Tanner's Journey

Believe it or not, there were even some things about Tanner that Ken found absolutely adorable. Much like a dog, Tanner loved getting praise. When his mate gave him adulation he would swell with pride. If he was in a form with a tail, it would wag. Ken had to resist the urge to pet him and call him a good boy whenever it happened.

The more he knew Tanner, the more he loved him, but he didn't want to say it because he still wasn't sure if that feeling was reciprocated.

Tanner clearly enjoyed being around him, hunting with him, and fooling around with him, but there didn't seem to be any emotional connection, at least none Ken could sense. It was almost like Tanner saw them as friends with benefits, he liked him for companionship and sex, but there was nothing romantic, nothing serious.

That hurt.

One morning, Ken resolved that after dinner, he and Tanner would talk about it. They were mates. They were in for the long haul, and he wanted to give his virginity to someone who truly loved him.

In the meantime, the two of them were on the prowl, looking for what they would eat that evening. The grasslands seemed barren, like all the prey was hiding. Ken was starting to think they'd have to eat plants until he heard Tanner say something.

"Holy shit, look at that!"

Ken looked off in the distance and saw a giant piece of meat just sitting in a clearing. From so far away, he couldn't smell what kind of animal it was, but he knew that it was dead, and still fresh.

"Tanner, why would that be there? That's really suspicious."

"Come on, cub. If it's a trap I'll be able to handle it. And if it was set up by a human hunter I'll scare them right off." He transformed into a hybrid.

He wanted to stop his mate, tell him that they were on a nature reserve and hunting would be illegal anyway, but by then the lycan had run off.

Ken sighed. Tanner wasn't the best at thinking ahead, but he really was good at thinking on his feet. The lycan was right, he'd probably be able to handle whatever was coming.

That meant that he needed to play the support role and watch his back. He scanned the area and looked for threats.

The problem was that the more he thought about the situation, the more wrong it seemed. The time and energy it would have taken to drag a carcass out to the wilderness seemed too much for a hunter, even someone hunting illegally. Besides, most of the big and small game wouldn't eat meat like that.

He thought about it some more. This would have to be a trap for a carnivore, but why?

Then it hit him. New Mexico was filled with bobcats, which were protected by the law.

They were dealing with poachers. These people were after animal furs.

Ken desperately looked around and saw a glint of metal in the distance. This was a trap. Tanner was going to be sniped!

Without thinking, Ken transformed fully into a tiger to get all the speed he had. He sprinted at his mate, who was leaning over the meat, and cried out.

"TANNER, NO!"

He made it to the lycan, and before he could act, before he could think, a sound seemed to shake the whole world.

BANG!!

Pain exploded in his shoulder and Ken crumpled to the ground.

The world got fuzzy. The jadian wasn't able to move and was just barely cognizant of what was happening around him.

But he knew enough to be able to tell that he was being carried away. Tanner had saved him.

Through the pain that thought made Ken want to smile. Tanner really did love him, then.

For the longest time he fluctuated between total black and foggy gray. Eventually, after what felt like days, Ken felt better, good enough to wake up.

He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the face of his love. Normally he would have been happy about that, but now Tanner looked furious, the most angry Ken had ever seen him.

The lycan roared.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"

Ken blinked a few times, still groggy and confused. He tried to sit up, but Tanner pushed him right back down.

"YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!!"

The tiger shook his head.

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"What did I tell you? I worry about myself and you worry about yourself! You almost died out there!"

Now he was awake. There was no way, no fucking way that Tanner was going after Ken for saving his life.

"You're joking, right? You're the one who walked right into a trap. Without me, you would have been the one who got shot!"

"Yeah, and it would have been my own damn fault. I would have learned my lesson. I would have handled it. Don't forget that I'm stronger than you. I can heal faster, too! You risked your life out there for no reason!"

"You're the real idiot if you think that was meaningless."

"What reason was that supposed to have?"

"I DID IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!!"

Ken didn't want to hide it, he didn't care anymore. He had gotten shot for Tanner. His feelings were already out in the open.

Tanner sat back and folded his arms.

"You know, a long time ago, I promised myself that I'd never use that word."

That was not a sentence Ken was expecting.

"Why?"

"Because it doesn't mean anything. You can like being around a person, but love is just a label people put on things. People act like it makes their lives richer, but that's bullshit. There's just comradery or desire. Love is a lie."

Ken felt like he just got shot again. Did Tanner really believe that? He was already pretty closed off as a person, but was it really possible that nobody had ever loved him? That he had never loved anyone else?

"That's sociopath shit, Tanner."

"No it's not. What is it about love that makes a person better than anyone else? It's just used as a crutch. You can't make it yourself, so you rely on others. Love is for people who need help just to survive. I've never had that. I've lived my life with nothing."

The jadian could see that his mate was starting to get genuinely upset.

"You think I would have gotten exiled from my pack if any of them loved me? I got to the top all by myself. I didn't need anybody else. But then a bunch of people used their love as a reason to take everything from me. Yeah, I've done some bad things, but I have to care about myself because nobody else will!"

Tanner's eyes were getting shiny. Ken was starting to think the lycan had never actually said these things out loud before.

"So get off your high horse. Love has taken away everything I treasure and worked so hard to get. I'm not letting it take away my mate, too."

Ken carefully sat up and looked his love in the eye.

"Tanner, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were so lonely your whole life. But it doesn't have to be like that anymore. I love you."

"You're just saying that because you're imprinted on me."

"No, I'm not. I wouldn't have run out to save you if I just liked you for sex. You asked what love means, this is what it means. Love is putting another person's needs before your own. Love is doing irrational things to protect someone."

"That's insanity!"

"You're one to talk, you did the same thing!"

Now it was Tanner who looked completely floored.

"If you really just care about yourself, why did you put yourself in more danger to save me? You could have ran away and left me to deal with the consequences of my actions. I would have done what I could to handle it, but that wasn't good enough for you. Why do you think that is?"

Ken didn't wait for an answer.

"Tanner, I love you, and I promise I'm not lying. But I need to know how you feel about me. You risked getting shot for me. Can you really look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me? That I'm just a fuck buddy to you?"

In the light, he could see the shine of a tear on Tanner's cheek.

"I...I can't answer that, Ken."

The jadian reached out and held both of his mate's hands.

"Please. It doesn't have to be you against the world anymore. If you let me in, I swear on my life that I'll never abandon you. I love you."

More tears fell from the lycan.

"I never...I never dared to even hope for somebody to love me."

Ken kissed him.

"It's okay. I'm in love with you because I want to be."

They were so close that their noses were touching.

Tanner took a deep breath and spoke hesitantly.

"Then...I think I'm in love with you too, Ken."

They kissed again, and now there was a spark there hadn't been before.

"But I need to tell you what you're getting into by loving me. I've been so selfish, such a bastard. I don't know if I deserve to be loved at this point."

"I think I'll be the judge of that." Ken sat back. "Tell me everything. I've got nothing but time out here."

After a long pause, Tanner threw a log into the fire before starting his story.

*****

It took a while, but Tanner told the cub everything, and he didn't even try to make himself look better. It was all brutally, painfully honest. He was disgusted with himself by the end of it.

He was able to understand now why that Samuel risked getting banished. He understood why that human fought him, even though he was scared for his life.

He understood why he stayed to help Ken and carry him to safety.

There was a long silence when the story was finished. Tanner was waiting for the worst, for Ken to take everything back and leave him forever.

"Tanner, I don't know who you were, but I know who you are now. Whether you've changed or are still that man doesn't matter. We'll work together to move forward."

The lycan felt emotion well up inside of him again.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

Relieved, Tanner kissed his mate. There was another pause before the cub spoke.

"How long have I been out?"

He shrugged. "Maybe twenty-four hours. Things were bad at first, but it got better after I stopped the bleeding. The bullet didn't hit anything important, and it passed all the way through. Still, you're lucky your kind can heal fast like mine can."

Ken looked at his bandaged shoulder.

"You did a pretty good job taking care of this. I'm impressed."

Tanner smiled. "Thanks. One of the only lessons I remember from my childhood is how if you're up against a human with a gun, run away. You'll lose if you try to fight. That's why I was taught how to dress that kind of wound."

The jadian moved around his arm a bit.

"There's a little pain, but nothing I can't deal with. I'm good for what I want us to do tonight."

The alpha froze. He knew what the cub meant when he said that.

"Are you sure about this?"

Ken smiled.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life. Get things ready. I'm gonna wash up real quick."

The tiger got up and left for the river, leaving the lycan sitting there reeling. But he shot to his feet a moment later.

The sun had set by then, so Tanner added more logs to the fire, getting a good blaze going. They needed its light and warmth for what was about to happen.

He stripped their bed and took off all his clothes. He couldn't think of anything else to do, so he laid down on the bed and waited.

Tanner had never been so excited for sex before. Obviously he hadn't had full-on intercourse in half a year, but beyond that he was going to do it with someone he loved. This wasn't just scratching an itch, this was something more.

Ken returned a few minutes later, fully nude save his bandages. He got down and snuggled up to his mate.

"You can fuck me as gently or as roughly and you want, Tanner. You're the alpha, and I trust you."

Tanner nodded and began kissing his mate. His lust was overpowering, but he promised himself that he would stay in control of his urges. He was never going to be able to do their first time over.

As he had done many times before, he rimmed the young man's hole, but he also sucked Ken's cock for the first time. He was about six inches long and circumcised. His dick tasted just as good as it looked.

When he got back up to kiss Ken some more he found himself saying stuff that almost seemed out of character for him. He called his mate "baby" and told him that he loved him. It felt different. It felt good.

"I wanna start now, Ken."

The tiger nodded and tried to turn over, but Tanner stopped him.

"No need for that, cub. I want to see your face."

He pushed his mate's legs back and started fingering his hole.

"We don't really have any lube, so I'll have to use spit."

"That's fine."

Tanner got his finger wet and began working the boy's hole, readying him. He put the fingers of his other hand in his love's mouth.

"Get these wet, baby."

After a few minutes of fingering, Ken's hole started opening up. Tanner ate him out with gusto. It tasted so good when it was open.

Once they were both as ready as they'd ever be, Tanner looked his mate in the eye.

"I love you, Ken."

"I love you too, Tanner."

He began pushing and the cub's hole tightened a bit.

The bullet shaped head of Tanner's cock began to insert itself into Ken. He was worried, the boy was really tight.

"Does this hurt?"

"Yeah, but about as much as I expected. I'm getting used to it."

Gently, carefully, Tanner slid all eight of his inches inside Ken over several minutes. He kissed his mate when he was done.

"You did it, baby."

"I'm glad, Tanner. Now please start moving."

The alpha nodded and began forming a rhythm. He kept it slow and loving, making the cub feel every inch. His hole kept loosening until Tanner could feel it completely relax. He grinned.

"Now your ass pussy is ready for the real deal."

He went faster, grinding his cock against Ken's prostate. Ken began moaning, sighing.

"You like this, cub?"

"Yes! Please, don't stop!"

Tanner sped up, getting rougher and faster until he was fucking his mate on all cylinders. He got down low to kiss his mate and growl into his mouth.

"Who's your alpha?"

"You are, Tanner. Forever."

He continued hammering into the boy until he felt Ken come, release a huge load on his chest.

"Good cub. Come for your alpha."

He fucked him even harder. Their flesh slapped together and even in the cold night air their bodies glistened with sweat. After several minutes of bliss Tanner could feel his own orgasm approach.

"I could pull out or I could shoot inside you, baby. Your choice."

"I need you to breed me! I want your seed so bad!"

About a minute later he felt it happen. His cock swelled, then exploded in orgasm, bar none the greatest Tanner had ever experienced. He held Ken tightly and roared. He was in tears when it was finished. After he climbed down from the high the lycan looked at his mate.

"You're the best I've ever had, baby. I love you." He started to pull out, but Ken stopped him.

"Leave it in, please. Just for a little bit longer."

Tanner complied and they both relaxed for a while. The wolf could smell their two scents mix together and become colored by the other. They were joined now in a way that could never be broken. It made him so happy.

After maybe half an hour Tanner removed himself from Ken and kissed him.

"You wanna go to sleep?"

The cub nodded.

The two mates spooned that night, sharing warmth. Tanner couldn't point to any other time in his life where he felt more whole, more at peace.

*****

It was a night around a month later and Ken and Tanner had just finished making love. As always, it was wonderful. Tanner held him and they both wallowed in the afterglow.

"You know, I don't think I ever told you why I was so cold to you in the beginning, Ken."

The jadian raised his eyebrow.

"I sort of thought you were just that kind of person, to be honest."

The lycan shrugged. "Probably, but more than that I didn't want to look at you because you reminded me so much of Tim."

Ken's eyebrow crept higher.

"You mean that omega?"

Tanner nodded.

"I didn't think I could ever live down what had happened, and later I thought I would never be able to live with myself for what I had done. I still think about it sometimes."

The tiger nuzzled his mate's neck.

"The past is gone, Tanner. You've moved forward and I'm sure Tim has, too. It's okay to let things go."

"I don't know if I want to."

The tiger shifter tilted his head.

"Why not?"

Tanner smiled.

"If I hadn't been banished I would still be up north right now. I never would have come here, and I never would have met you."

Ken kissed his mate.

"See, babe? Everything happens for a reason."

The wolf nodded, though he still looked pensive.

"I just don't know if I can ever make up for those actions."

"Tanner, I think you're a good person now, even if you weren't back then."

"But how can you be so sure about that?"

Ken looked his love right in the eye.

"Because nobody too far gone would be able to love me the way you do, Tanner."

Tanner smiled, weakly this time.

"This is all because of you, baby. I wouldn't be where I am today without you."

Ken kissed Tanner again.

"It's my pleasure."

About a year ago, Ken would never have anticipated that the love of his life would be a person like Tanner, but now he wouldn't have had it any other way.

Tanner had his problems, but so did Ken. What mattered was that they were there for each other, and their love would help them both grow.

Their journey was far from over, but Tanner and Ken would take it all on.

Together.