before storing the tin into the smaller front pocket of her backpack.

She puts her headphones back on, turns her music back on before stepping out into the rain again. Remembers a second to late to pull up the hood of her jacket.

Tch...should get a second pair for strictly at home.

The thought comes and goes, quick as a whip.

But she'll remember regardless.

Before she knows it, she's back at the bus stop, having ignored the others that were closer to Safeway. She's made herself deaf to the sounds of the outside world, so she can fell its heartbeat.

Changes the song that starts because it's not one she can listen to. Not right now.

Maybe not ever again.

The next song she debates, because it makes her think of him. Decides 'fuck it' and lets it play. Because Alan Wake 2 has finally been announced, and she'll have a decent gaming desktop before it comes out.

Children of the Elder God by Old Gods of Asgard. The made-up band that's the brainchild of the head of Poets of the Fall and the head of Remedy games came up with because they wanted a kick ass soundtrack for the game. Her head bobs and weaves, mouthing the lyrics, too scared to sing them out loud for just anyone to hear.

Finally, the bus comes after an hour of waiting. Her fingers are cold, because her pockets are full, and doesn't want to put anything in her pants pockets. Can't ruin the way the pants flow after all.

Bus is free, which makes her both surprised and happy. Something tickles her brain, worms its way in but in a way that leads to a momentary 'huh? eh, think about it later' moment.

Goes all the way to the back and takes the corner seat, because the bus is a little on the full side, and she's trying to keep her distance. Hasn't gotten Covid, hoping to keep it that way. Knows the risk every time she leaves her apartment. Misses having a car for a moment. Props her foot on the windowsill and leans against the window itself, the rumble of the bus running through her body.

The music plays on as the bus starts and stops, picking up passengers here, dropping them off there. She rides it all the way to a park and ride where she'll catch the connecting bus to her destination. Still a little bit a travel though. And a bit of a wait.

Her fingers haven't warmed up from the last time she was sitting in the cold.

It is what it is...

This time she sits in the front, because she needs to see where the bus is going. This bus isn't much warmer than the last, but at least she's out of the wet and cold.

Pops another Altoid to help settle her stomach. Checks her phone for an email that will never come. Shakes her head and wonders what she's done to deserve such a broken life.

It is what it is...

She notices that her thoughts are turning dark, and that the music is reflecting those dark thoughts. Goes through her playlist for something more uplifting. Chuckles as a silly song comes on. Watches as the light before her stop comes up, pulls the cord.

She thanks the bus driver, as always, because they do a very thankless job, and deserve to know that at least one person appreciates them. Notes the distance from the curb and hops over to the sidewalk.

Again, the music is driving, helping her ignore the pain in body for just a little bit. Not much farther now. The music helps make the walk shorter.

In no time she's walking up to the church, so she slows, pulls her headphones off, and puts on the mask she took off the moment she got off the bus. So hard to breath with it on, but better safe than sorry.

Thanks the gods that she got the vaccine while still at the church. Because she knew what was happened before that orange haired twat waffle would even admit it.

She pays attention to history after all. Because sometimes things circle back around.

Walks up to the door and greets people. Recognizes one of the hosts. Then it's a small mad rush greeting people, saying hello and bumping elbows. Literally, and pun intended.

She finds out that the head of the safe parking program has caught covid, and makes a note to text them later, then talks to one of the ladies she made friends with while she was here. Tell her about the events from the start of the year.

Well, some of them. She switches to the person who invited her. Talks for a little bit, then sits for service. While she knows that there is a God, she also knows that her Goddess has been around longer. But that's what she loves about this church.

They didn't care she was Pagan.

She sits through the singing and answers a question from the kid's time. The topic is on plants, and how the kids group planted sunflowers. She can only remember what she says though.

"Because what's the worst that could happen?"

So many cliffs jumped because of that one phrase. Figuratively, of course. She's crazy, not stupid.

The service continues on, and eventually wraps up. She gathers her stuff, puts on her jacket and makes her way to the friend who invited her. Stopped to pick a plant for herself, since they were being offered. A sunflower, because she's had so little light in her life.

Finds her two friends talking food and plans. Comes up to join then and hear what's going on. She's ready to go, just waiting on them.

Finally, the friend that invited her waves for her to follow and they move off to the car waiting them.

"If we still and wait for her to figure things out, it'll be 3pm by the time she's done." The friend says.

She laughs. "Yup."

"I'm hungry and I want to go eat and I want a cigarette...Is it okay if I have one if the windows are down?" The friend asks, knowing she doesn't smoke, and hasn't for some time.

She nods, knowing the stress of being on stage. Is reminded of that one time in high school...

She tosses things into the backseat of her friend's car, with the exception of her headphones. Remember the last time she threw something, she forgot she had an electronic in it. She still misses that clear purple Gameboy color.

They chat about random things on the way to food, while the friend smokes. First about the service, and how nerve wracking was to do everything because the person who normally does it was out.

Then about stopping for drinks. She already has the vitamin water, so she declines the offer of something to drink. Her friend is buying her food after all. Her friend buys something slightly alcoholic.

They reach the restaurant, decided where they'll eat. Her friend's place, because it's way too noisy outside. Something she doesn't voice aloud. The smell of good gyro meat fills her mask, makes her mouth water. Looks over the menu multiple times to take in what's on it.

There: 21. plain old gyro.

Looks some more.

Ooooooo! Tiramisu!

She leans over to her friend and asks if she can get a slice, then orders (No tomato) when she gets the go ahead. Steps back to let her friend order. Notices the price but makes no comment. Just makes a note to take the friend some place near her in return.

Because she repays those who help her, no matter how big or small.

Even if it meant getting betrayed sometimes...

Watches as the owner pull out of box of Tiramisu. Feels slightly annoyed, but this is a treat, and besides, she knows where to get better.

The two talk about random things, until a gentleman comes in for his order. They greet him and get to talking to him. She can't remember much of the conversation, but she makes mention of the fact that she smokes marijuana for pain issues. That there had been a discovery of two active compounds in it that actively block Covid.

The man ends the conversation to get his food, but thanks them as he's leaving and says he'll look into the marijuana thing.

She hopes he does, has a feeling he might.

After all, what's the worst that could happen.

They get their food, and the owner snags her friend as they walk out the door. Says something in Arabic. A little bit of confusion, but it turns out that the owner is trying the teach her friend the language. Laughs to herself because she sees the look on his face. Totally besotted.

Too bad her friend is a lesbian.

She makes a comment about how that's a great way to learn something, just by learning it one word at a time. The friend comments on how she forgets the moment she's out the door.

"Don't I know about that!" She tells her friend, laughter in her voice. Genuine laughter too. This is someone she knows she can hang with, and it be just that. No expectation, no commit. Just two people who've been through some bad shit. In no time they are at the friend's apartment, then up the stairs and inside.

She takes note of the carpet and ask, "Shoes off?" Gets the 'if you want' response and takes them off. Sits on the floor despite knowing she'll have a hard time getting back up when it's time to leave. Gets handed her cake first, which she sets aside.

She'll take it home. If it makes it that long.

Silverware, a paper towel are placed next to the cake.

Then she's handed her gyro. She pulls it out, the smell making her stomach gurgle, hungry for food for the first time in days. Doesn't tell her friend that this is the first decent meal she's had in a bit, because executive disfunction is a bitch that makes living alone hard.

She pulls back the paper, picks up the lettuce that falls and pops it into her mouth. Moans appreciatively at the peppery flavor on it. Notes that there's black pepper on the lettuce...fresh cracked?

Pulls out a bite of meat and tosses it into her mouth. Tries to savor the flavor, but she's to hungry. Takes a bite out of the gyro and lets out another happy food noise. Glad she grabbed a menu from the place. Only gets two bites in before putting it down to catch her friend up with what happened since the beginning of the year.

The autism evaluation...

The breaks going out on her car while driving. (No one was hurt, she assures.)

Her ex best friend proving to be an ableist and a cunt, attacking her in her own apartment by comparing her to another friend with a different mental health issue.

The actual diagnosis, and did anyone think to ask if she was okay? Nope! Just say "Oh it must be a relief to get this diagnosis!" Like, no bitch, I now know why my life sucks so much.

The devolvement of the situation from there.

When she's done, she picks her gyro back up and bites into it, her sign that she's done talking. Ready to listen.

She hears about what happened after she got an apartment last year. How the three evil witches turned on the friend and basically drove her to a different safe parking area. Know that it happened because she wasn't there.

Gets laughed at for the thought and told not to worry about it. The friend is housed, and those cruel people aren't. One because she wants perfection but won't ever get it. Another because she can't function outside of her car and needs to be pretty much babied. The third...

She laughs, knowing that sometimes, you just had to trust Karma to have your back.

By the time her friend is finished, she has managed to keep her vest and tie clean but got just a little bit of food on her pants. 'Lucky..." she thinks to herself, grabbing the dropped food from the floor and popping it piece by piece into her mouth. Waste not, want not, after all. She knows all about missed meals...

Cleans up her pants and the floor with the paper towel that was given her.

Her friend goes outside to have a smoke, and she sits in the quiet, listening to the rain that she can't hear when she's in her apartment.

How little she can hear now thanks to her neighbor being a pain in the ass. Her neighbor, the very reason why she has noise canceling headphones in the first place.

When her friend comes back, she starts in on the tiramisu. She just can't resist her favorite treat. And besides, it'll get tossed around in her backpack.

At least, that's the little lie she tells herself before she chuckles and admits that it's tiramisu, and who can resist such a yummy treat, even if it was still partly frozen and came from a box.

Tries to save half, but it's gone before she can say tiddlywinks. Ah well, she'd just have to get some more another time.

Closes the box the tiramisu came in and then flips it. Flips it again, which causes her friend to laugh.

"Just couldn't help yourself, could you." They laugh, actual emotion behind both voices.

She shifts and goes to stand, but her body protests and she has to stop moving. Her friend gets up and grabs the stuff from her hands, saying to take it slow.

'Strange to think that I'm the younger of the two of us.' She thinks.

All too soon it's time to leave, and her friend pops on the hat that she them have back when she was still at the church. They laugh as the memory. How she let her friend snatch the hat from her hands in front of the lead host, and had to assure the host that this was all in jest, and we weren't actually hostile to each other.

Reminds her friend why she gave up the hat in the first place, since she got the purple hunting camo hat earlier the year. That she wasn't ever giving it up.

They chat a little more, laugh and hug. Say their goodbyes.

Tells her friend that she'll get them to stop smoking eventually as she walks off.

She walks toward where she needs to catch the bus back toward home.

It's still cold, wet, and miserable, but there's a warmth in her heart, and knows it will be there for a while. The music suits her mood. Because she won't stop.

When she gets home, she greets her cat, who has been sleeping on the bed all day. Turns on a light so that she can see what she's doing.

She pulls off her backpack and jacket. Sets them on the bed. Unbuttons her vest and lays it out nicely on the bed. Pulls the tie from around her neck, flattens it out so that it will look nice the next time she wears it. Puts the tie on a hanger, followed by the vest, then stores both in the closest.