Teah X

In another universe, housewife Teah Jones was Officer Teah Saunders aboard the spaceship Lana Sloots. She was a Social Services Officer of the Galactic Council who loved food and hated board meetings.

Like her earthly counterpart, Teah had a divine, shapely body. She and many other women aboard the rather conservative vessel were required to wear a long officer's jacket that draped over her perky porn star breasts and her steatopygic derriere.

For the past two meetings, Teah had been watching a fellow female officer named Verna 'get off'.

Teah knew this by the way Verna would flinch and tweak in her chair.

Verna had told the Council that she was on strong medication for nerve damage and would sometimes jerk for no reason.

But Teah knew better. Teah knew what Verna was really doing. Somehow Verna was stimulating her body without even touching herself. The expressions on Verna's face were pure sexual satisfaction.

Teah decided to approach Verna after a meeting with the Galactic Council. Teah noticed a fairly fresh wet spot on the seat of Verna's chair.

Teah followed Verna into the hallway.

"Was it good for you?" Teah asked.

Verna turned toward Teah.

"I beg your pardon."

"In the meeting," Teah articulated. "You were getting off."

Verna's eyes shifted side to side, then lowered.

"I noticed the look on your face," Teah continued.

Verna walked away and Teah followed.

"Hey, sister. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put you on the spot here."

Teah stopped Verna with a hand to the shoulder.

"I just want what it is you have. I look at you and I see a woman that doesn't need the company of an erotic-droid. Novelty robots are credit consumers."

Verna grinned.

"Yeah. Sexual erotic-droids are pretty expensive in this solar system."

Verna and Teah entered the Mess Hall. Verna piled her plate with various selections from the army-style smorgasbord. Teah only had a salad and a glass of water. Teah watched Verna stuff her face.

"You eat like a zindor," Teah said.

Verna gulped down all 4 glasses of her juice.

"Zindors have six complex stomachs. I think they'd out eat me. So, Officer Saunders. What do you want to know?"

"The secret," Teah said. "How do you get off without touching yourself like that?" Teah eyed Verna's empty plate and glasses. "And how the fuck do you eat so much and stay so thin? I never see you at the gym on the ship's lower level."

Verna exhaled.

"Girl, you know you can't get nothing for free."

"I know."

"Every pleasure has a price."

Teah nearly shouted. "So tell me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life on the treadmill, eating leaves and drinking bottled water."

"The Vendor," Verna said, almost positive.

"What's that?" asked puzzled Teah.

"He's a merchant, a supplement dealer. Every circuit he is at the Interstellar Trade Convention. I believe he'll be there tomorrow."

"Who told you about it?"

"He approached me," Verna replied. "He said that I could use a lift in my love life. I can't have any children because of radiation cancer."

"And he gave you what?"

Verna looked around before placing a salt shaker-sized bottle on the table. It was half-filled with neon lavender liquid. "This is what he gave me. Organite."

"Orgainite?"

Verna snatched the bottle and put it away.

"It stimulates the sexual organs by way of thought itself. I can sit in a meeting thinking about a handsome, delicious space pirate force-fucking me, and then I'd cum. My entire body just shatters right there among them. They would never even know that I am sitting there, peaceful as a bayton, having an orgasm.

"Peaceful as a bayton?" Teah asked. "I'd like to experience that."

"The elixir has a sedative that keeps the user calm in the moment he or she climates."

Teah sat back with even more eager intentions.

"What does this vendor look like?"

"He isn't hard to find." Verna sat back. "He's very tall. He wears a dark brown robe. And he's very ugly."

"Ugly?" Teah asked.

"You don't want to see this guy with his hood off. Just ask him for Organite, pay for it and walk away."

Verna got up.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take a shit."

"But you just ate."

Verna fastened up her long officer's robe.

"I told you that every pleasure has a price."

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Teah went to the Interstellar Trade Convention in search of the Vendor. She must've been on her feet for 12 hours looking for him.

She undid the fasteners on her long officer's jacket, sat down on a bench and removed her self-lacing boots.

Teah spread her little toes within her thick military socks. She leaned back on the wall and shut her eyes.

With her eyes closed, she heard a woman's voice echoing in a nearby hallway; then Teah heard the woman say something about multiple orgasms.

Teah sat up and leaned forward on the bench. To her left was a hallway. In the hallway was another female officer talking with a tall, dark hooded figure.

Teah stood up, fastened up her jacket and slipped back into her boots. By the time Teah reached the towering stranger, the other woman had paid the Vendor and walked off.

Teah suddenly stopped and watched the Vendor move away from her. But then the Vendor stopped with its back to her.

The figure stood about 6 feet tall, but didn't look it from a distance. Teah approached the figure in the long dark robe with a hood cloaking its head.

She heard clicking and snapping sounds coming from within the robe, but paid it no mind.

"Excuse me?" she said to the figure.

"Did you fart?" the figure asked intellectually, still facing away from her.

Teah looked around making certain no one heard what was just spoken.

"I am a woman," she said lofty. "I pass gas."

"And I suppose you don't poop either," added the hooded figure.

Teah declined to answer.

"You came to me for a reason."

"Yes," Teah disclosed. "I hear that you are in possession of a rare supplement."

The Vendor finally turned to her, and then she backed away a bit.

"I do not carry such things. I do sell elixirs."

"Okay," Teah rephrased her statement. "I hear that you are in possession of a rare elixir."

"You had no clue that I had elixirs until I told you so," The Vendor said disdainfully. "And I am in possession of thousands of elixirs. So you'll have to be more specific."

Teah moved closer to the Vendor.

"I want to get off without touching myself. I want to have multiple orgasms. I want to be able to sit down at these boring galactic meetings and squirt my pussy juice in my uniform pants without making the slightest sound. I heard that you are in possession of an elixir that enables me to do it."

Teah stepped closer to the dark figure.

"Now, can we do business?"

The tall dark figure stretched forth a long, gloved limb with a salt shaker-sized bottle in hand.

The liquid was neon lavender, just like the bottle Verna had shown her.

As Teah reached for it, the Vendor moved it away and back into its robe.

"Ah, first I must tell you the side effects."

"Fuck that," she muttered. "Tell me how much."

The Vendor said, "Three hundred, fifty credits."

"Okay," Teah bobbed her head. "Brief me about these side effects."

The Vendor held out the bottle, hypnotizing Teah with it as the neon fluid warmed her with its glow.

"Organite," the creature hissed. "It is a dramatic stimulant for human beings. It causes them to have incredibly powerful orgasms."

Teah looked upon the glowing fluid and it was pleasing to her eyes.

"Orgainite's only side effects are the parasitic compounds in the sedative formula. These compounds help suppress hunger, therefore greatly reducing the urge to overeat. The sedative may cause some irregularity and nausea. But nothing defecation and vomiting couldn't cure."

Teah thought about it for a moment. She was on a spaceship in the middle of who-knows-where, with this merchant-thing offering her sexual stimulants.

Was it a dream? Or was it a dream come true for a bored-out-of-her-life starship officer?

"I have three-hundred," Teah opened her purse.

The Vendor snatched her purse away and pulled out an object called a credit key, which looked like a VC adapter. The creature plugged the adapter-thingy into what looked like a television remote control strapped to his clawed appendage.

"Three hundred will do for now." The Vendor gave Teah back her purse and credit key. "When next you see me, you will have the other fifty."

The Vendor gave Teah the Orgainite. Teah looked further up the vendor's arm and saw part of its chest.

It was a leathery grooved texture that was glossy and hairy.

The Vendor quickly walked away making snapping and clicking sounds.

Teah snapped herself out of it and looked at the bottle of Organite. It was warm and it felt a bit heavy.

She turned the bottle upside down and a bubble of air floated up in the bottle of liquid. She smiled and put the bottle in her purse.

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When Teah was relieved of her duties in the Social Services Center, she retired to her quarters. She showered and misted herself in body spray.

She put on a galactic sheer blue mesh dress with nothing on under it. The alluring long-sleeved mesh dress with a scoop neck and deep cut back conformed to her curvy figure and protruding features as if she were poured into it.

She searched the Organite bottle for instructions and found measuring lines along the side.

Teah read the tiny print on the bottle:

Amidst consumption of a full course meal, ingest one fourth of the elixir, finish the meal and ingest another fourth. Do not ingest more than two fourths in a 24 hour period. Elixir takes effect in 30 minutes. Stimulation lasts up to 12 hours.

Teah went over to the CuisineMachine.

"Select a menu," said the CuisineMachine.

Teah selected the Mexican menu.

"I would like 2 large steak quesadillas, 2 large steak burritos -- all with extra melted cheese -- and tortilla chips with a side of jalapeno dip."

Teah went to her sleeping area and got a comforter off her bed. When she came back she pressed a button and opened her automatic foldout couch.

She got her food from the CuisineMachine and sat on the foldout couch. She began to eat her first burrito and then took a sip of the Organite.

The warm soft tortilla shells, the gooey cheeses, the rich meats -- her senses nearly erupted. She devoured all 4 articles of food, sipped more Organite and crunched on nachos in between.

She went to the dental station and cleansed her mouth. She then laid down on the foldout couch and watched rocket racers blast asteroids on the Solar Sports Channel.

Teah hadn't moved for about an hour. She awakened and stretched out. A warm, tingly sensation overcame her entire body and she fell still again.

The tingling did not stop. The ruptures of warmth flowed easily throughout her -- she groaned deeply and put her hand down at her privates.

She gasped at the intense sensitivity and laid still.

The Organite was taking full effect, just as Verna and the Vendor said it would. Teah was in paradise.

She remained on her back like nothing else existed.

She dreamed of an anatomically correct, well-endowed man. The original man. The Black Man.

And then, her very thoughts felt like reality. She could feel him settling on top of her. Her mouth opened up as did her vagina.

Her legs went up and back as her dream man entered her slowly with smooth strokes and deep thrusts. The walls of her vagina gripped tightly to nothing, but she felt as if a man were prying her open.

She began to shake uncontrollably, and then an unrelenting stream of her secretions shot across her quarters. She put her hand to her head, like that would stop the crazy orgasms she was having.

Then, Teah was out cold.

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The next day Teah experienced her first silent orgasm during a Galactic Council meeting.

She marveled at the huge wet spot in her chair after getting off among her colleagues.

Teah saw Verna near the Mess Hall.

"Hey," Teah approached. "How was it for you?"

Verna looked like she'd just been caught taking a shit in a urinal.

"Are you okay?" asked Teah.

"I spoke to the doctor today."

"And?"

Verna took a few steps.

"I have to stop taking the Organite. And I suggest that you stop taking it too."

Teah gave Verna a glare of discrepancy.

"Girl, are you nuts?"

"Never buy anything from the Vendor again. You have been warned."

Verna walked away like she'd been gang fucked.

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Teah had used her entire bottle of Orgainite and sought the Vendor at the next Interstellar Trade Convention. She waited in the hallway where the Vendor was last. She had brought the fifty credits she owed him like he had asked.

She had waited the entire length of the 24 hour convention. Teah had fallen asleep on a bench.

Clicking and snapping sounds became more and more audible as Teah came to. And there, right in front of the bench was the Vendor.

She sat up and eyed the tall robed figure.

"Where were you?" Teah asked.

"I had shit to do," said the Vendor. "Sue me."

"Here's the fifty credits," Teah handed over her credit key.

The Vendor quickly snatched the key and handed it back to her.

"I need more Organite," Teah said.

The Vendor shuffled its long arms behind the dark robe, like it was frisking itself for something.

"I'm sorry. I don't have any more with me."

"What? I thought you were a fucking vendor!"

The menacing figure moved toward Teah.

"You don't scare me," Teah snapped.

Instantly, the Vendor ripped off its hood and Teah looked upon the hairy, jagged face of a scarab-like alien creature. The Vendor's robe swept open to reveal a super-slender beetle body standing firm on two back insect legs. Covering the Vendor's hideous mouthparts was some kind of voice modification device.

When the Vendor's extra arms swayed at its side, they made coarse clicking and snapping sounds.

The Vendor gripped Teah by the neck and lifted her off the floor. One of its hairy appendages reached out and stroked her tummy.

The Vendor threw Teah into the wall and quickly spun her around. The back of her jacket and pants were ripped open by a sharp claw and a lengthy member forced its way up between her buttocks.

She screamed with her face pressed to the cool steel wall, until she was unconscious. The Vendor dropped Teah, closed its robe and walked away.

Teah lay there in the hallway totally comatose.

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Teah awakened in the medical division of the ship.

She was in a skimpy medical gown and had on thick long stockings. She sat upright on the padded table and clutched her stomach. She felt the sensation of a huge stone in her tummy.

The doctor entered.

"Good. You're up."

"How did I get here?" Teah asked.

"Some officials found you," said the doctor. "First they thought you were AWOL. Then they realized you had been attacked."

Teah had a brief, horrible flashback: waiting for the Vendor, the Vendor's insect face, the 'whatever-it-was' that damn near ripped her rectum open as it invaded her.

I was ass-fucked by a fucking space bug, she thought.

Teah saw that the doctor had a straight face.

"So what's the deal? Am I okay or what?"

"Well," the doctor said. "It doesn't look good."

"Get to the point," Teah said.

"The elixir you've been taking is a placebo."

"It works. I got off without touching myself."

"Sexual stimulation is a distraction from the real function of the sedative."

The doctor turned on a screen with a computer generated outline of Teah's body.

"This elixir works for 12 hours and then it does its real job for the rest of its stay in your body."

He pointed to the stomach.

"This is where the parasitic compounds of the elixir gather after it tricks your body into believing you'll stay sexually stimulated. It emits itself through the lining of your stomach while your food is digested into chyme."

On the CG outline, the chyme moves out of the stomach and into the small intestine.

"As the chyme moves through your intestines, the compounds of the elixir solidifies the chyme, thus making it become firmer than regular waste."

"Wait," Teah said. "You said that the elixir contains parasitic compounds?"

"Yes," said the doctor.

"Aren't parasites alive? Don't parasitic organisms need a host to breed in?"

"You are correct, Officer. However, these particular parasitic organisms will form one fused entity when all of the elixir has been absorbed into your chyme."

Teah jumped off the table and pulled her medical gown down over her juicy thighs.

"Are you telling me that this elixir is going to turn my shit into some giant larva?"

"Your imagination is meticulous," the doctor said.

"Bullshit," Teah nodded. "Fucking bullshit!"

"No. It's your shit. All of it. And by this time tomorrow, the parasitic compounds absorbed into your chyme will form a hybrid feces-insect xenomorphic creature by the time it reaches your ascending colon."

Teah sat down on the bed.

"Officer, where did you get this elixir?" the doctor asked as if to comfort her.

"The Vendor."

The doctor shut his eyes.

"Did he wear a hooded robe?"

"Yes. He's a merchant at the..."

"At the Interstellar Trade Convention," the doctor finished like he'd heard it before.

"Yes."

"Officer, you know the Vendor is not human."

"I figured that out for myself," Teah said. "Not many vendors shove a barbed hairy shaft up into your asshole after you insult them."

"I don't think you understand the magnitude of the deal you've made. The Vendor is a race of creature known as Scarabillus. They are intergalactic collectors of bodily toxins."

"The Vendor is a fucking dung beetle?!"

"Yes," said the doctor grimly. "These creatures target humans for their feces, mainly females because of the amount of waste a woman's body can produce. We believe that the member inserted into her rectum is a semen deposit that will help the turd-larva grow faster inside of you."

"I'm not giving birth to some interstellar shit bug's fertilizer experiment!"

"Your colleague Verna came here the other day with stomach pain."

"And?"

The doctor turned away from Teah.

"She's dead now."

"How?"

"Deck officers found her on the toilet. She lost a lot of blood."

A thunderclap of gut-stabbing pain struck Teah so hard that she fell forward on her knees. Something inside of her body was moving. She put her hand on her tummy and felt something pushing its way along.

She looked up at the doctor.

"It's moving! Oh God, it's moving!"

She got to her feet.

"This thing's gonna tear me open if I poop."

"There is no other way." He went to his desk and came back with a small bottle. "Unless you use this."

"What is that?" she asked.

"Pheromones. This will attract the creature within you. Pour all of this around the inner rim of the toilet. When the thing comes out, it will go straight for the pheromones. This way it will come out quickly and won't torture you gradually."

"Oh God," she groaned. "I feel like I'm about to give birth!"

"Use your RoboJon. The automated waste disposal system will automatically flush the feces. It will also hose off your messy bottom for your trouble."

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Back in Teah's quarters, she sat on her bed in her sheer blue mesh dress watching solar sports.

She had wads of tissue balled up in a nearby box from where she had been constantly wiping herself from excessive anal leakage.

Obviously, the Vendor's reproductive secretions had done the job and now it was looking for a way out of her body. Teah's quarters began to smell really bad.

She bagged up the shit-semen soaked tissues and took them to the waste disposal chute down the hall.