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Now Susan was the one who had a look of shock on her face.
"They don't? Wow! In the way they always show the Republican politicians in church praying, I didn't know that?"
The woman had a smug look of arrogance on her face.
"Those photos are just for public consumption and for them to get reelected at election time," said the woman.
Still shocked by all of this, Susan continued staring at the woman flabbergasted.
"Then, what do they believe in if they don't believe in God."
This time the woman rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Money. They believe in money and big business," she said. "Money is their God and big business is their church. Amen," she said.
Susan mindlessly stared down at the magazine.
"Money and big business," said Susan looking down at the magazine while uttering under her breath. "That figures."
The woman stood back from her counter to stand up straight.
"Please repeat after me. I Susan Jill Parker," said the clerk.
It was then the Susan recognized the magazine that was beneath her hand.
"Wait," said Susan. "My hand is on a Mad Magazine. If the Republican Party only believes in money and in big business, shouldn't I at least have my hand on the Wall Street Journal, Barron's, or Forbes Magazine?"
Again the woman rolled her eyes and sighed in the way that Susan had been doing.
"Don't be so naïve. What do you think the Wall Street Journal is but an adult version of Mad Magazine? Besides, with Rupert Murdoch its new owner since 2007, the Wall Street Journal has reached new heights of comedy. And Forbes is just an advertising sight with list of billionaires that publically purport the richest people not only in America but also throughout the world. "
THE END
Please give me the support of your vote.
- COMMENTS
Polly_Dollyabout 1 year agoCalls to mind a tip Amy Sedaris once gave in an interview promoting her book about how to throw a successful party. “Always invite at least two Republicans; if you just invite one, he’ll smoke all your pot.”
Sampkyangalmost 8 years agoTOO FUNNY! mostly a crock of cliché shit. might help to check out facts and not just recite the party line. my grand dad always voted dem he said they were the party of the little gut. I wish he was here....the dems are the party of the little and BY GOD they intend to keep them little. the party is based on keeping people dependent. Also women have it all, they have half the money in the world and ALL the pussy.
foolscapabout 8 years agoAccording to Forbes "Of the 50 richest families, 28 mainly donate to Republicans and only seven contribute mainly to Democrats. Not all families stay on the same side of the political spectrum — 15 support candidates from both parties."
http://www.forbes.com/sites/katiasavchuk/2014/07/09/are-americas-richest-families-republicans-or-democrats/#3d6edb23717e
In the current Forbes top 20 are 4 Waltons family members (R), 3 Mars family members (R), 2 Koch family members (R), plus Sheldon Adelson (R), Larry Ellison (R), Michael Bloomberg (R), Phil Knight (R), just to name a few.
RalphS74650about 8 years agoSusan, I really enjoy your writing style - not like others here or elsewhere! This piece is splendidly written satire! It's too bad, however, that your "facts" just AREN'T!
One example is your statement regarding rich Americans being Republicans. It just sounds great to support your satire but it ain't so! Of the top 20 wealthiest Americans, 16 are Democrats! See:https://politicalvelcraft.org/2011/11/26/forbes-top-20-richest-1-living-in-america-17-of-the-top-20-are-democrats-surprised-they-are-the-big-liars-the-party-of-wall-street-the-party-of-ge-the-party-of-communism-and-the-p/. Also, think of Hollywood - nearly all actors are liberals and they surely aren't poor!
I could go on but won't cuz it's a really funny piece! A give it a 5 for writing style but a 1.5 for accuracy; net rating, IMHO, is a 3.
Keep on writing, though! I enjoy it!
100appreciativeover 8 years agoHank: "Did you see what SJP wrote about Republicans"?
Frank: "No, what"?
Hank: "She said Republicans are jerks"!
Frank: "So, ever'body knows that."
Hank: "Omigod, !, I'm in love."
Frank: "Hank, for you, love is a big hamburger"!
Hank: "I dunno, Frank. This might be the real thing. Not only is she a babe, but she's actually got a brain. What a turn-on"!
Frank: "Man, that is dowright UNFAIR! It's bad enough that these smokin' hot babes outclass guys like us anyway. But, then, to be SMARTER than us to boot!..... Well, damn, it just ain't fair"!
Hank: "Yeah, life can be a meanie."
calichepitover 9 years agoI'm joining your new party first thing in the morning.
It has always bothered me that the non-wealthy continued to be sulky and uppity, acting as though their children were entitled to the same rights as their superiors.
This is America where the 99% should know their place and step aside and bend over. Furthermore, let's quit acting as though you don't like it when we rich folks shove it in deep. What do you want--lubrication?
Sorry. The Supreme Court has said no lube and no crumbs. Wiggle it and moan loudly. After all, you should feel privileged to serve us.
Thank you, Susan Jill Parker. You're an example of a real American.
Dustenover 9 years agoHi Susan
Is this a ture story? I hope it is. Keep up the good stories . Looking for some new one soon . I give this story & all of your stories a 5 Stars I wish I could give more the a 5 Stars.
Wyndell
Chief3Blanketover 9 years agoIt is too bad Susan Jill Parker did not go to J School after she completed her Degree in English and get a Masters Degree in Journalism. She would make a super syndicated news commentator especially on domestic and social events and issues in America. If nothing else Susan it pays better than writing erotica.
