Tau Ceti

He had agreed to join the mission, even under these conditions, because it offered a better alternative than staying on earth. The cryosleep spots were limited and only the best and brightest were even considered. The colony would be a genetic masterpiece. His genetic makeup and limited educational background had left him far outside the qualifications for those slots, but this position had seemed like a part of the mission, like a chance. He served as the caretaker and pilot, watching over the ship and its frozen passengers as it escaped earth to Tau Ceti.

Despite being alone, he never felt lonely. He had been a loner most of his young life, so it felt normal to him. The computer system provided any reading material, movies, television shows, pornography, games or other entertainment that he desired. The vast system of multiply redundant solid-state drives that filled most of the ship stored the whole of human knowledge. The AI provided nearly perfect interaction. Chess, checkers, gin, bridge, RPG's, anything he ever wanted to play; all scaled to challenge but not discourage him. It could even create plays and musical performances based on the style and ability of artists from the past.

The AI provided multiple personae for him to interact with. The programmers and psychologists had designed a few specifically for him, but over time the AI developed new ones as needed. His initial briefing on the AI contained a gentle indication from the psychology team that one of the personae, or more, might become a lover. The computer interacted with the plethora of sex toys supplied and the pornography to simulate sex.

He had seen her on the first day as they had walked him through the ship. The techs had been quiet. He suspected some felt jealous of him. Others likely believed they were sending him into exile from all humanity, or worse, sending him to his death. His first view of her came as they passed through the cryosleep chamber. Her lovely naked body carefully suspended in the liquid nitrogen that ensured her preservation for the next 75 years. She would emerge not a day older than she had entered. The passengers were all naked. Objectively, all the women were beautiful. He could even appreciate the beauty of the men. But somehow, she caught his eye.

He resisted, of course, at first. The AI and the interactive porn the AI could create satisfied him, mostly. During the first year he would, occasionally, go sneak a peek at her. His duties included monitoring the cryo-chamber. He peeked at others too, but she was the one.

He finally decided it didn't matter. He still remembered the first time he masturbated to her. He saw her again and stood there drinking in her perfect naked form. His passion rising, he retreated to his bunk. He imagined her there with him. Their arms wrapped around each other. He pretended their long, slow kisses gave way to him taking her. He imagined her on her back and the sensation of her legs wrapping around him as he slid his cock into her pussy. He simulated slowly fucking her as he imagined her professing her love and him his. He came hard that first time. His 23-year-old body and libido were strong and virile.

He tried to learn her name, but the AI never let him. Perhaps the programmers foresaw this possibility, perhaps the AI understood him in ways he did not. So, he called her Mary. For the first couple years, he would only masturbate in the privacy of his room. It seems that old habits and norms die hard. He finally realized there was no need for 'privacy.' From then on, he would go to the cryo-chamber and stare at her body as he fucked her in his mind.

Sometimes he felt guilty. Other times the longing for her touch and voice made it too difficult. He would stop going to see her and stop masturbating with her or imagining her. He would use the AI. Sometimes for a year, even longer. But each time, he eventually returned to her.

Somewhere in all those years, he started talking to her. He told her all about his life. He would speak out loud and tell her his thoughts. He would tell her how he imagined her mouth around his throbbing cock as his cum erupted all over his hand. He would tell her how he would fuck her ass as he came inside the tight toy that simulated anal. He would whisper how much he loved her while slowly stroking himself to thoughts of making slow sweet love to each other.

With each passing year his love for Mary grew deeper and deeper. But he grew older too, and she never did, although it took some time before he really noticed that. Even as he approached and passed the age of 60, he didn't see it as odd to imagine having sex with her. She, of course, remained in her 20's, perhaps 22, like he had been at the beginning. In many ways he felt like he never aged either, although his libido slowed. His masturbatory sessions originally occurred every day or more, but eventually slowed to once a week and then even less. But the conversations, as one-sided as they were, became longer. He told her about books he read, the movies he watched, the long strategy games he played. He would even describe the porn he watched. He shared all of himself with her. Conversation replaced the passionate mind fucking.

He told her all about the things he learned. Over the years he completed the equivalent of four Ph.D.'s: two in science fields, one in sociology, and one in comparative religion. He turned to religion late, in an effort to understand himself and his place in the universe. Perhaps more, to understand a god who would destroy earth and all of humanity, except the ones housed here. The last vestiges of humanity.

This morning, as they approached Tau Ceti, the AI gently announced the imminent deceleration maneuvers. While acceleration had been gradual over time, to burn off the speed required a very deep approach to the star for a gravity breaking maneuver. Even the course corrections to achieve the right angle used thermonuclear explosions and thus would be violent. The close approach would expose anyone not in a cryosleep freeze tank to both extreme radiation and g-forces.

He had realized, some years earlier, that the design team had expected him to pass away long before this point. His job really had been during those first few years, making sure that communication back to earth continued. His job was a PR position. He served as the intrepid voyager. His messages and communications had been designed to bring hope to a failing world. At this point that world likely no longer existed, and the ever-increasing round trip time lag meant communication ceased.

He stood in front of her tank, "Mary, I love you. I have given you my love for so long. I have dreamt of ways that maybe, somehow, I would meet you. And you would fall in love with me as I have with you. But this is goodbye. This is my end. I have left a message for you, telling you who I am. Who I wish you were."

He climbed inside the coffin that had been prepared for him so many years ago. The techs called it the 'deceleration couch', but he knew. He knew that it couldn't possibly protect him, at his advanced age, from the harsh conditions. Even a young man would be gravely injured, at least, and unlikely to survive the radiation sickness. He had talked it over with the AI during the last decade. As he lay back, he crushed the capsule between his teeth, and the bitter almond flavor flooded his mouth.

*****

The dreams of a man started the first week after Alice emerged from cryosleep. They were so realistic that she sometimes expected to find him next to her in the morning. Cautiously she inquired if others in the colony experienced these types of explicit and realistic dreams. Although they all described some odd ones, only hers seemed this vivid, and recurring.

She knew him as Bill. She knew all about his life. She knew the passion of his desire for her. She saw his naked body with such detail in her dreams, right down to his throbbing cock. She dreamed fantasies of sweet gentle love making and wild passionate coupling. Although the agency didn't require it, she had been a virgin when selected for the trip. As a young woman she had focused exclusively on her studies, gaining her Ph.D. by 20. There had been no time for men. These dreams were of sexual activities well outside of her experience. They were wonderful because in addition to his passion, she could feel his love.

And he would age. In some dreams he appeared as a young man, her age, 22 or 23. In other dreams he would appear older, sometimes much older. As he aged, she felt the passionate love of his youth giving way to a deep abiding love. And she felt love for him too. Not at first, but his presence night after night grew to be a comfort in a hard and difficult place.

She would wake in the morning, her body aroused and ready. He fingers quickly finding her nipples to pinch and tease. One hand sliding down her body to her already wet and aroused pussy. Her mind replaying the dreams of the night before as her fingers made circles around her clit. She would often make herself cum multiple times before finally rising from bed for the day. Often the pleasure of those mornings was the highlight of her day.

The first anniversary celebration of "landfall" proved spectacular. Their success at establishing themselves on this new planet had not been easy or without hardship. The celebration was a needed reward for their efforts. They feasted on a combination of the last of the food they brought from earth and the first foods of their harvest. It was a celebration unlike anything any among them had ever experienced. It acknowledged that they -- and humanity - would survive.

Commander Harvey climbed up and stood at the podium. He gave thanks to a general deity and remembered those on earth who had worked so hard to make this mission work. They also remembered all on earth. It would be a few more years before they would know for sure, but they expected that all were dead. The cataclysmic end to all of humanity, except them.

And then Commander Harvey presented the coffin. Few on the mission knew of the caretaker. Their initial briefing didn't include mention of a member of the crew who would live alone the entire journey. A man named William, Bill. Alice gasped as his picture came into view. A short video from him played and his voice echoed from her dreams. Despite his age, much older than in her dreams, she recognized him. She began to cry. Lamenting his loss in ways that she didn't fully comprehend.

The AI never told anyone about the special message just for her. The psych program believed it would not be healthy for her. She looked forward to every night, when her dreams would be full of him and his love. And every morning she woke, knowing that the love of her life, her soulmate, was gone.