Taming a Brat Pt. 23

*Alias's POV*

"Please just figure it out," I dropped my head on my desk, trying to hold my emotions in.

"Alias, I'm going to do my best, but this is uncharted territory," Sarah looked at me sympathetically.

"I'm sure he won't even care," I sighed, "Considering he walked away from me."

"You and I both know work contracts are a little different than just walking away," She smiled softly, "Maybe you can finish out your work here in your office?"

"I'd rather not continue any form of relationship with him," I looked at the ground, lying to myself.

"I hate seeing you like this, Star," She squeezed my hand, "Let's go grab lunch."

I wasn't hungry, but I agreed knowing I needed to come out of my office eventually. I'd been here since 4:30 a.m. after realizing I would never be able to fall asleep after everything that happened. After Kane left, I wanted to chase him, but I didn't. Even though I believed him, a part of me knew we'd never be happy together so long as Claire was in the picture. Of course, I wanted to tell him how I really felt about him, but one thing stopped me.

Until he gets rid of her, we can't be together. If it were anyone else, I might put up a better fight. But Claire? She'd taken away Ashton, and I'd be damned if I let the same thing happen twice, especially with Kane. Which now, I guess none of that even matters. I spent all night wondering how things would have played out had I just told him how I felt. I couldn't though, I knew it was only a matter of time before we do the same thing all over again.

"Alias, you have to stop thinking about it or you have to do something about it," Sarah sighed as she tried to pull me from my thoughts as we rode the elevator down the the lobby.

"I never meant for things to get this complicated," I shook my head.

"You became his submissive, wore his collar, and moved into his house..." She trailed off, "I told you things were going to get messy if you didn't figure out where you stood."

"Thanks for the words of encouragement," I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"I'm your best friend. I'm going to shoot it straight with you," She nudged me with her elbow as we walked outside.

"Am I wrong for not chasing him?" I sighed, hoping Sarah might tell me what I need to hear.

"In my opinion," She stopped dead in her tracks, narrowing her eyes in the distance. I tried following them to no avail.

"What is it?" I asked, eyebrows furrowed.

She didn't bother speaking as I finally recognized the familiar face walking through the crowd in front of us. I turned to say something, but Sarah was marching straight up to her. Before I could stop her, she had already drew back her fist and decked Claire right in the mouth. I bit my lip, holding back the laughter and shock dying to escape.

"You've got some fucking nerve," Sarah yelled over Claire, who was trying to get up from the ground.

"I suppose I deserved that," She rolled her eyes, dabbing her lip with her finger.

"Why are you even here?" Sarah scoffed. I should say something, but hell, what can I say that she isn't?

"Alias," Claire held her hands up defensively, "I just want to talk to you, please?"

"Why? You got everything you wanted!" I tried not to yell, though we had already accumulated a crowd around us.

"Alias, you're a businesswoman. Please sit down with me and talk," Claire shifted nervously, eyeing the crowd around us.

"Fuck it," I sighed, "Sarah is coming too."

"As long as she doesn't hit me again," Claire smiled nervously.

"I haven't made my mind up yet. Walk," Sarah glared at her.

We walked in an awkward, angry tension to the restaurant across the street... the one with the best chicken wraps.

"Start talking," I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Well, you're going to have a PR nightmare for that little fiasco your assistant here put on," Claire glared at Sarah.

"We'll have another one if you don't get to the point," Sarah smirked deviously. I wasn't near as violent as her, but for once, I didn't mind.

"Okay, okay," She looked worried, "Alias, none of what you saw was legitimate. I had someone text me from the lobby when you were on your way up."

"Tell me something I don't know," I rolled my eyes.

"Kane loves you," She looked like she might die saying those words, "While I'm the last person who'd want that, I've hurt him enough as it is."

"Where was that mentality the first time you saw us together?" I scoffed.

"He never chased me," Her eyes fell, "When I saw him frantically searching for you, I knew I had made yet another mistake. I wanted him back, Alias. I would have done anything to make that happen, but I never intended to hurt him in the process. I didn't know how he truly felt until last night."

"And what makes you so sure he loves me?" I pursed my lips.

"Go find him, let him tell you for himself," She smiled sadly.

"He found me last night, Claire. It's over," I rolled my eyes, "Lucky you."

"No, Kane wouldn't have walked away from you, Alias," She shook her head in disbelief, "I watched him search for you for an hour."

"Well he did," I narrowed my eyes, "Is there anything else?"

"One more thing," She gritted her teeth, straining herself to speak, "I'm sorry."

"Don't die on the table, Claire," Sarah rolled her eyes, "This is just another manipulation tactic."

"It isn't. I spent a while considering how everything is my fault. When things got bad with Ashton, I wanted to go back to the one person who could comfort me. I guess I should have never tried to win him back. I'm sorry for everything I did," She sighed, actually sounding genuine.

"You're a shitty person, Claire," I pursed my lips, "Don't expect me to forgive you."

"I don't, but we're not so different," Claire smiled, "We're just two different kinds of brats."

My blood boiled as I leaned across the table, "We are nothing alike. Your entire personality is an entitled, manipulative bitch," I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Well," She smirked, "This entitled, manipulative bitch is learning to be a better person. You have no idea how much it took for me to even show up here, much less apologize."

"I won't applaud a fish for swimming," I scoffed.

"I don't expect you to, but please go see Kane," She sighed, "I know you two love each other, and I can't help but feel like I was causing you two problems."

"Wonder where you'd get that idea," Sarah rolled her eyes, "Is there anything else?"

"Nope," Claire smiled her sly grin, "Best of luck, Alias. So long, bodyguard!"

Sarah and I didn't respond as she gathered her things and left the diner. Sarah allowed me a moment to process the conversation. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out what compelled her to come talk to me. I didn't believe half the shit she said, but I don't see what she'd gain from trying to make amends.

"I hate to interrupt your thought process, but your only excuse just dropped out of the fight," Sarah smiled.

"There's no way she meant any of that," I shook my head, "People don't change overnight."

"I never got to tell you my opinion," Sarah smiled softly.

"I'm all ears today apparently," I sighed.

"I do think you were wrong not to chase him, or at least tell him how you feel. I think he walked away only because you didn't tell him the truth. You said that he wanted you to be honest. He wanted you to say those three magic words, Alias. Instead you said you enjoyed your time together. Reverse the roles..." She looked at me compassionately, "You would have walked away too."

"Are you implying that I'm in the wrong?" I laughed sadly.

"I am saying Alias Star does not let anyone stop her from saying what she feels," Sarah laughed encouragingly, "Whether Claire meant that bullshit or not, you left Kane hanging when he tried to open up to you."

"In all fairness, he walked away and literally closed the elevator doors in my face," I frowned a little as I recalled what happened.

"You're both brats," Sarah giggled, "One of you is going to have to cave."

"I just want things to be easy, Sarah," I tried to smile.

"It's never easy when it's real," She squeezed my hand, "I know you vowed to never chase another man, I can't believe I'm saying this, but we both know Kane Rhodes is worth it."

"You believe nothing happened between them?" I looked at her questioningly.

"Alias, I believe Kane wouldn't hurt you like that. I wouldn't have told him where you were had I thought in anyway it might be true. That should mean a lot coming from me," She smiled hopefully.

"Fuck," I groaned, "What do I do?"

"You pull yourself together, plan a damn good apology speech, march right into his penthouse, and fully submit to him," She winked.

"Now?" I looked at her worriedly.

"The sooner the better," She smiled, "Go get 'em, Star."

____________________________________

I did just as Sarah said. First, of course, I went home to prepare myself and slip into some sexy underwear. Just in case... you know.

My cab was waiting out front, and I took the small time I had left to carefully consider my choice of words.

When I think about him, it's almost like a movie. A not so perfect guy turns out to be the perfect partner. He was so evolved from the first day I met him. I can't help but realize I never changed. He let down wall after wall, and yet I remained distant, refusing to let myself fall for him.

I had perfectly planned my speech, my confidence was high as we stopped in front of his building. As soon as my feet hit the sidewalk pavement, I lost all the words I had prepared on the ride over. The air was thick, and anxiety was taking over my mind as I realized it was now my turn to be vulnerable.

When the doors opened to the penthouse, it looked to be trashed and abandoned. All the lights were off, lamps were in the floor along with sofa cushions, and pictures that once hung on the wall. My heart shattered as I realized how badly he must have been hurting. I carefully checked each room, none of which he was in. He must be at the office. I started to clean up for him, hoping he'd be back soon. Okay, so maybe it was nervous cleaning disguised as a good excuse to stay here until he gets back.

I was in his bedroom when I heard his voice echo through the building. Excitement and anxiety rushed in as I rounded the corner, ready to greet him once he finished his phone call.

"Please, make yourself at home. Let me know if you need anything at all," He said.

Wait... What?

I pressed my ear to the door, a woman's voice responded, but it was too quiet for me to make out the words. Who could he have possibly brought here? Jealousy burst through me, causing all common sense to go out the window. Before I could think about it, I marched out of the bedroom, straight to the living room where they were standing.

"Who the hell are you?" I snapped at the girl standing beside Kane.

She was speechless, petrified clearly. Kane had an expression on his face of shock, yet utter amusement.

"Well? Suddenly everyone is mute?" I was about to lose it.

"Alias, this is Gloria. She works for a cleaning service," He tried not to smirk.

"Right, and you don't have to wear a uniform?" I scoffed at the girl. Kane must think I'm fucking stupid.

"Mr. Rhodes hired me privately..." She dropped her eyes to the floor, "I can wear one if necessary."

"Not that it's your business," Kane cut in, "I told her to dress comfortably."

"Oh..." I instantly felt shitty, "I'm sorry... I'm Alias."

"And she was just leaving," Kane motioned toward the elevator.

"We're going somewhere?" I tried to play clueless.

"You are," He pressed the button for me. I locked my eyes onto his in a challenging stare, crossing my arms defiantly as the elevator doors opened and closed. We stood there momentarily, the tension between us thick enough to cut with a knife.

"Um..." Gloria cleared her throat, "I'm going to start cleaning... um... way over there." She scurried off the the farthest side of the penthouse.

"My study. Now," His tone was bitter. Well, at least he didn't make me leave. Not yet, anyway.

He led the way, not bothering to slow his pace and walk with me. I could feel his uncomfortableness as we walked, and I was growing more anxious with every step. He opened the door, and I shut it behind me as he leaned on his desk. He crossed his arms, looking me up and down disapprovingly. I have to admit, he's never looked at me that way before and I hated every second of it.

"You know a no call, no show is grounds for termination?" He asked.

"You can't be serious," I scoffed, blown away he'd say that of all things.

"Rules are rules, Alias," He snapped, "You can't just do whatever you feel like doing."

"You know damn well why I didn't come in today," I narrowed my eyes.

"What happened to separating personal and professional life?" He snorted sarcastically.

"You don't have to be so bitter towards me, you know?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I do, Alias. I have to," He sighed, shaking his head.

"You don't-..."

"I do," He snapped, "Get on with telling me why you're even here."

"I wanted to talk to you-..."

"I don't feel like talking," He pursed his lips.

I could tell he was forcing himself to be angry with me, disguising his pain with rage. A defense mechanism I knew all too well. It didn't seem like words would fix the pain I caused him, so my speech was definitely out the window. I couldn't just tell him how I feel, I have to show him.

Without speaking, I dropped my head and moved my hair to the side. I unclasped my collar and let it fall into my free hand. I took a moment to appreciate it and finally understand the gravity of wearing it. I squeezed it tightly, hoping this wouldn't be the last time I saw it. I extended my arm, the beautiful silver hoop dangled from the bottom of my hand. I looked up at Kane, his expression somber and lips curled to a frown. He hesitantly reached out and took the collar from my hand. My heart broke a little as uncertainty set in.

"Is that all?" He cleared his throat, his voice cracking a little.

I shook my head no as I stood from the chair, using my foot to scoot it backwards. I took one last glimpse at him before making myself the most vulnerable I'd ever been with anyone. Confusion was all across his face as his eyebrows furrowed together.

I held his gaze as I lowered myself to my knees, kneeling before him. Dropping my head, I locked my eyes on his shiny, black dress shoes as I assumed the proper position. I didn't speak, though a million things ran through my mind. I flipped my hands over, placing my palms upward. I read somewhere that it was the ultimate submissive position, as it signals your Dom that you are completely and utterly his. Seconds of silence went by, which seemed like an eternity. Every bratty thing I wanted to say or do, I shoved down, remaining in a submissive pose.

"Alias," His tone was much softer, "What are you doing?"

I released a shaky breath as I found the words to say, "I want to submit to you... Fully."

"Look at me," His tone changed into a more demanding one.

Slowly, I brought my eyes up to meet his. Sadness filled them, desired flickered in the deepest part. He was stopping himself from what he truly wanted, but I suppose that's my fault.

"Stand up," He sighed, tearing his eyes from mine.

"No, Sir," I dropped my head back down. Fuck, so much for total submission, Alias. I couldn't stand though, I had to make him see I was serious.

"Direct disobedience doesn't go along with full submission," He scoffed, "Alias, I don't know what you think you're doing, but there's no point. I can't just be your Dom anymore."

"Be more than just my Dom," I bit my lip, keeping my head bowed.

"Alias, I can't do this with you! Why are you doing this?" His voice cracked.

My heart broke at his words. I lifted my eyes to meet his again. Damn it. I have to come right out with it.

"I love you, Kane," I whispered, fighting my own tears back.

His eyes widened, almost in disbelief. I couldn't tell if he was sad, happy, or ready to scream. I tried to read his mind through his expression, but before I could, he turned his back to me, facing his desk. He grunted loudly as he shoved everything off his desk in one motion.

"Goddamn it, Alias!" He yelled. I flinched a little, praying his anger wouldn't get the best of him. He kicked the chair behind me and began pacing, whispering curse words under his breath. I bit my lip so hard, I could taste blood. I wanted so badly to cry, to curl in a ball and wait for the storm to pass.

"Stand up," He demanded. Hesitantly, I obeyed this time. He marched up to me, my fight or flight kicking in. Before I could pick which one, he grabbed my hips, pushing me backwards and forcing me to sit on his desk. He placed his hands on either side of me, leaning his head down so we were eye level. I realized then he'd actually been crying. His eyes were bloodshot, cheeks were flushed. Fuck, I was torn between being worried and utterly turned on.

"What did you say?" He glared at me angrily.

I gulped quietly before responding, "I-.. I love you."

"You love me?" He scoffed, "Yet, two days ago you only enjoyed me?"

"I should have told you," I started to explain.

"I told you to be honest with me," He shook his head, "Why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't want to admit it to your or to myself," I held back the tears stinging my eyes, "I wanted Claire to be completely out of the picture before I-..."

"Alias, she's my ex. One way or another, she will always exist," He spat, "So why tell me now?"

"I wanted too then, but I-..."

"But you what? You thought it'd be a good idea to lie to me not once, but twice?" He yelled, "What changed?"

"I realized I'd rather put everything on the table than to never see you again," I bit my lip as a tear escaped.

"Put it all on the table then," He scoffed, "Tell me the truth for once."

"Fine," I crossed my arms, "I did fall in love with you, Kane. I want to be your submissive, your girlfriend, your everything. If you want me to walk out the door right now, tell me, and I will. But if you love me too, and you want me as badly as I want you, then you'll give me a chance to prove myself to you."

"Prove it then," He narrowed his eyes at me, his rage dissipating into hunger. I bit my lip slowly, unsure if I'd regret my next choice of words or not.

"Punish me," I asked softly. His jaw dropped slightly, clearly taken aback by my request.

"For what?" He looked confused for a moment.

"Punish me for everything, Sir," I pleaded with my eyes.

"Alias," He pursed his lip, obviously fighting an internal battle, "I can't-..."

"I consent to impact," I bit my lip with uncertainty. I wanted to try it anyway, but I hoped he wouldn't take it too far with his emotions being so heightened. I knew he needed to punish me, and hell, I felt like I deserved it.

"You know it doesn't work like that. We have to talk about it beforehand," He sighed with disappointment.

"I consent. Please, Sir. Please punish me," I sat up straight, bowing my head. He shifted his weight on each foot, debating if he would or not.

"You don't want me?" I pouted seductively.

"I want nothing more than to punish you," He growled.

"Do it then," I enticed him.

"I won't go easy on you," He narrowed his eyes, glaring at me.

"I don't want you too," I glared back at him.

"Goddamn it," He groaned before wrapping his arm around my waist and scooping me off the desk.

Before I knew what was happening, I was looking at the ground. Kane threw me over his shoulder aggressively and was out of the study making his way down the hall before I fully realized I was even being carried. The familiar rush of anxiety and excitement rushed through me as he held my legs tightly.

My feet hit the ground once we were inside the playroom. I bit back the smile desperately wanting to escape my lips as I looked around the room I hadn't gotten to spend near enough time in. Before I could enjoy any of it, Kane was already spitting off commands.