Sweet Talk Ch. 04

She came back into the room, still wearing that dress which was, even now, distracting the hell out of him and told him that she'd made a reservation on the cruise.

Now, the sun was hanging low in the sky, the air warm and a little muggy. And Jay, sipping an expensive glass of red wine, was doing his damnedest to take the edge off his preoccupation with Anna's breasts.

Their dinner plates were empty and Anna had just been chatting away about how pretty the Chicago skyline was as the boat slowly drifted down the river. Jason focused in on her warm, familiar eyes, hoping like hell that would help.

But so far, no luck.

He'd had almost three glasses of wine over the last hour and was starting to feel all warm and languid, which was no good because he was having a harder and harder time keeping his eyes where they should be. Namely, anywhere above her neck.

"My big plans for what?" Anna asked and, in his semi-drunkenness, he stared at her full lips. He'd always thought she had a nice mouth.

Fuck...so much for above the neck being safe territory.

He cleared his throat. "Your plans for college and everything," he murmured. "You never told me exactly what classes you're taking this summer."

Anna laughed. "Oh, you mean the ones you whored yourself for?"

Grimacing, he took a long swallow of his wine. "Ithoughtwe agreed to never talk about that again."

That only made Anna laugh more. She leaned toward him over the table, giving him a damn good view down her dress. Oh, Jesus.

"Do you realize," she teased, " that there are probably pictures of you on some middle-aged woman's MySpace page?"

Blinking, Jason dragged his eyes back to hers and grinned. "Hey, I can't help that I'm such eye-candy," he joked. "But stick to the subject—what classes are you taking?"

"One on non-profit leadership and another on child psychology," she replied.

Jason nodded, not at all surprised. From what he remembered, she'd been really excited about her psychology and sociology classes at Syracuse. Which was also right round the time Charlie and Nate died.

Just thinking about them made his chest tighten up; so did the memory of how devastated Anna had been. But she was so damn strong. Stronger than he gave her credit for, sometimes. And, yeah, a much better person than his selfish ass would ever be. Sure, he made desserts and was successful at it—Anna, though, she was gonna change lives. She damn sure made him a better person.

Butnotsuch a better person that he could stop eyeing her cleavage.

"You're quiet all of a sudden," Anna said.

Catching her questioning gaze, Jason smiled. And even though he was disgusted with himself for thinking it, he couldn't help but want to sit here and bask in her uncomplicated, natural beauty.

Most women he dated wore so much make-up he was half-afraid to touch them sometimes. But Anna was all fresh-looking, with the same perfect, pale skin she'd had for all the years he'd known her.

Jesus, he was staring at her. Maybe he'd had more wine that he'd thought. She'd asked him a question...something about...

"I'm just thinking about how bad I'm about to make you look, college girl." He stood up, holding out his hand. He was so wired right now, he needed to move, get his mind off things it sure as hell shouldn't be thinking about.

Anna grasped his outstretched hand. For some reason, he liked how trustingly she placed her own, much smaller hand in his, letting him pull her to her feet.

"Where're we going?" she asked as he started walking toward the front of the boat.

"To dance." When she laughed, he looked over his shoulder at her. "Why's that funny?"

"I just remember how much you hated all of those school dances when you and Nate were in middle school."

"Hell yeah," he laughed. "That crap was so awkward. All the hormones floating in the air. And I had the hugest crush on Jessica DeLillo, too. But I was so much taller than all the other guys, I felt like the Jolly Green Giant, so I never asked her to dance."

"And now half of the greater Puget Sound viewing audience is in love with you," Anna pointed out as they stopped on the boat's small, wooden dance floor, and he pulled her into his arms. "My, my, how things change."

"Yeah...yeah they do," Jason murmured. It took maybe two seconds for him to realize that dancing with Anna hadn't exactly been the smartest idea right now.

With one of her hands cupped in his and the other on his shoulder, he was spared the sight of her breasts. The only problem was that he'd traded the vision of her, for the feel of her. Namely, the feel of her pressed up against him, all warm and soft and, well, all Anna. So incredibly familiar but...at the same time...an absolute surprise.

Slow jazz music, piped in over the boat's speakers, drifted between them as they swayed and he stared out over her head, taking in the beauty of Chicago's elegant urban sprawl while, simultaneously, trying to ignore the perfect dip of Anna's waist beneath his hand.

"You know," she said, her voice drawing his eyes down to hers. "Dad would be really proud of you, Jay."

Well, damn. That was the last thing he'd expected her to say. He felt his throat tighten up, but managed a gruff, "You think so?"

"Are you kidding?" She leaned back in his arms. "When you got accepted to the CIA, he was so sad to see you go, but at the same time, he couldn't stop talking about you." She chuckled. "For those first few months, anyone and everyone who came into the bakery got an up-to-the-minute update on you."

A small smile played on his lips. "God, that's embarrassing." He looked down at Anna. "I'm glad I didn't know that at the time, though."

"Whatever you attention whore," Anna laughed. "You would've loved hearing Dad go on and on about you. I think he even showed people pictures of a vanilla soufflé you made."

The sound of her laughter and the brightness of her carefree eyes warmed Jason, along with the wine he'd drank, and he found himself saying something he'd never told anyone. "You have no idea how freaked out I was when I started at the CIA."

Anna's brow furrowed. "Seriously? You were always so cocky about the whole thing."

He shrugged. "I tend to do and say a lot of stupid shit when I'm under pressure."

"Really? Inevernoticed," Anna quipped, her tone dry.

Her sarcastic disbelief made him laugh. "I know. It's a crazy thought. But, yeah, my first semester out there, I was so terrified I wasn't good enough. Like..." he stared out over her head. "Like, what if I choked? What if the instructors took one look at me and knew I was just..." he trailed off, but Anna's soft voice urged him on.

"Just what?" she asked.

He looked down at her and honestly felt like her dark eyes pulled the words from him. "What if they realized I was just some poor, white trash, small-town kid in way over his head?"

Abruptly, Anna stopped dancing, her expression serious. "Jason, that isnotwho you are. You know that. You're creative, talented and—"

"I know, I know." He murmured, tugging her back into motion. "At thetime, I didn't, though. There I was, on scholarship, at the best culinary school in the country. The whole thing sort of messed with my head."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Anna asked.

He studied her face. "You know what your dad said to me the day I left for school?" When Anna shook her head, he went on. "It was right after Nate had finally told him that he wanted to go to art school instead of working in the bakery. And, at the airport, when I was leaving, your dad shook my hand and said, 'I'm happy for Nate, but I'm glad one of my sons decided to follow in my footsteps.'"

Letting out a shaky laugh, Jay bowed his head for a second. All these years later, that memory still got to him. Finally, he peered back up at Anna. "I couldn't let him down. So I just pretended like I had everything under control even though, half the time, I was scared shi—out of my mind."

Anna's lips curved into that familiar, gentle smile and damn if, all of a sudden, he didn't start wondering what it'd be like to kiss her. Oh, shit. He was drunker than he'd thought. He had to be...

"Jay," Anna said, "it wouldn't have mattered to him. You could've quit school and come back home and Dad wouldn't have cared, as long as you were happy."

Despite the confusion whirling inside him, he managed a grin. "Charlie would've kicked my ass if I'd quit school and you know it."

Anna's small smile turned into light laughter. "Okay, yeah—but only because he knew how talented you are. And he would've hated seeing you throw all of that away. Besides," her tone turned teasing, "I don't think Sweet Water could've handled your overgrown ego, anyway."

Jason lifted an eyebrow, trying to look offended, but started laughing. "Damn, why's it such a crime that I happen to know how ridiculously good-looking I am?"

Anna rolled her eyes as a new song started playing. This one, too, was slow, full of jazzy-sounding saxophones and bass. "God, you're sickening," she told him. "Want me to leave you alone with yourself? I feel like I'm getting in the way of your quality, self-love time."

Pulling her closer, Jay flashed a crooked grin. "No, you can stay. I'm all about the self-love, but I figure you need some Jay time, too. Especially since Sam's been hogging you lately." He'd meant that last part as a joke, but it came out a little pissed-off sounding. He shot a quick glance at Anna, relieved that she hadn't seemed to notice.

"Oh, quit pouting," she scolded him. "You and I both know you're my favorite person in the world. Not to mention the supplier of my favorite chocolate muffins. That, alone, gives you precedence over Sam any day."

He knew she was just joking around with him, but hearing her say that their friendship was the most important part of her life—it shook him, for some reason. Sure, he felt the same way, there was no question about that—ever—but her loyalty still floored him.

He'd never met a woman like her. No one as honest or forgiving or gentle. He probably never would, he decided. Anna was definitely in a league of her own.

And right now, slightly buzzed off the wine, and irritatingly aroused, her brown eyes were tempting him to do dangerous, idiotic things. Like kiss her. The hell of it was, part of him wanted to give in.

Anna had expected Jay to laugh or toss some smart-mouthed comment her way, but when he didn't say anything, she looked up at him. He was staring down at her with the strangest expression on his face. It seemed like a mix of confusion and something else that she couldn't identify. All she knew for certain was that she couldn't look away.

"What?" she quietly asked.

"I..." he murmured, his voice half-whisper.

Her skin started to tingle slightly. And he just kept staring at her. He looked like he wanted to say something but he couldn't quite form the words. Unconsciously, she licked her bottom lip and his eyes skidded down, settled on her mouth.

His lips parted and he leaned down, tilting his head toward hers.

As if he was going to kiss her.

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. Excitement and terror churned in her belly as his head dipped closer and closer to hers. Then, his face was only inches from her mouth; she could feel his warm breath, smell the fruity scent of the wine he'd been drinking. And, God, even though they were in the middle of a boatful of strangers, all she wanted to do was go up on her tiptoes and press her mouth to his.

But she waited. For him to make the first move that she'd imagined over and over for almost half of her life.

Jason let his lips hover near Anna's for what felt like long minutes, but was probably only a second or two. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. He was a little buzzed, not even drunk, but the battle over whether or not to kiss her was almost overwhelming.

He couldn't. He wanted to...but he wouldn't. Dammit, he'd been forcing himself to ignore the full, bow-shaped sensuality of her mouth since she was a teenager. Swimsuit models were supposed to have mouths like hers, not quiet, dependable Anna. Not one of his best friends. Not the kid he'd grown up with. Who was practically his damn sister.

And that was it; that one word—sister—snapped him out of his crazy daze.

He wanted to back off, fast, but he forced himself to act normal, follow through.

So, he planted a very familiar, brotherly kiss on her cheek. "Ditto," he murmured, inhaling the light, honey-scent of her shampoo. "You're my favorite person, too."

She didn't say anything for a second and, with his face there, next to hers, he glanced down at the smooth skin of her shoulder, bared by the top of that dress.

Shit, shit, shit.

Before he could stop himself, and blaming the wine the whole time, he dipped down and dropped a quick, light kiss just above her collarbone. The skin there felt glossily smooth against his lips and his gut clenched at the contact. His penis, too, stirred to life.

Silently swearing at himself, he eased back a little; putting space between their bodies, praying for the song to end and hoping like hell he'd get himself under control before his trigger-happy dick embarrassed them both.

Anna felt Jason pulling away like a slap in the face. For a minute there, she'd really had the insane idea that he wanted to kiss her. She'd kissed a few guys during college, even had a sort of serious boyfriend near the end of her sophomore year at Syracruse, so kissing wasn't anything new to her.

Especially the idea of kissing Jason.

She'd been dreaming about that particular little fantasy for as long as she could remember. Sometimes, she just wanted to lean in and kiss him, see what he'd do. But...with him staring down at her like he just had been, she'd been excited and terrified all at the same time.

Then, her own little brand of reality kicked in and he'd kissed her cheek. Followed by her shoulder. Okay, so the shoulder thing had thrown her for a bit of a loop, but, still—not exactly the most romantic place in the world. Especially when she'd been staring up at him half-expectantly.

She sighed, staring intently at one of the buttons on his shirt as the song they were dancing to began to wind to an end. After all these years, it seemed like she would have, at some point, finally come to terms with the fact that she and Jason were just friends.

She might want him with every ounce of her being, might dream about him like a teenager, but at the end of the day, he saw her as a kid sister. And it was time she accepted that.

No matter how much it hurt.

*******************

What the hell was wrong with him?

He and Anna had been back in the hotel for over an hour and Jay had changed into a pair of baggy basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He'd hoped like hell Anna would change too but now that it was nearing eight at night it didn't look like she was planning on it for a while.

They were both on the bed, watching TV. He'd sprawled himself out so that his face was at the end of the bed, his chin propped up on a pillow. Anna, meanwhile, had her back resting against the headboard, both legs, bare from the knee down, stretched out next to him.

Taunting him.

His mind was whirling.

He'd almost fuckingkissedher. Hell, he still wanted to, if he were honest.

And now that the wine had definitely worn off, he couldn't even blame the urge on being buzzed. Nope. Apparently, he'd just lost his goddamn mind.

He was trying like hell to shake these feelings but with the combination of Andreas' comments, and her in that dress, he'd been looking at her not like known-her-forever Anna, but like a guy looking at a woman. A very attractive woman, with a great set of—

Jesus.

Dropping his face into the pillow under his chin, he let out a quiet, frustrated groan. Suddenly, he felt like a fucking over-sexed teenager and the hell of it was that he couldn't figure out why. Just a few hours ago, she'd beenAnna. And now...now he couldn't even think straight.

Being attracted to her wassowrong, onsomany different levels, he didn't even know where to begin.

It had to be the stress getting to him. That was the only damn thing that made sense. And, fuck, he needed to figure out how to deal with this before he did something stupid.

Really stupid.

Like kiss her.

Anna had no idea what Jason was watching on TV because she was too busy staring at his profile. What was it about him? What the heck was it that made her, even now, want to swallow her pride, crawl up next to him and kiss him? Maybe it would be awkward and weird, especially if he pulled away, but maybe...maybe that's what all those fairy tales were talking about.

Maybe a simple kiss would magically make him wake up and see her as a woman—one who was pathetically in love with him.

She made a face. Desire, she had, but those frog-kissing fairy tale princesses clearly had something she didn't: courage.

She was a coward. That was exactly why she hadn't moved; why she'd been sitting here, watching him, for almost an hour, trying to figure out what it was that made her love him so damn much.

Chewing her bottom lip, she sighed. God, she was so tired of having this same mental conversation with herself. She loved him. But didn't want to.

Okay, that was a lie.

Shetoldherself she didn't want to love him, but that wasn't entirely true. Or, even partially true. Loving him was exhausting, but it was also as natural as breathing. And just as essential.

Her eyes slid closed in frustration. Crap. She was so screwed.

Just as that depressing thought occurred to her, someone knocked on the door and she quickly pulled herself together. "Think that's Sam?" she asked Jay as she slid off the bed to answer the door.

"Probably," he said, his voice a little muffled against the pillow under his chin.

She opened the door, immediately returning Sam's smile. "Way to disappear for the entire day, Samuel."

He grimaced. "Jeez.Pleasedon't call me that," he said as he stepped into the room. He'd changed out of his shorts and polo into a pair of gray slacks and a crisp, white button-down.

His sense of style was simple and understated, yet precise, like he'd wandered off the pages of a GQ spread. He really was an attractive guy, Anna thought. Sometimes, when she was with both him and Jason, she felt so plain and frumpy it was almost funny.

"You changed clothes," Anna said, eyeing him playfully. "Mind giving Jay some pointers? He totally wore his sneakers with a pair of slacks today."

"Hey, shut up about my Asics," Jay grumbled from the bed, his eyes still glued to the TV screen.

When Anna rolled her eyes, Sam laughed. "Sorry, Anna. He's a lost cause." Then his eyes scanned her from her head to her bare toes. "Well, looks like you put that dress to use sooner than you thought, huh?"

Anna shrugged, then laughed as Sam caught her hand and urged her to spin in a circle in front of him so he could examine the dress. "Just wanted you to get your money's worth, rich boy," she told him. "Plus, I just couldn't take the heat anymore."

On the bed, Jason watched this exchange with a growing sense of irritation. He didn't know why their playfulness irked him, but it did. And, right now, part of him wanted to suggest that Anna to go change...because Sam was looking a little too appreciative of her in that dress.

Speaking of which, he could'veswornshe'd just said Sam paid for it. He couldn't have heard them right, though. Still, he needed to make sure.

"Wait," he said, sitting up. "Sam bought you that dress?"

Both of them turned toward him. Sam looked uncomfortable for a second and Jason felt his eyes narrow a little.