Swiping Right Ch. 01: Lovely

She hated this. Well, maybe hate was the wrong word. She resented this. It had been two years since the divorce and all her friends kept telling her it was time. She had made a resolution on her fortieth birthday to be more open to new things, more spontaneous, but this was not what she had meant. Why was everyone in such a rush? She sat looking into her cooling cup of tea. The guy sitting across from her was certainly in a rush. His name was Craig. He was an accountant. He had spent the whole evening talking about himself and staring at her chest with very obvious hunger in his eyes. She looked up and immediately saw his eyes slowly shift upwards to meet hers. She realized she had completely tuned him out for a moment. He had obviously asked her something: he was looking at her expectantly. She had lost track of the number of times in the last few months men had looked at her expecting something.

"I'm so sorry, I'm a bit tired after work, what were you saying?"

He looked a little put off. Did he even know how hard her day had been? He certainly never bothered to ask her about it. Was that too much to ask for? For someone to actually try to connect with her on a level that didn't involve her body? Apparently it was. And how about a man with a nice, deep, calming voice? His was fast and a little too whinny for her taste.

"I was asking if you wanted to maybe get out of here and go back to my place."

It took every ounce of her waning strength to not to groan out loud. Was this guy serious?

"No, I'm sorry, I had a really hard day at work. I'm probably just going to head home, sorry."

Surely no one could blame her. One of the patients at the clinic where she worked had died today. She was very good at leaving things like that at the door. He was, had been 37. She tried very hard to make sure she wouldn't bring these things home to her kids. He had two kids of his own, a little boy of 5 and a girl, 3. She tried very hard and usually succeeded in keeping her professional and private lives separate, but it still took it's toll, sometimes it just left her tired. Surely no one could blame her.

He sighed, exasperated.

"I'm so fucking tired of you god damn cock teases and your bullshit."

He left her sitting there. She was grateful. At least he hadn't yelled and made a scene, or gotten drunk, or tried to touch her. As far as bad dates went, this one was nowhere near that bad really. She let that thought sink in for a moment. Maybe she was just bad at this whole dating thing. Maybe what she wanted didn't exist anymore. She finished her tea, put on her coat and walked out into the cool night air.

She got into her car, put the key in the ignition, and started it. The radio clicked on, the country station she always listened to was half way through Johnny Cash singing Folsom Prison Blues. She smiled. She took the phone out of her purse to send a quick text to her son to let him know she was on her way home. He wasn't with her this week but he still liked to know she was safe. She turned on her phone and her dating app let her know she had another match. She sighed. She sent the text without opening the app. She would check on it tomorrow, she wasn't in any hurry. She pressed "go home" on her GPS, waited a little longer to be sure that Craig's car was long gone before pulling out of the parking lot and taking the long drive home.

The traffic in the city was still pretty bad with all the summer construction. She missed long, empty, country roads. She pulled into the driveway of her new house half an hour later. Well, it wasn't new, she had lived in it for almost two years now but she had shared a house with her ex for almost 20 years. They had raised three kids in that house. It had sold last year and that had hurt more than she had expected. She went into the empty house. She texted her son to let him know she had gotten home safe. She knew she wouldn't have much more time with him, her last baby. Why was everyone in such a rush when all she wanted to do was slow everything down. Her phone beeped and she opened the message assuming it was her son replying, it was not, it was from Craig.

Listen, I'm willing to give you another chance if you cut out the bullshit, okay

She sighed. She knew enough to just block and delete his messages on her phone and then in the app as well. She had gotten vicious tirades when she had tried a polite "no, thank you" with men like him in the past and not answering at all had gotten her the same result. She logged into the app to block him there and there was her new match staring back at her. He was cute but she was not in the mood. She needed her bed and that's where she went.

The next morning at work the match was, of course, still there, waiting for her. Now that she was more rested and had put the unpleasant date behind her, her curiosity was outweighing her reluctance; he had been pretty cute. She sighed, opened the app and had a second look. He looked good in his pictures: one of him on horseback, one of him running, the obligatory selfie. She read the profile. He seemed to be a bit of an eclectic jumble of different interests. She would take a chance, after all, she had decided to be more spontaneous after turning 40. She thought about what she would say for a moment then decided she would just do what she always did, say exactly what she thought.

Hi Chris, you seem a bit eclectic... I like it

She put her cell phone down and started to do her reminder calls for the appointments that were coming close. She got to his name. She had been doing this job for over five years, they had a lot more wins than losses, but she felt every loss. She sent an email to cancel his chemo treatment. Her phone beeped. It was a reply from Chris. She wiped her eyes so she could see the screen better and silently thanked whoever invented water proof mascara.

Hi Amanda, you seem pretty awesome, but full disclosure, I know you prefer men over 5'10", I'm just 5'10", I'll understand if that's a deal breaker, I just don't want to waste your time :)

He had actually read her profile. That was novel. She was also quite certain no one had ever said that they would be understanding if she turned them down. Her curiosity about this man was growing.

Don't worry, it's not a deal breaker, I'm just tall and enjoy my heels. Good morning.

She sent it with a twinge of regret and waited for it. They usually made a comment about loving long legs whenever she mentioned her height and her love of heels. She got another beep from her phone. She took a deep breath and opened the message.

Good morning. I'm not used to anyone being up this early.

That was refreshing; a lovely surprise. She smiled, looked through his pictures again; she was liking him more and more.

I work at a hospital so I have to be up and about but we can message throughout the day if you like

And it was true, the work was piling up and she had to get cracking both because it would take her mind off yesterday and it wasn't going to do itself.

That would be lovely:) I look forward to it

"Lovely", that was her word. She had no filter so she typed exactly what she was thinking.

Hey, "lovely" is my word, I can't believe you're already stealing my words

The phone beeped again. She decided she had the time for one more message.

Sorry, (gives back "lovely" hoping she doesn't notice all the other words I have stolen)

She laughed. She hadn't realized how much she needed that laugh until it happened. Two of her colleagues turned to look at her. She was slightly embarrassed but was enjoying this too much to care.

And so it went with them messaging back and forth all day. She felt a little foolish, like a giggling school girl crushing on a boy in her English class but he was a breath of fresh air, he was lovely. She sent him a selfie, there was cleavage in it, she asked for a selfie from him in return. She waited for his reply with equal parts hope and dread. Normally it would either be a "dick pic" or a comment about her "tits"/"boobs"/"jugs". What was it with men? She was starting to lose faith in the entire gender. It was neither, it was a picture of his smiling face and a message.

You have a really beautiful smile

No she didn't. She was average looking. She was modest about what she was and she never considered herself to be very photogenic anyway. But despite all of that, the comment and his smiling face made her smile. She smiled the whole day, messaging him every time she had a free moment, there were not enough of those. They messaged each other as they both got home after work. Right up until he said he needed to head to bed. She decided to give him her cell number so that they could text without the app; she was getting messages from too many men that were not her type. She also decided she wanted to meet him sooner rather than later; she really wanted to know if he would be this lovely in person.

They spent most of the next day texting back and forth. Nothing changed. He was just as lovely on the second day, and was just as eager to meet her when she proposed it. They decided to meet for dinner the next evening. She realized she was feeling a rush to meet him for the very reason that he was not rushing her in any way, he was letting her dictate the pace and respecting her limitations. They talked about what they would do on their first date. He told her a few horror stories of bad dates.

I swear to god, I thought she was trying to swallow my head, her tongue ended up in my nose!

She loved his sense of humour, he was really getting to her.

Well, what if I want to kiss you but you don't want to kiss me?

She knew he wouldn't be crude, using this opportunity to try to rush her into a sexual conversation she was not ready to have, though she had to admit the more she talked to him the more she felt her spontaneous side coming out.

dating tip: if the guy offers you gum, it means he wants to kiss you

She laughed and wanted to keep chatting with him but was tired of texting. She also wanted to hear his voice. She asked for him to call her. His voice was a deep, rich, baritone. He was obviously a little nervous but there was no rushing, no rudeness, no crudeness, it was so refreshing. She was starting to wonder why this guy was still single. They finalized plans on where to meet and wished each other sweet dreams. She fell asleep with a smile on her lips.

After another long day at work; the excitement of meeting him made the hours drag on but she was not tired, she felt a delightful nervous energy. After messaging him throughout that day and after issues with her GPS, she was stepping out of her car in a simple dress and some nice heels. He had gotten there early and was smiling as she walked towards him, he looked just like his pictures, dressed casually in a dress down shirt and jeans. The hug hello was lovely, warm, and lingering.

The conversation started off with the usual awkward small talk while they ordered but by the time the food arrived became very comfortable and flowing. He was engaging, his eyes rarely leaving hers, he asked questions, and listened attentively to her. He complimented her leaving her to protests of average looks which seemed to only make him more disposed to compliment her again. He was as patient and calming in person as he had been online and on the phone; she felt relaxed, she felt comfortable, there was no rush with him.

He was funny too. She spent most of dinner laughing with him. She wasn't sure when it happened but she knew she wanted to kiss him. They had joked about this through texting but now she was having dinner with this lovely man and she knew she wanted to be close to him. She hoped he felt the same way. As their dishes were being cleared away, he asked about her work. It had been a long day, she became a bit emotional as she spoke about the kinds of people they took care of, of the losses. His hand gently took hers. She looked up into soft, caring eyes. Her hand took his gratefully, he was such a lovely person. Fingers entwines they talked and talked. He talked about his experiences and encouraged her to try new things that she had never thought of. She talked about her life, her children, her love of the country. They both had to work the next day, and so, reluctantly they paid the bill and walked out into the cool night.

He jokingly suggested escorting her to her car twenty feet away to make sure she got there safe. His hand found hers as they walked. She smiled and bit her lower lip, hoping she would get the kiss she was longing for. She had gotten some very bad goodnight kisses of late and was hoping this one would break the streak. She turned towards him as they reached her car and their eyes met. His eyes were full of palpable longing as she was sure hers were as well. His free hand reached up and gently moved the hair away from her face. His touch was light and inviting, she felt the warmth of her desire for him flow over her. He cupped her cheek and she leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were firm and full and her free hand wrapped around his waist, she pulled him closer to her, feeling his body pressing against hers as the kiss deepened. Time became meaningless, she was lost in the kiss. Lost in his arms. Lost to the feel of his finger tips tracing the outlines of her face. Lost to the passion in his eyes that mirrored her own as the kiss ended. He smiled at her.

"I forgot to offer you the gum."

She laughed, again. She had not laughed this much in far too long. They kissed again and again. She was exhausted and had a long drive home and yet she wanted nothing more than to kiss this lovely man. It was then she heard him whisper.

"I could spend all night just kissing you."

She felt her whole body react to those words. She knew at that moment she wanted nothing more than just that. But, unfortunately, life was getting in the way, at least for the moment.

She found herself saying goodbye. Once again driving to her new, empty house. Once again texting her son, he would be back with her on Saturday. The phone beeped with a text from Chris.

Let me know when you get home safe. I had a wonderful time, can't wait to see you again

They exchanged a few more texts where he expressed his desire to see her again, how wonderful the kiss had been and she expressed her certainty that there would be more to follow. She went to bed, a smile on her lip, her mind replaying the kiss over and over again.

They wouldn't be able to have that second date for at least a week. She was getting her son back the next day and she wanted to spend every moment she could with him before he spread his wings and left her with an empty nest. She knew this was a bone of contention in the past with other men, always in a rush to move things forward. She was so certain it would not be an issue for him as she texted him.

Of course, I did the math last night, I can be patient for things that are worthwhile, and you are certainly worth the wait

She wasn't good at taking a compliment. She was too modest but it did make her smile to know that he might think that she was.

It was a week of phone calls and texting. He never pushed her. Never left multiple texts asking where she was. He respected the time she was spending with her son. It was blissful to know that someone wanted to talk to you all the time and yet was willing to give you the space you needed to be with the important people in your life. She knew the time would come. And a week later, it did.

They decided to go to dinner and a movie this time. Italian and a light romantic comedy. He picked her up at her place after work. It had been another long day of watching the clock tick away, daydreaming of him. She was so excited when she got the call that he was only five minutes away. She was once again in a dress and heels she watched for his car from the window. She was a bundle of nervous energy when she saw his car pull into the driveway. She grabbed her purse, unable to keep the wide smile from her face as she locked the door and turned to walk to his car. She got in and he looked wonderful in a rugby shirt that accentuated his shoulders and jeans. He couldn't even get his hello out before she had pressed her lips against his. It had been a week of dreaming of this kiss. It was soft and lovely and lingering, just as there first kiss had been but with the desperation born of a week of anticipation.

They talked of this and that on the way to the restaurant, she took his hand, their fingers intertwining, resting on her thigh. The meal was wonderful, The wine was lovely and his presence left her relaxed and excited all at once. She enjoyed the touch of his hand, the sound of his voice, the way he looked into her eyes. She even let her foot slide up his calf, she enjoyed the mild shock on his face at that. They paid for the meal and headed out to the movie. As they walked to his car arms around each other, he turned to her.

"Want a piece of gum."

She laughed and kissed his deeply. The movie was mediocre, though she had to admit sitting next to him, and letting her hand slide up and down his leg while he did the same to her. They shared popcorn and whispered comments throughout the movie. His voice and warm breath on her ear gave her shivers. She nearly moaned out loud when he kissed her ear and gently bit her earlobe. He looked very proud of himself as she realized she had dug her nails into his thigh. She returned the favour by gently biting his neck and enjoying how he seemed to melt. They left the theatre hand in hand, laughing. They made out in the car when he stopped to drop her off. She was was getting incredible aroused as the kissing became more and more passionate. His hands gently brushed against the side of her breast and she leaned into it. His touch was gentle but she could feel the strength behind it she could feel the warmth growing and her body began to ache for his touch. Yet he never made a demand, never pushed, but she wanted him so badly. Once again she decided to be bold.

"Do you want to come in for a glass of wine?"

He sat down on the couch in the living room while she went to get the bottle and a couple of glasses out of the kitchen. She was nervous, she knew she wanted this, she had spent a week dreaming about him, about kissing him, about touching him. She had even touched herself thinking of what it would feel like for his soft touches all over her body. She had gotten that small taste in the car and now she wanted more. Her whole body needed it.

She opened the bottle, poured them each a glass, and sat down next to him. They clinked glasses, kissed, had a sip of wine, then kissed again. The glasses were placed back on the coffee table, never to be touched again.

They kissed, their lips pressed together, their tongues exploring each other's mouths. The passion between them was building and building, her fingers were digging into his back; all she wanted was to feel his skin under her finger tips. He began to kiss her neck, there was no holding back now, she moaned out loud. He ran his teeth gently across the skin of her neck, her nails were racking the fabric of his shirt, her eyes rolling back as the warm wetness sent shivers across her skin. She could feel her wetness building as her sex throbbed and ached. She moaned and squirmed as his hand slid across her stomach. He stopped short of touching her breast and looked inquisitively into her eyes. She nodded her consent and pressed her breast into his palm. She could tell he was aroused as she was at the touch and emboldened by the pleasure she felt, she ran her fingers up his inner thigh. It was his turn to moan now. She let her hand stray across the growing bulge in his pants, his hand slipped down the front of her dress. She couldn't take it any longer, she stood up, taking him by the hands and lead him to her bedroom.