T&L 02: Rock Bottom Redemption

Part II - Rock Bottom Redemption

"Excuse me."

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping and a concerned old lady staring intently at me slouched over against the wall aching on the cold steel stairs.

"Are you ok? Which unit are you in?"

"What? Oh. Fuck. I'm waiting... I'm waiting for a... my ride."

She attempted to continue quizzing me, but I just limped down the sidewalk toward the street, pulling up the maps on my phone.

22 text messages and 16 missed calls. "Fuck her," I mumbled to myself.

I used Maps to make my way back to the club, seeing our car alone in the empty lot. I was relieved. I feared they'd just wait for me and I'd be forced to confront the situation.

Maps said 2 hours and 16 minutes, but I made it home in just under an hour and a half. Again, I was relieved that the apartment was empty as I pushed in the door. Of course, I had the keys so I guess it wouldn't have made sense for them to be there anyway. Either way, it was a relief.

When I got out of the shower my phone was again buzzing. I quickly threw some essentials in a bag, dropped my house and mail keys on the table, not even bothering to shut the door behind me. I jumped back into the car and headed toward the coast. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I was going away. Somewhere that nobody could find me.

Racing down the highway I was still numb trying to process everything. I wanted to die. I planned my suicide. I'll get a motel room, drink until I had enough courage to take the Glock I had stashed under the seat and paint the ceiling with my misery.

As I got off the highway my phone had stopped buzzing. It was dead. I pulled into a seedy looking motel and got a room. The room was dingy and smelled of smoke; I could hear a couple in the next room over screaming at the top of their lungs. Exhausted, I laid down on the bed, imagining my demise.

I woke to the sound of silence. Beautiful silence. The dust in the air danced across the single beam of sunlight that cut through the room, across my feet on the bed.

For a moment I felt a little peace, but only for a moment.

I couldn't help but think of the sights and sounds. I've never seen a pussy gush and cream like that, even in porn. His dick absolutely crushed her pussy like nothing I've ever seen. No dildo or vibrator has ever been able to make her cum like that. It was like a can of Reddi-wip exploded inside of her. That enormous belligerent dick.

I could feel my cock deceiving me as it started to fill.

"GOD DAMNIT!"

The bright afternoon sun brutalized my eyes as I burst out the door and across the parking lot to the car. I just wanted to drown myself in alcohol. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to end it all. Get beer. Drink beer. Bang! It's over.

At the gas station I grabbed the first case of beer I could reach. Busch Light. Gross, who cares, it's the means to my end. I pay, rush back to the room, pounding two beers on the way. I crack the third as I throw it in park. I didn't even pull the keys from the ignition, I just got out and swiped my card in the door stepping into the motel room.

"Fucking idiot, you forgot the gun."

I polish it off, crack another and walk about outside to my car. I pull the handle.

"Excuse me sir, my car ran out of gas and I was hoping you could spare some change."

I turned to see a girl who was obviously in a sad state of affairs. She haggard looking. Her oversized clothes were disheveled, dirty, and her dyed red hair was grown out and frizzy, barely held together in a sloppy bun. She looked like an addict who was once a pretty girl.

"I don't have any change, sorry."

Opening the door and sitting down, she stepped forward as I reached under the seat.

"Do you have any money at all? We can go somewhere private if I could just get a few dollars."

It was gross. I was gross. My entire life was gross. I hated myself and everything. A weekend getaway I'd been looking forward to for a month turned into this. Fuck caring about anything. My fingers grazed the butt of my gun, but I stopped. Fuck it. Fuck everything.

"Let's just go to my room right here."

Amber was talking a mile a minute before I even opened the door. She continued talking as I sat in the chair next to the bed and she took her place on the bed across from me.

The story she told me was tough. Mother died when she was young, she escaped from her abusive father at 16, already addicted to drugs. She lived on the streets for two years before being turned out by a brutal pimp just a few months prior. She talked about sleeping under bushes next to the railroad tracks, getting beat up by homeless men, fending off a rapist, and having to sell herself to support her habits.

I finished another beer, flicking the tab on the next one, still trying to bury my own feelings inside. I wanted to fee something else. Anything. 'What the fuck was I doing?'

I was fading in and out, trying not to listen, but her story was compelling.

After a little more than two years on the streets, she'd finally hit rock bottom and decided to fix her life up. The last few months with the pimp was her breaking point. She was 'mostly clean' and struggling to pull herself together. She had just gotten in touch with her aunt from out of state, the only family that was willing to help. She just needed money to get there.

"What in the fuck am I doing?," I mumbled to myself.

I felt the alcohol easing my tension and I began questioning myself. Suddenly, I felt a bit of clarity.

'Here I am about to fuck some whore and kill myself. Why? Because my wife pushed things too far? Is my life really that bad? Is there really no hope? I'm sitting here in front of a girl that might be half of my age and is a total fucking wreck.'

I stopped feeling bad for myself and began to feel sympathy for Amber. Her story was devastating. I pushed my beer to the side and thought, 'ok fuck this, let's not leave this world without at least trying to do something good.'

"You know what Amber. Today is your lucky day. If you want help, I'm going to help you. Let's go get some new clothes and get you home to your aunt."

The last bit of anger and self-loathing subsided.

She looked puzzled, "no I just need some money and I'll leave you alone."

I could sense her discomfort. Here I am, just another guy trying to use her body, but now I want her to get in a car with me take away any semblance of control she had of the situation.

"You have no reason to trust me. I get it, but I have to get the fuck out of here and I'm offering you a chance. Take the leap of faith. Trust me for just a moment. Let me do something nice with my miserable life for once."

She must have seen the sincerity in my eyes as she relented and agreed to come with me. I forgot about everything as we made our way back out to the car, only thinking about the horror story I just heard, though I couldn't help but question what I was doing with Amber. 'Captain fucking save a hoe' scrolled through my mind over and over again.

"Can I charge my phone?"

Amber grabbed one of the loose cables hanging from my console and plugged her phone in. She also grabbed my phone and plugged it in too.

Bzzzzzt.

Without thinking I picked it up right as it finished booting up. 38 voicemails.

'Fuck her. That fucking bitch. She took his fucking cock. She threw away 6 years of marriage and a 9-year relationship because of some kid with a big dick. I fucking hate her.' I stuffed it back into the cupholder and headed down the road to the WalMart I passed on my way into town.

I got a little bit of a glimpse of the reality of Amber's situation as we walked through the store. Everyone looked at us, mostly her, like she was a shit streak on the bathroom wall. I felt really bad for her and guilty knowing that I would be looking at her exactly the same way. Hell, I was annoyed by her presence the second I saw her when she first approached me. Any apprehension I had about the situation I was in now, melted away. I felt noble. I actually started to feel good.

"I don't know where to begin. I haven't had new clothes in forever."

"I'm going to get you to your aunt. Let's get you everything you need."

Her eyes welled up and with a sputter she threw her arms around me, sobbing on my shoulder.

"I don't deserve any of this. Nobody's ever been this nice to me."

"Amber, everyone deserves a little kindness. If you want to make it up to me, get your life together and be happy."

Emotions took over and I couldn't help but think of Leslie. I love her. I needed the distance right now, but it hurt knowing I'd never see her again. 'But what she did... what she did to me...'

I couldn't let myself finish the thought. I stepped out of Amber's embrace and wiped the tears from my eyes. She had no idea what was going on with me, just laughed as she ran her sleeve over her eyes, smearing a layer of dirt across her cheeks, "oh great, now I'm making you cry!"

We spent over an hour in the store. We bought almost everything she tried on along with underwear, socks, shoes. We got her some toiletries -- toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, feminine products, hairbrush, etc. She picked a big pink rolling suitcase to hold everything and we pushed our full cart to the checkout.

I had already gotten used to the stares, but the guy at checkout was too much. He looked at her in disgust and looked at me like I was some psycho or a pervert or something. When I paid for everything, his repugnant look finally set me off.

"You got a fucking problem, man? Got something to say?"

His eyes hit the floor as he turned away. "No sir."

"Good, I didn't think so."

My pace was fast as my anger bubbled below the surface while I pushed the cart through the parking lot.

"Tim, hey, it's ok. I'm used to it."

Again, sadness. It was now a mission to go all in. I was just going to get her some clothes and take her to the bus terminal, buy a ticket, and send her to her aunt. Fuck that. I'm going to give her some real faith in humanity.

"Are you hungry?"

I was STARVING. I hadn't eaten anything in almost 24 hours. She agreed, but noted most restaurants wouldn't let her looking the way she did, so we stopped back at the motel room for her to get cleaned up and change clothes.

Emerging from the bathroom, Amber looked like a totally different person. Her hair, now smooth and clean, was hanging almost to her shoulders as her brush ripped through it. The dirt was now gone from her face, making it a shade or two lighter and she wore clothes that actually fit her. I could tell she was pretty before, but now she looked absolutely beautiful. From gutter trash to girl next door in less than an hour.

Amber's black bra was slightly visible through the white tee that snuggly hugged her slim frame. A pair of jean shorts hung from her hips, but were loose on her narrow thighs. She was all smiles as I stared wide-eyed at her, and her big blue eyes twinkled with excitement.

"I can't believe how good I feel!"

I laughed and made a Pretty Woman reference that she didn't get, even though I tried to delicately explain it to her. At this point I was more than ready for dinner, but couldn't help think of how much better she'd look with a more natural colored hair.

"I'm hungry, but let's make a pit stop to do something about your hair. You should look your best when you show up at your aunt's place."

Who in the hell knew a haircut and dye job at a Great Clips was doing to take 2 hours? Jesus.

Though I will say, it was time well spent. She looked gorgeous. Still not a lick of makeup, but she didn't need it. She was fully transformed into a sexy coed with her new light brown hair that curled slightly at the ends. I stood as she approached me, throwing her arms around my neck and planting a big kiss on my mouth.

"You're the best!"

She hugged me and nuzzled her face into my chest.

"You're a very lucky man, she's gorgeous."

The stylist swiping my card assumed we were a couple. I really was Pretty Woman'ing this girl. I couldn't help but laugh to myself a little as we got in the car and headed to find a place to eat.

Amber said she loved Italian food, so we found a little place at a nearby plaza. We talked and laughed throughout dinner, as she opened up about her nerves imagining showing up at her aunt's place and her dreams of a better future.

"Amber, you're a beautiful young woman. You have decades to figure your life out. Stay on the right track and you'll be absolutely fine. The fact that you've already turned yourself around from an absolute rock bottom that crushes most people shows me that you can do anything."

She stared at me with her big pretty eyes, blushing as she smiled.

"This just seems so crazy to me. It's great and all, but if I'm being honest it's also a little weird. This morning I thought I was going to have to suck some guy's dick to get another $5 just to eat. And now, here I am. I feel pretty. I feel like I'm worth something... but... I just don't understand why you'd do this. You're a married man and I'm feeling like we're on a date."

Her eyes were glued to my wedding ring clanking against my glass of iced tea. I hadn't even thought about it all day. Of course, this had to look more than a little weird. A married guy at a sleezy motel goes from wanting to get a $5 blow job to saving a girl's life, showering her with kindness and gifts the likes of which she's never experienced.

"I guess you can call it fate. Our paths crossed at the absolute lowest point in my life..."

I explained everything to her. Dan and Maria, the club, my gun. I went deep, basically telling her my life story. I talked about how I met Leslie and how we fell in love. Emotions ran through me as I relived the betrayal, but it was no match for the love I had for my wife. I held back the tears. I held back my anger. I was still pissed, still wanted her to suffer, but realized that going back to her was inevitable.

"Wow Tim. You really love her. That shit is crazy though, what are you going to do?"

I didn't have a good answer. The more I thought about it, the more hurt and angrier I became. I asked our waiter for the check and the best I could come up with for Amber was, "I don't know, I'm probably going to have to figure out how to forgive her."

We sat in silence as we made our way back to the motel. Amber didn't have anywhere to stay so I offered her the room. I'd just get another one and we'd head to the bus station in the morning. I sent a quick text to my boss telling him I'd be out the next day and we went into the room.

Amber watched as I gathered my few belongings and stuffed them into my backpack. I looked at the open case of beer on the dresser, realizing my desire to self-destruct was completely gone. I just wanted to go back to normal. I wasn't sure how, or if that is going to be possible, but I knew I wanted to try.

"Tim, I don't want you to leave. You make me feel safe and I don't remember when the last time I felt safe. Stay here with me, the bed is plenty big and I know you won't do anything."

I sighed, "Ok." Paying for another shitty room seemed silly when I had a perfectly shitty room already.

We laid on the bed next to each other and flipped through the channels, settling in and watching a few sitcoms. Amber slowly moved closer, ultimately curled up into me and I put my arm around her. I started to feel butterflies in my stomach as my hand began tickling the outside of her arm. I actually started feeling close to Amber. It felt like the end of a date. A really long, really weird date.

Amber's arm extended around my stomach and she nestled her face into my chest. I could feel my dick begin to stir as she traced little circles on me with her fingers. Her hair smelled of tropical fruit and coconuts. The skin on her arm was soft and cool. I looked down at her. She looked up at me.

Our lips met. Amber moved her body up and put her arm on my shoulder, kissing me softly. She pecked and nibbled, slowly working her tongue onto my lips. Her delicate soft kisses grew slowly as I began reciprocating. The passion grew as I began probing her mouth for what seemed like minutes, then finally licking deeply.

She climbed on top of me with her hands on my chest. My cock quickly filled as she pressed herself against me. Just as my hands slid up from her hips up her shirt onto her thin waist, she pulled back.

"I want you to be my first."

I was confused. She admitted to being a prostitute. Her first?

"What do you mean?"

"I've never gone all the way. I only ever give blowjobs. I never wanted to get pregnant and honestly, all the guys just disgusted me so much I couldn't do it."

I was in shock and I had no idea what to do. I started to spiral. I felt gross. I felt guilty. I squirmed underneath her.

"Amber, you don't want some random guy being your first. Find someone you love."

"No Tim, you're not random. This has been the best day of my life. I'm going to remember it forever. I can't think of any way losing my virginity could be better than right here, right now."

She grabbed my face and kissed me deeply, eliminating any further objections. My hands returned to her hips as she began grinding into my fully engorged member. I ran my hands up her shirt, feeling her soft skin and the outline of her ribs.

She sat back and pulled her shirt over her head, her taut body looked skinny in the flickering light of the TV. She tugged and pulled up my shirt, then I sat up and pulled it over my head. I flipped her over onto her back, and laid beside her as we continued kissing. I rubbed up her side and over her bra, squeezing her tiny tits through the thick black padding.

Her hands moved down my belly to the top of my shorts and she unbuttoned them one-handed, reaching back to run her hand over my hip and into the back of my underwear. I mirrored her motion, sliding my hand into the gap in the back of her pants, down to cup her crack over her cotton panties. She pulled her hands out of my pants only long enough to unbutton her shorts, allowing my arm to plunge deeper over her ass.

She began stroking me down the front of my boxers as I pulled on her tight little handful of an ass, reaching deep to feel the wetness from behind. I pulled my hand out, then tickled down her stomach, breaking through the thin elastic barrier of her white cotton panties. I felt her soft hair between my fingers as I contacted her moist opening. I swirled my finger around, pushing her thin strands aside and making contact with her hot, wet pussy.

She shuttered and squeezed harder on my thick cock. I sat up and pulled down her bra, exposing her tiny A-cups and perfect nickel sized areolas adorned with tiny bright pink nipples. Her strokes were strong and growing faster as I leaned in, nibbling a nipple and pushing my finger into her incredibly tight hole.

Despite her being dripping wet, my finger struggled to find it's way in. Her tightness eased slightly as I broke though and began slowly sliding my finger in and out of her snug canal. We again kissed and she began clawing at the top of my boxers to pull me out. I removed my finger and wiggled out of my shorts and boxers, kicking them onto the floor.

Amber unhooked her bra and leaned back as I moved down the bed and began pulling off her shorts. They slid off with ease; she opened her legs and offered herself to me. I rubbed both hands down her thighs to the inner adductors pointing directly to her wanting womanhood. I slid my thumb into the large dip created by her straining groin muscles and grazed both thumbs under the thin cotton.

My hands moved in closer, thumbs pushing through the fray and onto her drenched pussy. As I watched my thumbs moving under the thin cotton, working her opening and clit at the same time, Amber's stomach trembled as she gasped between long pauses in her breathing. I kept contact as my fingers stretched to the top of her panties, digging over the band and pulling them down.