Swinging Isn’t For Me

A lot of the stories in the Loving Wives section have wives not listening to their husbands' opinions on what they plan. I have always asked the question, "What if they did listen?" This story lets the wife explore a bit then realise what she has is better than what is on offer. It has no revenge, as it has no need for it.

I hope the story isn't too flat.

Many thanks to Kenjisato for doing a sterling job editing my ramblings.

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My wife, Alison, and I have been married for eight years. We met in our last year at college where we dated on and off, but there was nothing special in our relationship. We were on and off several times, exclusive when we were on, but when we were off, there was no exclusivity. Our relationship ended with us both returning home and looking for jobs.

I was an accounting major and I started work in the office of a multinational accounting practice in the largest city in our state. As part of my job, I was completing my exams to qualify as a CPA, and the classes I had to attend were held at the local college.

I was walking through the main building when I heard someone shout, "John, John Adams is that you?"

I turned around, squinting a bit into the sunlight coming through the atrium. I could see someone waving, out of a crowd of people, but could not see their face. As the woman approached, I realised it was Alison. She didn't stop running until she was pressed against me with her arms around my neck. Don't ask me what happened, but for the first time in our lives together, sparks flew, and we had a passionate kiss that just didn't want to end.

Eventually, I had to come up for air, and I looked at Alison. "Whoo, let's go get a coffee and catch up."

Alison was a lecturer at the college in Ancient Greek, which was her major. She had moved here about three months ago, and had taken an apartment in town. Surprisingly, it was only a fifteen-minute walk from my apartment. Our relationship in college had been fun but not deep, but Alison had changed in the six months from our graduation; she had matured, and I just wanted to spend time with her. That night, we went for dinner, then drinks and I walked her home. She asked if I wanted to come in for a nightcap, and even though we had had sex many times, I said, "No, this is the start of a new relationship between us, let's go slowly." She blushed and smiled, but said nothing.

The slowly lasted about one minute. I reached in to give her a gentle kiss, when she grabbed me and gave me another passionate kiss and whispered, "Fuck slow, were getting married in six months and we need practice."

She was wrong... by one month-- we were married seven months later. I didn't think I ever properly proposed. She started planning the wedding a week after we met, and I bought an engagement ring at the same time I bought wedding rings. Sometimes, things are just right, and this was one of them.

We bought a house in a new subdivision and moved in after our honeymoon. Life was very good.

About three years into married life, I suggested that Alison go off the pill.

She looked at me saying, "I have never been on the pill!"

A cog turned in my brain and I replied, "But that means we never used birth control; how come you never got pregnant?"

The look on her face suggested she had never thought of that.

I quietly suggested she go and see a doctor just to make sure. After several tests, it was confirmed that Alison was incapable of having children. This was a very bad time in both our lives, but I loved her. When she suggested I look for someone who could give me children, I told her I had married her for 'better or worse' and she needed to get used to the fact I wasn't going anywhere.

We discussed adoption, but we felt it was preordained we were not going to have children, so we settled into a childless life.

The biggest change the childlessness caused was a change in our circle of friends. As each couple started having children we started seeing less and less of them, as other things took over their lives. We found ourselves being friends with older couples whose children had grown up and either looked after themselves, or had left home.

Alison fell into a new group of friends from college. Many of the office staff in her faculty were in their late forties and early fifties, and we found ourselves going out as couples for meals and, sometimes, to house parties with this new group of friends. Although their taste in music was a bit off for Alison and me, we tended to have a lot of fun at these parties.

By the time we were eight years married, we had a whole new circle of friends. At one of the faculty parties we went to, Alison introduced me to Liz, who had just been appointed head of department for ancient languages. Liz was married to Tom. Alison and I stood and talked for a while, and I took an instant liking to Tom. He was friendly, but complained about the music being played. He also was an Oakland A's fan, which made him OK in my book.

On the way home, Alison asked, "What do you think of Liz and Tom? I like her and she has asked if we would like to go out for a meal with them next Friday. Would you be OK to go?"

"Sure," I confirmed, "Tom seems like a nice guy and he doesn't like that old music everyone else plays, set it up. It'll be fun."

The following Friday night, we went out with Liz and Tom and we had a blast. Going for a meal, then a club. The conversation and the drink flowed freely. After the club, Tom suggested we share a taxi back to their house for a nightcap and then we could go home from there, as it was only another twenty minutes away.

Liz was walking into their house in front of Alison, and Alison was in front of me. I noticed a fish bowl on the table, but there were no fish in it.

Liz looked over her shoulder with what could best be described as a 'shit-eating grin' and looked me directly in the eye. With the smirk still on her face, she asked, "Has the penny just dropped? It took it a while."

It was clear Alison was completely oblivious, as she stopped and looked from Liz to me, and questioned, "What penny, what are you two talking about?"

I didn't answer Alison directly, but instead addressed Liz. "Yes it has, how long have you two been in the swinging lifestyle?" I could see Alison's hand go to her mouth.

Liz said, "We started when the kids were young. Just two or three couples at a time. Big enough to have a party in the house without making too much noise. As the kids grew up, we moved around different parties. Now, there is a big group of us, all with kids out of the house, so we can have big parties and we can move between houses without raising suspicions in babysitters."

Tom had walked past me, and as Liz finished her statement, shouted, "Come into the living room, the drinks cabinet is in here. I assume you want the same as you have been drinking all night."

I didn't look at Alison, but I knew she was shocked by the revelation. Therefore, my first fear that she had set me up was unfounded. I walked into the living room. Liz was by then on my tail, but Alison was a few steps behind her. I took my drink from Tom, but remained standing. I wanted to make sure I sat beside Alison when she sat down. Not because I thought Tom and Liz were going to try and pair us off, but because I wanted to be close to her so I could move the conversation away from the elephant in the room, and get to a point where we could go home, quickly.

I had a feeling Liz and Tom would be happy to have us as non-swinging friends going out with us like tonight, as we would be happy to go out with them. But if we spent too much time in their house, or went to one of their parties, they would be more than happy to get us into the lifestyle.

Liz had other ideas about the conversation. She started, "I don't think Alison has recovered from our little revelation. Don't worry, Alison, we have friends who are not swingers. We don't hide our lifestyle and we like to let anyone know they are welcome to join us but we never pressure anyone. This lifestyle is not for everyone, in fact it's not for ninety-nine percent of couples, but, if you would like to try it, you can join our parties, all you have to do is ask. You can certainly come to a party to see what it is like without taking part in the swapping; in fact, there is one planned for tomorrow night in this house. I can see by John's stance he is terrified we are going to try something now. John, I assure you, neither Tom nor I will touch you or Alison."

I took a very long drink from my glass, then said, "Liz, both Alison and I have had a really good time tonight. I wanted to do this again, but I certainly don't want to be part of this aspect of your life. I think Alison and I should go. I am not being rude, but I want to remember this as a really enjoyable night, not an uncomfortable one."

Tom concluded that part of the conversation with, "Very wise, let's make this a regular thing, but we won't bring you here over a party weekend again. For your information, there are two parties a month, so the party is only in this house once every six or seven months or so." He picked up the phone, saying, "I'll order you a taxi, should be here in about five minutes as the depot is just around the corner."

I had noticed by this stage, that Alison had not said a word since the revelation in the kitchen. When I looked at her, her expression was unreadable. I did know that an explosion was about to happen when we got home, and I just hoped it wasn't going to be a desire to try out the lifestyle.

Liz, Tom and I continued with small talk, until the taxi arrived. Alison remained deathly quiet.

The taxi ride was completed in silence also and when we arrived home, Alison bolted for the door as I paid.

I entered the house to find Alison sitting in the living room, with only a side light on. The expression on her face was pale. I stood, leaning against the living room door, waiting to see what was about to come next.

She started in a very quiet and timid voice, "Why did you reject the party so out of hand?"

Was my big fear about to be realised? I went straight to the point. "When we were in college, we were never really exclusive because we were on and off nearly every month. Our relationship was fun but never really intimate or fulfilling. When we moved here and met again, we became exclusive immediately and our relationship was full of love, intimacy and has been very fulfilling. I fear that if we enter the swinging lifestyle, we will go back to being like college, and our relationship and marriage will peter out and die. I don't want that."

She looked at me with sad eyes, saying, "I understand, let's go to bed."

That night we lay in each other's arms, clearly engrossed in our own thoughts. I hoped beyond hope, that Alison had not fallen for this as a lifestyle choice because for me, it was a lifestyle ender.

The next morning, I woke up early and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. About ten minutes later, Alison came into the kitchen, gave me a smile and started making coffee. We both sat at the table, and it was clear, neither of us knew where to start, but the silence was, at least, comfortable.

Eventually, Alison started, "When did you know they were swingers?"

"I didn't," I replied. "Well not until I saw the empty fish bowl. I was looking at Liz and her head started to nod in a sort of laugh and it struck me, that was not a fish bowl it was a bowl for car keys in a swingers party."

Alison looked at me. "I don't get it?"

I smiled. My wife was very clever, but not always in the ways of the world. I explained, "The story goes that at swingers parties, the couple puts their car keys in a bowl or bucket. At the end of the night, the woman reaches into the bowl and takes a set of car keys. Whoever owns the car, goes home with that woman for sex. The idea is that the choice is random. There is no choosing partners, no need for mutual attraction, just random choice. I am sure the meaning of 'swinging' is in there somewhere, but I don't know where. All I know is that it is supposed to be just random, casual sex between a closed group of people."

Alison sat quietly for a while, clearly savouring her coffee before asking, "You won't be into the casual sex thing, sure you wouldn't? You said last night that when we were on and off, you really didn't feel it for me, but as soon as we were exclusive, you just fell for me. I loved you from the start and I could never understand why it kept coming apart. I thought the variation was good for us. I never fully understood; I don't think I do now."

Alison stood up and announced, "I'm going for a shower."

I watched her climb the stairs, then went to the yard to cut the grass and do some clean up. At about one o'clock, Alison called me in for lunch. As soon as I sat down, I knew she wanted to talk more.

She opened the conversation, "I have been thinking about what you said last night and this morning, and I have been trying to put it into context with my own feelings. As you know, I have always loved you deeply. I never had a problem sharing you as I always felt you would come back to me, and ultimately, I was right as we are married now.

"Sharing for me was an experience that expanded what we did. I never knew you disliked it so much, I thought you enjoyed it like me. I don't know, but this has really got into my head, I need to figure it out. Exclusivity for me was always about having children, it was needed for the emotional development of those children. Now we can't have children, I wanted to see what my feelings are on expanding things, but I did not know how.

"When you and Liz mentioned swinging, I had a lightbulb moment. You noticed my strange reaction, but you didn't mention it. Then you shut it down so fast. I need to understand your dislike of sharing, and I need to know if I still would like to, or not. I need to see how it works for others and why you can't do it. I need to go to this party tonight. I have spoken to Liz and we can go as non-swinging guests. Will you take me?"

My heart sank. I was shocked, disappointed, but above all, terrified. I knew that if we went, I feared Alison would want to experience the emotion, that watching would not be enough, but I also knew she would not rest until we went. I had one throw of the dice and this was the time to make it.

"Alison, I want you to reconsider. I will not share you, if we go to that party I will not go with anyone else, but if you go with someone else, no matter who, that will end our marriage. Do you understand that? Even if we go, I will be uncomfortable and unhappy. You are taking me to the lion's den and our marriage will be injured, even if it gets out alive. Please don't do this."

Alison looked very sad, but said, "John, you know me. I have to work this out and the only way I can do this is physically seeing it, for better or worse. Please go with me. We will not take part, and we will leave just before the keys are drawn. I promise you, this will quench my curiosity."

I was trapped. If we went and Alison even suggested entering the draw, my love and our marriage would be damaged. If I refused to go, she would feel I was holding her back emotionally, and that would also damage our marriage.

I took a deep sigh. "OK, we will go, but be aware, I am going under duress. I don't want to see what goes on, I don't want to know the people there, and I certainly don't want to participate. Also be aware it will probably damage our friendship with Liz and Tom. After I see them with other people, I will not have the same respect for them. Now you know my feelings, are we going?"

Alison kissed me and said, "Yes. I will not participate and I will ensure we leave before the main part of their evening begins."

After lunch, I went outside, ostensibly to finish the yard work, but really to give me time to think and plan. I would drive, that was a given. I did not want to have any alcohol as I needed the ability to get away. The problem was that meant we had car keys, and car keys were the entry point of their game. I didn't know what time the draw started, but I had to make sure Alison was out of the house before it did. I was sure there would be a level of excitement in the draw, and I had the feeling Liz would try and persuade Alison to add our keys, and if Alison was drinking and flirting, she might just want to join in. I had to avoid that. I knew my love for her would not survive if she did ask to join the party.

Alison had gone all out for dinner. Steak, French fries, onions, mushrooms and roasted tomato. This was definitely a butter-me-up dinner. I hoped it was only for attending, I was nervous as hell. Alison didn't know it, but I did -- our marriage was on the line.

We finished dinner in relative silence, both wrapped up in our thoughts. Once we had finished clearing up, Alison told me to go up to shower, and she had left my clothes on the bed.

I showered and shaved before entering the bedroom. Alison was sitting at her dressing table, applying makeup. She was wearing a red g-string. That was not unusual-- what was unusual, was that she had no bra on. Alison never went without a bra, but clearly tonight she was. I looked on the bed and she had laid out my tux.

I commented, "This is very formal."

She looked at me in the mirror, saying, "I want every woman in the place to be jealous of my man."

I smiled. "What are you wearing?"

She pointed at the wardrobe door and I could see her short red dress she wore to formal events. She looked stunning in it, but it was low cut.

I asked, "Are you wearing a bra with it? I have never seen you go out without one."

She shook her head. "This is a one-time thing. I need to feel a bit sluttish tonight. Liz said not to wear knickers, but I couldn't do that, so I settled for no bra."

Part of me was relieved. She intended this as a one-time thing. Let's hope that intention lasted the night. Also, at least, she was wearing a g-string, but with Alison's large chest, she would struggle to stay in that dress, especially if things got boisterous, which is why she always wore a bra.

I drove very slowly to Liz and Tom's. I hoped Alison would say turn around, or if I drove slowly we would not arrive. Of course, it didn't work and we arrived at eight o'clock. There were already eight or nine cars parked around the house, and the sounds of a party could clearly be heard outside.

Alison jumped out of the car and ran to the door, showing an enthusiasm I had not seen for some time. I, on the other hand, felt nothing but dread, and I had to drag myself to the door.

Liz flung the door open, as I slowly dragged myself up the path. I heard her saying to Alison, "You came, I am so glad. You will love to meet the gang and I really hope we can make this a memorable night."

Alison looked at me, as I came up the step beside her, and she bit her lip, then said nervously, "We are only here to see, we plan to leave early. I don't think it is for me, but I need certainty. John already knows it would be an issue for him. Let us just watch, mingle and enjoy ourselves."

Liz moved aside, and we both entered the house. At that moment another three cars arrived, and Liz looked out. "Oh good, everyone has arrived. I can't wait to introduce our potential new attendees."

The feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach got even worse upon hearing that. It was clear Liz thought we were here to join in, and she was not going to stop until we either threw the keys in the middle, or left. I knew my feelings of friendship would not survive the hard press she seemed intent on putting on us.

Alison was heading for the living room, and Liz shouted after her, "Go into the kitchen, I want to make a grand entrance with you two when everyone is seated."