Surrender to The Crowd

The time came to break the spell and face reality. I turned around and told her, "I'd love to go to a sober concert with you this Saturday!" I figured that she'd be ugly and that my imagination from the touch and voice would shatter, but her face was right in front of mine. Her skin in the face was completely white like paint, not like the pink hue typical of white people. Her hair was raven black. She wore a black choker with a black rose on it that seemed like it was so tight it was constricting her breathing. I felt soft in the knees seeing her beauty - not in the way that I was attracted to her as a woman but the way how you see amazing art and it takes away your breath. Her facial features were small but so well defined. Our faces were so close together. I knew that she yearned to kiss me, reach out for my lips.

We met up in the line for the concert. It was still daylight because it was a long concert with a whole series of bands playing in a stadium. Some of the guys with their devil's shirts were already sitting on the pavement because they were too drunk to be standing. They had been trying to pre-party to avoid paying for expensive beer inside. She took my hand, interlaced her fingers in between mine, and asked, "Is this how Riley was holding your hand?" There was so much subtext in the way she said it. She had those dreamy eyes like she was crushing hard on me. The way she was holding me, she was implying that she wanted to be like Riley and ride the crowd with me. It became evident that she had liked me confession not because of the AA reasons but because she had pictured herself being Riley and being close with me. I knew that her question was really asking if we were going to crowd surf without asking for it directly.

There was something so dear about the way she asked and how her small blue eyes looked at me hiding her pleading. It reminded me of how I would ask my dad for dolls and gifts and melt his heart to give me anything. I felt the same heart-melting and emotional inability to deny her anything. "This is the way we are going to be holding hands," I told her. Happiness burst out of her hands. She caressed my hair. I knew she wanted to kiss me, but she also sensed that I wasn't into the lesbian thing. So she kept herself in check.

"Is this way you dressed like that?" she asked me opaquely. I was wearing a short black skirt that barely covered my butt. My top was a white tube that exposed my nipples. There was a lot of risk in my dress. My panties would show almost immediately. My breasts were unprotected by a bra. The tube top had a loose elastic that would make sliding around really easily. Being asked so point blank, I was daring for things to happen. I hadn't been so bold to admit, pretending that I simply wanted to look cute for the concert. Yet, I had also been going back to Riley's studio and the way in which she had planned my outfit.

Once we were inside, we walked around the grounds. There were a lot of grassy patches, a little merchant village, a side stage, and a first aid tent to explore. People were still streaming in. The main band wouldn't play until sunset. We made it to the mosh pit. Five guys were in the circle. They'd look at each other deranged and then run to slam their bodies into each other. Heads butted the ground on the fall. Blood streamed down a leg. A single woman tried to enter the circle. A guy savagely launched himself like a torpedo into her back. Her back collapsed. She slammed hard to the ground. Someone pulled her by her hand across the dirt to get her out of the danger zone because she seemed unresponsive. A couple of minutes later, she was walking around again, holding a big plastic cup of cold, blond beer against her forehead. That observation set the mood for the crowd to be quite wild.

"I have to admit something," Stella admitted. "I have very dirty fantasies. I get turned on by the idea of the crowd pulling the clothes off your body while you crowd surf. It turns me on a lot to imagine you naked, out of control, and being taken advantage of."

Her heart seemed to pound out of fear of how I'd respond. I thought it over. It took a lot of courage admitting that. She seemed to care a lot about me and worried that she could offend me. There was something sexy to it. I could feel the itch. Being stretched out naked, letting go of my clothes as they travel away. Hungry fingers devouring me.

"How would you feel about that happening to you?" I asked.

"I will let it happen to join you," she said. Her answer didn't answer me exactly. Her answer implied that she was going to make it happen to her to induce me to do it. She wasn't turned on about it happening to her, but she thought it was a way to make it happen to me. I got the feeling that I had a huge fangirl in her. I felt a pact starting to grow between us.

We had some burgers. She talked about her graduate studies in meteorology. She described the nature walks she goes on whenever she feels like downing another Jack Daniels. She painted out how unreasonable, hair-pulling frustrating, and absolutely adorable her mom is. Stella turned more and more into a real person as she filled in the different areas of her life to me. My respect for her as a person grew, and I knew that I'd never want to grow old with her.

During our time together, the pact had grown. We had it down to a science. When the song "Bats that claw out of our hearts" would play, we'd ask a couple of big guys to lift us up above the crowd. It all felt so poetic when we imagined it through our rose-colored lenses. When the drums thundered on the stage above us and the electric guitar whined into the black of the sky, the starkness of reality felt scary. I had never done something like this sober. The crowd pumping against the security fence in front of the stage felt so real and raw. I don't think she would have had the heart to do it on her own.

I asked a guy on the side of the crowd to lift us both up with his friend. He had a quick smile. As soon as I had given him the green light, there was no stopping. The guys couldn't get their hands fast enough on our bodies to lift us up into the air. I squeezed Stella's hand to remind her to hold on like Riley had done to me the first time. I missed Riley at that moment.

The Heavy Metal crowd seemed much more trained in supporting crowd surfers. Lots of hands reached up to touch me. I felt a lot more even. It kind of felt like we were floating towards the center of the crowd. I could feel how every hand underneath me was trying to touch me. Even hands that for sure wouldn't be able to support me were reaching up simply to touch me. I lay on my back spread out like a big X. I imagined Stella equally spread out next to me. It felt peaceful like two lovers lying on their backs in a wildflower field, staring at the clouds.

I remembered Stella's fantasy of our clothes floating away. I tried to help it. When hands were grabbing for my back, I tried to roll so that my top would get pulled to the side. It didn't quite happen at first. But on the third try, the person under me stumbled and my left boob slipped out. I turned my head to face Stella to see if she saw it. She nodded at me like she knew it was time to help her clothes float away. There was something so earnest about how she wanted to please me in the expression on her face.

I arched my back deeply to make it really hard for the people to hold onto me. The hands kept slipping on the back of my body. The struggling hands trying to keep me up kept ruffling my clothes more. Stella squeezed my hand as a signal. I turned my head to face her. Her skirt was rolled up to her belly, and her red panties shining free to the sky.

I switched my hand with Stella so that I could roll on my belly. I expected the gropes on the belly to be more intimate. A hand landed on my chest. An eager hand made sure it landed on my chest. A wild hand pulled my top off my other boob. We got closer to the center where people were wilder. Us being more disheveled invited more guys to take their liberties. Pretty quickly, my skirt was also pulled up to reveal my black thong. I knew that I had set enough in motion to turn around again and switch back to the original hand with Stella.

Pretty quickly, a harassing hand pulled on my thong. I closed my eyes to braise for more hands to take liberties with me. I intently listened with my skin. Another harassing hand pulled my top up to my armpit. The hand was eagerly working to achieve its goal before I floated past. The next harassing hand was squeezing my left butt cheek. I turned to look into Stella's eyes. In the corner of my eyes, I saw her clothes moving around on her body as well. I inhaled deeply and let a sigh out anticipating that my panties would come off soon and expose me.

A really eager hand grabbed the thong and pulled hard without letting go until the thong was all the way down my leg and disappeared. The guys seeing that encouraged other guys. The harassing guys started circling under us like sharks. They pushed the regular people away. The next hand gripped my skirt hard and pulled on the zipper to get it off. I saw the white in the eyes of Stella. She was in panic about her own clothes being ripped off, but her hand held me steady to let me know that this was the fantasy she had been dreaming of all week.

And then the last shred of clothing was off us. We were bare and naked above the people under the sky, all exposed. We floated hand in hand around in a circle. The hands and fingers started groping my butt, breasts, pussy, and ass. I heard fragments of sentences being yelled about how we were bitches, sluts, and wanted it all. Then the hungry guys lowered us down to the ground. They wanted to do sexual things to us. The situation was becoming threatening.

Stella pulled me close to tongue kiss me. I was surprised. I noticed that the guys backed away in respect and awe at lesbianism. I let it happen because it increased our safety. I was curious about one thing. I let my hand roam down to touch her sex. She was soaking wet. She was completely turned on by me being stripped naked in a crowd. I could feel her raw heat, desperately wanting to take me sexually. I had done a good thing for her, but I still wasn't into the lesbian thing.

We pulled away. People, especially women, started hackling us for being naked and lewd. The inside of her thighs was coated with her juices. We ran split naked. Being chased and taunted by the crowd was joyfully enjoyable. We laughed at how badass we were. The medical tent ended up giving us some clothes from the lost and found. I ended up in grey sweatpants with an "I love NY" sweatshirt. We looked so unsexy. Nobody would know that we were commando underneath.

We giggled as we walked off the grounds towards the subway. We retold each other what had happened, the way how some fingers were so surprising. We talked about the tactile sensation of being groped by so many hands. We talked about the thrill and deviance of it all. Then Stella took both of my hands and asked me if I wasn't into women. I had to tell her that I had a strange relationship. I didn't like women sexually but all the while, I was drawn to Lesbians to feel their closeness. I loved looking into her eyes, I confessed. I could do that for ages, but I felt shudders at the idea of doing anything with bodily liquids. She nodded her head, eager to understand me better.

Stella asked if I would like to watch her and Riley have sex. I told her that I'd rather want to leave the room for that. However, I'd love to come back after and cuddle in the middle of both of you to feel the afterglow. She nodded her head to signal that she understood that attraction was complicated and personal. She added that she had never met Riley but from everything she had heard about her, she wished that her photo would also adorn Riley's wall as one of Riley's wives.