Talla's Fallen Temple Ch. 20

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"Thank you," she said.

There was nothing more to say, then. The door creaked open slightly and she disappeared out of view.

Zhair'lo was in the middle of contemplating whether that had been, on balance, a good night or a bad one, when he heard a gruff voice interrogate someone in the hallway.

"All done in there, Mistress?"

There must have been, in addition to Deirdre, an Officer in the hallway. Why else would a man that age use that mode of address?

But no, it was Deirdre's small voice that answered.

"Yes."

"Good night then, Mistress."

With his door still open a crack, he saw a sliver of the man before the pounding on the door began.

"Zhair'lo M'han?" he called out.

"Ho," he replied, wondering what this could be.

"Get dressed and gather your things."

The door was pushed open and a large, beige knapsack was hurled into the room at the foot of his bed.

"What's this about?" he asked, pulling on his shorts.

"You applied to become a Fighter, didn't you?"

"Yes ..."

"We're here to bring you to the barracks."

With that, he pushed the door open and four very large men walked into his room.

"Let's get going, kid," one of them said.

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14 Comments
xtorchxtorchabout 8 years agoAuthor
Typo

Just noticed an anonymous email sent to me a while ago (I'm usually more punctual, honest!)

"Nap," he Zhair'lo entirely from his attention.

should read:

"Nap," he >dismissed< Zhair'lo entirely from his attention.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Always excellent.

You continue to entertain with complex characters and a twisting epic plot.

Thanks!

JRT

kewlkievkewlkievover 9 years ago
Brilliant work!

In all these years of being a literotica reader,have come across a lot of stories which were dazzling to some left at first lines.

This story is amongst the top Dias holders ,erotica mixed with a very astute and well thought off background and nuances,agreeing with other comments completed this in two days such was its line play and loved each aspect of talla and zharlo life.

Apologies for such long comment but please let the story unfold faster a month or so timespan becomes too much to wait for and sometimes it becomes a requirement to revisit old chapters just to get context back.

Looking forward to get dazzled with your work furthermore...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Truly Amazing

These books are better than some of the published works I've read so far in my life and I am honestly dumbfounded at how well put together this story is. This is not at all what I would expect to find on a site like literotica. I love your works and want to ask if I could help edit your stories, I know three sets of eyes are better than two and have already seen some minor errors over the course of these books that could have been easily remedied if they'd simply been noticed. if you have any interest email me at kickbuhooki@gmail.com (before you judge me on that address, it's an account I made when I was 10 or so to sign up for flash game memberships, I started using it for junkmail a few years ago. If you email me I'll give you my actual email address, it's just a bad Idea to post that kind of thing on this kind of site).

homaridhomaridalmost 10 years ago

This has been an amazing story. Even though every page has something sexual I am more drawn in by the overarching story. This is definitely not your typical porn without plot here. I hope you keep it up.

samsayssamsaysabout 10 years ago
I Agree

I do agree that I would like to see more of Tina`s and the others stories but Don't lose track of Talla's and Zhiar'lo story. Maybe as another story!!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
fantastic!

Well, its taken me two days, but I've now read all of Talla's temple to date. Now I feel I can actually comment lol.

Its not the typical literotica story one finds, inspite of the sex, and yet I couldn't stop reading, I'm drawn in by the characters, to the extent where I'm actually emotionally invested in them. Not something that happens often, I can promise you! :)

I disagree with the comments on earlier chapters that complain about sub plots and moving away from the main characters. I love the wider perspective we get on the temple and life away from Talla and Zhair'lo. Its great to have the whole story and not feel like I've missed something because all the focus was on two people. I wish more writers would follow your example.

I'd love for your statement on writing "three more books" to finish the story to be true, I also can't see how 5 or even 30 more chapters would finish the story completely without it feeling rushed or incomplete.

Another note on the "sub plots", a few books on some of your other characters would be amazing! I'd love to know more about Shanata, Tina, Master Lyric, the other cities etc etc. Books dedicated to them would be great ;) *hint* *hint*

Anyway, apologies for such a long comment when all I really wanted to say is its fantastic! Keep it up! I eagerly await the next chapter :)

Charde

samsayssamsaysabout 10 years ago
Dark!!!

Great chapter ! Now we begin to see the effect of the temple's use of the drugs to hold back these young girls natural growth. I hope that the connection between all the different subplots will soon be revealed. Still very good!!! Chris

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
beautiful

Beautiful.

cantfightfatecantfightfateabout 10 years ago
Another great chapter but all I can wish for is

more!!

I'm a bit worried about the seal breakers without Zhair'lo. While the others may be physically capable, Zhai is the only one who isn't letting this 'talent' go to his head. He is the calm and the sense in that group of boys. What kind of nonsense will go on without him? Will they be able to retain mental stability?

If Talla creates any more seal breakers, the evidence of her impact will become clear to those searching for patterns... but she can't stop serving the men. I also don't think she can control who she connects emotionally with/who she changes.

And how far away will the Hunters take Z? I'm glad he's getting further training but I want him to be close to Talla. They only just got back together.

So many different paths... Looking forward to wherever you take us next.

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