Surefoot 09: Rising Star

"Like you have nothing left to say?" Hrelle suggested gently. "Like you spend more time talking about your life than actually living it? Like you're not allowed to keep any secrets to yourself, even ones that don't mean anything?"

Jonas looked up at him with heartfelt recognition. "Yes. Yes, Sir!"

Hrelle reached up and patted the young man on the shoulder. "I've been there. And believe me, in my day I've called Kami worse than what you did." He leaned in closer. "Especially when she puts on that smug expression when she sees you're hiding something, and won't let it go, like a dog with a bone." As Jonas smiled at that, he promised, "I'll have a word with her, to give you a breather. Who knows, she might even listen to me."

Jonas swallowed with relief. "Thank you, Sir. And thank you for earlier."

"Oh? What did I do?"

"On the planet, when I asked you to trust me, Sir. You had no reason to, but you did."

Hrelle smiled. "Well, thank you for saying I'm like a father figure to you. Did you mean it?"

Jonas smiled back. "Yes, Sir. I, ah, never really knew my own; he left us when I was six, I can barely remember him. I, ah, hope you didn't mind me saying it."

"Are you kidding? Seven Hells, no!" Hrelle chuckled. "Before Sasha's mother was killed, we were gonna have more children, but... well, the Universe Had Other Plans. And with Sasha all grown up and not needing her old man anymore, the notion of still being like a father to someone is quite pleasing." He paused as he became aware of his tail wagging happily behind him. "As you can tell; I have to get used to controlling the damn thing again, I feel like a cub."

The door chimed before they could discuss it further, and the door slid open unbidden to reveal Kami, striding in. "Jonas, we need to-" She stopped as she saw Hrelle. "What are *you* doing here?"

"And hello to you, Sweetheart."

She indicated the door. "Get out, Jonas and I need to talk-"

"It can wait until tomorrow, I'm sure."

"Yes," Jonas agreed, suddenly growing tense again. "Please, Counselor, I just need some sleep-"

"Don't 'please, Counselor' me, young man." She stepped forward. "What's this I hear about you losing your temper in Sickbay?"

"Counselor-"

"Is that how you treat your friends?"

"Kami," Hrelle started.

Jonas' face reddened. "I don't want to talk about this now!"

"I'll decide that."

"NO!" Jonas snapped, rising to his feet, hands balled into fists and temper suddenly flaring as he stared her down. "I'LL decide that, not you! You're not my mother! I'm fed up with this! With all of you! I'm ready to resign and get off this fucking ship!"

Hrelle rose held up a conciliatory hand. "It's okay, Jonas, we're leaving."

"Jonas-" Kami started, her anger now eclipsed with shock at the boy's outburst. "I'm sorry- wait- please-"

Hrelle growled at her in response, taking her by the elbow and guiding her out the door.

Jonas collapsed onto the bed, feeling himself begin to hyperventilate, as he focused on controlling himself - ironically using the techniques taught him by the same person who just put him in this state.

*

Kami pulled out of his touch as soon as they were in the corridor, not even looking to see if Hrelle was following her, saying nothing until they returned to their quarters, and she faced him, fury in her expression. "What do you think you're doing, interfering in my work-"

"It wasn't the time. You were pushing him away."

Her hackles were rising, and she was baring her teeth now. "Who do you think you are, telling me that?"

He remained calm, knowing it was the only way to get through to her. "I'm your husband, and your former patient. And your Commanding Officer."

"Are you trying to pull rank on me now, you prick?"

He nodded. "Yes, if I have to. But I shouldn't. You're experienced enough to know the dangers of forcing someone to accept help before they're ready for it. You should also be able to recognise when you're too emotionally involved."

"I'm not!"

"No? Where were you when Jonas was the victim of a psychic assault, and he ended up trying to kill himself?"

She reacted as if he'd struck her, her claws extending and her teeth bared. "You bastard."

"Don't be an ass: you know I don't think that. But a part of you does." He pointed to their door. "That wasn't a Counselor in there, objective and in control of the situation. That was a mother, a worried mother, wanting to scold her cub."

She looked ready to argue the point - but that evaporated quickly. She sat on the edge of their bed, pressing her thumbs into her temples, her honey-brown mane obscuring her face. "You're... right." She made sharp, staccato bursts of breath as she fought to maintain control. "And I know it wasn't really my fault. Doesn't stop me from blaming myself."

"So I noticed." He knelt before her, reaching down and removing her boots, casting them aside before massaging her feet.

She wiped her face. "I've been speaking with his mother."

"You have? What's she like?"

She smirked. "Formidable. And she didn't want Jonas to know she contacted me, so you'd better not say anything about it to him-"

"Great Mother Forfend. And what did you two talk about?"

"Everything: what happened to him, how he was feeling now, what he was doing, how he was coping. Then there were the unasked questions: where was I when he was attempting suicide? Why didn't I stop it before it got that bad for him?" She was wiping her face with her fingers. "There she was, all but accusing me of neglecting her cub, allowing him to get into such a state...

The thing was, as much as I could have argued back, explaining to her that it wasn't as simple as all that... I couldn't. I would have felt the same as she did if it had been my cub under someone else's care. Only I wouldn't have been as polite as she was, believe me."

"I believe you." He worked the muscles in her toes and soles. "You *did* maintain Counselor-Patient Confidentiality, didn't you?"

"Of course," she assured him, before adding, "Mostly."

"Kami!"

"Nothing *really* confidential, Esek, only things I saw in public: what he did with his friends, who he was trying to date-" She looked at him again. "Rrori said Jonas had sex with that Russian girl. Is it true?"

He stopped and looked back up at his wife. "Nothing was explicitly said. But... I could smell their scents on each other, and I saw them rather close together on the planet surface. She was on top of him. Dressed, of course."

She beamed now. "Tell me more about her! She sounds intelligent, strong, capable. What does she smell like?"

He worked the muscles in the balls of her feet. "Is this you not being his mother?"

"Come on, what did you two talk about- Ohhh!" She gasped with pleasure as his fingers worked the tension out of her feet.

"Give your mouth a rest. And give yourself some professional distance again, or you'll smother him. He's had some very intensive Counseling and supervision, with you and the rest of us gaining an intimate level of knowledge about him and his feelings. He's tired, he's vulnerable, and he needs breathing space; take it from someone who knows."

"Oh? Is that how you feel about *me*?"

He stopped massaging the foot in his hands, rose to his feet, looked at her for a moment, and then reached down and flipped her over onto her belly, before climbing onto the bed to join her. "No, this is how I feel about you..."

*

Jonas snapped awake at the sound of the unfamiliar beeping, and for a moment couldn't remember where he was; it was pitch black, and this bed was too large to be his own. Then it came back to him, saw the flashing red light from the guest quarters' desk monitor, and nearly tangled himself in his sheets to rise and plop down into the desk chair. "Answer."

A view of Sigma Lambda II from orbit, which he guessed was a view from the bridge screens, filled the monitor screen, as a familiar, formal voice responded, "Mr Ostrow, there's a call from Colonel Bunina."

He blinked; it took a heartbeat or two for him to recognise the woman. "Sasha? Listen, I'm sorry about last night-"

"Do you want me to connect you to Colonel Bunina, Mr Ostrow?"

He swallowed, hearing the hostility now. For a second, he didn't blame her, after the way he acted the night before. But then that guilt evaporated like water in a plasma cooker. Didn't they grasp why he would have felt that way? And their own part in making him feel that way?

Sharper now, his anger at their lack of understanding returning, he replied, "Yes. Put her through."

"Connecting you to Colonel Bunina now, Mr Ostrow."

The image of the planet was instantly replaced with the smiling face of Nika, who suddenly looked startled. "Boshe Moi, that's scary."

Jonas frowned. "Nika? What's wrong?"

"You! Sitting there in the dark with a face like a ghoul!"

"Oh. Computer: Lights." He squinted for a moment as the room lit up. "Sorry, just woke up."

She smiled. "So I see."

He glanced down, realising he was sitting there naked. He was certain the camera on the monitor couldn't let her see everything, but- "Sorry, I'll put something on-"

"No, don't bother." She grinned now. "It's not anything I haven't seen already, now is it?"

He grinned back. "Guess not. Wait, I need to check the duty roster." He called up a smaller, secondary screen on the monitor and checked his work schedule. There, as Captain Hrelle promised, he was down for Engineering Assistance planetside, in an hour! "Yes! I'll be there in 60 minutes. Less if I skip breakfast." After a moment he added, "I'll skip breakfast. See you soon."

As the screen returned to the duty roster and his outstanding work, he remembered his report, which he managed to complete and have ready for submission last night.

He reopened it, re-read it. It was... self-damning. Practically a career suicide note. He had carefully examined his actions, compared them with Starfleet regulations concerning Away Team missions, hostile encounters, communications protocols... even sexual relations with other personnel.

And it was all technically true. It would surely get him kicked out of Starfleet - if he sent it, as is.

Did he want to?

*

He had every intention of heading straight to the transporter room. But along the way, his stomach had other ideas, and he stopped off at the mess hall for a quick couple of slices of toast, if nothing else.

"Morning."

He turned to see Kami standing in the line behind him. "Counselor!" He glanced around at the people around him, feeling embarrassed at his outburst the night before. "I, ah, was going to see you-"

She nodded to the replicator in front of him. "You're up. Order me a melon dish and orange juice, and I'll get us a table and seats."

"Oh. Of course." He had hoped to grab the toast and be on his way, but he felt like he'd been rude enough to her, despite the provocation.

He found her at a small table away from everyone else in the corner of the mess hall, resting her elbow on the table and her chin on her hand as he approached, smiling at the tray he set down before her. "What's this on it?"

"Oh, uh, that's lime-chili syrup. Adds a tang to it. Thought you might like it."

She tried some, making pleasing sounds. "I see what you mean. Nice choice."

He blushed a little. "It's my, ah, mother's favourite breakfast."

"You mean your other mother?" She smiled self-deprecatingly. "I'm sorry about last night, Jonas. Even Counselors can let their emotions get the better of them. Hope you'll forgive me."

He relaxed. "Only if you do the same for me. It was a long day."

"It's been a long couple of months for you." She leaned in over the table and whispered, "You're scheduled to have a post-mission Counseling session."

He tensed again. "Yes. Yes, of course."

She looked up at him again and smiled. "We've just had it. And effective immediately I've signed you off of any additional sessions, beyond the usual ones every cadet has."

"You have? Why?"

She shrugged. "I'm probably just bored with you." Then she winked. "But... if there is anything you want to talk about... well, I'm here." She left it at that and tucked into her breakfast.

So did he, quickly munching down his toast. Despite all of his earlier protests about not wanting to talk about himself anymore, now... now he wanted to. He wanted to tell her about his dissatisfaction, about his thoughts of leaving Starfleet and moving on.

Instead he ate in silence. As did she.

When he was done, he rose. "Thank you, Counselor. I'd- I'd better get going."

"Wait." She offered him her orange juice. "Rinse your mouth out."

He frowned, looking at it. "Why?"

"There's crumbs in your teeth. No girl wants to kiss a man and taste his breakfast."

"Oh. Thanks." He quickly picked it up and swished a mouthful around in his mouth, swallowing before asking her, "You really think she'll want to kiss me?"

*

As it turned out, she did. And more.

It was still before dawn local time when he beamed into their encampment, but the crew had lights set up around their ship, and old-fashioned tents so they could spend their first evening on their new world outdoors.

Nika had been waiting for him, and the way she almost immediately kissed him on his arrival told him how she felt, as did the way she took his hand and guided him to her own tent, stopping only to undress outside.

Later, they lay in the dark, listening to their own breathing and the soft rustle of the tent fabric to the early morning breeze. Once he'd caught his breath again, Jonas confessed quietly, "Nika, there's something I should have told you before."

"Oh? What?"

"I'm safe. I mean, I have birth control implants. And I'm, uh, clean."

"Such a scoundrel, waiting until after he ravishes a poor defenceless woman to say that." Then she half-leaned over him, her breast resting on his chest. "Jonas... I will condemn myself for all time if I do not ask this now: will you stay?"

He blinked. "What?"

"I know, we only met yesterday, it is insane. But life has been insane. You are brilliant, better with our machinery than any of us, and what's more, you can improvise, work with what you have. You have knowledge and experience of the rest of the Galaxy, that would allow you to mediate between them and us. You are young, fit, handsome, unmarried, you kept your word about staying with us until we landed, so my people trust you. You could have a life here. A good one. With us. With me."

He stared up at her, bowled over by the offer. Give up Starfleet, the life he had been planning for, for as long as he could remember? For someone he only met yesterday? She was right, it was insane! He should have been dismissing it immediately.

He should have been.

Nika's fingers moved up to stroke his temples. "Imagine this: being one of the founders of an actual world! Helping to shape it, guide it! Here, you will not be a child. You will be respected. You will be loved. You will be a man. My man - if you like."

"Nika-"

"Shhh. Don't answer now. Your ship does not leave for several days yet, I am told." She bent down and kissed him softly. "I am not so naive that I think I am in love with you - yet. Nor you with me. But that would change, I know. It would be hard work, at first. But it will be worthwhile. You think about it."

Then she reached down, touched him, awakened him. He felt her smile. "In the meantime, I will continue to tempt you with what I have to offer you here. I hope you don't mind."

He didn't.

Later, he received a reminder that his report was due. He used a PADD to access his account onboard the ship and submit his report, not changing a thing.

*

"USS Surefoot, Captain's Log, Stardate 35499.67: We remain in orbit around Sigma Lambda II, with medical and engineering teams assisting the crew of the Rising Star in reviving the rest of their people - with the exception of Maxim Golov, as his disposition is currently being assessed by an old friend in the Federation Judiciary Council. Given Golov's terrible crimes, I expect I know what the answer will be..."

"No."

Hrelle did not expect that.

He had been sitting with T'Varik, Kami and Nika in the briefing room before looking back at the main screen. "'No', Craig? A mass murderer who fled Earth with a shipful of children won't be charged with any crimes? Are you trying to be funny?"

Federation Legal Attaché Craig Whitham was an affable-looking man, and with his Van Dyke beard and portly figure resembled a Musketeer gone to seed. "Tried it once, Esek. The results weren't pretty."

"Why in the Seven Hells wouldn't we try him?"

"Well, for one thing, these alleged acts took place fifty years before the Federation even existed, before the bodies of law that govern us today were agreed upon."

"What? Murder is murder, the definition can't be that different between then and now!"

"It isn't. But the legal machinery definitely is. Taking Golov in for trial now would be attempting to apply a system of contemporary law retroactively, a terrifying and unworkable precedent. It'd be like putting Brutus in a court in Rome today and trying him for assassinating Caesar."

"Oh come on, Craig! Are you telling me that all someone has to do to get away with murder is to outlast all their contemporary legal systems and accusers?"

"Essentially, yes. Earth at the time was a much different place than it is today. Therefore, the argument can be made that Golov's alleged crimes were committed outside the jurisdiction of our present government.

And even if we did go ahead, try to imagine how you could possibly have a fair and impartial trial when you have hundreds of years of utterly one-sided reporting of history, little to no primary evidence of precisely who did what, what evidence you do have is either hearsay or else has no chain of custody, and zero possibility of an uncontaminated jury? That's what they used to call a kangaroo court."

"Kangaroo?"

"A Terran marsupial, famous on Earth for its hopping ability."

"And they had courts for them? Why, what did they do?"

"No, the phrase refers to when itinerant judges used to hop from town to town, guided less by concern for justice than by the desire to get paid for completing as many trials as they could. Put the plate of chicken drumsticks down from time to time and pick up a book, Esek, you'll learn something and get rid of that belly quicker."

Hrelle grunted, pulling in his stomach. "What if one of his people pressed charges?"

"They're not Federation citizens, and this area where they've landed may be in Federation territory, but it's not yet recognised as a Federation community. They'll have to handle it themselves, for now."

Hrelle nodded. "Thanks, Craig." As the screen went dark, he leaned back, wincing for the fiftieth time now that he had a tail again to get in the way. "Well, that's it, Colonel. I wish I could have given you a better answer."

The young girl stared at the polished black tabletop. "Captain... what happens now? I was hoping that your Federation might have taken him off of our hands once he was revived."

Hrelle looked to T'Varik, prompting the Vulcan to reply, "Unless and until you petition for Federation membership, you are an autonomous body, governed by whatever rules you agree upon amongst yourselves. We have also filed an application on your behalf, to ensure the planet will remain under your control."

She frowned in disbelief. "You will allow us to have a whole planet? Even though it is in your territory? We will not be forced to join your Federation?"

"No, Colonel. Once you are firmly established on Sigma Lambda II, you may even petition the Federation to withdraw from the system and cut off any trade or communication."

"We hope you don't, however," Hrelle added.

"I hope so, too, Captain," the girl admitted. "We will soon be finished reviving everyone. We will tell them what you have told us about Golov. We will show them the evidence you have provided. Then, when we revive him, we can decide what to do with him. I would have him face a trial. But I know others choose to ignore the evidence presented to them, and would just appoint him our leader." She looked grey. "I fear... I fear that those voices will be the dominant ones in our group. Captain... if this comes to pass... will I be allowed passage on your ship to somewhere else? Anywhere, I won't care."