Tango on the Razor's Edge Ch. 15

The following day I dropped the girls off at early-morning practice and got to work a few minutes late. I found Helen, from human resources, in my office writing a note on a scrap of paper.

"I was just looking for you," she said.

"I'm sorry. I'm running a few minutes late."

She stuffed the paper in her pocket and said, "The auditor wants to speak with you."

"Now?"

"Yeah, he got here earlier than I expected."

I put my stuff down and tried to compose myself. Dealing with conflict had never been my strong suit, so I psyched up. For this particular exchange, I needed to be Nick rather than Nicki.

Helen tipped her head in the direction of the conference room and said, "He's waiting."

I took a deep breath. "Of course."

As she led me across the floor, she asked, "Did you hear about the party tonight?"

"No. I don't think so."

"It's kind of a last-minute thing. Once the auditor finishes, there's an open bar for everyone plus one at The Rusty Saw."

"What are we celebrating?"

"Are you kidding?"

I shook my head.

"The sale. Once the auditor approves the numbers, the sale will be final."

"Oh, yes, of course."

She led me upstairs to the executive conference room, then directed me to a seat across the African Lacewood table from Mr. Carlson. "This is Nick Harwood, Mr. Carlson," she announced.

Mr. Carlson stood and shook my hand and said, "Hi Nick. You can call me Walter." Helen craned her neck for a double-take at the sound of Mr. Carlson's first name. Walter pointed to the chair across the table and continued, "Please have a seat." Helen stepped through the doorway, took a third look, then closed the heavy door. Once the room was secure, Walter said, "I'm sorry about last night, but my wife has her rules, and we were bending them pretty hard."

I waved him off. "It's alright. I'm getting used to it."

He nodded thoughtfully, then said, "I thought we had more time."

I smiled. "We did the best we could with what we had."

With that said, he went straight to business. "You know that Dan is selling the company, right?"

I replied with a curt nod. I knew what we were there to discuss, but I wanted him to spell it out for me anyway.

He continued, "The sale is contingent on some of the key players committing to stay with the company for two years after the sale. I'm checking to make sure we've got everyone we need, and you're the last one on my list."

I think he expected me to say something, but I held my peace.

"To be frank, I'm a little concerned about the relationship you have with some of the other principals. How long has Dan been with your wife?"

"You figured out that Holly's my wife?"

"It was kind of hard to miss. Does it bother you when she's with him?"

"Yeah, well, I don't have much say in the matter."

He tapped his pen on a piece of paper. "I see. And you're going to stay with the company after the sale?"

I paused for a long moment before I replied, "No. I've got another job lined up."

His pen had come to rest on the paper.

"I was going to give notice next week."

"Really? Does Holly know?"

"No. She'd tell Dan if she knew, and like I said, I haven't given notice yet."

After a long think, he said, "That changes things."

"Are you going to kill the deal?" I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Not directly, but I'm probably going to adjust our offer, and that may affect the deal."

After that, our conversation turned very technical. Carlson asked about all the machinery on the floor and the maintenance schedules and uptime for each. He quizzed me about Raul and the rest of my staff, but he was most interested in the big press at Station 8. "There aren't many like it left."

"Yeah, that's why we put so much effort into keeping it running."

"Do you think Raul can handle it without you?"

"Raul's a good guy."

"That isn't what I asked."

"I know, but he's a friend of mine."

Walter nodded. "I see." We sat in silence for several moments before he continued, "Dan's bound to leave once the sale's complete. He'll be gone, and I'm sure you could negotiate a healthy raise. Would you consider staying then?"

I shook my head. "Thanks, but working with the people who already know is humiliating enough. I can't imagine what it will be like once everyone knows."

He thoughtfully nodded once again. "I can see how that would be a problem." He considered the situation, then asked, "Are you humiliated now?"

I exhaled in a long, slow breath. "Come on. Think about it. Last night you fucked me while my wife was next to me, being fucked by my boss. She'd set the whole thing up and then watched me submit to you. Now you and I are here, where I work, talking about it. Does it get any more humiliating than that?"

Walter leaned back in his chair and replied, "Hmmm, it seemed to me you were enjoying yourself last night."

"I suppose, right up until the end when it became clear that I was disposable."

Mr. Carlson looked me in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry about that. I wish I'd handled it differently."

"Yeah, well, like I said, it doesn't matter now."

Neither of us said anything for a few moments, then Walter asked, "What do you want me to tell Dan?"

"Do you have to tell him anything?"

"I'm going to have to change the terms of the deal. Dan's going to want to know why."

Before I could respond, his expression changed, and he said, "Oh, no, I've got it. Leave it to me."

"What are you going to say?"

He chuckled to himself, then replied, "If anyone asks, just say you didn't tell me anything."

***

An hour or so after lunch, Holly knocked on the wall of my cubicle. "Can I interrupt?"

Raul and I looked up from what we were doing, and I replied, "We're in the middle of something. Can I get back to you in a few minutes?"

"It's important." She looked at Raul and said, "Why don't you take a bathroom break."

Raul looked back to me and then replied to her, "Sure, I guess." He folded up his paperwork and squeezed past her on his way out of my office.

Once he was out of earshot, she asked, "What did you say to Carlson?"

"Nothing, why?" I lied.

"He just chopped two million off the offer."

"Two million dollars?"

"Yes, of course, dollars! What the hell did you say to him?"

I shook my head and lied again, "Nothing. What did he say I said?"

She looked at me like she knew I was up to something. "He said that you were in love with Dan and that you're going to follow him wherever he goes." She let a long pause hang while she waited for me to say something, but words failed me. She crossed her arms and asked, "Why would he say that?"

"Walter is very clever," I replied, intending to compliment his negotiating skills, but Holly caught another drift.

"Walter?"

"I'm sorry. I meant Mr. Carlson."

Holly's disbelief intensified. "What's going on?"

I shook my head. "You have a two-year affair with my boss, pimp me out to the auditor, and then expect me to tell you what's going on?"

We stared at each other in silence for a few moments before she said, "You always knew what was going on."

Rather than argue about what I knew when, I asked, "Is Dan still going through with the deal?"

Holly ignored me by asking her own question: "You're leaving me, aren't you?"

"Are you serious?"

"Just answer the question."

"How could I possibly leave you? You're already gone."

"No, Baby. I'm standing right here."

One of the girls in my crew glanced into my cubicle as she hastily walked past; so, I lowered my voice. "You're here now, but you won't be with me tonight."

Holly took my hand and said, "Oh, Baby, don't be like that." She squeezed my fingers and went on, "You know the deal. I may not be with you all the time, but you're still mine."

"Oh, come off it. You're not here because you're worried about our marriage. You're here because you're worried that Dan isn't pocketing enough cash."

Holly's acting had improved because she looked genuinely offended. "Is that really what you think?"

"Of course it is. You wouldn't be down here talking to me if Dan was getting everything he wanted." Before she could reply, I continued, "When was the last time you and I spoke about anything that didn't involve Dan?"

She pulled me close and said, "I can remember a morning only a day ago..."

I interrupted by asking, "You mean when you came home early to make sure I'd be ready for a date with Dan's auditor?"

She coyly stroked my finger. "That wasn't all we talked about."

"You're right. We also talked about how humiliated I feel."

Holly shook her head. "Come on, Baby, lighten up. You know I only do it because you like it."

"You think I like being left alone while you're off with Dan?"

In a silky smooth voice, she answered, "I happen to know it gets you off."

"You're cheating with Dan because you think it gets me off?"

"Of course, Baby. Why else would I do it?"

I extracted my hands from her grasp and said, "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Yeah, Baby, that's why we did this."

"And you think I want to live like this, with a wife who's never home and a whole town that either laughs at me or pities me?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have done it otherwise."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I tried to do what you asked. I played it your way for weeks, but look where it's gotten me. Each day is more painful than the last." I was almost shaking as I concluded, "This arrangement simply won't work."

She smiled with a skepticism that was strangely erotic. "It seemed to be working for us last night."

"It may have been working for you and Dan, but it wasn't working for me."

She reached across the divide between us to reacquire my hands. "Oh, Baby, don't be like that. We were all having a good time."

I pulled my hands free. "Why do you pretend that you still give a shit about me? We both know it's over."

I must have let my voice get away from me because Holly turned her head to look over the top of the cubicle walls. Just about everyone on the floor looking at us. She giggled in mock embarrassment and said, "Maybe we should finish this conversation another time."

I looked over the short wall to see the faces of my crew. Most looked like conscripted eavesdroppers caught in the act. A few were merely confused, but Raul's Jamaican assistant smiled in amusement.

I didn't know how much they'd heard, but it was undoubtedly too much. I wondered how any of them could respect me after this, but rather than dwell on it, I said, "Yeah, I've got to get back to work." I grabbed my empty coffee cup and squeezed past Holly to search for Raul. Rather than getting anything productive done, I spent the rest of the afternoon avoiding the concerned looks that followed me across the floor.

***

Dan's exit party was held at a rustic barn converted into an event room. A large bar spanned one wall, and a kitchen filled what had once been the stables. Massive wooden tables with picnic-bench seats were spread across the floor, and a wagon-wheel chandelier hung from the ceiling. Bales of hay, brittle horse tack, and antique farm implements decorated the walls. Country western songs from the 1970's played loudly.

Dan, Holly, Mr. Carlson, and most department heads sat at the table nearest the bar. The marketing, sales, and HR departments sat together at tables in the middle of the room. My crew and I sat at the tables near the large barn door. From my side of the room, it appeared that Dan was at his jocular best. The small audience at his table laughed like they were listening to a professional comedian. Holly sat next to him, hanging on his every word.

Juanita sat between Raul and me. Her turquoise jewelry and cotton dress made her look like an Indian counterpoint to the cowboy artifacts surrounding us. Despite her silver hair and leathered skin, she still carried herself like she had as a young beauty. Her posture was perfect, and she smiled with a calm reserve that left me wondering what she knew that I didn't. The machine operators with me the longest and their spouses rounded out our table.

Juanita asked, "Is that Holly's new bull?" loudly enough to be heard over the music and the crowd. She was staring off in the direction of the head table, so I wasn't sure if she was speaking to her husband or to me. She might have been asking a rhetorical question for the benefit of the plus-ones at the table who might not know the office's intrigues.

I looked to Raul, hoping he would answer, but he played ignorant. The rest of the table pretended they hadn't heard anything at all. So I filled the replyless-vacuum with a noncommittal, "Evidently."

Juanita laughed. "Evidently? I'd say the evidence is pretty strong."

Rather than fumble a second response, I took a heavy draft from my beer.

Juanita refilled my glass from the pitcher, saying, "Aren't you the good little Boy Scout, standing by your wife's side for better or for worse while she plays the field."

She had a reputation for being blunt, but I'd forgotten how insensitive she could be. I nodded and asked, "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?" She responded with nothing more than a sly smile, so I pressed for more: "You knew it from the beginning, before you'd even set us up on our first date."

She sipped at her beer. "Well, not exactly, but something like this was bound to happen."

"I thought we were friends. Why would you put me in a situation like this?"

Her knowing smile intensified. "Oh, come on, Nick. You know better than that. Guys like you and Raul can't resist women like Holly and me." She leaned in so that her face was an inch from mine and said, "We excite you."

At that, Raul stood up, pulled at her hand. "Come on, Baby, let's dance."

Juanita scanned the room. There was no one else dancing, and it wasn't obvious where there was enough space for them to kick up their heels even if she wanted to. She pulled her husband back down to his seat. "In a minute, Sweetie. I'm talking to Nick."

Raul looked her dead in the eyes. "Please don't do this."

She laughed, "Oh, Sweetie, don't worry. We're all friends here." Then, she turned to me and asked, "Isn't that right, Nick?" Without waiting for a reply, she commanded, "Tell me about Holly's new bull."

Without thinking about it, I replied, "I suppose he was once her bull, but now they're living together. So, I don't know what that makes him."

Juanita laughed. "You're still married, right?"

"Well, technically..."

"And you still mind her daughters, right?"

"Yeah, I take care of the girls."

"I'd say that makes him your bull."

"He won't be tomorrow."

Juanita laughed again. "What's happening tomorrow?"

"I'm moving to Chicago tomorrow." Until that moment, I hadn't picked a date for the move. Now it was set.

"What?" Raul interrupted.

"I've got a new job lined up and a place to live. Everything is set. I'm leaving tomorrow." The room wouldn't be available until the first of the month, but that was a technicality I could work around.

"When were you going to tell me?" asked Raul, more than a little bit offended.

Juanita looked back and forth between us. Her over-confident smile had been replaced by that confused half-smile that people get when they're not quite following a conversation.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you. I didn't want it to get back to Dan or Holly."

"What are we going to do?" Raul's apprehension was palpable.

I smiled reassuringly. "You'll be fine."

"No, but no..." he stammered.

Juanita clutched my hand, "What about Holly?"

"What?"

"What about Holly? She's your wife, remember?"

"She's got Dan now, remember?"

"No, he's just a bull."

"He's got the money she wants, the apartment, the jewelry, everything. She doesn't need me anymore."

"Does she know?"

"Of course, and she's fine with it."

"Did she say that?"

"Well, not in so many words, but look at her. She's never been happier." Holly had her arm wrapped around Dan's as he delivered the punchline of a joke. She smiled like she was posing for the cover of Vogue and then basked in the envious gaze of the women who coveted her over-abundance of men and money. Her head leaned back, exposing her slender throat, which broke into waves of feminine laughter at a joke that the rest of us couldn't hear. All the while, her eyes held tightly onto Dan's. There was no denying she was happy.

Juanita shook her head. "She doesn't know. You need to tell her."

I dismissed her with a shake of my head. "She knows, but she doesn't care. She doesn't give a shit about anything except Dan and his money."

Juanita got up and headed off in Holly's direction like a woman on a mission. She'd only gotten a few yards when Dan stood up and rattled a short metal rod around the inside of a steel triangle that cowboy chefs had once used to call wranglers to supper. He waited for the room to become sufficiently subdued before introducing Mr. Carlson, welcoming all the spouses, and thanking Holly for organizing the event on short notice. He told a couple groaner jokes that garnered polite laughter, and then, once the laughter died down, he turned serious. "I think I was about ten when my father started this company. In those early years, he worked day and night to make a go of it. Even on the few occasions he sat down with me, he would talk of work and the fancy cars and the magnificent houses that we were going to have."

"It drove my mother crazy. She'd yell about how he was never home, and he'd insist he was doing it all for us. He'd tell her of his dream of building the company up and then selling it so he could take her off to travel the world. But it didn't work out that way. There was always one more piece that needed to fall into place before he could let the company go. The years went by, and the sale never materialized. On the day he died, he held my hand and made me promise that I wouldn't make the mistake that he had made."

The audience broke into a collective sigh, which made my stomach turn. I turned to Juanita and Raul, who had returned to their seats, and said, "What a pile of crap," expecting them to chime in. Rather than harmonize with my bitterness, they responded with blank stares that made me feel like a dick. "Come on, you both know that he was halfway across the country when his dad died, and his mom had to beg him to come home for the funeral."

Raul was uncertain whether this was one of those situations where it was unseemly to speak ill of the dead. Juanita caustically grinned and said, "You're missing the point. It's a much better story the way he tells it."

Once again, Dan's worldview was prevailing over mine, and he hadn't even gotten to his point. He raised his glass and said, "Here's to my father, the man who built this company up from nothing." The workforce broke into applause with a smattering of cheers. Dan continued by saying, "And now that I've divested myself of his company, it's time for me to live the dream that he failed to realize. It's time for me to embark on a worldwide adventure with the woman I love." He looked down at Holly, who was seated at his side, reached out his hand, and asked, "What do you say, Holly?" He took her hand in his and lifted it until she was standing beside him and asked, "Will you join me on my grand tour of the world?"

Holly reacted with the mini self-applause and joyous laughter of a winner of a TV game show. She stood up, wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him tightly. Those who didn't realize what was going on cheered. The rest of the crowd murmured in dismay.

Raul asked, "What the fuck is happening?" while Juanita grinned.

Dan rang the triangle again to bring down the ruckus so we could hear Holly's reply. With her arms still wrapped around him, she said, "I thought you'd never ask," which elicited another mixed response from the crowd, many of whom were looking back to gauge my reaction.