Talk to Me (The Winner, Part II)

She shifted a bit closer and stalled. I rolled my eyes at her and poked the mattress with my finger in an obvious request for her to get closer. Inch by inch she moved up the bed until she was sitting next to me. I reached out and took her hand, letting our combined grip rest on her leg.

"Ask." I said it softly.

"What was it like the first time? When you . . ."

"The first time I had sex? Or the first time I had sex with Nicky and Sin?" She nodded at the second question. I had to think and try to remember.

"It was emotionally very difficult. I wasn't a virgin but they were. They were also desperate to have someone to love who also loved them. It just happened, none of us planned it. It just happened." I paused. "I cried."

Cricket looked at me for that revelation. "Why?"

"Because of what I thought I was doing to them. I didn't understand how much they needed someone. I still really don't, I just accept that they need me as much as I need them. As much as they need you and you need them now too. Being together with them isn't just about sex is it?"

She shook her head. "I love them. I just can't tell anybody."

I pulled her down and tucked her face into my shoulder. "When you finally get the courage to tell that to your mother, you can tell anyone and everyone anything you want." I kissed her on the forehead. "Don't be shocked when you realize you won't feel the need to any longer."

She shifted and squirmed herself closer, burying her nose in my collar. We lay without talking until she fell asleep in my arms.

The twins woke us when they crawled in with us, Sin barely able to fit in the narrow space between me and the edge of the bed without falling off. Nicky snuggled in tight behind Cricket and kissed her on the back of her neck.

"I love you Cricket."

She stretched and yawned behind her hand before remembering I was there and that she wasn't alone with them. Sin somehow made it across stomach mountain without squashing me to kiss her on the lips.

"I love you Cricket."

I kissed her on the top of her head. "I love you Cricket."

She raised her head to look at all of us then dropped back onto my shoulder.

"I love you guys." Wiggling her face a little bit until she was comfortable again she went on. "Thank you mom."

"For what?"

"For talking to me."

I just gave her a little squeeze.

We didn't stay that way too long, the bed was too crowded with four and Sin kept having to levitate half her body in mid air. Eventually she sat up and grabbed the oil bottle, holding it up in question.

"We didn't get to it." I explained what had happened.

She helped me lift my shirt and dribbled a stream of oil on my belly before beginning to rub it in everywhere. Nicky joined her and in moments Cricket's hands were oily too as she did her part in helping to lubricate my stomach. Pretty soon they were bumping hands and giggling about basting me and needing some salt and pepper when Tom looked in through the bedroom door.

"What's so funny?"

Cricket blushed beet red and snatched her hands away. Calmly I pulled them back and put them onto my stomach again, keeping my hands on hers and forcing her to make little circles while I looked her in the eyes.

"There is nothing shameful in what we are doing. Not ever. No matter what we do or talk about, you don't ever have to feel ashamed because of it. When you react like you just did, people are convinced that what we do together is somehow wrong or bad. It's not. It never is."

"But . . ." She looked at Tom still standing in the doorway.

I used one hand to turn her face back toward me. "Do you love me?"

She nodded.

"Do you love Nicky and Sin?"

Another nod.

"Does whatever someone else thinks change how you feel about us?"

She shook her head.

"Do you think it changes how we feel about you?"

Another head shake.

"So when it comes to us loving each other, nothing else matters does it?"

She glanced at Tom again.

"Does it?" I released her completely and waited.

Tentatively she started rubbing again. "It's a big step. Bigger than I thought it was."

"Yes it is." I relaxed back against the pillows. "It also means you have to have a lot of courage to take it. You can't hold back and you can't stop halfway or you'll fall."

She kept rubbing, her mind turned inward, as she considered what I'd said.

"Do you want to stay the night? I can call your mother and tell her that you're staying over if you want me to." I asked Cricket while she dried her hands on the towel Sin gave her.

She paused for a fraction of a second then shook her head no.

"I should go. I have some things to think about anyways."

I nodded and didn't ask what those things were. Nicky looked at Sin and they both stayed silent. Cricket would tell us when, or if, she was ever ready to.

"Stay for dinner first then I'll drive you home." Tom leaned into the bedroom and held up the pizza box. "Pizza's here."

The three of them scrambled after Tom, abandoning me in the bedroom. Apparently pizza was more important than I was. I sighed, I'd been dumped for something greasy and fattening. Another sigh followed the first as I sat up on the bed, pulling my shirt down over my sticky belly, there was probably a salad for me.

Cricket didn't show up the next morning. Concerned, when noon came and went without her, I called. Her mother told me she'd left at her usual time and hadn't said anything to her about not going to her workout. I told Amelia we'd go looking and if we found her I'd call back. I could hear the worry in her voice as she said she'd call Cricket's other friends and see if she'd gone there instead of our place.

The twins and I piled into my car and we headed off on the shortest route between home and Cricket's house.

"Stop." Sin told me as she looked out the passenger side window.

We were passing by the park where they usually ran together in the mornings. They ran there because the park had a jogging track around the perimeter which was easier on the legs and feet than the road or sidewalk. Sin pointed across the grass. There was someone sitting on a bench with their back to the road.

"That's her."

"You're sure?" I wasn't sure it was. The figure on the bench was wearing a black sweatshirt and had the hood pulled up.

Nicky nodded.

"Wait," I told them once I parked and they started to get out of the car. They both looked at me. "Her mother said she left home at her usual time. That means she's probably been sitting there for hours now without anyone knowing where she is or what she's doing. Let me go talk to her and see if I can find out what's going on."

I called her name softly when I could see past the sweatshirt hood and knew it was her. I'd walked around instead of across the grass because it was wet and I didn't want to come up behind her. She looked up at my call. "Cricket? You ok?"

She put her head down again without answering. I sat next to her on the bench, leaving some space between us so she wouldn't think I was pressuring her about anything.

"We were worried when you didn't show up this morning. No one knew where you were. Everyone's looking for you."

She just shrugged and pulled her feet up onto the bench, wrapping her arms around her knees and hiding her face behind them.

"Cricket, look at me."

Cricket rolled her head enough that she could see me out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm right here." I held up my arms. "Talk to me."

She buried her face again. In moments her shoulders were shaking as she started crying quietly to herself.

I scooted over and put my arm across her shoulders. "You're ok. Whatever the problem is, we can solve it."

I saw the twins get out of the car when my arm went around Cricket. I lifted one hand to tell them to stop when they were halfway to us. Cricket felt me move and looked. Sniffing deeply she shifted in my embrace, pulling away slightly. I let her go. I wouldn't be able to hold her and trying to force her to stay would be the fastest way to ensure she'd run away from me.

Standing, she just kept looking at Nicky and Sin, switching swollen red eyes from one to the other and back again repeatedly.

"Ask." I told her.

She glanced at me then looked to the twins. She sniffed again and wiped her face with the back on one hand.

"Do you really love me? Or is this just a game you're playing with me?"

Oh Cricket, who told you that? Who would want to hurt you that way? Abruptly I knew but before I could say or do anything Sin spoke.

"I love you."

"That's what you say but how do I know it's the truth? How do I know you're not lying to me?"

"Cricket, look at Nicky."

Tears were running down his face. Nicky never cried, Sin cried for him. If he was crying now it was because she was letting him.

"I love you Cricket." Sin's voice dropped into that off-tone she used when she was speaking for Nicky.

"Yes." Nicky forced the words out rather than letting Sin say them. "I love you."

"How do I know that? Can you prove it's not a lie?"

Nicky looked at Sin then back to Cricket. He let go of Sin's hand.

"I love you Cricket." Once again, Sin let him say it on his own. He took a step toward her. Then another. And another. Sin grimaced but she held still while Nicky stepped forward yet again. Cricket saw it and her face went white. Nicky forced himself to take another step toward Cricket. I could see he didn't want to, and so could Cricket, but he did it anyway.

"Love you." His voice was strained but the words were clear. Sin's eyes squinted from the pain I knew she must be feeling yet Nicky took another slow half-step away from her and stopped. He could go no further from Sin.

"We love you." He held up his arms to Cricket. "Please love me back."

Sin's jaw muscles tensed as she clenched her teeth while balling her fists and closing her eyes. Cricket saw her do it and knew what it meant. Sin was letting Nicky say he loved her for both of them. It was a complete role reversal and there was only one reason she'd do that. It wasn't a game, it wasn't fake, it wasn't whatever lie someone had told Cricket. Nicky had stepped away from his twin sister, even though it hurt both of them intensely for him to do it, for her. And Sin let him, in spite of the pain she knew it would cause. There was a word for that, the only question was whether Cricket knew what that word was or not.

Cricket's face twisted. She gulped for air and blubbered once before sobbing loudly and dashing into Nicky's waiting arms, grabbing him and trying to haul him toward Sin. Nicky just stood there with his arms around her and held on while Sin came up behind, the visible pain on her face easing the closer she got to Nicky.

"You're a lunatic, you know that?" Cricket wiped her eyes again before she lifted her face and kissed Nicky. Done, she held out a hand to Sin. "Don't ever do that again. Ok?"

"I love you Cricket." Sin stroked Cricket's face with a finger.

"You'd better." Cricket hauled her down and kissed her. "Or I'll rat on you to mom about how often you eat cookies in bed."

Sin ran her fingers through Cricket's hair before tipping her head against Nicky's. Cricket put her arms around Nicky, laid her cheek on his chest, and closed her eyes. Yeah, Cricket knew what that word was.

Once we got back to the house I called Cricket's mother, telling her we'd found her working out alone at the park. Apparently she'd needed some personal time and had decided that doing her workout by herself was the best solution. I listened for a bit then handed the phone to Cricket.

"She wants to talk to you."

"Mom?" Cricket took the phone. "I'm fine. I just needed to think about some stuff."

She listened for a minute more, said ok, then hung up. She handed the phone back to me. "She's coming over."

"What did you expect? She's your mother and you disappeared without telling anyone anything."

Cricket looked glum.

"C'mere." I opened my arms and pulled her in. "Life is hard enough, you don't have to make it more difficult for yourself."

She nodded as if she agreed with me and sniffed lightly. The doorbell rang, Cricket's mother was here. She must have been right around the corner when I called. Nicky opened the door and the first thing Amelia saw were my arms around her daughter. She immediately frowned. Cricket sniffed and wiped her eyes before turning to face her mother.

"They love me."

"Cricket . . ."

"No. They love me."

She let me go and moved toward her mom, stopping when she was next to Nicky and Sin.

"Cricket, you don't have to do this." I spoke softly. "You don't."

"My eyes are wide open. There is no going back or stopping halfway." She spoke over her shoulder at me before turning toward Sin. "I love you."

The words were definite, the emotion heartfelt, the truth unmistakable. Cricket cupped Sin's face in her palms and kissed her.

"Cricket!" Her mother's voice rose sharply.

Sin released Cricket who looked at her mother again.

"You don't own me. I am your daughter, not your property. You can't tell me who I'm allowed to love and who I'm not."

With that she turned to Nicky.

"I love you Ni . . ." The words were cut off because Nicky wasn't as patient as Sin. Instead of waiting he scooped Cricket up and kissed her. Cricket tipped her head back and laughed as she threw her arms around his neck so she could hold on while he spun her in a circle.

Amelia's face drained of color.

"Whatever you were told, it's a lie." I motioned for her to come in and sit down.

"Tami said they were just using me. She said she knew they didn't really love me because Sin told her they didn't when she slept with Sin."

Cricket was in between the twins, all three of them intertwined with arms, legs and fingers. She lifted her and Sin's joined hands once then let them fall back into her lap again as she continued telling us what had happened.

"I said she was lying because Sin can't be away from Nicky, it hurts them to be apart. Really, really hurts them. But she said they'd told me that just to make me think it was true even though it wasn't. She said she'd had sex with Sin several times and Sin had enjoyed it. The way she said it made me believe her. I mean, she's my sister, why would she lie about something like that to me?

"It kept going around and around in my head like a hamster wheel. I was confused and angry and it felt horrible and got worse the more I thought about it. I didn't know what to do so I went to the park."

"Why didn't you say anything to me?" Amelia removed the finger she'd kept across her lips while Cricket told her tale.

"Tami said you'd told her to tell me. That way I'd hear it first-hand."

Finger back across her lips again, Amelia turned her head slightly and stared into the distance for a moment. Blinking her eyes once she returned to the conversation.

"I never talked to Tami about this. Other things but not this."

Cricket nodded her head. "I know. When Nicky walked away from Sin at the park to be with me I knew she lied. Sin was making these little noises like she was in pain and shaking the further Nicky got from her. She was sweating because it hurt so much. I could see it, you can't fake that. I know, I work out with them. I know what kind of pain and stress she can handle. She was hurting and Nicky still walked away from her. For me."

She wiped her eyes with the hand she had linked with Nicky's before shifting to lean her cheek against his shoulder. "Jerk. Don't do that again or I'll pound you. I mean it too; don't or I'll take you on. You'll go down so fast everyone'll think I'm superwoman."

Both Sin and Nicky chuckled denials at her. She snuggled deeper into his shoulder.

"Better believe it. If I can't do it in a fair fight I'll do it some other way. You have to sleep sometime and that's good enough for me. Besides, you snore loud enough everyone would be happier if I just strangled you in your sleep anyway. I'd probably get a medal or something."

"Nicky doesn't snore." Sin used her free hand to first ruffle then smooth Cricket's hair.

"How would you know, you're crashed the whole time too." Cricket squeezed Sin's hand hard enough her knuckles whitened while she rolled her eyes.

"You're worse than a vampire in the daytime. I'm stuck between a coffee grinder and the living dead after we have sex. It's no wonder I went crazy. With all that going on, who wouldn't?"

Her mother removed her finger and opened her mouth but Cricket cut her off before she could say a word.

"Yes, I sleep with both of them. Yes, all three of us are together when we have sex. No, they don't have sex with each other. Sin is still a virgin except for having sex with me."

Amelia glanced at me but I deflected her attention back to Cricket by opening my hand in that direction.

"I'm there. I know what happens when we make love. I know they don't have sex with each other, they can't. It's impossible and I don't care if you don't believe me, it's the truth."

"But what about you? What kind of future do you have with them? What about a family? Your career?"

"We'll worry about that once we get the fitness training business up and running solidly." She kissed Sin first then Nicky, licking her lips afterwards and kissing him one more time. "Maybe we'll start our own gym some day."

Her mother looked between Cricket and Nicky and back to Cricket again.

"We have a lot of things to do first. I have to finish college and get my degree. There's a triple underlined client with some special needs to take care of too. Plus, we still have to find Sin a boyfriend who won't freak out, but we will do all of that together. All three of us. That's our future. The future I'm choosing. The one with both of them in it. With me."

She paused and took a deep breath as she looked into the distance in her mind's eye.

"I'm going to name our eldest daughter Sherrin Amelia after her grandmothers." At that point Sin squealed and tackled Cricket, both of them winding up on the carpet with Sin on top.

"I'm not pregnant yet, we have lots of things to do first but someday we will. Watch for the coming announcement." Cricket kissed her.

"Winner," Sin whispered as she touched foreheads with Cricket.

"Not even a bronze." Cricket kissed her again. "I swept the podium."

Amelia started bringing Cricket over in the mornings saying she felt better if Cricket didn't travel alone any more. I knew it wasn't for that reason, she was trying to figure out Cricket's relationship with the twins and if there was something sinister about it or not.

Cricket didn't say or do anything different. She'd go off with them for her morning workout, coming back and showering after as if nothing had changed. Except they didn't linger in the bedroom afterward like they used to. On the days where the twins had clients she'd drive them in my car like before. I didn't say anything but I suspected some of those supposed clients were actually a motel room and a couple of hours of privacy rather than a paying customer.

Sin bought her a gorgeous emerald green bikini with a very gauzy pastel green sarong for her birthday. I was almost jealous of the fact that Sin gave her the concealing garment when she hadn't let me have one, but I realized that Sin was being protective. She didn't need to show Cricket off like she had me. I was her mom. Her new mom. Someone who in her eyes was beautiful and who really loved her. She'd wanted everyone to know how lucky she was that I was her mom! and not theirs. On the other hand, Cricket was her and Nicky's lover and that was only between them. Not that the sarong hid anything anyway.

The bikini was similar to the black crepe one I'd bought for Sin except for the color. When Cricket modeled it for us, I could see she still had a ways to go before she'd match Sin's slenderness, but the potential was there. Even her mother called her beautiful and I could see she meant it beyond the usual mother's love by the way she looked at the three of them afterward.