Tai's Story Ch. 06

I picked up the kids from the airport and I could see by the light shining in Talia's eyes she was very happy to see me. She jumped into my arms and hugged me tight. Tane was cooler standoffish, but he did still look happy to at least be here.

The first few days slid by quickly but on the third night Talia waited for Tane to go to bed before she tackled me. "Dad is it true what mum said about you?"

I couldn't answer I had been so afraid that this was going to happen and I had practiced and rehearsed so many different responses that I thought I had it covered, but here now it was staring me in the face and I was tongue tied. I couldn't speak. "Ummm... Talia I..."

She interrupted. "Dad it's OK I am not judging I was just hoping we could talk. I don't care. I just want you to be happy."

"Some of what your mother said is true. Yes I like to dress up as a woman." I stared into her eyes expecting to see revulsion or disgust but she reached out and we hugged.

"Dad it's Ok, it really is. So are you gay?"

I almost choked. "No I am not gay... I just like to dress up. I am sorry Talia but this is a bit personal."

"Dad I don't care if you are. I just want you to know that I support you 100%."

I hugged her tighter. "Thanks love that means a lot to me. I was scared you would hate me."

"I could never hate you Dad. I love you and I know you didn't leave because you wanted to. That was mum being a bitch."

"Please don't talk like that about your Mum honey. It was a difficult time for her."

"Yeah but she didn't have to kick you out. She treated you so bad. Tane knows as well."

"So how are you getting on with mum now?" I asked. "Has she come to terms with your announcement?"

'No not really Dad she treats me like I am suffering from some disease or something. She thinks it's just a phase or something."

"Is it" I was trying not to make light of it but I had to ask.

She looked at me with a look of apprehension. "I don't think so I have always felt a bit different. I am attracted to girls, boys do nothing for me."

I nodded. "Yeah I know how that feels love. So do you have a girlfriend or anything?"

She giggled. "No I am too scared to ask. There are a couple of girls I really like but I am scared to say anything."

"Talia get used to it honey that is something that is going to follow you through your whole life. There is still a stigma about homosexuality. You just have to be yourself."

"But what if I ask them out and they get upset and never talk to me again?"

"Whoa hold on young lady I just meant you need to be honest about how you feel, not that you should be chasing girls."

She sniggered guiltily. "Cut it out Dad..."

Over the remainder of the holiday Talia and I forged a really close bond. Tane on the other hand seemed to be drifting further away. The holidays flew by we spent every day doing different things. Melbourne certainly offers plenty of entertainment. There was no shortage of things to do or places to go. Before you know it we were hugging goodbye at the airport. Neither of them seemed too keen on leaving. It was plain that Talia and her Mum were not getting along.

During the holidays Luce had taken the time to prepare the house for sale and the amazing thing was it sold within two days of going on the market.

By the time I got home from my next shift which was over six weeks away from home. There was a new expansion on site and I had volunteered to stay on site. Some time away from the pressures of Alex and Ben was a good thing. Anyway when I opened my bank account statement the money was in the bank. I didn't hesitate I deposited it straight into the investment account. I might be having second thoughts about the sexual aspects of our relationship, but there was no questioning his ability as an investment advisor. I went out for a walk and as I got back in carrying bags of groceries, I was putting them away, I got a call from Ben asking what the extra money was. Suddenly he had an extra two hundred and fifty grand to play with. He was pretty happy especially with extra hours I had been doing on site the balance was growing quickly. His parting words were. "Baby this thing is moving fast. I think we need to re-evaluate the time frame. We need to talk."

Later that night he called again, this time to ask if I wanted to play golf on Saturday. He and a few friends were going for a round. I declined. "Sorry mate golf isn't my thing... I have never played and it really doesn't interest me." He sounded disappointed. "Well what about meeting us in the clubrooms afterwards for a drink?"

"Nah not for me Ben. I will leave you to enjoy the day with your friends." As I was cooking dinner for myself later Alex called. And it didn't long before she asked. "Hey darling, how come you didn't go with Ben?"

"It's just not my thing. I don't like golf."

I heard her giggle. "Yeah I know what you mean, but you could have met for drinks?"

"What and talk about golf? Nah that's not me." We chatted for a while and I promised to get together with them as soon as possible.

The next day I got another call from Ben, this time to see if I wanted to play squash. Again I declined. "Sorry mate that's not me. I don't play squash. It's a bit namby pamby for me." He sounded frustrated and maybe a little bit offended.

I just wasn't comfortable going out with Ben by himself. While we were with Alex I could hide behind the fact we were both there to be with her and when we were having sex we were having sex with her. By ourselves it was just us and I wasn't ready to be that out or that proud. I mean he wasn't outwardly gay, but I wondered about his friends.

As expected I got another call from Alex wanting to know what the problem was? I explained again that I just wasn't into squash, which wasn't true I was our club champion when I was younger.

I had started to troll through the newspaper real-estate pages. All the talk about having my own restaurant had fuelled my dreams and it was all I could think about. Every night I went to bed dreaming about it, I dreamed about menu's and setting the place up. It was starting to build an expectation within me, and I needed to do this, I really wanted it.

The more I thought about it the more I realised I was ready. I managed to stall Alex for the next week as I tried to get my head straight. The more I told myself that I needed to take my own advice the more wrong it seemed. I couldn't put my finger on what made me so uncomfortable with it. I did enjoy the sex, no argument, but I just didn't want anyone to know about it. When you spend your whole life making fun of gays, it's hard to admit you are one...

My next shift on site was two months long. We were short staffed and it was perfect for me. I got to stay out of harm's way. When I got back to Melbourne Alex called and invited me to their place for a party they were throwing. Apparently they wanted to introduce me to some of their closest friends. I agreed on the back of what could go wrong at a party. She said "Babe you don't have to be nervous about this, it isn't anything special just a few of our close friends getting together. I am just so excited to introduce you to everyone."

I couldn't understand why she had made a big deal out of it, especially the not being nervous part. As I was getting ready and I was wondering what to wear, I thought surely if it was going to be formal she would have said. If it was just going to be friends it would be casual. So I just threw on jeans and a T-shirt I picked up a bottle of wine on the way to their place.

Alex opened the door and I saw a look of astonishment. "Tai what are you doing here?

I shrugged with a nervous smile. "You invited me!"

She did not look impressed. "Fuck we were expecting Amy."

I laughed loudly. "Don't be silly Alex you know how I feel about dressing in public."

She shuddered. "Well I sort of thought you had got past all that since...Well you know."

I didn't respond, I just stood there feeling stupid.

"Oh well you better come in." She opened the door and gave me a kiss. I noticed she was dressed spectacularly in a sparkly little cocktail dress. I started to feel uncomfortable. She had said it was just friends getting together.

The moment I got inside and walked into their living room it was apparently much more than a friendly barbeque. The guys were all dressed in blazers or suits and the women were all dressed as if they were at a ball. Ben didn't recognise me at first. He had never seen me in anything but a dress with full makeup. He looked up when I walked in with Alex and he did a double take as he tried to figure out who I was.

When the coin dropped I saw that look and it appeared to be exasperation. As Alex introduced me to their friends it was obvious I was the odd one out.

As she did the introductions she explained. "We get together once a month or so. It's just a chance for us girls to get all dressed up and try out new outfits."

As we walked over to the bar. "See babe that's why I was hoping Amy would be here. All the girls have been hanging out to finally meet you. The fabulous chef I keep ranting about."

"Well if you had told me, I would have taken a bit more care."

"Shit babe you are always dressed so impeccably I didn't think I needed to say anything. I thought you knew."

As I wandered around the guys were all talking business or golf. There were a couple of guys who were obviously gay, they were out and proud of it. They were so camp... But no one else seemed to cate, it just made me feel uneasy. I certainly didn't fit in.

The women were all grouped together and talking fashion which I would have loved to join in but I did not feel comfortable. Thy weren't exactly inviting me in. After walking around for a while Ben called me over to Daryl and Jamie the two openly gay guys. He tried to get some dialogue going but I was so freaked out the moment he walked away I made an excuse to go to the loo.

When I got back they had gone back to the other guys. I wandered around not really talking to anyone. Alex for her part was ignoring me and talking to her friends.

The last thing I wanted to talk about was golf and I didn't understand the business bullshit I was really isolated. Ben invited me out onto the balcony one of his friends had brought some Cuban cigars. That wasn't my scene I had never smoked in my life. So I hung around inside for a while before I cornered Alex and made my excuses. She didn't even try to change my mind I think she was pleased to see the back of me.

The next morning Alex called around to talk under the pretence of being in the area shopping. We sat out on the balcony and enjoyed a surprisingly warm morning. "Tai what happened last night? Why didn't Amy come? We were expecting Amy. We wanted all our friends to meet her. We told everyone you were coming, we thought it was the perfect chance for you to make some business acquaintances. When I told everyone that Amy the new chef in town was coming they got all excited."

"Did you tell them I am a crossdresser?"

She giggled stupidly. "Well yes I did tell a couple and they were looking forward to meeting you."

"I see and were they men or women?"

"Well both actually. What the hell is the problem Tai? Would it have hurt to let Amy have some fun?"

"We have talked about this many times Alex. I can't believe you expected anything else."

She shook her head in disbelief. "It's like you are embarrassed or ashamed of yourself."

"Fuck of course I am. Jesus Alex I have never been comfortable with that aspect of my life. I will never go out in public and let people laugh at me."

"No nobody would laugh darling, the women would have been jealous and the men horny. If there was laughter it would be you having the last laugh."

"So what was the thing about Amy the chef?"

She looked confused. "Well you know once you start your restaurant, you will be the chef. Babe those people last night are all wealthy successful people and would be great to have them on your side."

I was confused more than ever. "Alex, if the restaurant goes ahead it will be me Tai, not Amy."

She looked shocked. "You are joking! Babe don't be silly. Ben and I both understood that you were going to be using Amy. That is the point of difference and you could have promoted it. The gay community is so supportive, you would have a guaranteed audience every night."

I balked as I whispered. "Alex I don't want to do this if I need a gimmick. I want this to be me."

She shrugged. "Well it's your funeral Tai."

We ended with a little cuddle and she scooted away not at all happy with the outcome. She tried to organise another date before I flew out but I managed to find an excuse every time.

I flew out for work and while I was away Ben called me and we talked about the investment account. He had managed to turn my investment into over five hundred thousand dollars in eight months. He wanted to know if I wanted to keep going or whether I wanted to hold off and let it sit for a while. While we continued to invest I wasn't going to be paying any tax because we never showed a profit. I wasn't sure what to do. He said. "Look Tai my firm has a corporate box at the AFL grand final in a couple of weeks. It should coincide with your roster days back in Melbourne. Why don't you come along and we can have a chat in person?"

Wow a corporate box I was impressed but it would mean being with Ben by himself and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Jesus what if he wanted to have sex? Fuck I was so weirded out I said. "No thanks Ben I don't like AFL, rugby is more my thing."

"Babe it's not about the game it's just a chance to get together and talk. There will be other guys there who can offer good advice as well."

I flinched a little at the babe comment. I accepted it when I was Amy but it didn't feel right when I wasn't. "No thanks Ben it's not my cup of tea, AFL and business clowns that's not for me." The moment the words were off my lips I knew I had said the wrong thing. He hung up. I had only just returned to Melbourne when I got a call from Alex. "Tai Ben is very angry with you. He was offended by your disrespectful comments the last time you talked. He has been working extra hard trying to make your dreams come true and you mocked him. Just about every man in the country would kill for a chance to go to that game and get to watch from a corporate box. Christ do you know how much that was worth?"

"Alex it's just not my scene all right. I don't like those snooty business guys. Fuck that night at your party they all looked down their noses at me. I may as well have been dirt."

"Snooty, god you rude little shit. I think this has gone far enough don't you."

"Yeah whatever you say Alex. I don't want to argue." She hung up the phone and within a couple of days I had an email from Ben with all the documents for my investments. I couldn't believe how much money he had made for me. I felt bad he had put a lot of work into this. He attached a couple of names for people he was recommending as investment managers.

I gave one of them a call and set up a meeting. The moment I walked into his office I was uncomfortable. He was so openly camp and gay. Fuck I was uncomfortable just talking to him. Was this Bens parting joke at my expense. I listened to what he had to say but excused myself as quickly as possible saying I would think about his suggestions.

There was no way I was dealing with him. I started ringing around trying to find someone else. I got a nasty email from Ben when it was obvious I was looking elsewhere. He called me a bigot and an idiot. The guy he had referred me to was one of the best in the business.

Ah fuck it. It was while I was walking to another investment firm that I found it, a rundown derelict building. When I saw it I was blown away by the size and location. There was a real-estate broker's number so I gave them a call. Yes it was for sale. I walked to my meeting with my mind awash with ideas and plans. The price was right and it was perfect.

I needed a business plan but I had no clue, none what so ever. The only person I could think of apart from Ben was one of the guys I worked with, he had set up his own business and had also bought and sold a few over the years.

When I sat down with him he decided I needed more expert advice. He passed me over to one of his friends. Who turned out to be a bloody genius. We talked through what I wanted to do. He laughed long and hard when I explained I was an electrician and had never run a restaurant or anything. Still he helped me put together a business plan that I could take to the bank.

The building had an upstairs and I would be able to live there as well. That would save me a lot of money. The meeting with the bank went really well and they accepted my application for finance.

I submitted a very low offer for the building subject to it passing a building inspection, and was surprised when they accepted. So it was happening, this was real. I organised for the inspection immediately.

My plan was to keep working while the renovations were going on. That way when I returned from work I could do some of the work myself.

The next bit was hard, telling Pete and Evie. They were both shocked when I told them but they were also both happy and supportive, Pete especially prompted me to follow my heart. They were ready to get their own place anyway.

So I flew out to site my mind whirling and awash with plans. The whole time I was away I was ringing contractors, architects. The two weeks were gone in a flash. The first morning I was back in Melbourne I walked around to have a look at the new purchase. As I walked in I realised. This is it, this is my future, no longer a dream but reality.

No sense mucking around I told myself, it's time to make it happen. I started work on the upstairs part. I cleaned it out and started the construction of a decent bathroom and living quarters. It took the full two weeks but I made really good progress. Pete oversaw the contractors while I was away at site and by the time I got back it was ready for me to move in. Pete gave me a hand to move my belongings and we joked and laughed as he and Evie were going to stay in my old apartment until they found something that they liked. Pete really rubbed it in as he helped me pack up my wardrobe. "Fuck Tai how many clothes do you own!"

Evie rocked up as we finished the last load. Rather than cook I ordered pizza and we sat around what was going to be my new home and had a few drinks. We turned up the music and it turned into a late night.

When I woke in the morning it was like the world had exploded. Luce called me in tears. "Have you heard from Talia she has run away."

"What!" I hissed. That woke me up. "Run away? What the fuck has been going on over there?"

"Don't play the accusation game with me this is all your fault. She came back from her holiday all fired up. No this is your fault."

"Well what happened?"

"We fought yesterday and it got pretty bad. Mark sent her to her room and took away her mobile phone as punishment."

"Punishment my arse that was so she couldn't ring me. Have you called around her friends?"

"Of course I have. I have tried everywhere."

"I guess you better ring the police and hospitals. Has she taken many clothes?"

"No she only took a few things... Tai I don't want to ring the cops."

"Ring them I barked because if you don't, I will."

I hung up and started searching for a flight home. As I was scrolling through internet searches my phone went and it was Luce's Dad. "Tai Talia is here with us. She ran away, I wanted to call Luce but Talia went crazy. Could you call her and tell her she is OK?"

I agreed. "Can I talk to her?" Next thing it was Talia. "Dad can I come and live with you?"