Teah Falls Off

Teah had just returned from a women's retreat in Southern California. Before her bible group left the Sunshine State, they stopped at a local fast food joint.

Food came in bigger portions out West.

Teah's group ordered what she could remember as a box combo.

Their order was loaded with grease-glistening triple cheeseburgers and alters of crispy French fries.

Teah recalled her only sin in that state: eating six of those huge triple cheeseburgers from that box meal.

She'd been on a strict diet for a few months.

Teah still had a weakness for beef patties smothered in bowel-binding cheese, adjacent to iceberg lettuce and juicy tomato slices.

Teah could taste the triple cheeseburgers in her sleep; she could savor the tangy zip of that knock-off Thousand Island dressing that made the sides of her mouth near her jaw joints ache with flavor.

Teah's mouth watered every time she imagined eating those sinfully good triple cheeseburgers.

She found herself drooling in the church van on the way home. The other women in the van chatted about whatever.

Teah stared out the window at the scenery.

Her mind wandered, thinking about her pregnant daughter Hannah, Hannah's dark, handsome boyfriend Germaine, Germaine's penis...pounding Teah hard...

No, Teah shut her eyes. That's wrong.

She asked forgiveness for those dirty thoughts.

How can I think that? Teah thought. I'm saved now.

But, thoughts like these plagued her mind day in, day out. She often thought that she was unworthy of forgiveness because she kept going back thinking the same old things.

The things she lusted after most were constantly coming back to haunt her in her new Christian lifestyle.

The more Teah thought about sex and poop, the stronger the urges got.

They kept coming; the signs and reminders were all around her. Teah felt safe from her sins at the retreat.

But, now she was going back home and she knew the sins of her flesh would kick in again. It was all a matter of how much fight she had left in her.

Teah arrived at home and received no welcome from her daughter, Hannah.

Instead, her estranged husband Hance was sitting on the couch watching the game.

Teah sat her things down and removed her jacket.

She started to ask Hance what he was doing in her house, and then she remembered that she told him that he could stay over and house sit while she was away.

Teah changed out of her church attire and into something casual. Hance didn't bother to ask her where she was going. By the way Teah was dressed, she was going out with friends.

Before she got ready to leave, Teah stood in front of the TV with her hands on her hips. She only did this when she wanted Hance's undivided attention.

But, Hance always thought she did that because she hated college football.

"I'm going out," Teah said. "Don't let anybody in here while I'm gone."

"I think I can handle that," Hance said. "Now move. You're blocking the game."

Teah didn't budge.

"Aren't you going to tell me I look nice?"

"Why?" he asked.

But that was a bad idea. She was still standing there and she wasn't moving. He had to make her move, so he pretended to give a damn.

Hance checked her out from feet to scalp; she had on black round toe, knee-high stretch wedge boots (probably knee length), black imitation leather pants and a black pleated fleece poncho.

He only guessed that she was wearing a long sleeve turtleneck sweater under the poncho.

"Are you modeling for a clothing store circular?"

"You can at least say something nice."

"Your butt is big," he told her.

Teah left without a word.

Hance remained on the sofa and fell asleep.

Hance was awakened by sounds of chatter coming from the kitchen.

Clearly, it was Teah and one of her fellow church members. They were talking about bodily functions, something about Teah that hadn't really changed.

"Did you get your Colonoscopy, Tonya?"

"I'm afraid," Tonya said to Teah. "I don't want anybody putting anything in my behind."

Hance walked in.

Teah and Tonya looked at him.

"I have company," Teah said abruptly.

"Hi," Hance said to Tonya.

"Hello," Tonya waved.

Hance sat at the table.

"What are you ladies talking about?"

"Teah said to get a Colonoscopy." Tonya said

"Why a Colonoscopy?" he asked her.

"Hance," Teah said.

"Because I've been taking stool softeners to make it easier to go."

"Go?" he asked deliberately.

"Go to the bathroom," Tonya said.

"That's enough," Teah said to Hance.

Tonya got up and shouldered her pocketbook.

"Guess I better get going."

"Forget the stool softener," Hance said. "Soak in a warm bath. It'll loosen things up a bit."

"Thanks," Tonya said and left.

Teah stood up in her poncho and leather pants.

"You are unbelievable."

Hance stood up and watched Teah go over to the sink. She ran some tap water and drank it down.

She came back to Hance.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"Because you're not being yourself," he said.

Teah scoffed.

"I was myself the last time I checked."

"When's the last time you checked?"

Teah turned her back to him.

Hance recalled better days when Teah wasn't such a conservative hypocrite. He knew the Teah of back in the day: a sexy, moderate, ditsy Southern Belle who wasn't afraid to reach around and dig between her butt cheeks when shit got stuck in her asshole

He wanted the Teah that wasn't ashamed of her big butt, the Teah that was comfortable picking wedgies and smelling her fingers, the Teah who'd walk around with her fly unzipped with the front of her panties exposed, the Teah that would pull down her pants and panties, exposing her bare behind just to rip a fart or let the head of a thick bowel movement groundhog.

Teah turned to Hance.

"What is it you want?" she asked.

"I want my wife back," Hance said. "I want the woman I married."

"I'm a new creature," Teah said. "I'm married to Jesus."

Hance gripped her up by the shoulders.

"You're married to me. No religion is ever gonna change that. I want you to stop this holier-than-thou bullshit and be yourself."

"You want me to start sinning again," she said.

"I want you to pick your nose. I want you to pick wedgies. I want you to belch and fart out loud. I want you to take down your pants, spread your cheeks and let a turd groundhog from your butthole."

Teah pulled away from him.

"You're disgusting, as always."

"I'm honest," Hance moved closer to her. "I'm real about it. I'm not some uppity, fake-ass church member like you."

Teah looked at him for a moment like she wanted to hit him, but she nodded her head to him.

"I'm going to pray for you, Hance."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, bitch. You probably have to shit right now."

Hance watched Teah's body language; she lifted her head slightly and had her eyes low.

"How long have you been holding it, Teah?"

She folded her arms and moved her tongue behind her cheek while Hance drilled her.

"How long has it been since you had a good bowel movement? Four days? A week? How long have you been holding in your poop? You afraid God's gonna see you're full of shit? Are you afraid of staining your holy reputation by taking a dump?"

He got right next to her.

"You're just scared to sit on the toilet and enjoy the feeling of a turd filling your asshole. You miss that feeling of fullness, the stretching of your back passage."

"That's so nasty," Teah said, but her vaginal region was becoming snotty and warm as she listened to him.

"You think God's going to strike you down if you get off while you take a shit? Do your fellow church members know that you can produce the same amount of excrement as a farm animal?"

Teah looked up at him.

"You won't turn my heart from the Lord." She pointed at Hance. "I rebuke you, Satan."

Hance looked behind him.

"Are you serious?"

Teah pointed to the door.

"Get out of my house."

Hance walked to the door and turned to her.

"Why are you acting like this? Is it because you still feel guilty about what you did with Germaine?"

"Stop judging me," Teah said. "I'm trying to live right and you keep on bringing up the past."

"I'm bringing it up because you haven't learned from it yet," he moved toward her.

She backed away from him and he stopped.

"Teah, I've known you for years. We used to be best friends. Now, I know that somewhere along the way, we got caught up in some bad vibes."

"You got greedy," Teah said. "All I wanted was some of the profits from those videos we made. Not an allowance. But, that's in the past."

"No, it isn't Teah. Because, you're still holding on to it. It's right here, right now, in the present."

Hance moved in and put his arms around her.

"I know you're hurt. I see you dragging your pain with you. You don't have to do that anymore."

Hance rubbed Teah's back in a way that made her gasp and shut her eyes. A lump formed in her throat.

"It's time to sit the weight down."

Hance palmed her face at the cheeks, and she shut her eyes to fight burning tears.

"Put it down and walk away."

She tried to pull away, but he kept her close.

"You've been carrying this pain for twelve long years. It's time to let it go."

She tried to get away from him again, but he just held on to her. She gripped his shirt like she would try to push him away, but instead turned her fists inward and let her face rest on his chest.

Hance smiled when he heard Teah sobbing; he felt her breath through his shirt and the dampness of her tears soaking through the material.

He stroked her head while her wails were muffled.

"I hurt you, Teah. I'm sorry. Forgive me."

Teah sniffled and swallowed, her face at his chest.

"I want things to be the way they used to be."

"We can start over," he said to her.

"I don't want to start over," she cried. "I want our old life back."

"We have a life," Hance said, "the one we created with our daughter. You can't live forever. That's why we reproduce. Hannah's going to be a mother just like you and Rhonda."

Teah moved away and leaned on the counter.

"I know you love me. You've never stopped loving me, even when I left you. I just did it to get back at you. I have a lot of pride."

Teah wiped her face.

"This isn't how I planned it. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this."

"Turn out like what?" Hance asked. "You being a mother? Turning 40? Do you remember when you told me that you wanted a baby, Teah? Well, I don't think you were telling me. You were telling God."

"He answered my prayers," Teah said. "He gave us a beautiful little girl."

"We're going to be grandparents. "I'm happy about that. You should be happy too."

Teah exhaled.

"I'm not happy, Hance. And I don't know why."

Hance folded his arms.

"Maybe you're constipated."

Teah scoffed.

"Don't start that again."

"I'm serious," he said. "I'm not being nasty. But, I've seen you like this before. You're stressed out."

"My job is cozy," she said. "But, the situations here are making things difficult for me."

"How long has it been?" he asked.

Teah kept her eyes low.

"A month."

Hance's mouth fell open.

"You haven't pooped in a month?"

"I haven't had the urge to go," she said. "No since I got back from the retreat."

"Oh my God," he said. "That's not healthy. You can get very sick. You could--"

"I know, I know."

Teah laughed a bit.

"I'm always telling Hannah not to let her poop get backed up inside her and look at me."

She moved closer to Hance.

"I couldn't go during the retreat. I tried to go to the bathroom, but I locked up. I stopped eating too. I just don't feel hungry that much anymore. I just go to work and sleep."

Teah kept her head low while Hance undid the front of her black leather pants.

Hance turned her around and bent her over on the table. He hadn't touched her skin in a long time; it was still plush and soft. He lowered her leather pants about mid-thigh length and let them gather there.

Her butt was darker than he remembered and she was wearing granny panties.

He opened her cheeks and a sour, rotten meat aroma hit his nose. He could see her butthole down there. It looked like the knotted end of a balloon and had long lines all around the opening.

How many turds had Hance missed since she left?

A low whisper fart escaped her.

Teah felt everything relaxing down there.

Her rectum instantly filled with a brute fecal gourd.

She stood straight and pulled up her pants.

Hance lifted her up and sat her on the table.

Hance kissed Teah before she could speak.

He removed her poncho and removed her turtleneck sweater until she just had on her bra. She threw her arms around him and kissed him back. She hadn't tasted Hance in so long, it hurt the sides of her mouth.

Hance took up her right foot and unzipped her stretch wedge boot. He unzipped the other boot and removed them; she was barefoot.

Her toenails were painted black.

He sniffed the soles of her feet.

Then he sucked and nibbled her ear lobes.

That was it. Teah was broken.

She pulled away from Hance, took him by the arm and went to her bedroom. She shut the door, went over to her dresser and put her hands on the top.

She looked in the mirror while Hance took her from behind and kissed her neck.

Teah moaned as he worked on her ear some more, and then put his tongue in there. Her toes gripped the rug under her feet and the cuffs of the leather pants were resting on the tops of her feet.

While Teah held on to his arm around her chest, Hance reached down in front of her and tunneled into her pants. He found her swollen clitoris and rubbed it in mind-bending, circular motions.

Teah almost crumpled into a hot messy heap, but she hung in there. She wanted dick inside of her.

And, her poop was coming.

Teah pulled down her pants, stepped out of them and kicked them away. She got a round, flat tin with Christmas decorations that once held cashew nuts.

She put it back there near her butt, leaned forth against the dresser and bent her knees slightly.

Hance knew what this meant.

He held the cashew tin under her butt; her right hand held one cheek and his left hand held the other.

Hance's erection grew in his pants as Teah's anus relaxed and bulged out a bit.

Then, it remained open for a few seconds.

Something was crackling up in there, and it stank like hell. Teah's labia opened and a white dribble oozed from the front part of it.

She curled her toes into fists on the bedroom rug as her butthole contracted and unleashed the start of a dark, mass of glossy poop morsels.

It was wide in circumference, thick in bulk and had the shape of a 6 ounce tube of toothpaste.

It stuck out about an inch and a half before it slid down some more. Her stomach gurgled before the turd slid down into the tin followed by a wave of lighter, mushy poop.

Teah squeezed off any remaining shit cream.

Hance put the shit-loaded tin on the dresser.

She didn't even bother to wipe herself. She stood up, turned around and yanked down the front of his pajama pants.

She pushed him back onto the bed and got on top of him. She positioned herself over his standing cock and opened up her vaginal lips around it.

She sat down on the penis and instantly began to ride the fuck out of it.

All in her ass crack was shit mud, but she didn't care. His dick was so fucking good. Taking that long awaited shit felt so fucking good.

Nothing else in the world mattered now.

After Teah had several medium orgasms, she rested on Hance's chest. He rubbed her back slowly.

"I thought you were married to Jesus," he joked.

Teah looked at him.

"I'm married to you. I love you."

Hance turned her on her stomach and opened her cheeks. He took some tissue from the night table and cleaned her shitty asshole the best he could.

He then proceeded to bang her from behind until she exploded in an orgasm of gushing pussy juice and accidental spurts of warm, yellow piss.

They rested for about 15 minutes, and then went at it again, with every explosive orgasm bigger and messier and taking longer to reach.

After 4 hours of fucking, the couple stopped.

They showered, changed the bed and slept for about six hours.

When morning came, they woke up in each other's arms and fucked again.

Around 5pm that afternoon, Hannah entered in her usual black jogging suit that hid her pregnancy.

She glanced at Teah, who was at the kitchen table, and continued down the hallway.

Seconds later, Hannah returned to the threshold of the kitchen. She gawked at her mother at the table pulling the tails off of chilled cooked shrimp.

Hannah took a few steps and stopped.

Teah was all dolled up in a black flair isle sweater dress that stopped at her knees with white snowflake-like patterns running across the chest and upper arms.

The sweater dress looked like an itchy hand-me-down and it had a huge collar and a zipper down to the cleavage area. Teah had on jeweled slides with 2 inch heels, decorated with fake plastic rhinestones and her feet were crossed at her ankles.

There was a big red flower in Teah's hair just above her left ear and her hair, silky and completely black, was straightened to her shoulders.

Teah hummed to herself while she peeled shrimp.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" Hannah asked.

Teah stopped peeling for a second.

"Mind your mouth, young lady."

"You look so tacky, mom. I can't believe you're actually wearing that."

"I dyed my hair," Teah said. "What do you think?"

"Color the gray all you want," Hannah slighted her, sitting down. "You're still old."

Teah stopped what she was doing and pinched her eyes at her daughter.

Then she breathed through her nose and continued.

"You're entitled to your opinion."

Teah smiled and started humming again.

"You're not taking my joy," Teah said with her eyes on the shrimp. "You're not going to ruin my day."

Teah peeled shrimp like Hannah wasn't there.

"That get-up is straight out of the Bargain Barn."

"Hannah, if you don't have anything nice to say, then go on about your business."

Teah got up with a bowl of peeled, cooked shrimp and took it to the stove.

"What happened to you, mom?"

Hannah knew that walk. It was the ass-bouncing, hip-shrugging, pelvis-circling, I-just-got-fucked walk.

"Are you and dad back together?"

Teah turned to Hannah, wiping her hands.

"Are you staying for dinner?"

Hannah got up.

"How could you go back to him, mom? I thought you hated him."

Teah put the rag down.

"Don't hate me because I'm happy."

"I'm not hatin' on you," Hannah said. "I just don't understand why you're fallin' all over dad now."

Teah smirked at Hannah.

"How could you go back to Germaine? I thought you hated him."

Hannah was about to cuss, but she caught herself.

She's right. For once, mom is actually right.

"Mom, that's different," Hannah said. "I still love Germaine."

"I still love your father."

Hannah nodded.

"You're hopeless. First you're a born again virgin and now you're fucking again. I don't understand you."

"Are you staying for dinner or not?"

Hannah saw her father enter.

Hance went right over and kissed Teah.

Hannah stood there with a yuck face.

"You two are disgusting."

Hannah left and slammed the front door.

Hance sat down at the table.

"What's for dinner?"

"Shrimp and broccoli," Teah said.

She took out the cutting board.

"I can't believe her."

She unwrapped a package of broccoli spears.

"Questioning me about my sex life. She needs to pay attention to her own life and stay out of mine."

"You know, for a second there, you sounded just like Hannah."

Teah stopped for a second with a large knife. She grinned and started cutting up the broccoli.

"Fuck that bitch. I'm happy. I'm beautiful. I love who I am. If she doesn't like it she can eat my shit. I oughta leave a turd in her bed. Ungrateful skeezer-ass, knocked up skank."