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"Are you staying for a while, Em, or are you heading home? Have you, uh, heard from David today?" I asked her. "Tom was hoping you'd stay for a while? He wants to talk with us."
"Then, yes, I'll stay. In the meantime, I can help get the kids ready for bed and, perhaps, read to them?" she asked, hesitating just a bit. " And no, I haven't heard from David. I guess he really cares, huh," she sighed.
"Asshole! Anyway, the kids would love it if you stayed, Em. Thanks. I'm sure Tom can find something to do?" I asked, smiling.
"You guys go ahead. I'll get everything cleared up out here, okay?" he answered. Why couldn't all men be so attentive and damn helpful?
We corralled the kids and set off. I marveled at how well Em related to the kids, not having her own, she seemed a natural.
I felt for her. Perhaps if she had children, things with David may have been different, but you can't wish things that weren't there.
The kids dressed for bed, their school clothes all laid out for the morning in no time. We all went into the front room so they could say goodnight to Tom. They ran in and gave him humongous hugs, thanking them for a wonderful day, without being told to! That makes a change!
Em and I just looked at Tom and how he had taken to them. We turned and smiled at each other. We grabbed the kids and led them to their rooms. I softly kissed the kids, then Em, and left her to read and turn out their lights.
Tom had the TV on while walking back to the front room, but wasn't paying too much attention. He turned it off when I came in, and put some music on. I saw he had half-filled two glasses of wine for Em and me. He was sipping from his tumbler. No surprises there!
I sat next to him and leant onto his comfortable chest. We just breathed and relaxed.
"Thanks for everything today, Tom. And I mean everything." I said, earnestly. "We'll all talk when Em is finished reading," I said, indecisively.
"We can do that, darling. Anything I should know before we start?" he asked me.
"Nothing detrimental, okay. Everything is good, Tom," I said, trying to be honest and positive. "I think that now is a good time to clear the air. There's been an elephant in the room and it's time we addressed it, all right?" I said, my stomach twisting as the words that came out. "Let's wait for Em. She's almost through so..." and I let the rest hang in the air.
I told Tom how impressed with him I was today. "Everything just seems so easy for you! I'm jealous! You make being with the kids so easy! They...they love you, ya know? 'This' just seems so
natural for you. I love it," I gushed.
"It is easy, Chrissie. I don't know how or why but it just is. I'm trying not to question it too much at this point. This, we, just seems so right," he said, my heart leaping at his words.
Em gingerly walked into the room, her eyes darting from one of us, then the other.
"Is it...okay if I come in?" she asked, with hesitation.
"Of course!" I cried. "Here. Sit with us," I said, motioning to the couch.
"Sooo," I said, and we all laughed. "Tom and I thought now would be as good a time as any for us to have a chat about...things, okay?"
I saw the trepidation in Em's eyes.
Tom moved to the coffee table, facing us. I looked at him, and it all came flooding out.
Chrissie POV
"Can I start, Tom? I know that I'm the cause of all this, okay, and as Tom said to me earlier, this needs to be addressed now, rather than later. Some of it should have been talked about before, but it wasn't. That's on me, right? Now, Tom, this attraction between us has been building for years. I've been in love with you, from a
distance, but in love with you, nonetheless. We can't explain- but we both know.
"And yes, you're right, I was unfair to you by not mentioning Em before you arrived. I've never told you the nature of our relationship. I'm sorry for that. I also realize I have put you in a difficult position. I've known this incredible woman for over five years. I could not have gotten through my divorce without her. She saved me, in so many ways.
"Em is a huge part of my life, she's grown to be more than just a 'good friend'. I know that our relationship is going to be a little tougher to navigate now. I should have realized that and dealt with it by telling you.
"I love you both. All I can say is 'sorry' and hope we can make this work." I said, hopefully, so they understood.
TOM POV
Looking at them, I said, "I understand this, Chrissie. But, don't you think you've led me on just a bit here? Of course, I wish you were honest with me, and disclosed more about your bond with Emily. If truth be told, it's the emotional part that hurts me more. I don't know how you didn't realize what you were doing when I arrived.
"So, before we can go forward, this needs to heal, and I don't know how that's going to happen. I see your deep connection with Emily, but I'm wondering where do I fit in? I know you love me, Chrissie, but this isn't how I envisioned my life, sharing you with another. I would have had time to digest this if you had told me about Emily, but I was thrown into the deep end here. You took that opportunity away from me. I come back home, we have the most wonderful time together then, a week later, you tell me about Emily. Did you just expect me to embrace this?" I said, feeling myself getting angry.
"Now, I see what you're doing here, pushing Emily and me
together. It's not fair, on either of us. Poor Emily, does she have to stand by and be, what, a piece for you to fit in? How can you
expect me to fall in love with another woman, because I'm in love with you! So, I should be with you because YOU want it? Does she get a say in your plans? Why, then, isn't Emily enough for you?
"When you said you didn't want to share me, for me to have sex with Emily, you weren't being entirely forthright? I told you how much I value fidelity, but it seems you misrepresented your actual intentions. You cannot manipulate people like this. Did you think I would just accept this, or just decide to push us together in the hopes that I would? How can this work?"
Turning to Emily, I said, "This is NOT down to you, okay? It's all on Chrissie."
Looking at Chrissie, I asked, "How did you think this was all going to work out? Chrissie, you have to take responsibility for your
actions, and, well, dishonesty," I replied, my eyes full of hurt. "Did you even consider talking to me about how you feel about Emily, or did you think that's okay. Everything will work out? Emily, I like you. I do. I love what you've done for Chrissie, I cannot thank you enough. How did you think this was all going to work? Did Chrissie persuade you that the three of us could work, or are you as
surprised by this as I am? Are you even happy about that? Do you really want to share Chrissie? I'm not here to break up your relationship with Chrissie, okay?" I calmly said.
Emily POV
My shoulders dropped, my eyes were full of shock from Tom's words.
"First of all, I'm not happy with Chrissie for not being entirely forthcoming with you. And misleading you. It wasn't fair, and if I can say, very unlike her. I knew you were coming and yes, I knew Chrissie's feelings for you. I did, Tom. I should have talked with her, called her out on it, before you arrived- so yes, I'm so sorry, too, Tom. I should have questioned Chrissie about us. Where would I fit in? I feel a bit foolish right now, actually," I said, upset as I was.
"Chrissie fills a part of me that even I don't understand. We've known each other for over five years, as she said, but it wasn't until her divorce and she fell apart, that our feelings developed. She's had to share me with David, so yes, I've been cheating, physically and emotionally, too. I've dealt with that guilt, believe it or not," I admitted.
"Do I, could I, share Chrissie? Simply put, yes. The same way she has shared me with David all these years. If you weren't here, would I leave David for her? I haven't, have I? Do I want to be with Chrissie now that I WILL be free of David? I've given this so much thought, Tom. But yes, I would. Believe me, Chrissie is so, so complete when you're here. I don't truly think I alone can fill that void, I realize she needs, for whatever reason, the two of us. It's like a yin/yang thing with her. But I don't know how Chrissie can make this right between you two. I want her to, but I don't know how," I said, sadly.
"So, Tom. What do you want? Is it the trust issue? If it is, let me put your mind to rest. She's in love with you. Sure, she's had some relationships over the last three years but none, none lasted. I knew why, she was longing for you, for her lost love."
"If she wasn't so fucking scared and stupid, you would have been together years ago. She's a scared little girl at heart, Tom. Sure, she's so in control at work, but in her heart, she's scared...and lonely. Her heart has been broken for years, because of you, and before Jack. I couldn't and can't fill that part, Tom. I tried, but
accepted that it would never be enough, as much as I could give her, and that tears me up, Tom. That has made me feel insecure over time, but I finally understood Chrissie," I breathed, trying not to break down, all the uncertainty tumbling from my heart.
"But, you're here now. Only WE can make her complete. And that's what I want, Tom. I want her to be complete. Only you can...if you choose. Chrissie is a complex person, Tom," she laughed.
"So, is she worth the time and trouble? For me, she is. Is one person worth the effort? To me, she is. Is she that special? To me, she is. Only you know if she is to you, also.
"You see, Tom, like Chrissie, I see us as a whole. I see the potential of us. We all can fill each other. Now, these are early days, so I don't know what, if anything, you need, and you don't know what I need, if anything. The big question is, do YOU need anyone else to make YOU feel complete? All I do know is that my life feels more complete with her, and with you in it. I've lived with the joy and love she has had for you, all these years.
"If I can help fill that elusive part of her, that empty part, I will. So yes, I will share her heart, her love, her life because by doing that, I'm with this incredibly soulful, beautiful woman. And I believe that by helping Chrissie become complete, I, too, will become complete. This isn't all about her. It's about me, and hopefully... you. When I was happy with David, I never felt what I feel with Chrissie. She brought so much to me,' I said, hopefully explaining all these deep emotions.
"Can I say something? I feel like I'm getting beat up here!" Chrissie said, exasperated.
"You are, Chrissie. These are the consequences of your, I'll say, untruths," Tom almost spat back.
Chrissie POV
"Okay. I get it. Thank you, Em, for all the beautiful words. I feel I don't deserve you after all I've put you through, and now Tom.
"So how do I heal us? I'm lost. Time, for me, is the only answer to that. It's true what Em said, I do need you both. I don't know why. Truly, I don't. So, where do you fit in? You're that missing piece, Tom. YOU make this all complete. You make me complete," I carefully said.
"Would just you alone complete me? I...I don't know. I think Em said it more succinctly, I'm a more complex person than people imagined. I'm not saying that as an excuse for my actions, okay? I think this has been, in part, because of you and my feelings for you, all these years. But yes, even after the short time we have been together, I see it. I see us, and all you give to me. I only hope I have given you the same," I admitted.
"Yes, I'm a coward. I should have done something years ago. I'm more sorry than you can imagine. But we have a chance, the three of us, to do this. It's not some distorted ego trip, either. I do not get off on two people loving me, I haven't looked for that. I'm not that insecure that I need everyone to love me. My 'insecurity' is deeper than that. I believe it stems from you, Tom. My attractions and love for you, if truth be told. I can't help the way I feel. I can change who I am, but not how I feel."
"I know I'm putting you both in an unbearable position. I
understand that. And I know there are all these 'what-ifs' still hanging over our heads, the biggest being, what if you two do not like each other or can't or won't get along? Hmm? Are you going to feel you have to, just for me? That's another shitty position I've put you both in. Fuck it, I'll sell the kids and just go be a fucking nun, okay? That would sort everything out," I laughed.
"I know my actions say otherwise, but I am not a devious person, Tom. I'm...I'm just looking for love. And I've found it, with you both. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, Tom. I don't. I guess it goes back to what Em said, is it worth it? Am I worth it? That's all it really comes to," I said, drained by the outpouring of emotion.
"So. Where do we go from here? How do we move forward?" Tom asked sincerely.
"Forgiveness, for starts," I sighed, my eyes welling up, too.
..........................................................................................
"So, I can forgive, but that will come with time. Anything you could do to repair this? What about Emily and me? How do we move
forward knowing that our decision, our relationship will shape this whole thing? How do we move forward knowing that our
relationship was planned instead of chosen? That's a lot of pressure you've put on us, Chrissie. Will it be real or forced? How do we express our true feelings for one another, knowing in the back of our minds, if it doesn't work, three people are going to be hurt? Fuck, Chrissie," I said, my temper barely under control.
"Okay, maybe it can be construed as being selfish, thinking of just myself, and my happiness, but I have acted this way for us all. I can promise you both that it stops now. Would you believe me? Probably not. My actions would though, and that's what I'm prepared to do for you both. Show you, really show what I want to be like, how I want to live and be. But, we could also begin to start here. Start to work on the important issues. Do you genuinely like and care for each other? Do you see a future with each other...and me?" Chrissie asked, scared of what our answers would be.
"Tom, when you kiss Em, was it real or forced. Do you feel
attraction towards Em? And, what attraction? Is it physical or deeper?" Chrissie breathed.
"And Em, I'll ask you the same. Do you like kissing Tom and the
affection he gives you? Is it to please me, or yourself? I know it may be hard for you to distinguish between the two because of what you're going through with David but still..." Chrissie asked, with trepidation.
"Do you see, in each other, the potential for a fulfilling, loving
relationship with each other? Is he filling anything for you?" she
continued.
"Great, Emily. Now we get to pull each other apart. Now WE get put on the spot," I said harshly, still deeply hurt.
"Behave, Tom. I'm being serious!" Chrissie said.
"Oh, I think we both know that!" I snapped back.
Chrissie ignored my barb. "So, Tom. Can you answer my question? How do you feel about Em? We need to be honest here, all right? Yeah, I know, I'm the one who's going on about honesty, I get the irony. If you guys don't truly don't think this will work, then we go to the next option. Tell you what, neither one of you answer, okay? Not yet. It's not fair to ask you to answer right now. Sorry," Chrissie sobbed lightly.
Emily POV
"No, Chrissie. I can answer your question, okay? In all honesty? Yes. I can definitely see it happening. Tom, I know we've just met, and Chrissie is not going to want to hear this, but I find you an
attractive and completely desirable man. What I do know of you from, Chrissie, well, I've said this before, if she's this much in love with you, that's a pretty good barometer of the kind of guy you are. I see how she has changed just in the short time you've been here. I see the way you act and treat her. I've said it to her, I'm jealous," I giggled.
"I get that we have a lot of digging to do to get to know one another, but I like that. You're not a shallow guy. My attraction is more than physical, okay. As Chrissie has told me COUNTLESS times, it's you. It's who YOU are. Now, this could always be the First Date Syndrome where everyone is on their best behaviour, but I seriously doubt it. Not from what I've seen.
"And yes, I adore kissing you. And the attention. And it's not just because I'm starved of both. I believe I get you. I can feel the stirrings of that emotional connection we ALL need. Now, maybe that connection isn't enough for you? I don't know. That's only for you to ask yourself and answer. Now, Tom, please, don't feel you have to answer now, okay? There is no way I need an answer, especially if it's only to stroke my ego, okay? Or not, as the case may be," Emily said, pouring her heart out to us both.
Tom POV
"Well, thanks, gals," I said, facetiously. "First of all, thank you Emily. I appreciate your candour. But, I feel just a bit on the spot here but yeah, I can answer you, Chrissie. Emily, it's true, you ARE a stunningly beautiful woman but, as you just said, I'm looking for more. It's that elusive connection, someone with the right compass inside. And yes, I've seen that in you. You're an amazing woman, and yes, I would certainly love to get to know you. I still need to
readjust my compass and get my head around this, but yes, I'd like to see where we go. You see, I always imagined it was only Chrissie that could give that to me. Now you're both saying it could be even more enhancing with both of you?" I asked, unsure if I had understood everyone.
"Does...does this mean you forgive me, Tom? And you, Em?" Chrissie asked, hopefully.
"Well, and I'll give you a break here, again, Tom. I'll go first. I do. With stipulations! You NEVER fucking pull this crap AGAIN! You were not fair to your brother! You know that. You ignored your
principles here, but you know for certain now. NO MORE!" Emily almost shouted, startling Chrissie.
"Chrissie, that's a tough one for me, I said. "If I'm honest. I know 'this' all hinges on my forgiveness. I understand that. But knowing what I know now, I'd have to say...yes. I could forgive you. Given time, and a real sense that you have learned how not to treat the people you purport to love. And I second Em's stipulations!" I sighed, glad that all the words had finally been spoken.
"Anybody need to say anything else," I asked them both. "Now, if ANYTHING crops up in the future or if ANYONE is uncomfortable, we talk about it. Together! Got it? The ONLY way 'this' is going to work, IF we even get that far, is communication. About everything. Jealousy, little niggles. No one can hold back on anything, understood?" I asserted, as strongly as I could without scaring them.
They both slowly nodded their heads, smiling.
"Good," Chrissie said, and leant in and kissed me, her hands reaching behind my head, holding me against her eager lips.
We slowly pulled apart. I saw the hurt smile on her face.
This was the beginning of our renewal, I thought.
Chrissie POV
"Em? Do you think..." Chrissie said, before I could, and left the words hanging.
I watched, open-eyed and bright, as Em leant in and kissed my brother. Her soft lips met his. I loved the way they melted together.
I had my hand on my brother's thigh, slowly rubbing my soft hands up and down 'til I made contact with his, unsurprisingly, hard cock.
I gently squeezed him. I felt his body jerk forwards.
